Warning

 

Close
Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Cancel Confirm
AR15.COM
4/14/2007 4:41:51 AM EDT
I've

4/14/2007 4:45:41 AM EDT
[#1]
Tubgirl?
4/14/2007 4:46:17 AM EDT
[#2]
Do a Ron Jeremy pic.
4/14/2007 4:49:11 AM EDT
[#3]
bare chested biker in assless chaps?


don't forget the leather hat and well groomed mustachio.
4/14/2007 4:49:14 AM EDT
[#4]

Do a Ron Jeremy pic.


You are a cold sob. That one definitely wouldn't work.
4/14/2007 4:51:12 AM EDT
[#5]
How about something like this



4/14/2007 4:53:18 AM EDT
[#6]
Yup. Set low standards and they will definitely get lower.
4/14/2007 5:10:18 AM EDT
[#7]
Why not just a simple picture of you at your desk, in front of your word processor or computer, doing what you love to do:  Writing?  

I'd only recommend a theme-based photo if you're pretty standard in your subject material - think Tom Clancy on a carrier or destroyer.  If your stories focus on military, go with the Vietnam-era with you in your uniform, as it lends credibility to your pieces.  If you compose mostly hunting/fishing things, the canoe and pup.  And etc, and etc.

Congratulations on the success so far!  One day I hope to join you, but I am a ways away still.
4/14/2007 5:45:56 AM EDT
[#8]

Quoted:
I've been writing short stories for a while, started sending them in, have had about eight published in magazines. No f'n way will I ever say in which magazines and under what name. I have seen what this bunch can do when activated. Worse than stepping barefooted a foot high south Alabama fire ant bed on a hot July afternoon. Will eat your ass alive. I have been asked by the publisher to provide an appropriate photo to accompany the next two stories I submitted. Do I do the unrepentant Vietnam Combat Veteran with an unforgiving glare complete with faded jungle fatigues and worn ribbons? How about the Papa Hemminwayisque pipe and rugged masculine the world is bad but I'm better than you all no matter what attitude? Or borrow my buddy Jerry's Harley and dress up in all that leather shit like a confused masochistic transvestite trying to compensate for sexual inadequacies so I bought a Harley look? How about the woodsman in Cabells outfit ina canoe on a placid lake with my devoted lab by my side (mean sob most likely would tip me over), or the grandpa in the rocking chair with a cherubic child in my lap , I could borrow a damn kid for a while or at best rent one from the trailer park down the road, shit there are so many running around down there they wouldn't miss one at all. Anyway, suggestions?



You write smut for gay porn mags, don't you?
4/14/2007 5:49:04 AM EDT
[#9]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I've been writing short stories for a while, started sending them in, have had about eight published in magazines. No f'n way will I ever say in which magazines and under what name. I have seen what this bunch can do when activated. Worse than stepping barefooted a foot high south Alabama fire ant bed on a hot July afternoon. Will eat your ass alive. I have been asked by the publisher to provide an appropriate photo to accompany the next two stories I submitted. Do I do the unrepentant Vietnam Combat Veteran with an unforgiving glare complete with faded jungle fatigues and worn ribbons? How about the Papa Hemminwayisque pipe and rugged masculine the world is bad but I'm better than you all no matter what attitude? Or borrow my buddy Jerry's Harley and dress up in all that leather shit like a confused masochistic transvestite trying to compensate for sexual inadequacies so I bought a Harley look? How about the woodsman in Cabells outfit ina canoe on a placid lake with my devoted lab by my side (mean sob most likely would tip me over), or the grandpa in the rocking chair with a cherubic child in my lap , I could borrow a damn kid for a while or at best rent one from the trailer park down the road, shit there are so many running around down there they wouldn't miss one at all. Anyway, suggestions?



You write smut for gay porn mags, don't you?


Blue Boy to be exact.
4/14/2007 5:52:50 AM EDT
[#10]
isnt axl and ronmann the same person? or did we determine that they arent?
4/14/2007 7:42:45 AM EDT
[#11]

isnt axl and ronmann the same person? or did we determine that they arent?


Nope. Wish I had half his imagination though. I wouldn't be writing stories for regional magazines.
4/14/2007 7:48:10 AM EDT
[#12]

Quoted:
I've been writing short stories for a while, started sending them in, have had about eight published in magazines. No f'n way will I ever say in which magazines and under what name. I have seen what this bunch can do when activated. Worse than stepping barefooted a foot high south Alabama fire ant bed on a hot July afternoon. Will eat your ass alive. I have been asked by the publisher to provide an appropriate photo to accompany the next two stories I submitted. Do I do the unrepentant Vietnam Combat Veteran with an unforgiving glare complete with faded jungle fatigues and worn ribbons? How about the Papa Hemminwayisque pipe and rugged masculine the world is bad but I'm better than you all no matter what attitude? Or borrow my buddy Jerry's Harley and dress up in all that leather shit like a confused masochistic transvestite trying to compensate for sexual inadequacies so I bought a Harley look? How about the woodsman in Cabells outfit ina canoe on a placid lake with my devoted lab by my side (mean sob most likely would tip me over), or the grandpa in the rocking chair with a cherubic child in my lap , I could borrow a damn kid for a while or at best rent one from the trailer park down the road, shit there are so many running around down there they wouldn't miss one at all. Anyway, suggestions?



But you would think for a professional writer you would break up that huge wall of words into separate paragraphs.

Dunno... just a thought....
4/14/2007 7:52:40 AM EDT
[#13]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I've been writing short stories for a while, started sending them in, have had about eight published in magazines. No f'n way will I ever say in which magazines and under what name. I have seen what this bunch can do when activated. Worse than stepping barefooted a foot high south Alabama fire ant bed on a hot July afternoon. Will eat your ass alive. I have been asked by the publisher to provide an appropriate photo to accompany the next two stories I submitted. Do I do the unrepentant Vietnam Combat Veteran with an unforgiving glare complete with faded jungle fatigues and worn ribbons? How about the Papa Hemminwayisque pipe and rugged masculine the world is bad but I'm better than you all no matter what attitude? Or borrow my buddy Jerry's Harley and dress up in all that leather shit like a confused masochistic transvestite trying to compensate for sexual inadequacies so I bought a Harley look? How about the woodsman in Cabells outfit ina canoe on a placid lake with my devoted lab by my side (mean sob most likely would tip me over), or the grandpa in the rocking chair with a cherubic child in my lap , I could borrow a damn kid for a while or at best rent one from the trailer park down the road, shit there are so many running around down there they wouldn't miss one at all. Anyway, suggestions?



But you would think for a professional writer you would break up that huge wall of words into separate paragraphs.

Dunno... just a thought....



I find it very Faulknerian.  
4/14/2007 8:00:41 AM EDT
[#14]
Do your short storries begin like this?

     "Dear Penthouse, One day my friend Jerry and I were out fishing... "
4/14/2007 8:03:33 AM EDT
[#15]
The reason for doing that is to draw you into the message. It makes you concentrate beyond the spoof of two second sound bites trying to grab attention. The difficult part is to keep them long enough to require concentration but not too long to lose attention. And by no means am I a professional.
4/14/2007 9:42:08 AM EDT
[#16]

Quoted:
Do your short storries begin like this?

     "Dear PenthousePlaygirl, One day my friend Jerry and I were out fishing... "


Fixed
4/14/2007 9:45:44 AM EDT
[#17]

Quoted:

isnt axl and ronmann the same person? or did we determine that they arent?


Nope. Wish I had half his imagination though. I wouldn't be writing stories for regional magazines.



keep trying, if thats your goal your getting close.
4/14/2007 10:39:53 AM EDT
[#18]
Don't send anything with a two-fisted hold and a sag in the middle.
4/14/2007 10:49:02 AM EDT
[#19]
Bending over, ass facing the camera, hands stretching your rectum to an inhuman diameter, with a wedding ring on.
4/14/2007 12:51:08 PM EDT
[#20]
Damn. Ya'll just like that bad ( bad meaning not good at all) tattoo I got on my ass. Just won't let go.
4/14/2007 1:12:47 PM EDT
[#21]

Quoted:
Damn. Ya'll just like that bad ( bad meaning not good at all) tattoo I got on my ass. Just won't let go.


Hey, I tried to give you and honest opinion.  When you ignore the serious replys and answer the funny ones expect a few jabs, bro.  
4/14/2007 1:18:20 PM EDT
[#22]
Yup. You're right. I'm in and out today. Sorry.
4/14/2007 1:21:15 PM EDT
[#23]

Quoted:
Bending over, ass facing the camera, hands stretching your rectum to an inhuman diameter, with a wedding ring on.


The fact that you were able to think that up is disturbing.  What's more disturbing is that we've all be exposed to similar shit, via web searches and emails that our idiots friends have sent us.
4/14/2007 1:35:45 PM EDT
[#24]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Bending over, ass facing the camera, hands stretching your rectum to an inhuman diameter, with a wedding ring on.


The fact that you were able to think that up is disturbing.  What's more disturbing is that we've all be exposed to similar shit, via web searches and emails that our idiots friends have sent us.


Oh, I didn't think it up. It's not my original idea at all. I was rather unfortunately and horrifically... inspired.
4/14/2007 3:17:44 PM EDT
[#25]
You said they want an appropriet picture. I think we need to know a little more so we can get a better idea on what would be appropriet.
4/14/2007 3:21:35 PM EDT
[#26]

Quoted:
I've been writing short stories for a while, started sending them in, have had about eight published in magazines. No f'n way will I ever say in which magazines and under what name. I have seen what this bunch can do when activated. Worse than stepping barefooted a foot high south Alabama fire ant bed on a hot July afternoon. Will eat your ass alive. I have been asked by the publisher to provide an appropriate photo to accompany the next two stories I submitted. Do I do the unrepentant Vietnam Combat Veteran with an unforgiving glare complete with faded jungle fatigues and worn ribbons? How about the Papa Hemminwayisque pipe and rugged masculine the world is bad but I'm better than you all no matter what attitude? Or borrow my buddy Jerry's Harley and dress up in all that leather shit like a confused masochistic transvestite trying to compensate for sexual inadequacies so I bought a Harley look? How about the woodsman in Cabells outfit ina canoe on a placid lake with my devoted lab by my side (mean sob most likely would tip me over), or the grandpa in the rocking chair with a cherubic child in my lap , I could borrow a damn kid for a while or at best rent one from the trailer park down the road, shit there are so many running around down there they wouldn't miss one at all. Anyway, suggestions?




I don't know what type of stories you write, or what type of magazines they are published in.

Until then, I would suggest just a conservative portrait with a clean Oxford shirt and a smile.

4/14/2007 3:34:56 PM EDT
[#27]
I assume you weren't really looking for serious answers or you would have had the good sense to ask elsewhere.  

If I get a vote, I say go for the pirate look.  Nothing says "fun" like Johnny Depp in eyeshadow..
4/14/2007 3:35:56 PM EDT
[#28]
What did axl do?
4/14/2007 3:38:43 PM EDT
[#29]

Quoted:
Yup. You're right. I'm in and out today. Sorry.


Not sure I like the sound of that, after some of what's been posted....
4/14/2007 3:43:17 PM EDT
[#30]
Just have a picture based on what you write about. Whether it is hunting, fishing, military, smut mags, etc.
4/14/2007 3:46:25 PM EDT
[#31]
Here you go, I think it's your style:

ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=551251
4/14/2007 3:54:11 PM EDT
[#32]
For pete's sake have some sort of background

I hate the author's pics in the books that look

like a stupid high school yearbook photo
4/14/2007 4:10:42 PM EDT
[#33]

the unrepentant Vietnam Combat Veteran with an unforgiving glare complete with faded jungle fatigues and worn ribbons