Posted: 3/7/2007 12:34:03 PM EDT
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Hello all, Before I even begin, I want you to know that I'm dead serious, and I would appreciate if you wouldn't give me any bullshit about my issue. Ok here it goes, lately I have been having some serious issues with gas. In ther words I can't stop farting. At first it was allot of fun, but it is starting to get old, and I have recently met a new lady friend, and it has been shear hell trying to hold back from letting one squeek out . Before you even tell me to change my eating habits, I want you to know that I am on the healthy side and I am not over weight. I practice good eating habits and I exercise regulary. So if anyony can relate to what I am going through and offer a simple remedy, it would be much appreciated. |
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So, a lady walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, ya gotta help me. I've been having an awful lot of gas lately. They're completely silent and have no odor, so nobody notices, but I'm farting all the time. In fact, you probably haven't noticed it but I've farted three time since you walked into the room." The doctor just nods his head and writes out a prescription. "Here, take these and come back in two weeks." Two weeks later, the lady walks back in and she's livid. "Doctor, those pills you gave me are no good! I'm still silently farting all the time but now they smell horrible! I'm so embarassed." Doctor says "Good, now that we've fixed your nose let's work on your ears." Sorry Bro, not to make light of your situation, but how's the hearing?? |
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Serious here. How regular are you? How much water are you drinking? Are you enjoying greasy foods, OR a lot of vegetables? Check that out first, and try to eat a balanced diet. Cut back on the beer, cheese, and fried stuff. try also yogurt in the AM, as it seems to have worked on the gas for me. Not the over-sugared shit that Dannon and Yoplait packages, but the straight unflavored stuff with a tablespoon of preserves mixed in. |
I liked that, definitely classic..... Thanks.. |
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You actually got two valid replies.... 1. Dairy products. You may not realize that you have become lactose intolerant. A lot of anti biotics will cause intolerance (by killing the bacteria necessary for processing lactose). This intolerance can cause things such as gas, diarrhea, and a few other symptoms. 2. Green vegetables. Many green vegetables will cause flatulance. Primarily the non leafy ones such as beans (including green, string etc...), peas, peppers and so on. Try the beano and go easy on dairy products. hope this helps |