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AR15.COM
1/8/2007 2:41:15 PM EDT
"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."


"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"


"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.


"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."


"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."


"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."


"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"


"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."


"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."


"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."


"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."


"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"


"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."


"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."


"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."


"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."
1/8/2007 2:43:00 PM EDT
[#1]
Uh yeah, thats pretty much it and water is wet
1/8/2007 2:43:12 PM EDT
[#2]
Oh, shit!
1/8/2007 2:47:28 PM EDT
[#3]
that pretty much sums it up
1/8/2007 2:47:35 PM EDT
[#4]
1/8/2007 2:48:00 PM EDT
[#5]

Quoted:
Uh yeah, thats pretty much it and water is wet




1/8/2007 2:50:26 PM EDT
[#6]

Quoted:
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."


1/8/2007 2:50:26 PM EDT
[#7]
I tell my wife that a man's User's Manual is very simple:

Feed me.
F*ck me.

And I will worship at your feet.
1/8/2007 2:53:01 PM EDT
[#8]
Woman:  Blah blah blah blah and blah blah.

Translation:  I must have all of your attention all the time so I may suck the life out of you.
1/8/2007 2:55:36 PM EDT
[#9]
The women that master the art of fellatio have no problem getting their men to do what they want, WHEN they want.  They understand a quid pro quo relationship.
1/8/2007 2:55:36 PM EDT
[#10]
Guilty as charged.
1/8/2007 2:58:44 PM EDT
[#11]
1/8/2007 2:59:39 PM EDT
[#12]
I hope those do not come as a suprise.



1/8/2007 2:59:57 PM EDT
[#13]

Quoted:
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."


Translated: I can't explain it any simpler without you thinking I'm talking to you like a child.  Then you would go all drama queen on me, and I'd have to sleep on the couch.

1/8/2007 3:12:11 PM EDT
[#14]

Quoted:

Quoted:
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."


Translated: I can't explain it any simpler without you thinking I'm talking to you like a child.  Then you would go all drama queen on me, and I'd have to sleep on the couch.

That's the only one I didn't agree with, and you corrected it superbly.  Sir, I commend you.
1/8/2007 3:15:10 PM EDT
[#15]
It's even simpler.

When the little head gets hard, the big head gets soft.

Sex is our only REAL motivation.  Everything else is just a diversion in between sex sessions,
and most of those diversions are aimed at getting more sex.   Those that aren't are mostly
associated with basic survival.


CJ


1/8/2007 3:16:08 PM EDT
[#16]
Just like a woman to think it takes that much talking to figure out men.

Let me 'splain it to you. When a guy gets up in the morning, what gets up first?

End of explanation.
1/8/2007 3:20:03 PM EDT
[#17]
"Uh huh"

1/8/2007 3:23:08 PM EDT
[#18]

Divorce....damn hard, but sssooooo worth it in the end.

1/8/2007 3:23:26 PM EDT
[#19]

Quoted:
Just like a woman to think it takes that much talking to figure out men.

Let me 'splain it to you. When a guy gets up in the morning, what gets up first?

End of explanation.



BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!
1/8/2007 3:24:15 PM EDT
[#20]
We are simple creatures, all we need are-

Food Sleep Sex and not in any particular order


oh and guns
1/8/2007 3:27:57 PM EDT
[#21]

Quoted:
The women that master the art of fellatio have no problem getting their men to do what they want, WHEN they want.  They understand a quid pro quo relationship.


Truer words never spoken. Well played sir.
1/8/2007 3:28:46 PM EDT
[#22]

Quoted:
"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."








<--------  guilty
1/8/2007 3:33:53 PM EDT
[#23]

Quoted:
I tell my wife that a man's User's Manual is very simple:

Feed me.
F*ck me.

And I will worship at your feet.


You forgot

Shut the FUCK UP
1/8/2007 3:39:21 PM EDT
[#24]

Quoted:
Woman:  Blah blah blah blah and blah blah.

Translation:  I must have all of your attention all the time so I may suck the life out of you.


Ding Ding.  We have a winner.  The wife is on a 24 hour rampage of my so called hate of women.  I said tell me what I say that is not true.  She had no answer.  I would say "owned" but that pissed of bitch has left the building.

Everything in my life that has caused me great pain and emotional stress has been caused by women.  I see a pattern.  I told her graduate in April, we will get our finances in order and we will go our sperate ways.  This is the 2nd degree I have put her through.  I work 60-80 hours per week and she wonders why I am stressed.

Rant over.  They are all the same it just the amount of shit you can take and your personal level of pride.

Signed,

Bitter m23ther Fu&*er
1/8/2007 3:40:32 PM EDT
[#25]

Quoted:

Quoted:
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."


Translated: I can't explain it any simpler without you thinking I'm talking to you like a child.  Then you would go all drama queen on me, and I'd have to sleep on the couch.



Oh sh6t, another winner.
1/8/2007 3:43:59 PM EDT
[#26]

Quoted:
We are simple creatures, all we need are-

Food Sleep Sex and not in any particular order


oh and guns


If sex is available, the food and sex can wait. End of Male User Manual.
1/8/2007 6:24:24 PM EDT
[#27]

Quoted:

Quoted:
We are simple creatures, all we need are-

Food Sleep Sex and not in any particular order


oh and guns


If sex is available, the food and sex can wait. End of Male User Manual.


+1
1/8/2007 6:26:26 PM EDT
[#28]
1/8/2007 6:27:01 PM EDT
[#29]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:
We are simple creatures, all we need are-

Food Sleep Sex and not in any particular order


oh and guns


If sex is available, the food and sex can wait. End of Male User Manual.


+1



Am I the only one who sees something wrong with that comment?
1/8/2007 6:33:36 PM EDT
[#30]
If you were a man you would have automatically read 'sleep' because we are NOT giving up sex for any other option
1/8/2007 6:37:56 PM EDT
[#31]
Its easy - men need 3 things in life

Sleep
Food
Sex

...and not in that order


Not much else
1/8/2007 6:42:51 PM EDT
[#32]

Quoted:
If you were a man you would have automatically read 'sleep' because we are NOT giving up sex for any other option








Now, how do I get Parrot Bay Passion and Mango out of a keyboard????
1/8/2007 6:50:38 PM EDT
[#33]
There is definitely a relationship between men,  their sex lives, and their weapons.



Face it...if we can't fuck it,  we'll kill it.   Or something else, anyway.  



JC