[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Revenge help needed quickly (Page 1 of 3)
Posted: 9/13/2006 1:43:51 PM EDT
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This afternoon at work I was in the bathroom, at a urinal, doing my thing. A coworker comes in, grabs my shoulders, and proceeds to shake me side to side and I ended up dribbling a bit on my pants. So naturally I punch him a few times on the shoulder and shove him into a stall and then proceed to clean up. I was left with a noticable wet spot in the worst possible location. I work in a .gov facility, office-type atmosphere, and had the longest walk back to my desk ever. I tried holding a cup over the offending spot. Not sure if that worked or not. So now on to the revenge. Keep in mind security is tight where I work. I need to get the fucker back. I need to escalate above his offending action. I need to make him sorry he even considered messing with a man in the bathroom in the middle of his duties. And he needs to feel the embarassment I felt, but roughly doubled. Suggestions? |
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1. Wait until you see him headed for the mens room 2. Pour hot sauce on your hand 3. Catch him right before he goes into the mens room and shake hands, just to let him know that's he's still your pal 4. Wait outside and listen to the screaming when he gets hot sauce on his pecker |
that's a good one |
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buy a large ape. chimps are best for this. feed the thing as much bananas as it will eat. from there there are two ways to go.. figure out how to get into his car, slim jim, coat hanger etc.. feed the ape a ton of exlax and lock it in the car. do this as early as possible.. this works at his home too. lock the ape in his house early.. doesn't work if he has stay-at-home wife or kids. or burglar alarms etc. another .. this one was actually done to a soriety at the U of GA one time. a fraternity bought up all the crickets in a 100 mile radius (fish bait live crickets) and let em loose inside the soriety late one night... |
Why would he do that? It's not like he's in high school, which might be more acceptable considering high school students are morons. You could talk to his supervisor/manager about it. Get him fired or suspended. |
A little Fox OC spray and make sure you decontaminate your own hand afterwards. 
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Wait until he leaves his desk for a few minutes. Get into his email and send a message to his boss that professes your co-worker's manly love and how he has always found his boss to be sexually attractive. I would type it out ahead of time so it won't take too long to input. The best revenge? NAPALM!!!!!!!!!!! |
You have quite possibly the shittiest sense of humor since Hitler. |
Question: You've never worked in a Fire Dept / Police Dept / Military or any other Type-A personality job have you???? Suggestion: Don't. |
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The marketing manager has an office across from mine. He has a bigmouth and is always running it. He went on vacation for three days. While he was gone I took his door casing off and added some 1x2 to the door jam. Then I drywalled his door opening, skip textred to match,added baseboard and painted. wahla....like it was never there. He got back and walked around the corner and kinda freaked out. Him-" Where the fucks my door"...."Am I fired"...."Where's my office?" Me- "you didn't get the memo?....aw man...they didn't tell you?"  |
thats awesome! no one noticed u doing this...? |
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Put grease on the underside of the handle to his car. He wont see it, if you put it on the inside/underside part. But when he goes to open his door he'll get a nice surprise. Or wait untill he goes to the bath room, when he's in a stall get a few handfuls of TP, wet it. Peek over, and bomb him with it  . Or do both, the bathroom prank first so he'll think its all good. At the end of the day when its time to go home WHAM grease time.You SHOULD have pissed on him. (On the front of his pants to be exact so it'll look like he pissed himself). Once a coworker thought it'd be funny to lock another in a port-a-potty. So he is holding the door shut and crouched down sliding some wiring through the little lock thing on the door. The guy inside pushes on it and even though the locking area has wiring there is a small crack in the door. So he starts pissing through the crack and my coworker catches it IN HIS FACE. It took him about 2 or 3 seconds to realize what was spraying him... But by then he was COVERED in piss. |
You obviously don't work for the government. Matt |
Ya they noticed. I even gotta a little help. Kinda turned into a "Tom sawyer painting the fence" type thing. Everybody wanted in. The funny part was that they got it on video from when I started up to when he walked in. They are going to show it at the company Christmas party this year. I am the consruction manager for this company of 125 people and have been working there for 16 years and don't take any of his bullshit. He talks down to anybody that he thinks is below him and has already made alot of enemys. He has been there for 2 years. I have done other things to him since. |
You must either work for the Airlines or DMV........ |
Are you serious? |
Use cinnamon oil, trust me  If you have access to his car, crush some rice crispies and pour them in his defroster vents. crank the blower and put it on defrost. 
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Some people take life way to serious. |
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Go scan a copy of your license plate. Use Photoshop to change the letters to say "LUV DIK" or something like that. Print out a full size color copy of the plate. Laminate it and glue magnets to the back. When he's at work, go stick it on top of his regular license plate. Wait for all of his 'new friends' to show up Ed |
Well, I work in a professional environment. Business or casual business attire. No jeans or sneakers allowed. I don't work for the government but our client is a government agency. |
You still have to be able to have office fun even in a professional enviornment, I would never tattle on a co worker who decided to play a joke, just pay his ass back..... 
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