[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Homer Simpson (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 8/12/2006 11:00:57 PM EDT
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Loved the line last night... "Ooooh a 'Where's Waldo'.... Ohhhh but why do they have to have so many people in there!!!" What other Simpson-isms are there? 
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Every time I learn something new it pushes some old stuff outta my brain. Remember when I took that wine tasting lesson and I forgot how to drive? Remember when I took that wine tasting lesson and I forgot how to drive? Son, when a woman says nothing's wrong, it means everything's wrong. When a woman says everything's wrong, it means everything's wrong. And when a woman says that something *isn't* funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off! |
Dude... WTF is going on with you tonight?? I have a feeling someone left his computer on, and someone is else is screwing with his account... It's GOTTA be. 
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I like that one!!!
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"Alright, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me. But let's work together now and then I'll get back to slowly killing you with beer." -while talking to an insurance adjuster investigating Homer's car wreck- Insurance guy: "So what is this 'Moe's' you were at last night, Mr. Simpson?" Homer: (to self) Don't say a bar, don't say a bar. But what else is open at one o' clock in the morning? "It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography." (to self again) Niiiiiice. |
"Oooops, gotta go, Moe. My damn weiner kids are here" "DAAAAAD !!! WE ARE NOT WEINERSSSSSSS !!!!!!!. |
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Reverend Lovejoy: Homer, I'd like you to remember Matthew 7:26. "The foolish man who built his house upon the sand." Homer: [pointing a finger] And you remember [thinks] Homer: Matthew... 21:17. Reverend Lovejoy: [confused] "And he left them and went out of the city, into Bethany, and he lodged there?" Homer: Yeah. Think about it. [Lisa is worried about her science project] Homer: Lisa, all you need is a little help from your dad. Lisa: Well, we're supposed to do this without parental help. Homer: Sweetie, that's orphan talk. Homer: It's true, I'm a rageoholic! I just can't get enough RAGEOHOL! [cries] Homer: What are you two laughing at? And if you say Jimmy Fallon, I'll know you're lying! Marge: [to Bart] Now we have to find another school for you. Homer: And if you get kicked out of that one, you're going straight in the army, where you'll be sent straight to America's latest military quagmire. Where will it be? North Korea? Iran? Anything's possible with Commander Cuckoo-Bananas in charge. Lisa: That's Latin, Dad; the language of Plutarch. Homer: Mickey Mouse's dog? Homer: [playing poker, gagging and coughing up poker chips] Ew! Don't try to eat these so called "chips". Moe: Are you gonna take some cards, or not? Homer: Oh... heh, yeah. [takes four cards] Homer: D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! Er, I mean, "woohoo". Moe: I'm in. Lenny: I'm in. Carl: I'm in. Barney: I'm in. [belches] Homer: Aww, I was bluffing. [lays out cards] Moe: Ha, ha, ha! Come to papa! [takes chips and looks at cards] Moe: What? You have a straight flush, Homer! Ya do this *every* time! Arrrgh-eeengh-gah! Choking on my own rage here! Scott |
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Favorite Simpsons line: Bart is on a ride a long with the Springfirld Police. As he is riding in the back of a cruiser, they pass a seedy motel and Bart spots the mayor through a room window with a dame. Bart asks "Hey wasn't that mayor Quimby? What's he doing there?" The police officer up front says "He's polling the electorate." |
Adoption Agency: So Mr Simpson. why do you want to adopt this boy Homer's brain: Dont say revenge. Dont say revenge Homer: Uhhhh Revenge! Homer's brain: THATS IT! IM OUTTA HERE... (Sound of running foot steps, door slamming shut) |
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I don't remember the episode but Homer says "I need some fuel for my mule, and some grass for my ass" "Quit banging my wife!" And the all time best quote ever from Mr. Smithers to Mr. Burns. After Burns asks Smithers about woman in the military. "Personally sir, I don't think woman and seamen mix" |
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"I love you too, Pepsi" Don't say revenge, don't say revenge.....Revenge.......(brain)that's it I'm outta here! "Because it's a stupid piece of junk!..aaaaggghhhhh" "For the woman who only has 4/5ths of a second to get ready....the make up gun."(as Homer holds up a 12ga designed to dispurse make-up) |