Posted: 6/25/2006 10:53:22 AM EDT
Found this little guy and 2 of his brothers in my yard yesterday while mowing. Thought they were crickets at first. 
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I was surprised I found as many as I did. I was weeding the garden and spotted one. Caught him, looked and wondered for a bit, then let him go. Fast forward a couple of hours, I'm mowing the front yard. See something hopping around, it's the guy pictured above. Thirty minutes later, I find another in the front yard. I wonder how many fell prey to the mower? |
Really, all I'm afraid of is lightning, and frogs/toads. Once in Georgia I came home from work around 10 pm, and there were two toads on the mat by the front door, each about the size of my fist. There waas a tree frog stuck to the door jamb, right next to the key hole. I stood there a moment in terror and contemplated the situation... then went back to the car, where I spent the night in the driveway... 
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I never did like the suckers, but when I was in the 4th grade, I had my tonsils out. My sister presented me with a get well present, in a gift-wrapped shoebox. I opened it, and suddenly they were ALL OVER ME!!!  The little bitch had filled the shoebox with every f*ing toad she could find!!! I screamed in terror, which made the newly de-tonsilled throat feel LOVELY...I dislike spiders, and hate snakes... and am terrified of frogs and toads... |
Aw, I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I'm deathly afraid of cockroaches. Especially the ones that can fly. The first time I went to the Smithsonian, I was about 8 or 9. I don't remember the sequence of events that surrounds this (I conveniently blocked it from my memory), but we ended up in a place that you could look at live insects. Among them were these cockroaches that had been eating steroids all their lives. They were easily a foot long. The handler took a few of them out and put them on me, as I stood there in fear. I kept telling him to get them off me, but he and my father just stood there and laughed. I can handle most things, but those f***ers can all die in a fiery inferno as far as I'm concerned. 
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Ewwww! Even REGULAR SIZE cockroaches are NASTY... that had to have HORRIBLE! |
That reminds me of a classic Tonight Show event. Joan Embry from the San Diego Zoo was on with Johnny as she did every couple of months. She had a huge assed hard shell beetle with her, she was holding it and it was crawling up her arm. Johnny was leaning over the desk examining it and asked "Can they fly?". Joan didn't miss a beat and said "No, I don't think so." Johnny gives her a "Er? What?" look. Yeah... 2 seconds later the beetle opened up its carapace, sprouted wings and launched directly at Johnny sounding like a very angry hornet. Johnny screams, eyes get big as dinner plates and he starts diving out of the way of the Kamikaze beetle. I could tell from Joan's reaction that she really didn't think it could fly. I guess it dates me in the fact that I can remember this and that I saw it live when it happened. 
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Oh heeeeeelllll no. I'd have peed my pants and passed out. Not necessarily in that order.
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