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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Man Law (Page 1 of 2)

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5/31/2006 1:22:35 PM EDT
when two or more men agree, its becomes ManLaw. Also acceptable is two women agree with man, that become ManLaw.

So what man laws have you carved in stone today.





5/31/2006 1:24:10 PM EDT
[#1]
It's hot outside. Lovebugs suck. Kids must really enjoy pissing in public pools.
5/31/2006 1:25:50 PM EDT
[#2]
If you're on the beach, it's acceptable to float out into the ocean and take a dump if you don't feel like goin' back to your room.
5/31/2006 1:29:11 PM EDT
[#3]
Quoted:
If you're on the beach, it's acceptable to float out into the ocean and take a dump if you don't feel like goin' back to your room.


I agree, its ManLaw
5/31/2006 1:32:42 PM EDT
[#4]
How about this: It's mandatory to mow your lawn while enjoy a good brew.
5/31/2006 1:35:44 PM EDT
[#5]
How about this?  While it is generally required that a man allow a woman to get off the elevator first, when said woman is so fat that she cannot easily get around everyone else, it is acceptable for the men in front of said hippo to get off first.
5/31/2006 1:36:09 PM EDT
[#6]
Quoted:
If you're on the beach, it's acceptable to float out into the ocean and take a dump if you don't feel like goin' back to your room.


This is well supported by case law, yes.
5/31/2006 1:37:28 PM EDT
[#7]
Quoted:
Quoted:
If you're on the beach, it's acceptable to float out into the ocean and take a dump if you don't feel like goin' back to your room.


This is well supported by case law, yes.


What would be the minimum acceptable distance from shore?
5/31/2006 1:38:53 PM EDT
[#8]
Quoted:
How about this?  While it is generally required that a man allow a woman to get off the elevator first, when said woman is so fat that she cannot easily get around everyone else, it is acceptable for the men in front of said hippo to get off first.

\\

ManLaw
5/31/2006 1:40:04 PM EDT
[#9]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
If you're on the beach, it's acceptable to float out into the ocean and take a dump if you don't feel like goin' back to your room.


This is well supported by case law, yes.


What would be the minimum acceptable distance from shore?


I don't know ,but those little rascals sure pop to the surface in a hurry.
5/31/2006 1:40:30 PM EDT
[#10]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
If you're on the beach, it's acceptable to float out into the ocean and take a dump if you don't feel like goin' back to your room.


This is well supported by case law, yes.


What would be the minimum acceptable distance from shore?


Varies by terrain and law enforcement presence. Neck deep oughta do 'er.
5/31/2006 1:41:00 PM EDT
[#11]
Quoted:
It's hot outside. Lovebugs suck. Kids must really enjoy pissing in public pools.


Agree!
5/31/2006 1:43:42 PM EDT
[#12]
If it swells, your woman must ride it.
5/31/2006 1:45:06 PM EDT
[#13]
If they can expect us to put the seat DOWN when we are done using the toilet, it is just as reasonable for us to expect them to RAISE the seat when they are done using it.

It is EXACTLY the same effort.

If we can lift it for use, they can lower it for use.
5/31/2006 1:46:49 PM EDT
[#14]
If you are married and your wife isn't taking care of "Mr Happy" she must approve an alternate.
5/31/2006 1:50:14 PM EDT
[#15]
Whenever you are purchasing a new "black rifle" you must always purchase in pairs of two so that none of your beloved rifles ever get lonely. Likewise, you must always purchase at least 1000 rounds of ammunition for each rifle so as to prevent them from also becoming hungry. Lastly, each rifle will require at least ten 30-round USGI magazines.


I hereby make a motion to make this an ARFCOM ManLaw. Can I get a Second?
5/31/2006 1:51:46 PM EDT
[#16]
Quoted:
If you are married and your wife isn't taking care of "Mr Happy" she must approve an alternate.


AMEN!


And if you poke it you own it!
5/31/2006 1:53:20 PM EDT
[#17]
Quoted:
If you are married and your wife isn't taking care of "Mr Happy" she must approve an alternate.



agreed and done.  with one modification, she must apporve of an alternate, she gets no say in the choosing of the alternate.

TXL
5/31/2006 1:53:32 PM EDT
[#18]
Quoted:
If they can expect us to put the seat DOWN when we are done using the toilet, it is just as reasonable for us to expect them to RAISE the seat when they are done using it.

It is EXACTLY the same effort.

If we can lift it for use, they can lower it for use.


Somehow when I tried to explain that to a broad she didn't seem to be able to pick up the logic.
5/31/2006 1:54:33 PM EDT
[#19]
Quoted:
How about this: It's mandatory to mow your lawn while enjoy a good brew.


nay

you need to turn that around.
5/31/2006 1:54:41 PM EDT
[#20]
If you cant bang the bottom out of it, dont bang it at all.
5/31/2006 1:56:18 PM EDT
[#21]
Quoted:
If you are married and your wife isn't taking care of "Mr Happy" she must approve an alternate.



Second the motion.
5/31/2006 1:56:36 PM EDT
[#22]
Quoted:
Quoted:
If you're on the beach, it's acceptable to float out into the ocean and take a dump if you don't feel like goin' back to your room.


I agree, its ManLaw


Hope you do that when the tide is going out
5/31/2006 1:58:18 PM EDT
[#23]
If your S.O. finds it necessary to tell you to do something twice, the task automatically becomes her responsibility.
5/31/2006 1:59:34 PM EDT
[#24]
Any grilling activity performed by the male must be accompanied by an alcoholic beverage.

Anything tasting even remotely like a fruit does not count.
5/31/2006 2:01:18 PM EDT
[#25]
Quoted:
 

And if you poke it you own it!


NEGATIVE, not MANLAW
5/31/2006 2:01:36 PM EDT
[#26]
Thou shalt not covet thy buddies guns!  Thou will simply go and buy a gun like it.
5/31/2006 2:01:37 PM EDT
[#27]
If you want to tell the officer at the police checkpoint to blow you with impunity, then it is so.
5/31/2006 2:04:37 PM EDT
[#28]
Quoted:
Quoted:
If you are married and your wife isn't taking care of "Mr Happy" she must approve an alternate.



agreed and done.  with one modification, she must apporve of an alternate, she gets no say in the choosing of the alternate.

TXL


By approve I mean she has no grounds for complaint, I was not suggesting she would factor in the selection process.
5/31/2006 7:03:03 PM EDT
[#29]
Quoted:
Whenever you are purchasing a new "black rifle" you must always purchase in pairs of two so that none of your beloved rifles ever get lonely. Likewise, you must always purchase at least 1000 rounds of ammunition for each rifle so as to prevent them from also becoming hungry. Lastly, each rifle will require at least ten 30-round USGI magazines.


I hereby make a motion to make this an ARFCOM ManLaw. Can I get a Second?


BIG second, I practic this before manlaw
5/31/2006 7:08:54 PM EDT
[#30]
Quoted:
Quoted:
If you are married and your wife isn't taking care of "Mr Happy" she must approve an alternate.



agreed and done.  with one modification, she must apporve of an alternate, she gets no say in the choosing of the alternate.

TXL
+1 It's Law!!!
5/31/2006 7:18:49 PM EDT
[#31]
If your woman refuses to watch a Clint Eastwood movie, you are absolved in perpetuity from ever watching a chick flick again.

If she vocally disparages The Outlaw Josey Wales, you should depart for a boy's weekend in Las Vegas or Blackwater at your earliest convenience.
5/31/2006 7:21:45 PM EDT
[#32]
What about Manbearpig Law?
5/31/2006 7:47:42 PM EDT
[#33]
Quoted:
If you are married and your wife isn't taking care of "Mr Happy" she must approve an alternate.


I agree

<--------
5/31/2006 7:48:05 PM EDT
[#34]
^^     backs out slowly    
5/31/2006 7:57:15 PM EDT
[#35]
Quoted:
Quoted:
If you are married and your wife isn't taking care of "Mr Happy" she must approve an alternate.



Second the motion.


The motion is carried.
5/31/2006 7:59:30 PM EDT
[#36]
Quoted:
Also acceptable is two women agree with man, that becomes ManLaw.


Isn't that called a threesome?
5/31/2006 8:02:21 PM EDT
[#37]
Quoted:
If you want to tell the officer at the police checkpoint to blow you with impunity, then it is so.



I think you are on your own on that one.
5/31/2006 8:14:55 PM EDT
[#38]
No talking while in the bathroom and not even any eye contact at the urinal.
5/31/2006 8:22:51 PM EDT
[#39]
If your S.O. finds it necessary to tell you to do something twice, the task automatically becomes her responsibility.


Up for vote new manlaw;

It is against ManLaw to refer to to a female as a  S.O aka Significant Other. ManLaw does not allow the potential confusion of thinking your a homosexual.

As ammendments I would also like to put up a vote on banning such phrases when refering to a female partner as;

Significant Other
Life Partner
Domestic Partner
Civil Partner
Civl Union
Registered Partnership
5/31/2006 8:27:04 PM EDT
[#40]
Quoted:
Quoted:
 

And if you poke it you own it!


NEGATIVE, not MANLAW


I second the motion to strike said MANLAW down.

I want nothing to do with many things I have poked in the past
5/31/2006 8:34:25 PM EDT
[#41]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
 

And if you poke it you own it!


NEGATIVE, not MANLAW


I second the motion to strike said MANLAW down.

I want nothing to do with many things I have poked in the past


Boy no kidding.  If "ya bone it ya own" isn't a woman's law, what is?
5/31/2006 8:34:39 PM EDT
[#42]
Quoted:
No talking while in the bathroom and not even any eye contact at the urinal.


I second that motion
5/31/2006 8:35:36 PM EDT
[#43]
Quoted:
If they can expect us to put the seat DOWN when we are done using the toilet, it is just as reasonable for us to expect them to RAISE the seat when they are done using it.

It is EXACTLY the same effort.

If we can lift it for use, they can lower it for use.

I agree! ManLaw
5/31/2006 8:48:32 PM EDT
[#44]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Also acceptable is two women agree with man, that becomes ManLaw.


Isn't that called a threesome?


yes, that why its ManLaw
5/31/2006 10:51:03 PM EDT
[#45]
Quoted:
If your S.O. finds it necessary to tell you to do something twice, the task automatically becomes her responsibility.


Up for vote new manlaw;

It is against ManLaw to refer to to a female as a  S.O aka Significant Other. ManLaw does not allow the potential confusion of thinking your a homosexual.

As ammendments I would also like to put up a vote on banning such phrases when refering to a female partner as;

Significant Other
Life Partner
Domestic Partner
Civil Partner
Civl Union
Registered Partnership




Agreed.  ManLaw.
5/31/2006 10:53:31 PM EDT
[#46]
When a man is using the bathroom, he is busy. It is NOT a good time for the wife/gf to enter and start a conversation. The door has a lock but I shouldn't have to use it.
5/31/2006 11:07:41 PM EDT
[#47]
Quoted:
When a man is using the bathroom, he is busy. It is NOT a good time for the wife/gf to enter and start a conversation. The door has a lock but I shouldn't have to use it.


That is when you stand up mid-pinch, let the excess drop on the floor and go mow the lawn with a beer, regardless of weather.
5/31/2006 11:14:34 PM EDT
[#48]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
 

And if you poke it you own it!


NEGATIVE, not MANLAW


I second the motion to strike said MANLAW down.

I want nothing to do with many things I have poked in the past


I think that was a reference to the beer commercial about carrying multiple beers back to the table and doing so while putting your fingers into the bottle. a la "you poke it, you own it"
5/31/2006 11:18:43 PM EDT
[#49]
Tofu SHALL NOT be served at any American BBQ.

Light Beers are deemed ok, but must be drank in the quanity of twice as much to match regular beer.
5/31/2006 11:38:11 PM EDT
[#50]
Contraception is STILL a woman's responsibility.
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