[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Poo question (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 4/28/2006 8:47:36 PM EDT
| How long does it take for solid food to make the journey from one end to the other, on average? |
normal 24 hours i guess, i crap yestersdays dinner before breakfast. 
Think I will do that 24 hours before I go see Dr Jellyfinger... 
|
After I surfed the Tech forums I posted this without surveying GD for other poo threads; I am sorry if I am contributing to the general crepidation. But I know there arew some docs here and I really wanted to know the answer. You will be a human all your life; don't you think it is a good idea to know how your body works? |
|
OK Then since it is going to be a poo night... let me rehash my poo poo gods story. Ever on the road about 20-30 minutes away from home... your stomach starts turning from a case of IBS and you think that your ass is about to explode. You then pray to the poo poo gods asking them for leniency. You make a deal with them "All I NEED is 20 minutes... PLEASE just give me 20 minutes" MIRACULOUSLY your stomach pains subside giving you the acknowledgement from the poo poo gods that they have accepted your plea. You look at the clock and it is 1:05 and you think to yourself you have until 1:25 until the poo poo gods make good on their deal. Now ... UH OH! What is this? TRAFFIC??? NOW?? AT 1:12?? No.... NO.... NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! You can feel the percolation process going on in your intestine priming you for volcanic eruption. But you say to yourself... NO!!! WE MADE A DEAL... and once again the bubbling subsides 1:15... traffic starts to flow... problem is now your calculate your arrival at 1:29... NOT going to work... must accelerate!! You are swerving you are gunning it towards home and praying for renegotiations. poo poo gods say "Sorry bud but a deal is a deal... poo check out time is 1:25" and it is NOW 1:20 and you are STILL 9 minutes from home. You are driving as fast as you can... get to your off ramp and look at the clock... NOOOO!!! it changes to 1:25 and your ass is shaking, gut is wrenching and you yell "HEY!!! IT IS ONLY 1:25!! I HAVE UNTIL 1:26 BEFORE YOU CAN CASH IN!!!!" Poo poo gods are saying "We know... just getting ready for launch." You notice the vast amounts of sweat on your face and neck as you start to shake and the dreaded moment arrives... you look at your clock and.... 1:25... 1:25...1:25...1:25...1:25...1:25...1 : 2 6! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! You quickly arch your back straight like you are on a paramedic back board... straight as an arrow... butt cheeks clenched and the poo poo gods are fighting for their bounty. You now say "PLEEASE!!! ALL GREEN LIGHTS!!!!!" and you are shaking so bad that Cal-Tech is picking something up on the Richter scale and the epicenter is your ass! You are quickly coming up with an exit strategy from your car, through the door and into the bathroom. The sweat from your face has now expelled at about 4 quarts and you turn the corner... pull into your driveway... You stop your car at a 45 degree angle by your backdoor. You ROLL out of your car not releasing the mighty buns of steel... and RUN to the bathroom. You are greeted by the loving eyes of your children with such admiration for you and the joyus faces to see you home from such a long day without you and all you can say is "GET THE HECK OUT OF THE WAY!!!!!" You get to the bathroom. drop trou and as you drop to the toilet seat, your ass lets go and the poo hits the water at such intense propulsion BEFORE your ass even gets to the seat. IF you are lucky, you dont get water-raped splashback on your ass... but chances of upward rain is HIGHLY likely. You sit and shake because of your ass tensing up for the last 6 minutes you just sit there, KNOWING you have beaten the poo poo gods once again. |
