My wife started puking the minute she got the epidural and puked non stop from then on...First one we had to change gears and do a last minute C-section because we objected to heavy use of the forceps..My skull is slightly lopsided and my Mom says it was because of forceps.  After that it was C-section for the next 2 kids.

Be mentally ready for it to not go as planned-caesarian,etc.  My wife was a 1week late and spent hours at 1cm dilation,and eventually had to get a caesarian for our first. I have pictures of my bloody child being pulled out of her guts. If you're used to blood (if you're a hunter or EMT for example) it's not bad.
Patty's advice about not holding her hand is spot on. My wife normally can't grip me painfully. After several hours of useless labor (not even real pushing) my hand was sore and bruised from her grip.

Quoted: Quoted: I would prefer a dads perspective on what they see the wife going through honestly. No offense to thre ladies I'm actually enjoying the Dad's perspective.  One peice of advice given to my husband in hindsight was probably good.  Once Mother starts pushing DO NOT HOLD HER HAND!   Patty

LOL well he got my opinion anyway ...

My husband was too busy holding my leg, my hands were wrapped around the bed rail, they hurt for days after, I was holding it so tight. Oh, and I burst the blood vesels in my eyes or something, they were bright red for a couple of days after, I looked like I'd been in a fight.

Quoted: My wife started puking the minute she got the epidural and puked non stop from then on...First one we had to change gears and do a last minute C-section because we objected to heavy use of the forceps..My skull is slightly lopsided and my Mom says it was because of forceps.  After that it was C-section for the next 2 kids.

Actually thats probably just a natural feature of your head.  

Forceps can leave marks, usually soft tissue.  Bone marks are unusual because your bones are not hard and very pliable during birth.

I think you were just meant to have a lopsided head.

My wife had a baby 3 months ago and she looked very uncomfortable during the labor... okay it looked painful as hell.  To be in that much pain for so long really took its toll on my wife's usual humor so I kept my mouth shut.  I always heard that if men had to give birth human race would have gone to zero population and dies out thousands of years ago.

BTW.  my wife told me several times that she was amazed that she had forgotten all about the labor pain within just minutes of giving birth and within days she could not even remember what the pain was like.  About 2 weeks after the birth we were talking about having having another one.    
 

Delivering my daughter wasn't so bad.. I had to be induced because she was late and not showing many signs of coming very soon.

They put in an internal monitor so I could see the strength of the contractions.  At about 40 they started to hurt.  Roughly then was when I got my epidural.  My contractions topped out on the monitor at about 157.  I can only imagine the level of pain that would have been!!  Considering it was almost 4 times the strength of where they actually started to hurt a little.

And Ardenner.. Until you have a baby.. shush about the epidural and what you feel is or isn't right.

I started pushing at 7 pm, my daughter was out at 7:36 pm.

I had a midwife tell me once that the best way to picture a woman in labor is to compare her to how she reacts in traffic.  If she's a curser/shouter/finger thrower she'll probably scream and etc.  {I had one screaming when I had my last son and it took almost as much energy giving birth to my 9 lb 11 oz Watermelon as it did not to get up and smack the woman!}.  

My youngest child is my 3rd and my husband's first.  I tried to prepare him as much as possible by telling him that I'm a control freak [] and that everything has to be my way.  I don't scream or holler or get upset [which ended up being a lie, I did get upset] and that he was really just there for moral support.  

I wouldn't go into labor on my own [I never did with any of my kids.  I think I'd still be pregnant with the first if they hadn't induced me].  So I was induced and we walked and walked and walked and no labor started.  David was a wreck by the time they hooked me up to the pit so I sent him to the bar for a drink.  A word of warning, women in labor have abnormal senses while in labor.  When my husband came back he was calmer but he smelt like he had been marinated in scotch.  It about drove me nuts but I made myself ignore it.   The pit made my contractions really hard and fast and that wore on me.  I couldn't walk around any longer so I had to sit in bed.  The hubby watched Green Acres Marathon on the TV and to this day the opening song irritates me [but I ignored it, didn't complain].  My contractions weren't really dilating me so things were progressing very slowly.  After about 4 hours on the Pit I was having a difficult time keeping relaxed and asked for an epidural.  The nurse checked me and I had only dilated to 2 and she told me that I needed to wait until I was at 4 before they started it.  I grabbed her by her shirt pulled her down to my face and told her that I didn't care if she thought I was the biggest wimp in the world I needed something and I needed NOW"  I can still recall the bugged out expression on my husband's face and the nurses.  David tried to comfort me and remind me that I didn't want to upset her and evidently my facial expression at the time was enough to get him to STFU.

My exploit with the nurse worked because she gave me a happy shot.  I have no idea what it was {I'm allergic to Demerol} but it just took the edge off enough that I could focus on what I was doing and I was fully dilated about 20 minutes later.  

Anyway, I know you wanted the man's side of things.  I tried to be pretty sympathetic to my husband.  I couldn't imagine watching him go through the amount of pain involved.  I think from that perspective it is harder on the man than the woman.  {No, its not!}  David was very good and I never once threaten to cut his sack.  [Of course I did send him to the vet afterwards to be fixed].

My advice is to be thicked skinned.  If you took Lamaze the breathing exercises do work so practice them and keep them going.  If they don't seem to be helping go to a higher level [IIRC there's 4 levels].  Try to stay home as long as possible [until the contractions are about 5 minutes apart].  It is easier and nicer to labor at home [if you don't live a long way].  

Try to keep her distracted and try to motivate her to stay up right [in a rocking chair at the very least] or walking.  

When I had my 2nd child we had a hot tub in our birthing room.  That was very nice to labor in.

Patty

yobo your wife is amazing!

Have your wife drink RASPBERRY LEAF TEA.

1st one w/o the tea- ~ 24 hours of labor, 45 minutes of pushing- no drugs

2nd one w/o tea- ~24 hours of labor, 20 minutes of pushing- epideral

3rd one with tea ~ 7 hours of labor, 4 pushes- epideral when she was at 9cm, basically no drugs.

Start drinking the tea as she is getting close to her due date.  The tea does not induce labor, but may tone uterus walls to give better contractions and faster deliveries.

First one was a c-section... piece of cake.

I'll find out tomorrow what "real" labor is. Scheduled induction tomorrow.

.....or you could do the kiddie pool natural child birth.
Neice on my wifes side is a proponent, lectures on this and her 3 children were born this way.

Quoted: First one was a c-section... piece of cake. I'll find out tomorrow what "real" labor is. Scheduled induction tomorrow.

Ooooh! Good luck!




I did the raspberry leaf tea thing AND the evening primrose. Didn't make me go into labor, but my hair and skin were fantastic!

Quoted: You are about to find out just how tough your wife really is... I have never looked at my wife the same since.

Yup. That pretty much sums it up.

My wife did an excellent job. She was the one in control most of the time. They ended up doing it HER way.

I remember that as soon as the head started to show, I felt a little queasy. The nurse noticed it... I'm sure the blood drained from my face... she told me to sit down and she had someone bring me some apple juice. A minute later I was OK, and I had taken my wife's leg so the midwife could strip the membrane and do the delivery.

My son's head appeared, and... this is the Linda Blair moment... it seemed to spin around as his body rotated inside her to a better position. I looked at his face, and it appeared that he, too, was in the fight of his life. I said to my wife, "Keep pushing, Baby! He's beautiful!" The nurse and the midwife both stopped for a second and looked at me like "WTF??" and went right back to it.

He was 10 pounds. Huge. He was too big for the scale. I know I have pics somewhere. He was born with a full head of hair, and HUGE hands. I think it was the gestational diabetes that made him grow so much. He's still a big boy, and very healthy. A bruiser, indeed! He's going to be some sort of kick-ass hero when he grows up.

My wife and I have a due date of 7/21 for our first.

Honestly, the whole delivery room thing scares the hell out of me.

I'm thinking about doing it the old school way.....in the lobby with a scotch and cigar.

God damn.

I'm glad I haven't made a woman preggers yet after reading this.  God damn.

How cool is this... I'm surfing the web from the labor and delivery room. If this isn't proof thatI'm an internet junkie I don't know what is.

Wife is 3-4cm dialated. She got her epidoral and life is good. We've been here since 8am... they could even get started until 12:30 because her dumb-ass OB clinic doctor couldn't get her shit together and fax one simple piece of paper the L&D folks needed.

That's about it for now. We're kind of expecting him to be born on 04-05-06... cool birthday...

mroe later... I'll post again while she's pushing and give a blow by blow.

Quoted: How cool is this... I'm surfing the web from the labor and delivery room. If this isn't proof thatI'm an internet junkie I don't know what is. Wife is 3-4cm dialated. She got her epidoral and life is good. We've been here since 8am... they could even get started until 12:30 because her dumb-ass OB clinic doctor couldn't get her shit together and fax one simple piece of paper the L&D folks needed. That's about it for now. We're kind of expecting him to be born on 04-05-06... cool birthday... mroe later... I'll post again while she's pushing and give a blow by blow.

please DON'T post pics

(but congrats!)

#1 Long labor,narcotics and  epidural, miserable stuck in the bed couldn't move but I didn't really know I had any other options...

#2 Used a doula - would never birth again without a doula and hubby agrees.  The doula did a great job of keeping me focused on what I wanted this time.  No narcotics because they just make me feel weird and avoid an epi if possible. The doula helped hubby, was his back up so he didn't feel so overwhelmed.  Baby was breech so I ended up with an epidural in case they did a C-Section.  They didn't, I hated the epidural because it slowed things down so much but I don't think I could have delivered her breech with the doc practically crawling inside w/o it :)  

#3 Induced due to hypertension - pitocin and balloon cath but no pain meds.  Shorter labor.  Better labor.  Used a doula, also.  

#4  Using doula in Oct.

My advice:  Keep her moving, changing positions until the epi is in if she decides to have it.  If you can get her in the water it really helps with the contractions.  

and if she has a "birth plan" you can plan on that changing -MrsMonk

Quoted: How cool is this... I'm surfing the web from the labor and delivery room. If this isn't proof thatI'm an internet junkie I don't know what is. Wife is 3-4cm dialated. She got her epidoral and life is good. We've been here since 8am... they could even get started until 12:30 because her dumb-ass OB clinic doctor couldn't get her shit together and fax one simple piece of paper the L&D folks needed. That's about it for now. We're kind of expecting him to be born on 04-05-06... cool birthday... mroe later... I'll post again while she's pushing and give a blow by blow.

OMG! Don't be posting while she's pushing!
Right before and immediately after will be sufficient.

Good luck!

Only slightly off topic-the part I think I should throw my .02 in about is breastfeeding. If it doesn't go well, find a breast-feeding consultant, (can't remember what they are called) who knows what they are doing and is reccomended by others. When we had our son, the people at the hospital were worse than useless. Much worse.

When we sought help from soneone who knew what they were doing, we found out that the reason our darling little boy was sleeping so much was that he wasn't getting enough milk and his body was shutting down to conserve energy

Do not be afraid to use a bottle to get a baby started off if there is any question about how well his feeding is going. Even if things are working well, having someone coach you can be a great experience and and help get things of to a good start.

Cake walk . Stand around have a few smokes , drink a few beers .


*Prays she doesn't read this one .*




Honestly best advice is stand by her side and hold her hand , it might or might not hurt ,stay calm no matter what is going on . Purple,son not breathing ? Stay calm  or she will freak .Six years later he is fineish .;)


The bonus to standing by her side is you don't get splattered in the face with unbelievable arc of blood that sprays across the room and leaves a 14 foot trail across the wall and ceiling .

Quoted: You are about to find out just how tough your wife really is... I have never looked at my wife the same since.

You also stop bragging about how big your dick is also .

Don't look at...it. I'm telling you, don't do it. Birth is a nasty, nasty thing......

Quoted: Only slightly off topic-the part I think I should throw my .02 in about is breastfeeding. If it doesn't go well, find a breast-feeding consultant, (can't remember what they are called) who knows what they are doing and is reccomended by others. When we had our son, the people at the hospital were worse than useless. Much worse. When we sought help from soneone who knew what they were doing, we found out that the reason our darling little boy was sleeping so much was that he wasn't getting enough milk and his body was shutting down to conserve energyhock.gif Do not be afraid to use a bottle to get a baby started off if there is any question about how well his feeding is going. Even if things are working well, having someone coach you can be a great experience and and help get things of to a good start.

Lactation Consultant

Sometimes you do have to go through a few to find a good one.  


-MrsMonk

Labor is good.  It's Management that's fucking evil.

I took my wife to the hospital and 5 minutes later my son was born.  No pain killers for her and her

doctor didn't get there until after the kid popped out.  She never screamed or cursed or anything,

just alot of " I think he's coming out, I can feel his head coming out!" all rather softly.  I found out

that day all the movies are full of shit.  Yelling and screaming is not always the norm.

Quoted: How cool is this... I'm surfing the web from the labor and delivery room. If this isn't proof thatI'm an internet junkie I don't know what is. Wife is 3-4cm dialated. She got her epidoral and life is good. We've been here since 8am... they could even get started until 12:30 because her dumb-ass OB clinic doctor couldn't get her shit together and fax one simple piece of paper the L&D folks needed. That's about it for now. We're kind of expecting him to be born on 04-05-06... cool birthday... mroe later... I'll post again while she's pushing and give a blow by blow.

Cool.  Hand her the keyboard - let's get her perspective!

Maybe he'll be born at 01:02:03 04-05-06.

Seriously... good luck!

Do 12-14 hours of sit-ups and then piss a golf ball.  Nothing to it.

Seriously, your wife will do fine like women have for ages.  Your job is to be there and support her.  You are about to experience the greatest thing in life.  Just remember that they call it labor for a reason.

Sigh.

Quoted: Sigh.

Quoted: I am about a month out from my first kid being born (little girl). Due date is the 27th. We just did the lamzee (sp?) class saturday and i am wondering just how bad can labor really be? My wife is all about the epidural and i ahve had a ton of deep painful reconstructive surgeries in my baxck and stomach areas so i know a thing or two about pain. What i am wondering is if TV plays it up or if it is going to be a hairpulling screaming and bitching deal?

Stuff a bowling ball up your ass.

Now pass it.