Would you tell your friend? - Page 2

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Posted: 3/28/2006 5:50:24 PM EDT

[#1]

Not my business.

Posted: 3/28/2006 5:50:28 PM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
Honesty is best. He will have to deal with it some day. Might as well be now. Get it all out. Don't say it in front of her or when she is within a 1 hour drive.

Sounds like a story waiting to get out.

Posted: 3/28/2006 6:12:37 PM EDT

[#3]

Couple of things to clear up.

He's Catholic, and I just don't think divorce is an option, or it would have happened last summer.

First, once he was "caught", and I'm not entirely sure how that happened, he did everything to try to fix what was done. I believe it was a one time/ or short time thing last summer. He moved back into the house shortly before Christmas.

His daughters will hardly speak to him because they blame him for what happened, and his wife is all to willing to vilify him.

I would be absolutely blown over if she ever did anything outside of their marriage before his cheating, although, I'm totally blown away by this revelation. I beleive that her fling happened during the separation, but it was not just one night, according to my friend who witnessed her in the bar many nights.

As to tell him or not, I just don't think it is my place. He probably knows, and in my opinion, it would hurt more if I found out my friends knew too. We have a common friend, who he is closer to, but I know I'm not going to tell him either.

I'm just trying to see this from his perspective. I hate the fact that she is making him feel like such a low life, and acting so rightious. It just made me think what would I want from my friends, and I just don't know. With that, I'm going to just keep it to myself.

Posted: 3/28/2006 6:12:47 PM EDT

[#4]

He probably deserves to know..but I would need more proof than what you offered before I'd say anything. If it happened with one of his "friends", he might already know.
Plus, if the had a true reconciliation, she may have confessed already. (or not

)

IMHO, you don't know enough to get involved.

Posted: 3/28/2006 7:12:32 PM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:
Yes...Tell on the lying, cheating, scank whore!!!

He deserves to know. Not just have his friends talk about it behind his back.
If you found out...you can bet somebody else knows and sooner or later it'll get back to him.
And if she has'nt been putting out for 5 years she's been cheating for 5 years...WORD!!
I don't even know the bitch but she deserves to be stoned. In front of her children. Why should he give a shit if the children know or not it's apparent she didn't give a rats ass or she would have keep her ass home making sammichs and fucking her 'ol man. Or better yet she should have divorced his ass...{edit for i don't want all of ARFCOM to know my true feelings on the subject}

Fucking Whores!!!!

im with you dude... 187%

Posted: 3/28/2006 7:15:04 PM EDT

[#6]

He deserves to know.

JMO.

Good luck.

SG

Posted: 3/28/2006 7:17:07 PM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:
Only if he asks you. Otherwise, keep it to yourself.

Great advice, besides, how do you know she didn't already tell him? Some people keep personal things personal.

Posted: 3/28/2006 7:17:50 PM EDT

[#8]

It's really not your business to meddle in their affairs, so let it go. It'll come out eventually, and you don't want to have a hand in it when it does.

Posted: 3/28/2006 7:26:52 PM EDT

[#9]

Like others said, it's not your business.

If it happened during a separation, it's also not his business.

Posted: 3/28/2006 7:49:27 PM EDT

[#10]

Live Your Life,,,,and they will live theres

Hopefully

Posted: 3/28/2006 9:09:22 PM EDT

[#11]

What would you want HIM to do if YOU were in HIS shoes?

Would you want someone to tell you that the woman who hadn't shown you any affection in FIVE YEARS had jumped in the sack with someone else the minute she could justify it to herself?

Posted: 3/28/2006 9:13:22 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
Leave the gossip to the ladies.

+1

Posted: 3/29/2006 5:45:41 AM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
What would you want HIM to do if YOU were in HIS shoes?

Would you want someone to tell you that the woman who hadn't shown you any affection in FIVE YEARS had jumped in the sack with someone else the minute she could justify it to herself?

This is the part that gets me. Would I want to know? Actually yes, I a sick kind of guy, who likes self-inflicted wounds; and I know it would ruin me if I found out something like that.

I really think this might be a case of if you don't know, it won't hurt you.

Posted: 3/29/2006 5:46:56 AM EDT

[#14]

Stay out of it

or, if she's hot, invite her home for a 3 way with the wife.

Posted: 3/29/2006 6:00:15 AM EDT

[#15]

Of course you should tell him.

Posted: 3/29/2006 6:03:09 AM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
i didnt read the whole thread, but i say

NO WAY NO WAY NO WAY!

especially if you are friends with both of them. fucking up their relationship is one thing...

The relationship is already fucked up., The husband deserves to know the truth.

Posted: 3/29/2006 6:07:53 AM EDT

[#17]

Is she hot? Pictures?

Posted: 3/29/2006 6:07:54 AM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
It's really not your business to meddle in their affairs, so let it go.

You have an obligation to your friends. Part of that obligation is to protect them from harm/deception.

You are no friend at all if you would withhold this information from your friend.

Posted: 3/29/2006 7:19:57 AM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Like others said, it's not your business.

If it happened during a separation, it's also not his business.

It is his business. Separation is not divorce. Also if he "is now under lock and key of his wife" it would make it even more of his business. She is lording his one mistake over his head to keep him repressed, yet her infidelity may not even be known to the man. That is a huge double standard.

Posted: 3/29/2006 7:34:55 AM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
What would you want HIM to do if YOU were in HIS shoes?

Would you want someone to tell you that the woman who hadn't shown you any affection in FIVE YEARS had jumped in the sack with someone else the minute she could justify it to herself?

You bet your ass I would. I wouldn't want to waste one more minute with the skank. Not one. I couldn't imagine anything worse in this situation than finding out years later what went down.

Posted: 3/29/2006 7:38:40 AM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
Quoted:
It's really not your business to meddle in their affairs, so let it go.

You have an obligation to your friends. Part of that obligation is to protect them from harm/deception.

You are no friend at all if you would withhold this information from your friend.

Absolutely.

This thread is a great example of why, as I get older, I keep more and more to myself. Friendship and manhood means next to nothing to most these days.

As I have said before, too many pussified losers raised by their mommies with a fucked up sense of integrity, decency and what it is to be a man. Not surprised, just disappointed.

Posted: 3/29/2006 7:40:36 AM EDT

[#22]

Would you want your buddy to tell you -if the shoe was on the other foot?

Posted: 3/29/2006 7:41:56 AM EDT

[#23]

I'd tell if both are your friends.

Posted: 3/29/2006 7:50:43 AM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:
Would you want your buddy to tell you -if the shoe was on the other foot?

Exactly.
Or would you rather find out 3 years from now that all of your "friends" knew but just didn't have the balls to tell you. Not much in the way of friends, huh?

Of course by that time maybe she would have passed on a few STDs, spent all your money, ran up 8 credit cards and had time to set you up for all kinds of accusations in order to prevent you from seeing your own kids or having the RKBA, etc.

There does not appear to much in the way of integrity left in the people of this country anymore. That goes for the friend as well by cheating on his wife but he still deserves to know, unless he's not really your friend and is in fact someone you despise who deserves what he gets.

Some of you call yourselves men?

ILMAOAAOY.

Posted: 3/29/2006 10:35:20 AM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
Quoted:
What would you want HIM to do if YOU were in HIS shoes?

Would you want someone to tell you that the woman who hadn't shown you any affection in FIVE YEARS had jumped in the sack with someone else the minute she could justify it to herself?

You bet your ass I would. I wouldn't want to waste one more minute with the skank. Not one. I couldn't imagine anything worse in this situation than finding out years later what went down.

Damned right.

Posted: 3/29/2006 10:43:40 AM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
Not my business.

Quoted:
It's really not your business to meddle in their affairs, so let it go.

Wow. I would have thought the ladies would have felt differently.
You learn something new everyday.

Posted: 3/29/2006 11:45:01 AM EDT

[#27]

It's probably best to just stay out of it. Sounds like he did some cheating himself, so what's fair for one should be fair for the other. It's her place to tell him, not yours. Your telling him could possibly make matters worse for them. I wouldn't count on this marriage to last anyway now that trust has been broken. Ask me how I know.

Posted: 3/29/2006 11:55:24 AM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Not my business.

Quoted:
It's really not your business to meddle in their affairs, so let it go.

Wow. I would have thought the ladies would have felt differently.
You learn something new everyday.

I'm not surprised at all. No offense to the ladies but everything about the female side of our society is about avoiding conflict and that tolerance bullshit. Sadly over the past 2 generations they have inundated that into the male side of society. Not much honor and integrity left these days as a result. Another two generations and there are going to be nothing BUT pussies left in theis country. Right now I'd say it is 50/50. Even that is sad and pathetic.

Posted: 3/29/2006 9:46:03 PM EDT

[#29]

Actually my take was it would have been different for the ladies if it was the wife who didn't know about the husband cheating.....

I agree with the last few, what kind of a friend would keep something that important from him?

Posted: 3/29/2006 10:16:29 PM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:
~snip~
Today, I found out that someone I know saw his wife at the bar with one of his friends "a while ago". He took her home. My other friend said that she had been drunk many times at this same bar, and was all over every guy in the place.

I believe that this was during their separation. Would you tell him? I am of the opinion that I will just let it go. I don't want things to get ugly again, after they have gotten back together, even if she is a crazy bitch.

If I was sure these people were unmistaken, I'd suggest he talk to them. You didn't see anything. I wouldn't say anything specific if I didn't see it. What happens if the wife and the guy deny it and no one backs your story? I learned long ago not to get into 'he said, she said' arguments.