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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - You are not a man if... (Page 2 of 2)

Posted: 3/21/2006 7:00:08 AM EDT

[#1]

Quoted:
- cannot grease your own muffler bearings.

BC

That's almost as bad as not doing the 3000 mile maintenance on your car's henway.

Posted: 3/21/2006 7:01:31 AM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
Quoted:
- cannot grease your own muffler bearings.

BC

That's almost as bad as not doing the 3000 mile maintenance on your car's henway.

Posted: 3/21/2006 7:04:51 AM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Let's hear it... here I mine:

-you see a "stylist" not a barber
-your hairgel budget is larger than your ammo budget
-you get manicures/pedicures
-wear pink shirts
-know all the latest fashion trends
-watch "queer eye for the straight guy" for reasons other than making fun of it
-Frequent a coffee shot for the "frapecupisosfa"

There's more, but yea... I'm jaded about metros and why girls go for them so lets hear it!

I guess I'm not a "man".

Well, self actualization is important.

Posted: 3/21/2006 7:07:01 AM EDT

[#4]

My sister in law cuts my hair, she was a hairstylist before she quit working to raise my nephews.

When she still was a stylist she wanted me to go to the beauty shop she worked at to get my hair cut. Several of the stylists there were pink shirt wearing men. And I don’t mean the kind of man who is so uber manly that they can safely wear pink, I’m talking about the “other” kind.

Needless to say I wasn’t exactly thrilled with the idea. But my sister in law (God bless her) knew a way to make it worth my while. She would have one of the ultra hot young shampoo girls wash my hair before she cut it. That made the whole thing worthwhile.

Posted: 3/21/2006 7:07:59 AM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:
Quoted:
If you pay attention to other men to the point where you actually CARE about what they're wearing or where they get their hair cut...

Being a "real man" requires one to be a bit self-absorbed.
It has nothing to do with paying attention to others.
It's about maintaining standards.

That's right. We have a certain standard that must be kept, lest the future of humanity fall into the incompetent, fragile (but well manicured) hands of "those guys".

Posted: 3/21/2006 7:09:04 AM EDT

[#6]

real men don't eat quiche
Real Men Eat Pain For Lunch

1. Men chase women. This the number one rule and one we just can't (biologically) ignore. It defines us. Get used to it.

2. Men are into sports. The more dangerous the better. Contact sports like soccer and football are good, but death-defying sports like Nascar racing are better. Why? You got speed and death in one package. What real man wouldn't like that? (Think shark-hunting,) Remember: We used to be hunter-gatherers and still like the thrill of the chase. (See Number One above.)

3. Men create things. Don't act so surprised. How do you think the axe and the wheel came along? Men have an inate need to make tools so that we can have something to hang from our belts now that taking scalps is looked down on.

4. Men know when to talk and when to shut up. That means you talk when you need to get into them drawers. Otherwise, keep your mouth shut and also pretend to be hard of hearing.

Example: When you're asked stupid questions like "Do I look fat in this dress?" or "Why are you staring at that woman?" you should pretend to be hard of hearing. Mum is the word.

On the other hand, when you get hit with "How do I look in this dress?" the correct answer is always: "Scumptious."

In general, a good rule of thumb is to keep your mouth shut. Your standard conversation with a frail should go along these lines. "Really?" "That's interesting." "Oh wow!" "Uh-huh." "I told you you couldn't trust that bitch."

5. Men have nights out with the boys. You got to stick with this one because it allows for unlimited possibilities. I think you know what I mean.

Anyways, what could be more satisfying than sitting in a cigar-smoke filled room around a poker table, talking trash with all of your buddies? And especially if you're holding the winning hands that night? I rest my case.

6. Men collect notches. You remember how those old gunslingers used to put notches on their holsters for people they had shot? Nowadays the best we can do is those notches on our crotches. I'm sure you know of what I speak. The old folks used to call it "sowin' your wild oats."

Whatever you want to call it, it has to be done. You don't have enough fingers to keep count, after all. Besides, in a target-rich environment, you want to be like the old bull in that joke Robert Duvall tells to Sean Penn in the movie "Colors."

7. Men push the limits. You know what I mean. Men like doin' things like guzzling down beers as fast as we can, driving cars at over 100 miles per hour, snowboarding, sky-diving, racing motorcycles, playing "Chicken," and other hazardous and totally off-the-wall pursuits. That's what bein' a man is all about. And you know what? For every woman who calls us too macho or nuts for doin' stuff like that, there are ten women waiting in line to have a piece of us for being Neanderthals. No lie. Here's a test: what's your average woman look like at the poetry reading down at the coffee shop? Okay. Now what's the average woman look like at the winner's circle of the Daytona 500? Again, I rest my case.

8. Men like nothing better than running wild and free (or believing they do.) Why do you think the Muscle Cars are still bein' made? Why do you think philandering is such a popular sport? Even you guys with the rings --- well, you know --- you like to think of yourselves as part of the hunter class. And that's what keep his old world spinning 'round and 'round.

Posted: 3/21/2006 7:09:49 AM EDT

[#7]

A real man does not talk shit, they let there actions speak for themselves.

Posted: 3/21/2006 7:11:51 AM EDT

[#8]

-You expect the government and police to help you in the event of a crisis.
-You don't see what's so cool about firearms.
-You don't own any firearms.
-You don't want to own any firearms.
-You feed your children bullshit about how guns are bad and they don't need them either.

Posted: 3/21/2006 7:16:43 AM EDT

[#9]

My very first DUPE

Well, sort of a dupe.

Things that make men pussies

Posted: 3/21/2006 7:24:02 AM EDT

[#10]

A real man does not have to post on a "Why I'm a real Man" thread on AR15.com. To get others to think that he is a real man.
Damn, I just did it.
Oh, and I wear pink shirts to the stylist, because I used to nail her. Nothing wrong with being in with the "in" crowd. The people who complain about it just wish they were.

Posted: 3/21/2006 7:28:27 AM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
- You're a liberal

That covers it all right there

Posted: 3/21/2006 7:35:48 AM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
A real man does not have to post on a "Why I'm a real Man" thread on AR15.com. To get others to think that he is a real man.
Damn, I just did it.
Oh, and I wear pink shirts to the stylist, because I used to nail her....

Bragging about "nailing" your stylist?

-5 points.

Posted: 3/21/2006 7:37:21 AM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
Quoted:
A real man does not have to post on a "Why I'm a real Man" thread on AR15.com. To get others to think that he is a real man.
Damn, I just did it.
Oh, and I wear pink shirts to the stylist, because I used to nail her....

Bragging about "nailing" your stylist?

-5 points.

I could too because SHEISLEGEND cut my hair with clippers last weekend...but that probably doesn't count.

Posted: 3/21/2006 7:41:38 AM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
- cannot grease your own muffler bearings.

BC

When I used to sell auto parts (high school), we would hang center support
bearings up and sign them "Ask us about our muffler bearings!"

Man, we got a LOT of action on that one

Here's a picture... as long as eBay keeps it there

Posted: 3/21/2006 11:51:18 AM EDT

[#15]

Its quite hard to take a lifetime of a "Man does" and sum it up but here's my best shot.

A real man acepts responsiblity and takes action in that regard that includes protecting ones family and not depending on others to do it.

Foremost a real man knows he's a man and doesn't have to prove to anyone least of all themself.

Tj

Posted: 3/21/2006 11:55:05 AM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Let's hear it... here I mine:

-you see a "stylist" not a barber
-your hairgel budget is larger than your ammo budget
-you get manicures/pedicures
-wear pink shirts
-know all the latest fashion trends
-watch "queer eye for the straight guy" for reasons other than making fun of it
-Frequent a coffee shot for the "frapecupisosfa"

There's more, but yea... I'm jaded about metros and why girls go for them so lets hear it!

I guess I'm not a "man".

On this stylist thing. How many of you go to a barber? Is it because you like the feel of a man running his hands through your hair?

I go to a stylist, and she does a nice flat top.

Barber? I dont need no stinking barber, I do it myself!
Now thats a mancard endorsement right there!
although I do miss the ladies running her fingers through my scalp, and her boobs on my shoulders

My wife cuts my hair. That way I still get the fingers running across my scalp and boobs on my shoulders treatment.

Posted: 3/21/2006 11:57:25 AM EDT

[#17]

you put the collar up on your polo shirt

Posted: 3/21/2006 2:30:09 PM EDT

[#18]

-you see a "stylist" not a barber
-your hairgel budget is larger than your ammo budget
-you get manicures/pedicures
-wear pink shirts
-know all the latest fashion trends
-watch "queer eye for the straight guy" for reasons other than making fun of it
-Frequent a coffee shot for the "frapecupisosfa"

1. I cut my own hair.
2. Never used hairgel.
3. Swiss Army knife works well for trimming the nails.
4. Pink is for pussys and fags.
5. I still wear clothing from ten years ago.
6. Never seen it
7. Make my own.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - You are not a man if... (Page 2 of 2)

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