LEOS: Entertain us. Post some of the stupidest calls you have ever gone out to investigate. - Page 2

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - LEOS: Entertain us. Post some of the stupidest calls you have ever gone out to investigate. (Page 2 of 7)

Posted: 3/17/2006 1:16:58 PM EDT

[#1]

Here's a question ... How long after you started patrolling did it take you to realize that the majority of people have lost their minds?

Posted: 3/17/2006 1:20:23 PM EDT

[#2]

I arrested a guy one night after he beat the shit out of his wife. While he was in the back of my car, he was talking like a tough guy and telling me he didn't do it, he's not a criminal, blah blah blah. The guy would not shut up

He then says "why don't you quit fucking with me and go arrest the real criminals"

I said to him "I don't arrest real criminals, only the dumb ones"

He shut up.

Posted: 3/17/2006 1:21:40 PM EDT

[#3]

tagged

Posted: 3/17/2006 1:22:25 PM EDT

[#4]

I actually had one where this dumbass called and wanted a report for "terrorist threats," a felony where I am. It seems his dope dealer fronted him some meth and when he didn't pay, the dope dealer telephoned him and threatened to kill him if he didn't pay up.

I told him that if he did indeed purchase the meth on credit, it would be wise for him to pay up. Sounds like a civil issue to me. This is all part of the dope lifestyle, idiot. No, I'm not going to help you and if you call again, you might go to jail for "under the influence."

He never called again.

Posted: 3/17/2006 1:23:05 PM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Dumbass called the police to report that he bought some "bad" drugs. Turned out the baggie of "powdered cocaine" was nothing but baking soda. Locked his dumbass for possession of cocaine. And he never would rat out his dealer too. Went to prison for baking soda and turned down a probation plea bargain deal if he ratted out his dealer.

Once last year I was prepping a client to take a plea deal I had worked out with the prosecutor. Wasn't a great deal, but it was decent and the case was open and shut. As I recall he had dealt to an undercover right under a streetlight and a secondary team had surveilled the whole thing. Then he had tried to run, so aside from the distribution charge he had a misdemeanor resisting tacked on. I was going to have him plea to a knockdown felony C possession which would have been less serious than the distribution, and the resisting would be dismissed.

I'm prepping him on the factual basis part of the admission procedure when he stops and sits straight up in the chair. He says, "Hold up, hold up. I just thought of something. If I plead guilty, than... than its like I'm snitching, on MYSELF. I can't do that!"

He refused the plea. I rightfully lost my evidence suppression argument which was baseless (cops had done their job properly, too bad for him), and we proceeded to trial, him pleading the 5th and me without any kind of decent legal argument. Guilty counts 1 and 2.

What a dumbass!! Don't you just hate it when a client makes your job harder due to stupidity?

Posted: 3/17/2006 1:29:39 PM EDT

[#6]

I'm not a cop, but two of my favorites that I have observed. Both in Kingston, PA.

Driving north on one of the city streets in a 3 car line. Car one is a sports car, car two is a marked Kingston cruiser, car three is us. Guy in car one stops at a redlight, pauses, and then GOES through the light. Cop sits there for a second as if deciding if the guy in front of him actually ran a red with a cruiser behind him, then tosses on his lights.

Going down one road that's one way, and then opens up to two way at a light. There's THREE "DO NOT ENTER" signs. There's a straight-right lane and a left turn lane for the one way part. Anyway, we're in the left turn lane, and a marked Kingston cruiser is in the straight lane but going right. We're sitting at a red (oncoming traffic has green first to turn, and then we go) and an SUV drivin by a guy on a cell phone GOES STRAIGHT. After realizing there's two cars there, he attemps for a second to fit between us and the cruiser. The cop rolls down his window and yells "What the fuck do you think you're doing?! Turn around!" Guy backs up and makes a turn instead. Cop looks at us and says "Stupid ass holes and their cell phones" and then flips on his lights after the guy. That must've been a happy conversation.

Posted: 3/17/2006 1:32:44 PM EDT

[#7]

Tagging for good reading.

Posted: 3/17/2006 1:36:51 PM EDT

[#8]

tag

Posted: 3/17/2006 1:38:00 PM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
Damn! You guys take people to jail for open container? That's an infraction here. a nonbookable cite & release in the field. A small fine if over 21. traffic school if under 21.

..and for fail to dim headlight, no seatbelt, fail to signal lane change, fail to.........

Posted: 3/17/2006 1:44:36 PM EDT

[#10]

A friend of mine drove the department's unmarked Mustang and patrolled the
interstate and surrounding area. One day I broadcast my radio show from the car
to give listeners an idea of what it was like.

He pulled over a sedan for speeding. I remained in the car doing commentary as
I listened to him engage the driver. It was two female FBI agents who were
on their way to a conference. They were not happy to have been stopped and were
giving my friend a lot of attitude. As he walked back to the Mustang, I could see he was
not happy so I went to a commercial break....It was then the plan was hatched.

When the break was over, the next thing the audience heard was the car's siren. My
buddy had caught up with the agents on the interstate and pulled them over...again.

He told them their left rear tire was dangerously underinflated and
that he would follow them to see they made it safely to the next exit.

They complied; but such language.

Posted: 3/17/2006 1:47:10 PM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:

What does "PWNED" mean? Sorry, I'm just not up on all the new internet jargon.

Perfectly OWNED.

Posted: 3/17/2006 1:48:19 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
Quoted:
There was this one the other day. We get a call from a nearby agency advising one of their officers was the victim of a hit/run. They said it was just a little scratch but please just try to get the suspect to give them a call so they could finish up a crash report. They said the driver probably didn't even know they'd bumped their undercover officer's Mustang, and that there was probably just a little bit of silver paint transfer on the truck's bumper. Honestly we'd been bored all day and running "what if" scenarios, and decided to go set up on the offender's house, not knowing what to expect from the suspect since our dept. doesn't have any history of any contacts at the residence or with either of the registered owners of the suspect vehicle.

It was actually pretty effective training for us at picking surveillance locations and communicating effectively. We see the guy pull his truck into the garage. So we kind of ran over to try to get his attention before the garage door started going down. I kind of shouted a little so he could hear me since I was way out at the end of the driveway. I said the standard, "Sir could you come out of the garage so I can talk with you for a minute?" Then he just starts screaming at us to get the hell off his property or else - when we were just trying to talk to him.

Well, of course, we're perfectly willing to accomodate any citizen who pushes the 'escalate the situation' button. Tell him we're just looking into a hit/run but he continues on his rant. So a quick pat-down verifies he's not armed (although it would have been legal for him to be armed, when someone lays down the "or else" comment... we take it seriously) He continues ranting while his wife's trying to tell him to calm down but he won't have any of that. So I tell my partner to put him in the back of the squad so we don't have to end up arresting him for obstructing an investigation.

Soon as that happens, we're able to talk to the much calmer wife, who said that she'd been driving the truck earlier and was not aware that she'd bumped another car, and when she heard it was an undercover police car she was actually pretty embarrassed about it. We got in contact w/ the other agency and helped them make arrangements to have one of their officers come out to this lady's house instead of making them drive all the way back to the other agency's department.

As for the guy... I'm sure he figured out some way to tell all his buddies how much of a victim he was and how he showed them cops a thing or two. We were probably there less than 10 minutes and he ended up getting let out of the squad once he'd calmed down, instead of getting too hyped up and doing something that might have got him arrested. All in all another routine night for the guys and lady on my shift.

ya know.... there is an ARFCOMer ...........

acfommer on afcommer crime

Posted: 3/17/2006 1:49:02 PM EDT

[#13]

Not a LEO but I saw this in person at a friend's house for a cookout about 10 years ago:

It gets late and everyone is having a good times throwing the beers back. One fairly intoxicated guy named Mike asks if he can ride the party host's new lawn mower down the dirt driveway and back. Doug says sure and Mike takes off on it. Everyone kinda forgets about him. It's about midnight.

Well about 45 minutes later Mike is riding back up the driveway on the lawnmower with a Sheriffs car behind him with the blue lights on. Turns out he got out to the highway, rode about 1/4 mile down the road and started mowing a neighbor's front yard. They called 911 and when the deputies showed up there he had just about finished the front yard and the homeowner was standing out on the porch watching. The homeowner said he did such a good job and that the yard needing mowing anyway that he would appreciate if they didn't arrest Mike, just take him home.

Luckily one of the deputies was in a hunting club with Mike and we all had gone to high school with the other one so they just gave him a police escort back down the road to the party. They both said it was one of the funniest calls they had ever got.

Posted: 3/17/2006 1:51:11 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
Dumbass called the police to report that he bought some "bad" drugs. Turned out the baggie of "powdered cocaine" was nothing but baking soda. Locked his dumbass for possession of cocaine. And he never would rat out his dealer too. Went to prison for baking soda and turned down a probation plea bargain deal if he ratted out his dealer.

So how do the DA's make it stick that owning baking soda is illegal if you think it is cocaine?

can that be done with oregano and pot?

Posted: 3/17/2006 1:54:22 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
Quoted:

What does "PWNED" mean? Sorry, I'm just not up on all the new internet jargon.

Perfectly OWNED.

Nah, I'm pretty sure it is just a simple mistype that became part of the lexicon.

And man these stories are hilarious.

Was the shaved lady hot?

Posted: 3/17/2006 1:54:48 PM EDT

[#16]

Posted: 3/17/2006 2:02:10 PM EDT

[#17]

tag.

Posted: 3/17/2006 2:23:17 PM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
When i was working a two man uit we arrested a very drunk surfer for ADW. The guy was a prick the whole time. Talked trash all the way to the jail. No big deal, street cops should ignore that shit. however jailers will not ignore it and our state laws allow jailers to use force to "maintain order" in the jail and enforce the jails rules. those jail rules prohibit profanity or disrepect to jail staff. so basically, if you talk shit once you get through the sally port your getting beat/pepersprayed/taserd.

So when we got to the jail joe surfer was still talking trash. My parner tells him"Dude, you better check yourself..." to which the suspect immediately replies "Or what? before i wreck myself..?" I couldnt help but laugh. he was actually damn funny.

So when get inside the jail and the medical staff asks him "Are you sick or injured?" His response was, "not yet, but i think that's going to change."

It turns out he was some kind of prophet or something. Becuase about 5 minutes later he mouthed off to the jailers and got the beating he had been begging for all night.

Oh well. my partner tried to warn him.

Interesting and entertaining at the same time.

Posted: 3/17/2006 2:29:10 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Drunk says on camera during roadside tasks "buddy, I can't do this shit sober."

LOL. Hey, he's an honest drunk atleast.

Posted: 3/17/2006 2:33:07 PM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
Not a LEO but I saw this in person at a friend's house for a cookout about 10 years ago:

It gets late and everyone is having a good times throwing the beers back. One fairly intoxicated guy named Mike asks if he can ride the party host's new lawn mower down the dirt driveway and back. Doug says sure and Mike takes off on it. Everyone kinda forgets about him. It's about midnight.

Well about 45 minutes later Mike is riding back up the driveway on the lawnmower with a Sheriffs car behind him with the blue lights on. Turns out he got out to the highway, rode about 1/4 mile down the road and started mowing a neighbor's front yard. They called 911 and when the deputies showed up there he had just about finished the front yard and the homeowner was standing out on the porch watching. The homeowner said he did such a good job and that the yard needing mowing anyway that he would appreciate if they didn't arrest Mike, just take him home.

Luckily one of the deputies was in a hunting club with Mike and we all had gone to high school with the other one so they just gave him a police escort back down the road to the party. They both said it was one of the funniest calls they had ever got.

Heheheh. Yep. That was pretty funny!

Posted: 3/17/2006 2:49:38 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Dumbass called the police to report that he bought some "bad" drugs. Turned out the baggie of "powdered cocaine" was nothing but baking soda. Locked his dumbass for possession of cocaine. And he never would rat out his dealer too. Went to prison for baking soda and turned down a probation plea bargain deal if he ratted out his dealer.

So how do the DA's make it stick that owning baking soda is illegal if you think it is cocaine?

can that be done with oregano and pot?

Yeah, I mean WTF? He obviously didn't posess coke...

Posted: 3/17/2006 2:58:45 PM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
Not a LEO but I saw this in person at a friend's house for a cookout about 10 years ago:

It gets late and everyone is having a good times throwing the beers back. One fairly intoxicated guy named Mike asks if he can ride the party host's new lawn mower down the dirt driveway and back. Doug says sure and Mike takes off on it. Everyone kinda forgets about him. It's about midnight.

Well about 45 minutes later Mike is riding back up the driveway on the lawnmower with a Sheriffs car behind him with the blue lights on. Turns out he got out to the highway, rode about 1/4 mile down the road and started mowing a neighbor's front yard. They called 911 and when the deputies showed up there he had just about finished the front yard and the homeowner was standing out on the porch watching. The homeowner said he did such a good job and that the yard needing mowing anyway that he would appreciate if they didn't arrest Mike, just take him home.

Luckily one of the deputies was in a hunting club with Mike and we all had gone to high school with the other one so they just gave him a police escort back down the road to the party. They both said it was one of the funniest calls they had ever got.

Posted: 3/17/2006 3:02:38 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
I did a ride-along with a member here and he arrested two mid-twenties white girls after midnight on a weekday for "stupid in public" I think. They were drunk as skunks, dressed like two bit whores and were fistfighting in the street outside their stopped-in-the-roadway car. The fatter of the two kept whining "Where are we going?" ...like thirty or forty times. I wanted to yell through the cage at her, "Stupid skank, if you're in handcuffs in the back of a police car, you're not going to Disneyland!" She burst into tears as we drove past the giant, well lit "XXXXXXXXX COUNTY JAIL" sign, then got really belligerent when a female police officer at intake asked her if she was a prostitute.

Highly entertaining, in a can't-look-away-from-the-car-crash sort of way.

Ride alongs can be very eye opening expierence.

Posted: 3/17/2006 3:05:17 PM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:

What a dumbass!! Don't you just hate it when a client makes your job harder due to stupidity?

You would be surprised at the number of folks who choose to go to jail instead of pouring out their beer.

It's like let me explain this to you again, pour it out or go to jail. They don't get it.

Posted: 3/17/2006 3:12:30 PM EDT

[#25]

Talk about wasting police resources, how about getting sent to help a lady cuz she lost her car keys in her house!!!!

Posted: 3/17/2006 3:12:41 PM EDT

[#26]

Every call,no matter how YOU may perceive it, is important to the person who called requesting help. Therefore, I generally don't try to qualify any call as "stupid". The one recently where the guy wanted to report a stolen pack of cigarettes was close, though........................

Posted: 3/17/2006 3:15:00 PM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Dumbass called the police to report that he bought some "bad" drugs. Turned out the baggie of "powdered cocaine" was nothing but baking soda. Locked his dumbass for possession of cocaine. And he never would rat out his dealer too. Went to prison for baking soda and turned down a probation plea bargain deal if he ratted out his dealer.

So how do the DA's make it stick that owning baking soda is illegal if you think it is cocaine?

can that be done with oregano and pot?

No shit, how do you end up in PRISON for baking soda?

Posted: 3/17/2006 3:15:58 PM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
Talk about wasting police resources, how about getting sent to help a lady cuz she lost her car keys in her house!!!!

Welcome to ARF.

Posted: 3/17/2006 3:16:05 PM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
Drunks who call to report their car stolen becuase their drunk ass cant remember where they parked it.

Drunks who call to report their gun stolen. They cant remember the last time the saw it. but they couldnt find it when they got drunk and wanted to shoot themselves.

16yo Girl who attempted suicide by overdosing on her dads viagra.

Any parent calling becuase their minor child is "out of control."

Anyone calling becuase they are in a verbal arguement with their roomate/spouse/significant other and they want us to "make them stop" or "make them leave."

The Catholic church that feeds the homeless every evening calling becuase there are too many bums loitering around during evening mass.

Rich white people calling about a suspicious person who turns out to be a middle class black kid selling magazine subscriptions for a school fund raiser. "Ma'am, can you tell me what was suspicious about him?"

Women callig becuase their husband is smacking them around, but they dont want him arrested. Sorry, thank OJ. You tell me you got hit he goes to jail period.

20yo's calling becuase the bar bouncers confiscated their fake ID.

Anyone calling becuase something valuable that they left in plain veiw in their unlocked car parked in the street got stolen.

Surfers calling to report their car stolen after they "hid" the keys on the rear tire or inside the rear bumper.

My favorite call ever. A 35yo man whose father had recently died and left him a large inheritance decided to get a $3,000.00 a night room at a famous hotel and spend a week smoking crack and screwing hookers. On about day 5 he sodomized a hooker without paying extra for it. she left and told him she was going to send her brothers to kill him. Coincendently the hotel decided to evict him the same day. So in his coked out state when the hotel staff asked him to leave he thought it was a trap and barracaded the door. The hotle called us. We kicked the connecter door from the adjacent roomm and the fight was on. We ended up out on the 4th floor balcony. During the 3minute fight to get him into handcuffs he shit himself and one of his shouders got dislocated before i finally chocked him out. The entire time he was screaming "your not real cops" and "your killing me." There was a large wedding party in the courtyard 4 stories below <G>. The hotel staff told me later that they had to give a bunch of refunds to guests that heard the screaming so i told them to contact the DA for restitution. The suspect got 3 years probation, 180 days in jail, and had to give what little was left of his inheritance to the hotel for the wedding party and dozens of $3,000.00 a night rooms they had refunded/comped becuase of his actions.

Holy shiite thats good stuff. Way to ruin a good hookers and blow party ya miserable jbt!

btw- what happened to the 16 year old who OD'ed on the viagra?

Posted: 3/17/2006 3:17:32 PM EDT

[#30]

Oh so tagged!

Posted: 3/17/2006 3:18:36 PM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Dumbass called the police to report that he bought some "bad" drugs. Turned out the baggie of "powdered cocaine" was nothing but baking soda. Locked his dumbass for possession of cocaine. And he never would rat out his dealer too. Went to prison for baking soda and turned down a probation plea bargain deal if he ratted out his dealer.

So how do the DA's make it stick that owning baking soda is illegal if you think it is cocaine?

can that be done with oregano and pot?

No shit, how do you end up in PRISON for baking soda?

Smells like bullshit to me.

Posted: 3/17/2006 3:47:56 PM EDT

[#32]

Got dispatched on a request for assistance from the ambulance service. I thought something was strange when I arrived at the victim's address and there weren't any other emergency vehicles around, even though I had heard one other police unit and the ambulance go 10-23. I went on up to the front door and was met by an elderly woman(late 60s) that weighed around 400 pounds. This woman thanks me profusely for coming, and then informs me that her mother is having difficulty in the bathroom. I asked what kind of difficulty and she stated that mother is stuck on the toilet. By this time another police unit arrives, we look at each other and after a short discussion about where the other units are, we proceed to the bathroom. Mere words can't describe the odor, or the sight of an obese(estimated 450 lbs) woman in her late 80s stuck on a toilet seat. It took an almost superhuman effort to pry her off the toilet as she was actually stuck between the wall and the short partition that was intended to provide some small measure of privacy. Yeah we were the laughing stocks of both departments for some time.

Posted: 3/17/2006 3:54:19 PM EDT

[#33]

tag for fun and wonder

Posted: 3/17/2006 3:54:35 PM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:
Quoted:
I did a ride-along with a member here and he arrested two mid-twenties white girls after midnight on a weekday for "stupid in public" I think. They were drunk as skunks, dressed like two bit whores and were fistfighting in the street outside their stopped-in-the-roadway car. The fatter of the two kept whining "Where are we going?" ...like thirty or forty times. I wanted to yell through the cage at her, "Stupid skank, if you're in handcuffs in the back of a police car, you're not going to Disneyland!" She burst into tears as we drove past the giant, well lit "XXXXXXXXX COUNTY JAIL" sign, then got really belligerent when a female police officer at intake asked her if she was a prostitute.

Highly entertaining, in a can't-look-away-from-the-car-crash sort of way.

Ride alongs can be very eye opening expierence.

I need to do a ride-along sometime, although I do get depressed watching COPS and seeing how stupid and useless 95% of the general population really is, expecially around 11:30 Friday or Saturday night.

Posted: 3/17/2006 4:05:18 PM EDT

[#35]

I just called 911 and tagged this thread.

Posted: 3/17/2006 4:34:20 PM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Dumbass called the police to report that he bought some "bad" drugs. Turned out the baggie of "powdered cocaine" was nothing but baking soda. Locked his dumbass for possession of cocaine. And he never would rat out his dealer too. Went to prison for baking soda and turned down a probation plea bargain deal if he ratted out his dealer.

So how do the DA's make it stick that owning baking soda is illegal if you think it is cocaine?

can that be done with oregano and pot?

No shit, how do you end up in PRISON for baking soda?

Smells like bullshit to me.

IIRC, it's true. ain't thats messed up? IIRC, if you sell any substance and claim it's an illegal drug, in the eyes of the law it IS an illegal drug. guess they want to be able to prosecute idiots who buy the fake drugs, because "possession of baking soda" is not a crime.

Posted: 3/17/2006 4:35:10 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Dumbass called the police to report that he bought some "bad" drugs. Turned out the baggie of "powdered cocaine" was nothing but baking soda. Locked his dumbass for possession of cocaine. And he never would rat out his dealer too. Went to prison for baking soda and turned down a probation plea bargain deal if he ratted out his dealer.

So how do the DA's make it stick that owning baking soda is illegal if you think it is cocaine?

can that be done with oregano and pot?

No shit, how do you end up in PRISON for baking soda?

Smells like bullshit to me.

Counterfit drugs carry the same penalty here in Ohio IIRC. Sell a bag of oregano as weed go to jail.

Posted: 3/17/2006 4:54:39 PM EDT

[#38]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Dumbass called the police to report that he bought some "bad" drugs. Turned out the baggie of "powdered cocaine" was nothing but baking soda. Locked his dumbass for possession of cocaine. And he never would rat out his dealer too. Went to prison for baking soda and turned down a probation plea bargain deal if he ratted out his dealer.

So how do the DA's make it stick that owning baking soda is illegal if you think it is cocaine?

can that be done with oregano and pot?

He admitted to buying it. As long as he reasonably thought it was coke, he can be charged with possession. I guess it would work with oregano as long as whoever bought it thought it was pot. If you try to sell oregano as pot and baking soda as coke, you can be charged also. The statutes have a provision for counterfeit drugs too.

ETA: The dumbass bought a whole kilo of the "coke". So he got charged with possession of cocaine with intent to distribute. One person doesn't use a whole kilo for recreation right?

Posted: 3/17/2006 4:58:54 PM EDT

[#39]

so, what happens if you sell cannabis as oregano, and you honestly thought it was oregano?

Posted: 3/17/2006 5:02:01 PM EDT

[#40]

I have seen the principle applied to firearms as well. I've had clients charged with Unlawful Use of Weapons for threatening people with guns which turned out to be toys. The only difference is in the wording of the charge, they just add the phrase "what appeared to be".

1. "... the individual displayed a deadly weapon readily capable of lethal use in an angry and threatening manner..."

2. "... the individual displayed what appeared to be a deadly weapon readily capable of lethal use in an angry and threatening manner..."

I've also heard that painting over the orange barrel plugs or removing them is a federal offense in and of itself, but I've never looked it up.

Posted: 3/17/2006 5:02:31 PM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:
so, what happens if you sell cannabis as oregano, and you honestly thought it was oregano?

That's a good one. Actually, you can buy weed from Galls. It's weed, minus the THC, for use by undercover ops so that they can "blend in" with the lowlifes by rolling a joint and smoking with them. It was in the Fall Catalog. Don't think it's restricted to LEOs either.

Posted: 3/17/2006 5:04:11 PM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:
I have seen the principle applied to firearms as well. I've had clients charged with Unlawful Use of Weapons for threatening people with guns which turned out to be toys. The only difference is in the wording of the charge, they just add the phrase "what appeared to be".

1. "... the individual displayed a deadly weapon readily capable of lethal use in an angry and threatening manner..."

2. "... the individual displayed what appeared to be a deadly weapon readily capable of lethal use in an angry and threatening manner..."

I've also heard that painting over the orange barrel plugs or removing them is a federal offense in and of itself, but I've never looked it up.

Go into a bank with an Airsoft and yell "Give me all your money!". Then wait for the police to arrest you. You will most certainly be charged with Armed Robbery. And if a teller dies of a heart attack, you will be charged with murder too.

ETA: Not sure of the orange barrel plugs, but gang members have been spray painting the muzzle end of their guns with orange spray paint, to make LEOs think it's a "toy". It's amazing how gangbangers think of ways to get a drop on a cop drinking Ole English 800 and smoking a joint.

Posted: 3/17/2006 5:07:56 PM EDT

[#43]

Posted: 3/17/2006 5:12:58 PM EDT

[#44]

Here a racial one. First weeks out of my class SIR! BLE 67 SIR! in the 70's!! My T.O pulled over a black guy going 90mph in a astin martin(both were british). He gave the T.O shit. Then called him a 'pig'yadayada. My T.O said. Son, yes I'm a pig, but I'm retiring in 7 months and won't be a "pig" anymore, your always going to be a ignorant british niga.

Hey, things were different back then.Then handed him a apropriate ticket for everything for 550.00 in the 70's.!

Posted: 3/17/2006 5:16:15 PM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
Here a racial one. First weeks out of my class SIR! BLE 67 SIR! in the 70's!! My T.O pulled over a black guy going 90mph in a astin martin(both were british). He gave the T.O shit. Then called him a 'pig'yadayada. My T.O said. Son, yes I'm a pig, but I'm retiring in 7 months and won't be a "pig" anymore, your always going to be a ignorant british niga. Hey, things were different back then.Then handed him a apropriate ticket for everything for 550.00 in the 70's.!

'70s were the best decade

Posted: 3/17/2006 5:18:18 PM EDT

[#46]

Quoted:
Quoted:
so, what happens if you sell cannabis as oregano, and you honestly thought it was oregano?

That's a good one. Actually, you can buy weed from Galls. It's weed, minus the THC, for use by undercover ops so that they can "blend in" with the lowlifes by rolling a joint and smoking with them. It was in the Fall Catalog. Don't think it's restricted to LEOs either.

are you sure it's not just some other plant that looks/smells like cannabis? all cannabis has THC, even if just in very very small quantities, and even if its such a small amount that recreational use would be impossible, it's still banned (hemp farming is still illegal since the end of WW2 IIRC....)

Posted: 3/17/2006 5:21:30 PM EDT

[#47]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
so, what happens if you sell cannabis as oregano, and you honestly thought it was oregano?

That's a good one. Actually, you can buy weed from Galls. It's weed, minus the THC, for use by undercover ops so that they can "blend in" with the lowlifes by rolling a joint and smoking with them. It was in the Fall Catalog. Don't think it's restricted to LEOs either.

are you sure it's not just some other plant that looks/smells like cannabis? all cannabis has THC, even if just in very very small quantities, and even if its such a small amount that recreational use would be impossible, it's still banned (hemp farming is still illegal since the end of WW2 IIRC....)

It could be. I'm not sure. The catalog said it was marijuana without the THC. Could very well be another plant that looks/smells like it. Order a bag and give us a range report.

ETA: Speaking of hemp, I saw some skin lotion that said "Made with hemp". I think it was in Walmart. I'm wondering what idiot bought a shitload of the lotion and tried smoking it up.

Posted: 3/17/2006 5:32:25 PM EDT

[#48]

One time I got a call to meet the paramedics at a crack hotel. Get there and they are CPRing a young F/B who is obviously a prostitute. The guy she was with is still there and looks nervous. I stand by a minute and then ask the fireman closest to me "Why did you all call me? This is a medical call". He whispers to me "She's dead". OK then. I asked her "boyfriend" what happened. He tells me he "just met" her and they got a room and drank some wine and smoked some rock. She passed out an he got ready to leave and she wouldn't wake up. He called the paramedics and now everybody was here.
Then he says "She's going to be alright isn't she?" I said "She's dead". He got real nervous and started sweating and stuff so I got nervous and handcuffed him and sat him in a chair. I was telling him "Don't worry about it. You didn't kill her. That crack just blew her heart up. You're not in any trouble".
Then he looked at me and asked "How long has she been dead?". I said "When she passed out that was when she died". Then it hit me. I looked at him and said "Uh-uh". Then he started going off yelling "I didn't know. I swear to God I didn't know. I already paid man! I already paid!".
Oh well. She was still warm.

Posted: 3/17/2006 5:34:37 PM EDT

[#49]

I've had the police called a few times for mischief with Tokie, but never got in any real trouble.

I often wonder what goes on in the locker room after something like that.

Posted: 3/17/2006 6:02:35 PM EDT

[#50]

Quoted:
There was this one the other day. We get a call from a nearby agency advising one of their officers was the victim of a hit/run. They said it was just a little scratch but please just try to get the suspect to give them a call so they could finish up a crash report. They said the driver probably didn't even know they'd bumped their undercover officer's Mustang, and that there was probably just a little bit of silver paint transfer on the truck's bumper. Honestly we'd been bored all day and running "what if" scenarios, and decided to go set up on the offender's house, not knowing what to expect from the suspect since our dept. doesn't have any history of any contacts at the residence or with either of the registered owners of the suspect vehicle.

It was actually pretty effective training for us at picking surveillance locations and communicating effectively. We see the guy pull his truck into the garage. So we kind of ran over to try to get his attention before the garage door started going down. I kind of shouted a little so he could hear me since I was way out at the end of the driveway. I said the standard, "Sir could you come out of the garage so I can talk with you for a minute?" Then he just starts screaming at us to get the hell off his property or else - when we were just trying to talk to him.

Well, of course, we're perfectly willing to accomodate any citizen who pushes the 'escalate the situation' button. Tell him we're just looking into a hit/run but he continues on his rant. So a quick pat-down verifies he's not armed (although it would have been legal for him to be armed, when someone lays down the "or else" comment... we take it seriously) He continues ranting while his wife's trying to tell him to calm down but he won't have any of that. So I tell my partner to put him in the back of the squad so we don't have to end up arresting him for obstructing an investigation.

Soon as that happens, we're able to talk to the much calmer wife, who said that she'd been driving the truck earlier and was not aware that she'd bumped another car, and when she heard it was an undercover police car she was actually pretty embarrassed about it. We got in contact w/ the other agency and helped them make arrangements to have one of their officers come out to this lady's house instead of making them drive all the way back to the other agency's department.

As for the guy... I'm sure he figured out some way to tell all his buddies how much of a victim he was and how he showed them cops a thing or two. We were probably there less than 10 minutes and he ended up getting let out of the squad once he'd calmed down, instead of getting too hyped up and doing something that might have got him arrested. All in all another routine night for the guys and lady on my shift.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - LEOS: Entertain us. Post some of the stupidest calls you have ever gone out to investigate. (Page 2 of 7)

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