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Posted: 3/15/2006 5:43:39 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/15/2006 5:47:22 PM EDT by prone]
Man who stick dick in peanutbutter jar fuckin nuts

Man who walk through airport door sideways surely going to bangkok

Man with whole in pocket feel cocky all day

Link Posted: 3/15/2006 5:46:06 PM EDT

Confusious say

Clearly you are confused.

It's Confucius.
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 5:47:37 PM EDT
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 5:47:38 PM EDT
GabbasaurusRex say....you're a few years too late.
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 5:49:03 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/15/2006 5:55:59 PM EDT by MagKnightX]

Originally Posted By j-fonz:

Confusious say

Clearly you are confused.

It's Confucius.



Actually, it's Kǒngzǐ for his title (Master Kong, pron. Kong Dsi), or Kǒng Qiū (roughly Kong Tshyu) for his actual name.

孔夫子 in Chinese, if your browser supports it.
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 5:51:06 PM EDT

GabbasaurusRex say....you're a few years too late.





Well, here it is again.
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 5:52:40 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 5:53:01 PM EDT

Actually, it's Kǒngzǐ for his title (Master Kong), or Kǒng Qiū (roughly Kong Tshyu) for his actual name.

孔夫子 in Chinese, if your browser supports it.




Ummmmm. Please use small words and talk slowly, I'm not that bright.
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 5:53:04 PM EDT
Tag this wont end well. Where is that guy from china ask him what cuntfuscious says.
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 5:55:04 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/15/2006 5:56:28 PM EDT by 13thWarrior]
Time to speak dirty.

Confucius Say
Man with five dicks will have pants that fit like a glove.

Confucius Say
To reuse a condom, turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it

Confucius Say
To make a long story short, don't tell it.
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 5:56:49 PM EDT

Originally Posted By prone:

GabbasaurusRex say....you're a few years too late.





Well, here it is again.


Still funny though.
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 5:58:11 PM EDT
Confucius say...
Boy who go to bed with sexual problem
wake up with solution in hand
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 5:59:02 PM EDT
Confucius say...
A Rental Car is the only true all-terrain vehicle.

Confucius Say...
"A lawyer is someone who writes an eighty-page document and calls it a brief!"

Confucius say...
Woman like dollar bill; hard to pickup, but worth effort.

Confucius say...
Question Authority and the Authorities will question You.

Confucius say...
Always wear camouflage condoms: They won't see you coming.

Confucius Say...
Creative Chinese chef without utensils can still find ways to stir soup

Confucius Say...
Today's dog in alley is tomorrow's moo goo gai pan

Confucius Say...
If you open the door to a lesser evil, a greater one will slink in after it.

Confucius Say...
The greatest of all faults, is to be aware of none.

Confucius Say...
No time for your health today; no health for your time tomorrow.

Confucius Say...
Karaoke is a Chinese word meaning "tone deaf".

Confucius Say...
Oral sex makes one's day, but anal sex makes one's hole weak.

Confucius Say...
If someone calls you fat, don't get angry... just turn the other chin.

Confucius Say...
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

Confucius Say...
If you continue to live in the past, your life is history.

Confucius Say...
Man who says he knows how to control a wife is called a bachelor.

Confucius Say...
It's OK for Schoolboy to masturbate, as long as it's not against his Principal.

Confucius Say...
The very first doctor of dermatology, had to start from scratch.

Confucius Say...
When you see the handwriting on the wall, you're in a public restroom.

Confucius Say...
Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself.

Confucius Say...
New wives are like computers...they go down unexpectedly.

Confucius Say...
Best time to buy new mattress, at first sign of spring.

Confucius Say...
He who sneeze without tissue, take matter in own hands.

Confucius Say...
Without nipples, breasts would be pointless.

Confucius Say...
People having gift of gab, not know how to wrap it up.

Confucius Say...
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Confucius Say...
First breathe of love is the last breath of wisdom.

Confucius Say...
The definition of a true genius is a nudist with a memory for faces.

Confucius Say...
Just one letter makes all the difference between here and there.

Confucius Say...
Man who kisses girl's behind, get a crack in the face.

Confucius Say...
learn to masturbate...come in handy.

Confucius Say...
Mother Nature's best aphrodisiac is still a naked woman.

Confucius Say...
There is one thing that all smart asses have in common... "Wise Cracks"

Confucius Say...
Some people are like blisters. They don't show up until the work is done.

Confucius Say...
"Tact" is the unsaid part of what you're thinking.

Confusious say...
Dog may be man's best friend, but pussy not far behind.

Confucius say...
Man in bathroom with tool in hand is not necessarily a plumber.

Confucius say...
Man who fall into an upholstery machine, eventually be fully recovered.

Confucius Say...
Women are like rocks......We skip the flat ones.

Confucius Say...
People who say they never fart, are full of hot air.

Confucius Say...
Happiness is not a destination, but a manner of traveling.

Confucius Say...
Putting teenager in prison, won't stop his face from breaking out.

Confucius Say...
Love everybody...not every body.

Confucius Say...
If wise man marry, he become otherwise.

Confucius Say...
The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.

Confucius Say...
Don't confuse an open mind with one that's vacant.

Confucius Say...
The trouble with bucket seats is that, not everybody has the same size bucket.

Confucius Say...
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Confucius Say...
Live each day as if it were your last, because someday it will be.

Confucius Say...
It's ok to look back at the past....Just don't stare at it.

Confucius Say...
If you don't want anyone to get your goat, don't let them know where you have it tied.

Confucius Say...
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Confucius Say...
At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.

Confucius Say...
Beauty is only a light switch away.

Confucius Say...
He who sleep on bed of nails, is indeed a holy man.

Confucius Say...
Man who has money to burn, makes an ash of himself.

Confucius Say...
"Man have more hair on chest than woman, but on the whole woman have more."

Confucius Say...
Seven days on honeymoon make one hole weak.

Confucius Say...
Nail on board is not good as screw on bench.

Confucius Say...
Man who sucks nipples, make clean breast of things.

Confucius Say...
Girl who slides down bannister, makes monkey shine.

Confucius Say...
A streaker is someone who is unsuited for his work.

Confucius Say...
He who refuses to listen, is lying.

Confucius Say...
Man who dates dynamite lady, gets big bang out of her.

Confucius Say...
"He who seeks revenge should remember to dig two graves."

Confucius Say...
It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

Confucius Say...
Never have sex with a stranger unless you are stranger than them.

Confucius Say...
Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.

Confucius Say...
Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.

Confucius Say...
If you want a committed man, look in mental hospital!

Confucius Say...
He who eats crackers in bed, get crummy sleep.

Confucius Say...
Woman who wears padded bra, makes mountains out of molehills.

Confucius Say...
Man who pulls on woman's bra-strap, may get bust in mouth.

Confucius Say...
To make egg roll, push it.

Confucius Say...
Chemist who fall in acid, get absorbed in work.

Confucius say...
Girl's best asset is her `lie' ability.

Confucius say...
He who eats ice cream in car, is a Sundae Driver

Confucius say...
He who stick head in open window, gets pane in neck.

Confucius say...
Man who sucks nipples makes clean breast of things.

Confucius say...
Virgin with thimble on finger, never feel prick.

Confucius Say...
army like blow job
closer to discharge you get, the better it feels

Confucius Say...
"Woman who dance while wearing a jockstrap have make believe ballroom.

Confucius Say...
"Man who smoke pot, choke on handle."

Confucius Say...
"Sailor who gets discharged from navy, leave buddies behind."

Confucius Say...
Man who make love to cash register, come into money.

Confucius Say...
Man who fondle girl having period, get caught red handed.

Confucius Say...
Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have crappy time.

Confucius Say...
He who sniffs coke, gets ice cube up nose.

Confucius Say...
"Woman who springs on inner spring this spring gets offspring next spring."

Confucius Say...
"Sex on beach is like American beer...very near water.

Confucius Say...
"Woman who slides down banister, makes monkey shine."

Confucius Say...
Man who masturbate only screwing himself.

Confucius Say...
Man who do business in whore house , get jerked around

Confucius Say...
House without toilet is uncanny.

Confucius Say...
‘Tis better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Confucius Say...
Butcher who back into meat-grinder, get a little behind in his orders.

Confucius say...
"He who light the fuse of love, get big bang."

Confucius say...
'Tis better to have loved a short woman than to have never loved a tall

Confucius say...
Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot, very unsanitary.

Confucius say...
Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.

Confucius say...
wise man never play leapfrog with unicorn

Confucius say...
Woman who marry detective must kiss dick.

Confucius say...
Woman who is wallflower at party, dandelion in bed.

Confucius say...
man who sink into woman's arms soon have arms in woman's sink

Confucius say...
men and spray paint alike... One squeeze and they're all over you.

Confucius Say...
the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut

Confucius Say...
Men are like Lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Confucius say...
It is good for girl to meet boy in park,
but better for boy to park meat in girl.

Confucius say...
Butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders

Confucius say...
Man who shoot off mouth, must expect to lose face

Confucius say...
Woman who goes to man's apartment for snack, gets titbit.

Confucius say...
Man who lay woman on ground, get peace on earth.

Confucius say...
Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag.

Confucius say...
He who crosses the ocean twice without bathing is a dirty double crosser."

Confucius say...
Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants !"

Confucius say...
"Secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk!"

Confucius say...
Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy...

Confucius say...
Man who eats photograph of his Dad is soon spitting image of his father.

Confucius say...
Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.

Confucius say...
Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself.

Confucius say...
girl who has sex in Egyptian tomb may soon become mummy

Confucius say...
woman is like jazz music---3/4 jazz time and 1/4 rag time.

Confucius say...
He who eat ice cream in car is a Sundae Driver.

Confucius say...
Cows without legs are ground beef

Confucius say...
He who eats crackers in bed get crummy sleep.

Confucius say....
woman who is in love with priest will chase him through church
and grab him by the organ

Confucius say...
Economy will go up and down
when country is run by yo-yo's

Confucius say...
Basketball player who marry midget lady
will be nuts over her

Confucius say...
Chinese couple who have white baby, name it " Sum Ting Wong"

Confucius say...
lady who slide down bannister,get slivers by cracky !

Confucius say...
man who date flat chested woman will be feeling low

Confucius say...
He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end!

Confucius say...
Man who let woman on top, will screw up

Confucius say...
Man who get hit by car,get that run down feeling

Confucius say...
Man with athletic finger make broad jump.

Confucius say...
Sexy typist will bang on keyboard!

Confucius say...
Sumo Wrestling is survival of the fattest.

Confucius say...
'tis better to sleep with old hen, than pullet

Confucius say...
Many men bite , but Fu Man Chu

Confucius say...
Woman who fly airplane upside down
have " crack up "

Confucius say...
Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Confucius say...
Passionate kiss, like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.

Confucius say...
He who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok.

Confucius say...
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long.

Confucius say...
Girl who sit on jockeys lap get hot tip.

Confucius say...
Girl who sits on Judge's lap gets honorable discharge.

Confucius say....
Lady who go camping must beware of evil intent.

Confucius say...
Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.

Confucius say...
Virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone!

Confucius say...
"Foolish man give wife grand piano.
Wise man give wife upright organ."

Confucius say...
"Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it."

Confucius say...
"Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night!"

Confucius say...
"It takes many nails to build crib,
but only one screw to fill it."

Confucius say...
"Man who live in glass house should change in basement."

Confucius say...
"Man who run behind car get exhausted"

Confucius say...
"Woman who wear G-string, high on crack!"

Confucius say...
"Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house."

Confucius say...
"Man who sleep in cat house by day, sleep in doghouse by night."

Confucius say...
"If you park, don't drink, accidents cause people."

Confucius say...
"Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons."

Confucius say...
"Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!"

Confucius say...
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!"

Confucius say...
I'm all out of ideas.
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 5:59:44 PM EDT
Man who pees in fan, stands in yellow rain.
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