Posted: 3/6/2006 1:37:41 AM EDT
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I was just sitting here thinking about how strange people from other parts of the world are. I was doing business a month or so ago with an Indian (hindu) vendor. He looked right at me and said in his most charming voice: "My friend, that is a very nice beard you are having!" A. I have fucking sideburns, not a beard. B. We're not in a gay bath house. C. The guy had hair, I mean like coarse ass black fucking goat hair....growing directly OFF of his ear like 2 inches long. Not OUT of his ear. Right off the fucking top of his ear. How impressed could he be with some sideburns? |
 Funny that theres an "Indian" story tonight... I went to Benihana's for dinner. I was sat a a table with an indian family. Its SoCal...so thats kind of a normal thing here... So all was good..until they threw my "cow" on the grill. I THOUGHT they mom was going to have a heart attack! She glared at my filet, watching it closely, and looked like this ---> as it came in contact with her chicken. Am I a bad person for REALLY enjoying every bite?  |
They double seat at tables in Cali?? That place gets weirder and weirder. |
No, that makes you an excellent person in my estimation. However, she was a hypocrite anyway. If she was really a Hindu she wouldn't be eating meat at all. |
[Brain] Yes. Yes you are a bad person [/Brian] |
They ordered double orders of rice, and had mostly shrimp, and some chicken I DO feel baddish for going "Mmmmmm" as I put the cow to my lips though. I guess it wasn't REALLY necessary...
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Shrimp, chicken, if it was alive they shouldn't be eating it in accordance with those beliefs. If you really wanted to be mean you should have said...."HMMMM....my broiled holy animal tastes excellent, and how are you enjoying your dead uncle?" The point was, if she's eating dead animals she can't really dislike you much for enjoying a cow. Besides, if she can't act respectable towards us eating cows she should really go the fuck back to India. Here in America we kill things and eat them.  For my final rant before going to bed like I should have hours ago..... I occasionally read Indian literature on gemstones. Indians always describe anything yellow in color as being the color of "the urine of the cow." Like that's appealing or something. 
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OMG!! I haven't laughed that hard in a while! I wish I had had that info tonight, I could have gone WAY beyond the "Ummmmmm"  I'm trying to figure out which part of your post to put in my sig! Too many choices.... |
Ahhh ok. Been to something like that, damn good food. |
+1- my liquor consumption has increased 26% since i grew mine.....i don't have any figures on breakage yet, but i was always destructive 
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I'm in IT so I work with a "couple" of Indians. When I was working 3rd shift, I'd order a pizza and then offer it to the Indian DBA. I told him he was welcome to it, but he'd have to scrape off the bits of Sacred Cow. He normally would have some but just take off the meat toppings. :) |
Umm . . . dude? To them it *IS*. Cow urine is a great source of health, according to a lot of Indians. They splash it on themselves, bathe with it, some even drink it. if a cow is wandering down the street and starts taking a leak, they reach in and get some. Oh well. It's probably healthier and more sanitary than bathing in the sacred Ganges River. |
Now if only I could find a way to work that into a sig line... |
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Traditional Hindus do not eat beef. Period. The kshatraya and lower castes eat other meats. The highest caste (Brahmin) are vegetarian. Of course there are lots of folks in all the various castes who eat (or don't eat) things according to their own notions. Those are just the traditional customs. When Hindus want to "move up in the world" and rub elbows with the highest caste folks, they abandon meat altogether like the Brahmins. The stricter the eating observances, the higher status the Hindu. |
So what you're saying is I that I probably shouldn't be shaking hands with these people...
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Hey, you should have just told 'em you're a reincarnivore!
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