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Posted: 3/3/2006 12:33:04 AM EDT
..it's not mine, but im thinking ill take the job. Will someone PLEASE smack some sense into me.

Or am I good guy? I do like her, and I lvoe kids......
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 12:34:49 AM EDT

Originally Posted By FieroLoki:
..it's not mine, but im thinking ill take the job. Will someone PLEASE smack some sense into me.

Or am I good guy? I do like her, and I lvoe kids......







Link Posted: 3/3/2006 12:35:08 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/3/2006 12:36:03 AM EDT by HarrySacz]
You are dating a pregnant woman? I was about to type a meaningful reply until my brain kicked in.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 12:36:14 AM EDT

Originally Posted By HarrySacz:
You are dating a pregnant woman?



Yes..... Figured if i can handle her being prego at the beginning ill be good to go.

Link Posted: 3/3/2006 12:37:41 AM EDT



Well, you KNOW you have to explain this.......

FWIW, my present wife brought 3 kids into the marriage
and I love them to death.

Being a dad has made me a better man.

I'd think long and hard about being a daddy by default
in your situation, from the sound of it on the surface, though.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 12:39:56 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Goonboss:



Well, you KNOW you have to explain this.......

FWIW, my present wife brought 3 kids into the marriage
and I love them to death.

Being a dad has made me a better man.

I'd think long and hard about being a daddy by default
in your situation, from the sound of it on the surface, though.



The "daad" is in jail for drugs. He hit my now G/F as well. And she found out he was/is a sex offender. He will never be alone with his daughter....If she tells him at all... Well, he know she is prego, but she doesnt know what else she will tell him.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 12:43:44 AM EDT

Originally Posted By FieroLoki:

Originally Posted By Goonboss:



Well, you KNOW you have to explain this.......

FWIW, my present wife brought 3 kids into the marriage
and I love them to death.

Being a dad has made me a better man.

I'd think long and hard about being a daddy by default
in your situation, from the sound of it on the surface, though.



The "daad" is in jail for drugs. He hit my now G/F as well. And she found out he was/is a sex offender. He will never be alone with his daughter....If she tells him at all... Well, he know she is prego, but she doesnt know what else she will tell him.



Yikes.

Load some mags for when he gets outta jail.

Boy, first choice: Druggie sex offender. Second choice; You.

She sure can pick 'em.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 12:44:04 AM EDT

Originally Posted By FieroLoki:

Originally Posted By Goonboss:



Well, you KNOW you have to explain this.......

FWIW, my present wife brought 3 kids into the marriage
and I love them to death.

Being a dad has made me a better man.

I'd think long and hard about being a daddy by default
in your situation, from the sound of it on the surface, though.



The "daad" is in jail for drugs. He hit my now G/F as well. And she found out he was/is a sex offender. He will never be alone with his daughter....If she tells him at all... Well, he know she is prego, but she doesnt know what else she will tell him.




your mission, should you choose to accept, is to prevent any of the biological fathers genes from ever becoming pressent in your GF's child....its a daunting task, but a worthy one, especially if hes a sex offender....
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 12:44:49 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Goonboss:

Originally Posted By FieroLoki:

Originally Posted By Goonboss:



Well, you KNOW you have to explain this.......

FWIW, my present wife brought 3 kids into the marriage
and I love them to death.

Being a dad has made me a better man.

I'd think long and hard about being a daddy by default
in your situation, from the sound of it on the surface, though.



The "daad" is in jail for drugs. He hit my now G/F as well. And she found out he was/is a sex offender. He will never be alone with his daughter....If she tells him at all... Well, he know she is prego, but she doesnt know what else she will tell him.



Yikes.

Load some mags for when he gets outta jail.

Boy, first choice: Druggie sex offender. Second choice; You.

She sure can pick 'em.



Shut up and make me a breakfast pizza STAT!!!

Link Posted: 3/3/2006 12:45:33 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Cold:

Originally Posted By FieroLoki:

Originally Posted By Goonboss:



Well, you KNOW you have to explain this.......

FWIW, my present wife brought 3 kids into the marriage
and I love them to death.

Being a dad has made me a better man.

I'd think long and hard about being a daddy by default
in your situation, from the sound of it on the surface, though.



The "daad" is in jail for drugs. He hit my now G/F as well. And she found out he was/is a sex offender. He will never be alone with his daughter....If she tells him at all... Well, he know she is prego, but she doesnt know what else she will tell him.




your mission, should you choose to accept, is to prevent any of the biological fathers genes from ever becoming pressent in your GF's child....its a daunting task, but a worthy one, especially if hes a sex offender....



I havnt had the best life, but if me and the mom stay together, Chloe (daughters name) will grow up in a good household.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 12:46:48 AM EDT
Damn, so you're serious? Just the timing of the post and all, thought you were kidding.

In that case, You're a better man than I. I have no kids, don't want any. So can't imagine taking someone else's in. Call me shallow, but at least I still have free time.

Link Posted: 3/3/2006 12:48:14 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Rakky:
Damn, so you're serious? Just the timing of the post and all, thought you were kidding.

In that case, You're a better man than I. I have no kids, don't want any. So can't imagine taking someone else's in. Call me shallow, but at least I still have free time.




Very serious.

I dotn have a life as it is. All I do is work and sleep, and see her when I do get "SOME" free time.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 12:49:26 AM EDT

Originally Posted By FieroLoki:
..it's not mine, but im thinking ill take the job. Will someone PLEASE smack some sense into me.

Or am I good guy? I do like her, and I lvoe kids......






Would it have made a difference if you met her when he was 2?

If you like her, then this is the best possible step-parent relationship possible.

AND...if you can deal with her hormones NOW...it can only get better. :)
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 12:49:48 AM EDT

Originally Posted By FieroLoki:

Originally Posted By Rakky:
Damn, so you're serious? Just the timing of the post and all, thought you were kidding.

In that case, You're a better man than I. I have no kids, don't want any. So can't imagine taking someone else's in. Call me shallow, but at least I still have free time.




Very serious.

I dotn have a life as it is. All I do is work and sleep, and see her when I do get "SOME" free time.



I thought it was a joke also.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 12:51:44 AM EDT

Originally Posted By HarrySacz:

Originally Posted By FieroLoki:

Originally Posted By Rakky:
Damn, so you're serious? Just the timing of the post and all, thought you were kidding.

In that case, You're a better man than I. I have no kids, don't want any. So can't imagine taking someone else's in. Call me shallow, but at least I still have free time.




Very serious.

I dotn have a life as it is. All I do is work and sleep, and see her when I do get "SOME" free time.



I thought it was a joke also.



FieroLoki and a serious post, who woulda thunk it?
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 12:52:51 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Rakky:

Originally Posted By HarrySacz:

Originally Posted By FieroLoki:

Originally Posted By Rakky:
Damn, so you're serious? Just the timing of the post and all, thought you were kidding.

In that case, You're a better man than I. I have no kids, don't want any. So can't imagine taking someone else's in. Call me shallow, but at least I still have free time.




Very serious.

I dotn have a life as it is. All I do is work and sleep, and see her when I do get "SOME" free time.



I thought it was a joke also.



FieroLoki and a serious post, who woulda thunk it?



Mark your calender
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 12:56:11 AM EDT
How long have y'all been together? Just remember, if y'all break up down the line, you're more than likely going to care for this kid as if it were your own. Might be tough depending on the stability of the relationship.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 12:56:52 AM EDT

Originally Posted By FieroLoki:

Originally Posted By Goonboss:

Originally Posted By FieroLoki:

Originally Posted By Goonboss:



Well, you KNOW you have to explain this.......

FWIW, my present wife brought 3 kids into the marriage
and I love them to death.

Being a dad has made me a better man.

I'd think long and hard about being a daddy by default
in your situation, from the sound of it on the surface, though.



The "daad" is in jail for drugs. He hit my now G/F as well. And she found out he was/is a sex offender. He will never be alone with his daughter....If she tells him at all... Well, he know she is prego, but she doesnt know what else she will tell him.



Yikes.

Load some mags for when he gets outta jail.

Boy, first choice: Druggie sex offender. Second choice; You.

She sure can pick 'em.



Shut up and make me a breakfast pizza STAT!!!






There ya go. Hot and fresh
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 12:57:22 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Rakky:
How long have y'all been together? Just remember, if y'all break up down the line, you're more than likely going to care for this kid as if it were your own. Might be tough depending on the stability of the relationship.



A few months... Yes its not along time. But, theres always a "few months" with someone. Prego or not.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 3:52:47 AM EDT
whats with the drama
your an adult make up your own mind
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 3:55:23 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/3/2006 3:58:42 AM EDT by FieroLoki]
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 3:57:31 AM EDT
It is heady stuff rescuing people. I hope this works out for you. But there needs to be much more to your relationship with "mom" than your ability to take care of her immediate needs. I pray only the very best for you and all concerned.

Does/will druggy dad have any legal rights? If so, you had best gird yourself for some lawyer shit.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 4:01:01 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 4:01:07 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Will-Rogers:
It is heady stuff rescuing people. I hope this works out for you. But there needs to be much more to your relationship with "mom" than your ability to take care of her immediate needs. I pray only the very best for you and all concerned.

Does/will druggy dad have any legal rights? If so, you had best gird yourself for some lawyer shit.



I never gathered he was "rescuing" anyone. Sounds like he really likes this girl and she has kids, so he was just concerned about caring for someone that already has kids and is pregnant and his "instant" fatherhood if they proceed with the relationship.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 4:04:11 AM EDT
Good luck with it, I wouldn't want to be the step-parent .

And from the sounds of the past b/f... is she interested in a CCW?
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 4:04:48 AM EDT
Im not rescui8ng anyone. I like her fo her. I think the kid will just be a bonus since I like kids. She can handle it on her own, we both just want "someone" in our life to spend it with.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 4:05:24 AM EDT

Originally Posted By w4klr:
Good luck with it, I wouldn't want to be the step-parent .

And from the sounds of the past b/f... is she interested in a CCW?



She doesnt like guns. Not against them, just doesnt like them. Im slowly working on that though.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 4:11:20 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 4:12:47 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/3/2006 4:18:39 AM EDT by pyro6988]
At least you don't have to worry about her getting pregnant from you for awhile.


ETA:

In all seriousness I went through the same thing you are going through.

I was 17 at the time and she was 16. When we started dating she was 6 months pregnant. I was with her for 2 and a half years. Having a baby really complicates things. Something that was previously simple like going to the movies, into a major ordeal. Have to find someone to look after the kid and have everything prepared. When you actually take the kid along it takes even longer.

Don't get me wrong, I loved my GF little girl. It is just stuff that I didn't realize that would change.

Link Posted: 3/3/2006 4:32:48 AM EDT
First off, I applaud you for you loyalty and devotion to your g/f, but I do caution you to consider you to consider a few things:

1. You need to decide ASAP whether you want to be daddy to this kid or not. It is not in the child's interest to have father figures who are transitory or temporary. If you are not sure, then the kid does not need to have you as 'dad' until such time as you are permanently in the picture.
2. Does bio-dad even know he is the dad? If not and you want to marry this woman, perhaps she could list you as bio-dad on the birth certificate and giver her your name. Saves trouble with adoption later. Of course, if bio-dad sues for custody, you two will have to decide whether to lie in court and say the child is yours.
3. It is easy to be drawn to a woman in circumstances like this. They are somewhat more vulnerable and uncertain of things, which appeals to the 'protector' side in most males. Before you commit 100% to this relationship, you need to know and love the woman under conditions other than the duress of pregnancy and a abusive ex boyfriend.

Good luck and tell us if it all works out. If it works out, we will all fly to TX and give you one hell of a bachelor party!
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 4:33:28 AM EDT
When her old man gets out you WILL have to deal with him, he will want to see the child or just start shit, but he will show up. Trust me on this, my stepdaughters dad called all hours of the night, made threats, etc. No man likes to see another fill his shoes, even if he does not want the job hisself.Her real dad did 6 1/2 yrs. and is an enforcer for the Banditos in Houston now. We have made our peace, but it was a long road. Do you like to look over your shoulder?You are a young guy i take it, life will get complicated soon enough on it's own.Just food for thought, good luck on your choice. Anybody can be a Daddy, it takes a man to be a father.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 4:37:17 AM EDT
Why do you wish to serve as the cuckold host of a parasite? There are certain animals that lay their eggs in the nests of other species so they won't have to raise the young. I would like to think human beings are above this sort of behavior. Do as you wish, but be aware that there are laws in many states that require the so-called father to play the part of financial supporter for the rest of his life if he chooses to do so in the beginning. When the novelty wears off and you come to the realization that you are wasting your life, the lovely young woman might see fit to drag you into court and demand a good portion of your paycheck.

Galland
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 4:43:15 AM EDT
i'd try to get some legal paperwork done that says you are not the father, or assuming responsibility for the job. i think if you decided to cut and run later (b/c perhaps she'd give it the time of day over you, and wont listen to your suggestions because its "not yours") - i'm pretty sure there are laws that can make you pay child support because you've been the "father figure"

i'd talk to a lawyer or something and see what you can have written up that keeps you from all fiscial responsibilites for this kid of hers.

although i guess you are not married, so it might not be the same. but if i was stepping into a potential mine field, you better bet i'd watch where i stepped! (check anyways!)
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 4:48:24 AM EDT
Look on the bright side.....you know she puts out.

But seriously, are you fucking nuts??????

and this:

we both just want "someone" in our life to spend it with.



that sounds like a shitty reason

get a dog
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 4:48:50 AM EDT
watch out for the child support, if you step in as a father figure you could end up paying child support.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 4:56:10 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Aimless:
She got pregnant by a woman beating, drug dealing, child molesting jail bird? No offense, but those are quite a few character flaws to "miss" in someone before having sex with them.



Well the sex ofender thing came after he went to jail. She did know about the drugs, and as far as him hitting her, apparently she didnt see it coming. Mistakes were made, we all make them.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 5:51:42 AM EDT
As long as you are REALLY aware of the consequences of your decision and the long sometimes hard road ahead of you...go for it!

Link Posted: 3/3/2006 5:56:30 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 6:16:02 AM EDT
Wow, the exact same situation as my brother-in-law twenty years ago. My sis was pregnant and a really good guy wanted to help her out, etc. They are still married but he is hardly a shell of the man he could have been if he would have stayed away from her. If you really are here looking for advice I'd say to get the hell out and never look back. Either mom, baby, her family, or the real daddy will make your life suck until you're lucky enough to die someday.

Get a dog.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 6:20:51 AM EDT

Originally Posted By FieroLoki:

Originally Posted By Aimless:
She got pregnant by a woman beating, drug dealing, child molesting jail bird? No offense, but those are quite a few character flaws to "miss" in someone before having sex with them.



Well the sex ofender thing came after he went to jail. She did know about the drugs, and as far as him hitting her, apparently she didnt see it coming. Mistakes were made, we all make them.



Ya like dating a pregnant chick, this shit should be on Jerry Springer. So how did this relationship start, how do you pick up a preggo.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 6:55:30 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/3/2006 6:55:54 AM EDT by TomF32]
Run, run as fast as you can, and don't look back
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 7:01:05 AM EDT
By Texas laws, you shack up, it's the same as married. ............
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 7:01:32 AM EDT
I would not stay in the relationship. The child is not your responsibility. If you only have a little spare time now, how much time do you think she'll have for you once the baby comes. This won't turn out well, you guys will be in a relationship in which you started with a child, and not yours to boot. Move on man.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 7:02:18 AM EDT
The three of you aren't going to fit in the Fiero.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 7:04:09 AM EDT
[hijack] Completely off topic. Aimless, what the hell is that on your penguins head? [/hijack]

CO
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 7:07:07 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/3/2006 7:08:46 AM EDT by dport]
You said you like her, but love her kids.

You're getting it backwards.

First, in order to be a stepfather, you must be married to their mother. Otherwise, you're just the latest guy mom's fucking.

Second, if you and her don't work out, what will that do to the kids. Don't be selfish about this. Think of the children and what impact it will have on the kids when you realize you got married only because you liked the idea of being a dad and didn't really love the mom.

Grow up, quite being selfish and realize there are children who can be crushed if this relationship ends up on Springer.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 7:08:03 AM EDT

Originally Posted By NoVaGator:
Look on the bright side.....you know she puts out.

But seriously, are you fucking nuts??????

and this:

we both just want "someone" in our life to spend it with.



that sounds like a shitty reason

get a dog


No shit.
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 7:16:07 AM EDT
A shallow person - not a deep thinker like myself - might point out that there will be no sex or sleep for the next year, her perky 36 C's will become 36 Longs that lead your eyes to her stretch marks, and that you have better than a 50/50 chance of eventually paying child support for a kid that's not yours.

Link Posted: 3/3/2006 7:23:43 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/3/2006 4:47:19 PM EDT by pattymcn]
Rodent that was just not nice! [could be true but not nice!]


FieroLoki I doubt you'll take my advice but here it is anyway.

First tell her you need a week away from her with no contact. That means no phone calls, no emails, no text messages, nada zip. She can only call if she goes into labor.

Next read Dr. Laura's book 10 stupid things men do to screw up their lives and 10 stupid things couples do to screw up their relationship.

If after no contact what so ever you still like her -- propose to her. You can set the date from a year from now but you shouldn't date a woman with a child that you're not serious with. Its cruel to the child. You've got one kid already that's missing you, you don't want two.

Best of luck. Patty
PS I'll send you the books if you want them.

No one listens to me or Dr. Laura!
Link Posted: 3/3/2006 7:26:01 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Rodent:
A shallow person - not a deep thinker like myself - might point out that there will be no sex or sleep for the next year, her perky 36 C's will become 36 Longs that lead your eyes to her stretch marks, and that you have better than a 50/50 chance of eventually paying child support for a kid that's not yours.






Holy crap that was funny.

Link Posted: 3/3/2006 7:44:34 AM EDT

Originally Posted By FieroLoki:
Im not rescui8ng anyone. I like her fo her. I think the kid will just be a bonus since I like kids. She can handle it on her own, we both just want "someone" in our life to spend it with.



Proceed with caution to not make this decision on the basis of the child alone. You can be there for her and help her and see how things go. One thing you need to keep in mind is the ex boy friend, father of the child, sooner or later you are going to have to deal with him. I would suggest waiting longer to make sure you are not being used.
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