User Panel
User Panel
User Panel
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 7:51:36 AM EDT
[#1]
Sounds like one hell of a situation you have gonntn yourself into. But if you truly love her and feel that you can be a good responsible father then go for it. And don't screw the daughters life up more than it already is.
Keep a loaded gun around at all times if the SOB ever gets out of jail. |
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 7:53:00 AM EDT
[#2]
Don't do it. She needs time to spend with the kid and whether you like it or not you are not the father. Once the baby comes, the baby will be her first and only priority and you will be something else. Nothing is worse than discovering that you can love another mans child like it is yours but having a wife that does not think of you as the childs father.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 7:53:35 AM EDT
[#3]
what the guy said above.
Play a roll, but do not 'assume' the fraternal position out of conveinance to her. |
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 7:57:09 AM EDT
[#4]
Remember you heard it here first: Once she has the baby, you'll go from being the focal point of her universe to being some toad with a little dick who doesn't make enough and won't leave her alone.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 7:59:10 AM EDT
[#5]
There's alot of anger in you brother. 
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 8:11:01 AM EDT
[#6]
Two things that you need to consider:
1. If you marry her, you will not only be bringing her and her daughter into your life, you will be bringing the dirtbag father into your life as well. You can "load up your mags" all you want, but what if he presents you with no physical threat, but instead makes your life a stress-filled hell? You won't be able to remove him from your life, the courts will see to that. 2. Your girlfriend has already demonstrated piss-poor judgement when it comes to men (I'm not referring to you.) She probably dated the dirtbag father because he was "dangerous" and "exciting." What happens when she decides you're just not exciting enough for her? Another thing to consider, she will have a continuing relationship with said dirtbag father that you will not be a part of (don't delude yourself on this point), simply because he is the father of her child. Are you able to deal with this? Tread carefully grasshopper. Good luck. |
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 8:20:54 AM EDT
[#7]
My advise. Forget about her being pregnant and just go about the whole dating thing as normal as if she wasn't pregnant. If it works out in the end then you become an instant Dad with a woman you love. If it doesn't work out then your free to move on with no strings attached. But don't rush anything just because she is pregnant and you like kids because in 2-4 years you will be miserable.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 8:36:48 AM EDT
[#8]
This is sound advice. Get the dirt bag taken care of legally first thing. Restraining order, work out the legal details about him and the upcoming child, etc. GET THIS IN WRITING FIRST!!!! also, tag for the eventual thread when said dirt bag gets out of jail and comes back into your lives. 
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 8:39:16 AM EDT
[#9]
Tag for reference in soon to be authored "FieroLoki's Offical Divorce Thread".
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 8:42:05 AM EDT
[#10]
You know, there are easier ways to get on the jerry springer show.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 8:44:05 AM EDT
[#11]
Dude, can you say "hormones"? You haven't even MET the woman yet. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 8:47:19 AM EDT
[#12]
How does one ignore the pregnancy of a woman who's due to hatch in three weeks? |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 8:48:47 AM EDT
[#13]
YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD!!! |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 9:10:55 AM EDT
[#14]
You're nuts.
And you're about to make the mistake of a lifetime. I'll also give you my wife's comment: [sarcasm]Yeah, tell him to go ahead and do it. [sarcasm]  But she thinks this place is worse than a soap opera given some of the threads. As for me, I will tell you people are at their nuttiest in March. Worse than the holidays BY FAR. I always dread March for all the psycho bullshit. |
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:00:39 PM EDT
[#15]
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:11:07 PM EDT
[#16]
I have a 9 year old step daughter who i love like my own. Ive never heard those words from her.She calls me dad and likes to shoot her 22.
|
||
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:11:15 PM EDT
[#17]
When the father gets out of jail, $100 says she will go back with him and you will be one miserable SOB.
Run Forest, run!!!!! |
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:13:32 PM EDT
[#18]
someone slap some sense into him.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:15:11 PM EDT
[#19]
When you get convicted of domestic violence for getting into a shoving match with the baby's father, don't say we didn't tell you so.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:16:07 PM EDT
[#20]
read up on cowbirds.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:19:32 PM EDT
[#21]
I have a 9 year old step daughter who i love like my own. Ive never heard those words from her.She calls me dad and likes to shoot her 22.
A 9 year old female and a 15 year old female are two different animals. |
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:19:46 PM EDT
[#22]
If you take on all the fatherly duties, and get attached to the kid like a father should, you will have virtually no rights for visitation with the kid "IF" the relationship ends.
You're doing an honorable thing. |
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:23:06 PM EDT
[#23]
Very true,her birth father died when she was a few months old,so i am the only father figure she has ever had. So far so good. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:25:03 PM EDT
[#24]
 to you. All we are trying (desperately) to tell FieroLoki is that he has the deck of cards stacked against him and he should really sit back and reflect on all the ramifications of the decision he is about to make. Moreover, I don't think the problem will be between FieroLoki and his potential step-daughter, but between the protagonists with the Love Triangle he is setting up. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:28:23 PM EDT
[#25]
You like her, not love her? |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:30:22 PM EDT
[#26]
Run Forrest, Run!! |
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:30:39 PM EDT
[#27]
Dude, I think that is nuts, with all due respect of course. Its only been a few months? I think there is a high likelyhood she is playing you for a sucker. She knows the biological father will never amount to jack and won't take care of the kids. Then you happen along, and she sweeps you up fast. She knows that as soon as that little sucker pops out, and if she keeps you for long enough, YOU will be on the hook till the little guy/girl is 18!!!!! Even is you break up!!!! Sorry man, I just don't think it is worth the risk. Take off the shining armor and put on some track shoes....Run Forest Run!!!!! |
||
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:38:51 PM EDT
[#28]
Yup -- please listen to these guys and at least be cautious. You can be the father if you really want to in a few years, but once you're on that birth certificate you're screwed for the rest of your life. Slow it down man. There are LOTS of girls out there -- and I really do understand wanting to do the best thing and be the good guy, but this is not cool - take your time.
Do you think Jack Bauer would do this? 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 3:03:55 PM EDT
[#29]
I'd give it a min of 2 years before getting married. Some women have a habit of throwing everything away as soon a the xboy friend is released from jail and calls.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 3:20:24 PM EDT
[#30]
So why can't you get a woman without baggage.
Normally I would say stay away as a child does not need to bond with the new dad of the month club, only to be hurt when new dad leaves again, but this kids too young to be effected by your leaving. So I would reccomend you date not live together for a year, then get married if you are still so inclined. |
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 3:21:38 PM EDT
[#31]
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 3:36:04 PM EDT
[#32]
Let me get this right......
A woman gets pregnant by a scumbag who goes to jail. You meet her and have been with her for a few months. She is now going to have the child. You want to be the "father" to the child in hopes it will lead to marriage or some such thing. So, all in all, you are a sucker and going to ruin your life. Good luck with that. |
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 3:46:00 PM EDT
[#33]
My name wont be on the BC. And we wont get married for sometime if we do. Just enjoying one day at a time. |
||
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 3:47:34 PM EDT
[#34]
I like her, and I love kids. As in kids in general. As far as growing up, im more grown up than alot of people in this forum. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 4:10:25 PM EDT
[#35]
So you "like" her but want to marry her to save her and her doper BF's kid? For all you know the kid is Bin Laden's in the first place. And you think that is mature thinking?? It is infantile, I am sorry to say. Only a very immature individual thinks like this and you won't save her, the kid or anyone else. Pull your head out of your ass and grow up. Yes, grow up. Find someone without baggage. Walk now! Yes, NOW!!!! In a short time you will be VERY glad you did. Of course the alternative may be attractive to you: 4 failed marriages, while paying out the ass for the rest of your life supporting kids who are not yours and dying a poor man, all alone. This is a life shaping decision bud and you are at a major crossroads here it sounds like. Taking the wrong path will only bring you pain and a disaster of a life. I will never understand the attraction to chicks with baggage. I swear some of you think those bags are full of gold or something.
|
||
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 4:17:09 PM EDT
[#36]
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 4:19:19 PM EDT
[#37]
Dude, hop on the clue train. I hear one pulling into the station right about now.... |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 4:22:57 PM EDT
[#38]
I hear what everyone is saying. Doesnt mean im going to drop her just because she is prego. I like her. Prego or not. |
||
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 4:31:14 PM EDT
[#39]
You aren't trying to convince me. You are trying to convince yourself. Even though came here ostensibly looking for the opposite. I am trying to persuade not to make the mistake of your life, not interfere with your happiness bud. IIRC that is what you came here for. Even if you didn't say so that is waht you need, probably really want deep down, though superficially you may think you want everyone to tell you what a great guy you would be for screwing your life. Rubbish. |
||
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 4:37:31 PM EDT
[#40]
That isn't exactly shining through at this point. You posted on here to get opinions, and now you're arguing with the people that are giving them. Based on the situation, you should have come to arfcom and asked, "I'm thinking of checking the sharpness of my axe by whacking myself in the forehead as hard as I can. Is that a good idea?" You are asking if you should saddle up with a girl thats preggers by a bad guy that is jail. What on earth do the think the advice from this board would be? If you want someone to tell you to be there for her and the baby, showering them with love and support, and forgetting about what is best for you then head to the DU for that crap. Do you really want your child to be involved with baby's daddy when he gets out of the clink? Its time to be a father and a man. Sorry, but those are the facts and your kid deserves a better situation than dad opening the door to a shitstorm. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 4:43:04 PM EDT
[#41]
Well, I know what I know. I know I liker her and dont care that she is pregnant. If we get married then i will treat the kid as my own. No I wont the the biological dad, but that doesnt mean shit. Guess I should have known this would go like this, but I did anyway. I am hearing what everyone is saying and I have things to think over, btu it doesnt change the fact I like her. No I dont love her, but ive been hurt in the past so im not letting myself love fast. I enjoy my time with her when I get a chance to be with her, and ill enjoy my time with her after the baby is born.
If we work out we work out, if we dont we dont. Just like any other relationship. |
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 4:43:28 PM EDT
[#42]
Here's your first post:
That, right there, is the only intelligent thing you have said in this thread. If you were my son and I'll bet I have one close to your age, I'd bounce his ass right off a wall. Where is your father to smack some sense into you?
I rest my case. |
||
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 4:46:27 PM EDT
[#43]
For crying out loud, you are sounding like a 8year old. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 4:46:33 PM EDT
[#44]
Im nearly 30, and no you wouldnt be bouncing my ass off a wall cause of my choice. |
|||
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 4:47:11 PM EDT
[#45]
Your opinion is welcome like anyone elses. |
||
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 4:54:13 PM EDT
[#46]
30???? You have got to be shitting me? And you've learned nothing about women? About life? No, I won't be bouncing you off anything. You ain't my son. If you were, and you were 30, I wouldn't be bouncing you off a wall, I'd just kick your ass, serious like. Dammnnnnnn! Bud, you are a lost cause. I was hoping we could talk some sense into you. |
||||
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 4:55:23 PM EDT
[#47]
FieroLoki I admire your wiliness to be part of this child's life but you're playing a game of roulette with her. Children do not give relationships a try. They love with all their heart and soul and if you're not committed to this child's mother you will break her heart and impact her for the rest of her life. It is very irresponsible to say "I like the mother and I love kids so we'll see where this goes." What a child needs is stability, not two adolescents playing Mummy and Daddy.
What we're talking about is Character. People have already pointed out the potential of your girl friend from her actions selecting a mate to make a baby with but lets take it a bit further: 1: it is extremely selfish of her to be putting herself on the meat market in the first place. Selfish to you and selfish to her baby. You might think you're not rescuing her that you're going to see where this may lead but I guarantee you a woman 9 months pregnant with their first child is building a nest and you're the Daddy bird. I really challenge you to go back a couple of pages and see what I wrote. If you truly care about children [this one and your own] you will take a more responsible attitude here. Patty |
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 4:57:23 PM EDT
[#48]
Well, this has gone to the shitter cause some assholes cant live with my own choices. Yes I going over things, but damn. People say i need to grow up, they need to look in the fucking mirror. Good day assholes.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 4:58:04 PM EDT
[#49]
You've caused me to agree w/ Jarhead on domestic issues and that just pisses me off even more.
Why don't you leave some snakes and drain cleaner around your kid as well, they'll have the same effect as bringing the ex into your life. You might have spent 30 years on this rock, but if this is something you're considering then you haven't learned shit. |
|
|
|
Posted: 3/3/2006 4:58:38 PM EDT
[#50]
 you remind me of the dad from That Seventies Show and FieroLoki is the bonehead son
|
|
|
|
Win a FREE Membership!
Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. One new winner* is announced every week!
You will receive an email every Friday morning featuring the latest chatter from the hottest topics, breaking news surrounding legislation, as well as exclusive deals only available to ARFCOM email subscribers.
AR15.COM is the world's largest firearm community and is a gathering place for firearm enthusiasts of all types.
From hunters and military members, to competition shooters and general firearm enthusiasts, we welcome anyone who values and respects the way of the firearm.
Subscribe to our monthly Newsletter to receive firearm news, product discounts from your favorite Industry Partners, and more.
Copyright © 1996-2024 AR15.COM LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Any use of this content without express written consent is prohibited.
AR15.Com reserves the right to overwrite or replace any affiliate, commercial, or monetizable links, posted by users, with our own.
