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Posted: 2/23/2006 11:42:59 AM EDT
So I've been with my girl for 7 years since she was 15. I'm 25, she's 23.

For the past 3 years it has been nothing but fighting over getting married, to the point that life together wasn't fun anymore for either of us, but for some reason we kept trying. I kept saying we can't get married when we fight like this, she kept saying, "WHY WON'T YOU #^%$^%$ ASK MEEEE!"

You'd think me having to jump behind a tree to keep from getting run over would have been my big hint a couple years ago, but ya know.

So my bro is 30, been with a girl for 4 months, and is now engaged. My g/f is on her way up for the weekend (she lives 5 hours away now), and I told her he's engaged.

This was then followed by a rage the likes of which no man should ever see. Hollaring, cussing, top of the lungs screaming at what a POS I am. I feel bad, I know it's my fault for trying to stick it through and make it work for so long, but it's time for her to be happy too.

So... I'm leaving work early to hide my guns before she gets there cause I'm afraid she may be waiting for me with them when I get home. She's not a psycho, she's a great girl, just really hurt because we're both finally realizing it's just not going to work.

Any advice?
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 11:44:39 AM EDT
Sounds like you got it figured out, man. It can be tough, I've been there.

You're both realizing that you want different things. I can see her getting sad about not being married, but actually raging because someone else got engaged instead of her is a little out there.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 11:45:46 AM EDT
It will be difficult and probably unpleasant, but at the very least, try some time apart. Then decide to move on or not.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 11:48:21 AM EDT
Only my opinion, but you need to kick this one well past the curb. You think all that rage is going to go away after she gets the ring? At this point I'd hit it one more time and during the cuddletalk I'd send her packing. If she was the one for you then you'd already be engaged. Move along.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 11:49:02 AM EDT
In my experience...Women that flip out because you haven't married them, will still flip out after you've married them....

Hopefully, Your Mileage Will Vary
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 11:50:50 AM EDT
If I was in your shoes, I would look like this little guy:

Girlfriend <--------------------------------- -------------------->

Link Posted: 2/23/2006 11:51:41 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/23/2006 12:03:12 PM EDT by FLAL1A]
No offense, but you're a slow learner. Here's hoping you're a faster runner, if you catch my drift.

ETA: Screaming and otherwise pitching a hysterical fit because you won't do what she wants - unless what she's trying to get you to do is pull her bleeding ass out of shark-infested water - is NOT normal. It is pathological, and should not be tolerated. She has done everything but send you a telegram saying that she will make you wish you were dead.

I have never understood the people of both sexes who put up with that shit and think "Everybody argues." Nobody at my house screams or threatens anybody. Nobody calls anybody else ugly names. Nobody makes tearful, tremble-chinned accusations against anybody else. If that stuff is happening in your home or relationship, something is very very wrong. Normal, healthy people do not try to intimidate or manipulate their intimates.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 11:52:34 AM EDT

Originally Posted By REALM:
You'd think me having to jump behind a tree to keep from getting run over would have been my big hint a couple years ago, but ya know.



So... I'm leaving work early to hide my guns before she gets there cause I'm afraid she may be waiting for me with them when I get home. She's not a psycho, she's a great girl, just really hurt because we're both finally realizing it's just not going to work.

Any advice?



Might be waiting with your guns? Not psycho? A great girl?

I had a girl like her about 10 yrs ago. I dumped her ass and had to get a EPO on her to get her to leave me alone!

I don't think I would ask her to marry me if I were you but, I don't know all of the facts either.


Link Posted: 2/23/2006 11:52:56 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/23/2006 11:55:02 AM EDT by Boom_Stick]




Get out of this one. Think she'll deal with lifes problems and issues better (no yelling screaming, etc...) once you get married?

It'll be tough, but once your past it and find someone else who's better you'll never look back.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 11:53:12 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 11:54:02 AM EDT
Dude,

sounds like it's FAR past time to kick her to the
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 11:54:28 AM EDT
Dude... you started when you were children. What you wanted at 15? You don't even care about at 21. How can you expect to mature together in a manner which keeps you compatible when you are both in the throws of your most formative changing? Even at 23, you are barely adults, and you both don't even know yourselves yet. I look back at 25 at age 35 and wonder if the shift will be as radical looking back in 10 years at 45.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 11:55:02 AM EDT
The temper tantrums will NOT go away after you are married. Trust me...
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 11:55:30 AM EDT
The one good aspect of this situation is that you haven't married her and won't lose your shit in a divorce. What you are experiencing now is the same thing you'd be experiencing if you'd married her 5 years ago. Run.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 11:55:53 AM EDT
Move on and soon.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 11:56:11 AM EDT
Change the locks and move on.

CHANGE THE LOCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 11:58:08 AM EDT
Saw this on another thread a while back. Saved it and uploaded it myself for future use.

Link Posted: 2/23/2006 11:58:09 AM EDT
Sounds to me like you've wasted teh last 7 years of your life with this girl.
You'll know when she is the right one, and this one you obviously know isn't.
you are just using her (or her you) for sex.
move on with your life.


You asked.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 11:59:41 AM EDT
You guys are all right!!

I'm hittin' the road and that's a fact. I just gotta make it through the next few days without her flippin' out on me.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:00:23 PM EDT
Go ahead and marry her, she'll settle down and make a great wife...

<­BR>

OK, that was bull. Get her the hell out of your life in the next five minutes.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:00:41 PM EDT

.......a rage the likes of which no man should ever see.

.........cussing, top of the lungs screaming at what a POS I am.

........She's not a psycho, she's a great girl....

Any advice?



You're too young for that.........move on.

Life has a great meny interesting things for you.............move on.

Trust me.........you will NEVER find happiness with that!.........................move on, don't look back.

It's not worth it...................move on.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:07:04 PM EDT

Originally Posted By photokirk:
The temper tantrums will NOT go away after you are married. Trust me...



Oh God I know this to be true all too well.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:07:25 PM EDT
The smart man wouldn't hide the guns, the smart man would change the locks.

Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:08:15 PM EDT
Dump That Bitch.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:09:37 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/23/2006 12:10:08 PM EDT by Boom_Stick]

Originally Posted By REALM:
You guys are all right!!

I'm hittin' the road and that's a fact. I just gotta make it through the next few days without her flippin' out on me.


Good deal!

Just keep some physical distance and tell her all the reasons why your dumping her, that way she'll learn something.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:09:41 PM EDT
Dont forget the breakup sex before you kick her to the curb.

Bob
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:09:48 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Wombat_SCSO:
Saw this on another thread a while back. Saved it and uploaded it myself for future use.

i11.photobucket.com/albums/a172/wombatman77/exit.jpg


Great.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:11:28 PM EDT
Dump her or marry her... seems simple.

Don't want to marry her? Dump her.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:12:00 PM EDT
Oh, CHANGE THE LOCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:15:47 PM EDT
bail out

be nice but dont sugar coat it

the friends bullshit aint for ex's - very rarely

appreciate the time y'all hung out and move on. It sounds like you know the answer - so get on with it already and dont make a weekend out of it....
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:15:53 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/23/2006 12:19:45 PM EDT by motown_steve]
She's got a right to be pissed. You've been dragging this shit out for 7 years. Either dump her or marry her.

Oh, and if you do decide to dump her then don't expect it to be friendly in any way shape or form. The woman has invested 1/3 of her short life with you and you're going to flush that down the toilet. She's going to be hurt and then she's going to be seriously pissed. To an extent, you have it coming. You don't have any plans of marrying her and you know it...but you've dragged the relationship out for years anyways, even though you knew what she wanted. Sounds to me like she's a nice comfortor for you and you're keeping her around for that reason. If she was smart she would have read the writing on the wall and dumped your ass a long time ago so she could find a man who would marry her.

If there's one thing that I hate more than crazy bitches then it's the guys who make them that way.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:19:16 PM EDT
hey bama-

think he should change the locks?
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:19:49 PM EDT

Originally Posted By motown_steve:
She's got a right to be pissed. You've been dragging this shit out for 7 years. Either dump her or marry her.

Oh, and if you do decide to dump her then don't expect it to be friendly in any way shape or form. The woman has invested 1/3 of her short life with you and you're going to flush that down the toilet. She's going to be hurt and then she's going to be seriously pissed. To an extent, you have it coming. You don't have any plans of marrying her and you know it. Sounds to me like she's a nice comfortor for you and you're keeping her around for that reason. If she was smart she would have read the writing on the wall and dumped your ass a long time ago so she could find a man who would marry her.

If there's one thing that I hate more than crazy bitches then it's the guys who make them that way.



Huge +1.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:20:14 PM EDT
Get out ASAP!!!!

I know you like her, but use yer 'nads for something important - like getting the fuck away from her!
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:22:44 PM EDT
You are acting like her going psycho is YOUR fault. It ain't. It's her fault. GET OUT NOW!

This kind of behavior is never acceptable. I know it's hard to believe, but there are women out there who are not slaves to their emotions. My wife (when she is not pregnant) is level-headed, communicative, and never ever blames me for things that are not my fault. This is why I married her, and dumped the emotional freaks I dated before.

KICK IT TO THE CURB!!
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:24:11 PM EDT
Dump her wisely & quickly.

One little ole' domestic violence lovers spat involving the popo you and & the sweet little misses and you can kiss your gun rights GOOD-BYE for LIFE !

Get rid of that psycho now.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:24:26 PM EDT

Originally Posted By happycynic:

Originally Posted By motown_steve:
She's got a right to be pissed. You've been dragging this shit out for 7 years. Either dump her or marry her.

Oh, and if you do decide to dump her then don't expect it to be friendly in any way shape or form. The woman has invested 1/3 of her short life with you and you're going to flush that down the toilet. She's going to be hurt and then she's going to be seriously pissed. To an extent, you have it coming. You don't have any plans of marrying her and you know it. Sounds to me like she's a nice comfortor for you and you're keeping her around for that reason. If she was smart she would have read the writing on the wall and dumped your ass a long time ago so she could find a man who would marry her.

If there's one thing that I hate more than crazy bitches then it's the guys who make them that way.



Huge +1.



I've got to agree a little with this. The girl obviously has issues, but I would be surprised if she didn't after investing 7 years with a guy who can't commit.

Either fish or cut bait.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:24:37 PM EDT
Well, let's see here:

* She wants to get married, for whatever reason.
* You don't, for whatever reason.
* She called you a POS, and went on a tirade because your brother got engaged.
* She has caused you enough concern to warrant securing your firearms.


Gee, I don't know. Break up with her?
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:25:10 PM EDT
Now, to play the devil's advocate....

What the hell did you expect?

She is a woman, who probably always dreamed of getting married.

She obviously decided long ago she wanted to marry YOU.

She probably saw all of her friends get married, and start families.

It is no wonder she gets cranky.

Was she like this before she wanted to get married? I doubt it.

If you have been leading her on for the past several years, then you are an ass.

If you don't want to marry her, then you must break it off ASAP.

If you think you could marry her, what is stopping you?

Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:26:44 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Napoleon_Tanerite:
hey bama-

think he should change the locks?



Hell, yes! Come home one day and all your shit is trashed.

Never ever break up with chick and don't change the locks.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:27:41 PM EDT

Originally Posted By motown_steve:
She's got a right to be pissed. You've been dragging this shit out for 7 years. Either dump her or marry her.


If there's one thing that I hate more than crazy bitches then it's the guys who make them that way.



+1

grow a set and drive 5 hours to see HER and tell her.

If you are done with the relationship, and you let her drive 5 hours to see you then break up,Your'e a dick and deserve what you get.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:28:39 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Brians_45:
If I was in your shoes, I would look like this little guy:

Girlfriend <--------------------------------- -------------------->








+1
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:30:40 PM EDT

Originally Posted By The_Reaper:
Now, to play the devil's advocate....

What the hell did you expect? Probably some civility, or at least some self control to reduce the fits of rage.

She is a woman, who probably always dreamed of getting married. No excuse to go absofrigginlutely nuts about it

She obviously decided long ago she wanted to marry YOU. they got together when they were in their mid-teens. she hasnt even explored the alternatives... there are plenty of other guys to stalk!

She probably saw all of her friends get married, and start families. they're only 22 or so, i doubt it.

It is no wonder she gets cranky. of course, she's a woman.

Was she like this before she wanted to get married? I doubt it. She probably had something else to get worked up about. There may be ONE hotbutton issue, but i bet she acts irrationally regarding other subjects too

If you have been leading her on for the past several years, then you are an ass. if the answer has consistently been NO, i dont see how that is leading anyone on

If you don't want to marry her, then you must break it off ASAP. +eleventybillion

If you think you could marry her, what is stopping you? probably the fits of psychopathic RAGE


Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:32:14 PM EDT
Dude, you know you're tired of hitting it.

Move on to some strange.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:34:51 PM EDT

Originally Posted By motown_steve:
She's got a right to be pissed. You've been dragging this shit out for 7 years. Either dump her or marry her.

Oh, and if you do decide to dump her then don't expect it to be friendly in any way shape or form. The woman has invested 1/3 of her short life with you and you're going to flush that down the toilet. She's going to be hurt and then she's going to be seriously pissed. To an extent, you have it coming. You don't have any plans of marrying her and you know it...but you've dragged the relationship out for years anyways, even though you knew what she wanted. Sounds to me like she's a nice comfortor for you and you're keeping her around for that reason. If she was smart she would have read the writing on the wall and dumped your ass a long time ago so she could find a man who would marry her.

If there's one thing that I hate more than crazy bitches then it's the guys who make them that way.



I have to agree...



It sounds like your relationship has turned into the security blanket scenario, and those blankets burn real slow, causing allot of painful scars along the way.

At least call it off for now. You’re in a RUT. Get your head straight.
She might not be psycho but you guys might be feeding each others angry flames.
Marriage will not help that issue.

One of my best friends just went through this last year.
They had dated off and on for 8 yrs with lots of fighting. They were in a rut and she wanted something different. She nagged and nagged her BF about getting married and having kids. He never asked. She finally walked away from the security of the rut, bought her own house. He freaked and immediately asked her to marry him. But her getting away from the rut let her know real quick that he wasn’t what she really wanted. She was just all wrapped up in the big pretty wedding idea. ( I think because all of his friends were getting married and having kids) Thank goodness she got her head on straight.
She is single now and happier then I have ever seen her.

It sounds like you have made up your mind. It is a hard thing to do, but you and she will be much happier in the long run.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:35:09 PM EDT

Ride the rocket.

Kharn
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:37:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By motown_steve:
She's got a right to be pissed. You've been dragging this shit out for 7 years. Either dump her or marry her.

Oh, and if you do decide to dump her then don't expect it to be friendly in any way shape or form. The woman has invested 1/3 of her short life with you and you're going to flush that down the toilet. She's going to be hurt and then she's going to be seriously pissed. To an extent, you have it coming. You don't have any plans of marrying her and you know it...but you've dragged the relationship out for years anyways, even though you knew what she wanted. Sounds to me like she's a nice comfortor for you and you're keeping her around for that reason. If she was smart she would have read the writing on the wall and dumped your ass a long time ago so she could find a man who would marry her.

If there's one thing that I hate more than crazy bitches then it's the guys who make them that way.



BIG +1. Sure, your GF is acting nuts, but it's largely your fault. You've wasted some of the best years of her life and you don't even care. All you care about is getting away from her unscathed as you rip out her heart and stomp on it.

Someday you'll grow up and regret this (not dumping her, but the way you've treated her). I hope it happens before you find another woman to mess up.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:40:41 PM EDT
She wants to be married. You are just a means to that end.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:42:10 PM EDT
I can't believe nobody's asked this yet!
What does she look like?
How big are her cans?
It's really really tough to break up with a nice set of cans that you have unlimited access to.
Plus she lives far away now so it's even better for you because it must seem like you're dating.
Tough call man.
But she does sound a little nuts.
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:42:34 PM EDT

Originally Posted By REALM:
Any advice?



What do you own that she wants half of so fucking bad?

You'd best run like hell dude. NOW.
Before she locks you in with the ol' "I'm pregnant!"
Link Posted: 2/23/2006 12:42:39 PM EDT

Originally Posted By REALM:
I kept saying we can't get married when we fight like this, she kept saying, "WHY WON'T YOU #^%$^%$ ASK MEEEE!"



Howcome she's not proposing to you if she's so damned interested in getting married?

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