DRUGS??

Wow, what a good Dad.  At the same time, it sounds like you've done far too much for your Son...and he's learned to take you for granted.

Sheesh, my Dad has been the opposite...hasn't done much for me my whole life, and made me feel like an ass almost every time I needed or wanted anything from/with him.

I'm not like that with my Daughter, but I certainly don't go overboard with what I do for her, and she fully respects and appreciates what I DO do for her.

If I were you, I'd check your motivations/intentions, and adjust your approach until the shit get's a clue.  It has to be balanced.  

Quoted: ...to be honest, it was the wife that made him rotten.   In any event... yes... he is a "privileged" child but------  is it to late to make any positive changes in him???? lawdog

It's not the wife that makes a boy rotten, it's the Father that didn't teach the Son respect, duty, commitment, appreciation, etc.  It's the Father's job to deliver these things, and if the Father doesn't take care of this piece...then a woman takes over.  God only knows what happens to boys/men when that happens. (obviously, you do)

It's not too late to make positive changes in yourself, and do it in a way where your Son follows suit - if he wants a relationship and support from good ole' Dad, that is.  Don't be disrespected, hold your ground.  Next time if that happens, take his damn car and drive yourself home.  

Quoted: Sounds like someone spoiled his son, didnt teach him to appreciate or respect others, and now you are reaping what you sowed. And we wonder why america is fucked up.

Yeah, pretty much sums it up for me.

Stomp his ass and remind him whose cock made who!  

Quoted: He's just angry because his glock won't shoot itself in the sun, like yours.

When I was 16 and feeling strong one day I popped off too my father! When I woke up he told me to clean up the mess from the glass of milk that fell on the floor when he hit me. He never said a word about the incident after that.

A few years later when I needed money although I didn't ask and never would my father drove 600 miles and gave me a few hundred dollars. He came in person to make sure I was OK.  I was 27.

My siblings have numerous personal problems and are constantly in his pocket. I was the oldest so I felt the brunt of his rath and blazed the trail for my siblings and his more moderate behavior twoard them. They still live in the same town.  Have OK jobs but live paycheck to paycheck.

I joined the military and saw the world, I have a great job but rarely return home. When I do I avoid most of my family becaus they have begun to dig nto my pockets and I can't say no.  I do however spend as much time with my father as I can.

The tough love I got from my father is why I am who I am now. I didn't like it when he hit me and felt  border line abused sometimes. Now that I am 40 years old I can honestly say my dad did right by me. Maybe he didn't always handle things the best way but he did what he felt was right and raised me with morals, discaplian, ethics, and respect. His efforts led to my character which I think is important.  When I see my siblings struggling I think about this and whish he had been as hard on them as he was on me. I help them when I can but would never coddle or support them.

I have three of my own chidren now and although I do not get physical with them they walk the line and respect their elders. An older woman once commented on how well behaved my children were in a restaraunt, from out of the blue, never met the woman till that comment. That has happened several times.

You can correct the situation you have created but it will take some effort on your part. Your son has no idea of how lucky he is. Nowdays a strong family unit is a rare thing. Having parents there to support you when you need them is a luxery most kids now days take for granted. Kicking his ass will get you nowhere. Thats something you should have done years ago. Cut him off and make him come to you. Explain the facts of life without pointing out what he has, that you have so generously provided. Don't belittle him, treat him like a man but let him know whithout saying he owes you.  Every time you bail him out you reinforce his behavior. You shouldn't have walked home you shold have told him to take you home and now. I do appreciate your conviction and that you did walk home. If this is his normal behavior you have a long way too go. If this is an isolated incident ther may be more to his behavior than you know.

Everytime you allow this behavior you empower him, don't take it ever. No one wants to see their children struggle but everyone has to go through hell to get to heaven.

I dread the day I will have to attend my fathers funeral. Your son will too only for differant reasons. Fix it now before its too late.

No offense bro,
but you gave in to your son and cultivated a disrespectful person who learned how to mooch off his parents and take advantage of them at a whim.  

And what parent buys his 28 year old a house?  Heck, my sister's 27 and she lives in a condo with her husband, has a car, has a job, is a student going for her masters' and is making good of herself.  

No offense but you're as much to blame as he/the mom is.  

After he regained consciousness, I would have told him that I would not need him to drive me home because the taxi I called right after I used his vehicle to tear down the rest of the fence has already arrived.

Whoa, wait a sec!  I'm 26, have a degree, have a stable job, don't smoke, don't drink, like guns, and respect women.  Are you sure you wouldn't rather have a slightly rotund glasses-wearing Asian guy (me ) as your son?  I promise I'll forever cherish the gifts you give me

Seriously though, I don't think I would ever do that to my parents.  I know they can't (physically) whoop me now, but I'm sure they're crafty as all get out and would think of something.  After all, they did cross an ocean and a continent with nothing but the clothes on their backs to get where they (and I) are today.  

Riddle me this lawdog,

what would possess you to buy a house for your son?  What kind of house are we even talking here?  That's not something you really buy for someone else.  

Quoted: It sounds like he needs a foot up his ass.

+.9bar.

Where's Red Forman when you need him?

(For those who don't know, Red Forman is Eric's dad on That 70's Show.)

Quoted: Quoted: There should be code built into the board that adds that into every thread he posts.

 So true!

Personally, I would do just about anything for my father.

What would you do?? Question for parents of adult children

I have six Grandchildren and four children.

Remind them, that you made them, and that you also can take them out.

GM

I'm afraid your son is a spoiled brat.  It is time to cut the cord and let him grow up.  If what you posted about your childhood is true, then it is perfectly understandable that you over-compensated. But you have done enough!

When my oldest daughter got married, her mother-in-law was much like you.  Whenever they had financial problems she wanted to send them a check.  I'm very proud of my son in law for finally telling her no to her offers and that he wanted to pay his own way.  I'm sure my daughter had something to do with it because my children were raised to be independent.

I would never tolerate disrespect from my kids, either.  

Quoted: Adopt me too.  And you don't even have to help me do anything. But I'll be glad to help you any way I can Dad.

No adopt me!  

Quoted: ... but he is my only son.  Input??? lawdog

Don't let that fact cause you to spoil him anymore.

Be friendly but don't put yourself in a position to have to walk so far next time.

Well... like psychops said, I got my a## chewed out by the wife.  Damn, I hate that.  Anyway, since she had to take some stuff out to the boy, I went along.  I went in and told him I was sorry for cursing him and calling him some pretty nasty names (yes, I know it was childish of me).  I told him that if I had ever talked to my dad that way, I would have been knocked to the floor (and that's the truth!).

He hugged me and said he was sorry, too.  We both agreed that we really can't work together but we always have fun together going shooting, fishing, boating, etc. so we will just do that together.

We made up and everything should be OK now but my feet hurt like hell and emotionally feel like I got bitch-slapped something silly today.  Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.

Thanks everyone for the great advice !!!!  I will put it to good use.

P.S.
In the past several years I have felt really, really guilty about not being around much as he was growing up.  I know I over-compensate for that by giving him stuff.  The house was only $120K (paid for it out of my settlement) and he is getting married in May so me and the wife considered it a wedding present.  I'll quit being so overly generous... at least until he can appreciate it some.

Thanks, Lawdog

Quoted: .  I'll quit being so overly generous... at least until he can appreciate it some. Thanks, Lawdog

Sounds like a good plan.  Let him grow up and be the man for once.

Once again everything you post is It seems like you live in a fantasy land. Where is that platinum membership you said you bought 3 weeks ago ?

Where is that platinum membership you said you bought 3 weeks ago ?

don't get the wood from the dump next time.

Where is that platinum membership you said you bought 3 weeks ago ?

Check's in the mail buddy-boy !!!!

Quoted: Where is that platinum membership you said you bought 3 weeks ago ? Check's in the mail buddy-boy !!!!

Thats the slowest mail service of all time.

Lets see... In your son's position, I would have said.

Dad, I want to thank you for everything. I'm speechless Dad, I can't thank you enough. Hey Dad, some of those boards are a little too high and a little too low, here, let me help you, besides, I like working next to you, and again, Dad, thanks so much for everything and thanks for being my Dad, Here, I'll stretch this chalkline out and fix this right up.

Anything other than the above is the way WRONG response from Sonny.

Quoted: Quoted: Where is that platinum membership you said you bought 3 weeks ago ? Check's in the mail buddy-boy !!!! Thats the slowest mail service of all time.

Is there a valid reason as to why you're trolling the hell out of Lawdog's posts?

My parents bought me a house when I turned 18, but I would not accept a house from them 8 years from now.  

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Where is that platinum membership you said you bought 3 weeks ago ? Check's in the mail buddy-boy !!!! Thats the slowest mail service of all time. Is there a valid reason as to why you're trolling the hell out of Lawdog's posts?

Everything he posts is BS, need a better reason ?

If any of you catch me talking to my dad that way, you have my permission to kick my ass.

Everything he posts is BS, need a better reason ?

Careful Tanam... you might hurt my feelings and that's really not P.C.


Luv ya' man,

lawdog

Quoted:

I'll see your and raise you a

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Where is that platinum membership you said you bought 3 weeks ago ? Check's in the mail buddy-boy !!!! Thats the slowest mail service of all time. Is there a valid reason as to why you're trolling the hell out of Lawdog's posts? Everything he posts is BS, need a better reason ?

Welp, alrighty then! Fire away.

Quoted: Quoted: There should be code built into the board that adds that into every thread he posts.

LOL