Monday, February 13, 2006
Wife should talk with husband about fear of gunsBy DR. JOYCE BROTHERS
SYNDICATED COLUMNIST
DEAR DR. BROTHERS: I recently moved to a new area of the country, in which it is very common for households to have a rifle or handgun for hunting or personal protection. I have never had any exposure to weapons at all and have always been very frightened of them. Yet around here, children are routinely taught to hunt, with a healthy respect for but no fear of guns. Anyway, my husband brought one home after I reluctantly agreed (we do have a problem with predatory wild animals at our new farm), but I find myself being very nervous about just having it. I would never want to use it. Is this strong a reaction normal? -- D.K.
DEAR D.K.: I would say that it is quite normal and even smart to be afraid of any dangerous weapon that could kill you or a member of your family. It could even make for a very unpleasant situation should the victim be a predator in your yard and you have to see it dispatched. There is almost no upside to having a gun if you aren't a gun lover, and you shouldn't have to live with this creepy feeling indefinitely.
That said, I think you need to sit down with your husband and discuss all this. He needs to be able to tell you how he feels about having -- and possibly using -- the gun. Did he buy the gun mainly to minimize discord in the new neighborhood -- in other words, to fit in? Does he have any background or training in gun use and gun safety? Was he ever in the military? And do you agree that you really need it? If so, take some lessons and do some skeet shooting so that you can gain some mastery and lessen your fears. Keep the gun locked up, of course, and keep that fear at a healthy level. After all, they are deadly. If you still feel terrified after taking these steps, I suggest that you surrender your weapon.
Write to Dr. Joyce Brothers via King Features, 888 Seventh Ave., New York, NY 10019.
seattlepi.nwsource.com/brothers/256854_joyce131.html