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Posted: 2/12/2006 7:57:31 PM EDT
I always made fun of people who talked about beng depressed but after spending the past year being practically housebound with back surgeries, being on pain meds and having injections,implants all kinds of wacky ass painful and debiliatating shit happen i can totally relate now. Every night the exact same thing happens. I end up sitting here online unable to doze off.I loathe this time of night because i cannot fall asleep until i am completely and utterly exhausted and able to ignore back pain. During the day i can bullshit my way around the house talking with my wife or keeping myself busy. Nighttime is a different animal. I have to be somewhat quiet so she can sleep and the dog isnt a pain in the ass. That leaves out doing anything that may be fun and loud :) I recall reading some study saying sick people do worse during evening and i can understand that too. Laying in bed is the worse though. I hate to be a whiner but i am really starting to get discouraged with the while situation. I wouldnt say i am like clinically or suicidally depressed but i wouldnt turn down some valium or somethign else right about now.

Anyone else have trouble with "depression"?
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 8:02:03 PM EDT
More Valium only masks it. When it wears off your back at square one.
I get over my depression by going out on lots of long walks, drives, bike rides and shooting paper, basically staying busy.
If I sit in the house too long and start dwelling on my shit I start getting bad.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 8:03:14 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/12/2006 8:05:44 PM EDT by MonkTx]


I used to have it really bad, finding a wonderful wife pulled me out though. Weekends still occasionally suck for me, too much time on my hands at night.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 8:05:23 PM EDT
Well, I am not a doctor, but I can tell you that "being depressed" and having depression are not the same. Depression is an illness and should be taken seriously. Maybe you should mention this to a doctor. I don't think Valium is given for depression. Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Paxil and the like are often prescribed.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 8:05:58 PM EDT
sometimes
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 8:06:41 PM EDT
This thread is depressing.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 8:06:58 PM EDT
Twonami has a good point...since depression zaps you of energy and zest for life, you need to get out and do something to redirect that energy...those things that take your mind off yourself for awhile. Make sure you eat well...eliminate junk food and proecessed artificial crap because it depletes your immune system and you become more susceptible to sickness, pain and anxiety...
This too shall pass...
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 8:07:25 PM EDT
To make matters worse all this shit went down right after i moved away from my hometown to be with my then girlfriend (now wife). I have zero friends up here in the mountains and my one really close buddy doesnt come up alot because his g/f and i despise one another. I tried to buddy up with a few of my wifes girlfriends husbands but theyre all antigun liberals.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 8:08:23 PM EDT
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....

Now, of course, it is easier to talk about being strong than to be strong.

People only have problems (any sort of problems) for one reason...

Lack of some knowledge, skill, and/or habit.

In your case, I'd do some serious study on back pain and problems.

Tons of people have dealt with this, some successfully, some not so successfully. Study the successful people.

Don't give up, man.

And be nice to yourself and forgiving.

Link Posted: 2/12/2006 8:09:52 PM EDT
Getting a dog also really helped me with my depression, immensely.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 8:12:58 PM EDT

Originally Posted By bfieldburt:
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....



That which does not kill you leaves you maimed.

Link Posted: 2/12/2006 8:17:23 PM EDT
I cant really do alot of things i used to love doing. I am on my third spinal fusion. I have some sort of issue with scarring internally along my spine which is messing up the healing process. I was getting epidurals until a few weeks ago and now pain management wants me to try some weird ass wire jammed up my spine with a battery pack under my ass cheek. While all this was going on they are trying to figure out wy my bones are degenerating to some extent in different spots. My neck has a bulged herniated disk with degenerative disk disease and arthritis (i was told to worry about this later on after i get my back stabilised) They found i have no cartilidge left in my left ankle after i noticed i was limping alot.
Everytime i point them at a different part of my body they come back with bad news. I really am nervoud as shit to tell them my wrist has been killing me this past year. I am looking at surgeries in my neck and one more in my back at least. So i will be out of work until this summer if i get lucky. Did i mention my wife is 6 months pregnant and i feel like such a useless shit for not being able to support her right now? Ugh..I need to figure out how to make a few million real quick...
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 8:18:21 PM EDT
Try moving out the fucking Poconos. Thats the most depressing place in the word. There's about 12 days of sunshine a year, 10 months of winter and the people are all bunch of inbred retards. The roads suck and are all full of potholes (when they're not full of ice and snow) with dead deer carcasses left to rot on the shoulder. Every 1/2 mile on every road is a memorial where some idiot got killed in a car accident. The women are all fat, and the last time I was there, Main Street in Stroudsburg was full of minoritees with gold teeth that moved in from Jersey.

Link Posted: 2/12/2006 8:20:19 PM EDT
I hope everything works out for you.

I used to get pretty depressed but I eventually realized that there really isn't anything to gain from being that way. I tend to look at things a bit more positively now.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 8:24:35 PM EDT
ArmedandRetarded is dead one sadly...luckily my wife who is from here (cough,cough) i met down in Philly and we both sot of moved back to her live on her parents land for free. Free land sounds damned good to me right now until we get on better footing. She has a awesome job working as a caseworker in Northampton County to and we never go up to Stroudsburg or down to Allentown and Bethlehem is a once a week trip for doctors or whatnot. I fucking hate those last two cities with a passion. Point being we are stuck up here for the time being or until i get back to work. I am thinking about checking out some local gun shops for someting under the table so Uncle Sam wont climb up my ass...
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 8:49:25 PM EDT
Thanks for the kind words guys. It actually means alot to me. If the average liberal anti gun dipshit could see what a nice bunch of people most of us are they would'nt needa shooting or hardcore beating...
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 8:59:49 PM EDT

Originally Posted By WindGapAR15:
I always made fun of people who talked about beng depressed but after spending the past year being practically housebound with back surgerites, being on pain meds and having injections,implants all kinds of wacky ass painful and debiliatating shit happen i can totally relate now. Every night the exact same thing happens. I end up sitting here online unable to doze off.I loathe this time of night because i cannot fall asleep until i am completely and utterly exhausted and able to ignore back pain. During the day i can bullshit my way around the house talking with my wife or keeping myself busy. Nighttime is a different animal. I have to be somewhat quiet so she can sleep and the dog isnt a pain in the ass. That leaves out doing anything that may be fun and loud :) I recall reading some study saying sick people do worse during evening and i can understand that too. Laying in bed is the worse though. I hate to be a whiner but i am really starting to get discouraged with the while situation. I wouldnt say i am like clinically or suicidally depressed but i wouldnt turn down some valium or somethign else right about now.

Anyone else have trouble with "depression"?



Dude, I'm not a doctor but I do know about back pain. You need to talk to your doctor about proper pain management. Valium is a terrible way of dealing with pain.

I would tell your doctor that you want to address the pain aggressively and tell him about feeling depressed.

Good luck. Back pain is the worst.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 9:02:22 PM EDT
I must have put it wrong. I dont take valium i was just saying that maybe i should. I am on 15mg percocets every 4-6 and 20 mg extended release percocets twice a day right now. also i actually have been on welbutrin for months since i had to quit smoking before my last surgery.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 9:06:37 PM EDT
Been there. It sucks big time!

The only cure is to keep yourself busy and try to keep your mind preoccupied with things that make you "happy" or interests you.

Try staying off the pill as long as you can. I have. I always keep a valium in my pocket. It's been there for 2 years now. I have not used it even once. It's like a security blanket. If I need it, I know it's just there. But I do not want to start for fear of becoming dependent to it.

Try to have a better outlook at life. I know your siuation sucks right now ... but try. Try to focus on the better things. It does and will help you get through each day.

Good luck. I KNOW THINGS WILL GET BETTER FOR YOU!

Link Posted: 2/12/2006 9:18:39 PM EDT

Originally Posted By five2one:

Originally Posted By WindGapAR15:
I always made fun of people who talked about beng depressed but after spending the past year being practically housebound with back surgerites, being on pain meds and having injections,implants all kinds of wacky ass painful and debiliatating shit happen i can totally relate now. Every night the exact same thing happens. I end up sitting here online unable to doze off.I loathe this time of night because i cannot fall asleep until i am completely and utterly exhausted and able to ignore back pain. During the day i can bullshit my way around the house talking with my wife or keeping myself busy. Nighttime is a different animal. I have to be somewhat quiet so she can sleep and the dog isnt a pain in the ass. That leaves out doing anything that may be fun and loud :) I recall reading some study saying sick people do worse during evening and i can understand that too. Laying in bed is the worse though. I hate to be a whiner but i am really starting to get discouraged with the while situation. I wouldnt say i am like clinically or suicidally depressed but i wouldnt turn down some valium or somethign else right about now.

Anyone else have trouble with "depression"?



Dude, I'm not a doctor but I do know about back pain. You need to talk to your doctor about proper pain management. Valium is a terrible way of dealing with pain.

I would tell your doctor that you want to address the pain aggressively and tell him about feeling depressed.

Good luck. Back pain is the worst.



I think the depressed feeling is more about the feeling of hopelessness and less about the pain.

I am diabetic, have been for 21 years. When I was diagnosed they talked about people having feelings of "why me". I didn't have any of these feelings, I just dealt with it.

About 5 years ago I started having back problems, herniated disc that kept getting worse and worse. Last year my Dr. decided we should do a disc replacement. I thought "great, we can finally get this thing taken care of". I didn't have any traumatic injury of anything I could associate it with, I just said oh well. Then my Insurance company refused to pay for it, saying it was not a proven fix for my problem. Pissed me off.

This year I was diagnosed with a condition called Winged Scapula. It is an apparently very rare condition which causes the Scapula or shoulder blade to stick out and the muscles surrounding it are paralized. They don't know why it happened and I am having a hard time findinga doctor who knows how to treat it because it is so rare. All I have heard is it normally fixes itself over time, but not always.

Now that depressed me and made me say "why me?" What did I do to deserve all this crap. That lasted about a month but I think I am working thru it. I am seeing a couple of new doctors and the treatment seems to be working. I am getting some strength and mobility back in my arm.

Stick with it, maybe see a new doctor.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 9:25:48 PM EDT
I am debating whether to see a psychistrist or whatever you see. With our insurance it would be free and hell it would give me someone to bullshit with and maybe get some kick ass mental drugs or something.
Link Posted: 2/12/2006 9:26:38 PM EDT

Originally Posted By WindGapAR15:
I always made fun of people who talked about beng depressed but after spending the past year being practically housebound with back surgeries, being on pain meds and having injections,implants all kinds of wacky ass painful and debiliatating shit happen i can totally relate now. Every night the exact same thing happens. I end up sitting here online unable to doze off.I loathe this time of night because i cannot fall asleep until i am completely and utterly exhausted and able to ignore back pain. During the day i can bullshit my way around the house talking with my wife or keeping myself busy. Nighttime is a different animal. I have to be somewhat quiet so she can sleep and the dog isnt a pain in the ass. That leaves out doing anything that may be fun and loud :) I recall reading some study saying sick people do worse during evening and i can understand that too. Laying in bed is the worse though. I hate to be a whiner but i am really starting to get discouraged with the while situation. I wouldnt say i am like clinically or suicidally depressed but i wouldnt turn down some valium or somethign else right about now.

Anyone else have trouble with "depression"?



Start taking care of some of the small things. Sounds like you need to change your sleeping arrangements. I have a uncle who has had that kind of pain and he sleeps in a recliner to get more relief. Or at a minimum you may want to switch beds so you don't have to worry about waking up the wife. Hope that helps.

Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:22:28 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:48:34 AM EDT
This thread is impossible to masturbate to.
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 3:55:36 AM EDT

Originally Posted By ArmedAndRetarded:
and the last time I was there, Main Street in Stroudsburg was full of minoritees with gold teeth that moved in from Jersey.




Yeah Stroudsburg has changed immensely over the years hasn't it ?
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 4:16:22 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/13/2006 4:17:09 AM EDT by gunchyck]

Originally Posted By WindGapAR15:
I must have put it wrong. I dont take valium i was just saying that maybe i should. I am on 15mg percocets every 4-6 and 20 mg extended release percocets twice a day right now. also i actually have been on welbutrin for months since i had to quit smoking before my last surgery.



I know it's hard, but I would try and wean yourself off the pain pills as soon as possible. I had a friend that had numerous back surgeries and was on pain meds for a bit. He became dependent and long-story-short he ending up having to go to a methodone clinic to get him off the pain meds. Yeah that is the same place the heroine junkies go... He has been going for two years and he is almost done but it is hard.

I don't remember if percocet was one of the pain meds.

ETA ruined his marraige too.
Link Posted: 2/13/2006 4:24:19 AM EDT
I've worked with back patients for years. The situation will wear anyone down.
What it comes down to the mental aspect..youre either going to have to depend on yourself to deal with it and make the situation better or I can tell you, I've seen many who jumped on the slippery slope to helpless and miserable never to return.
Youre the only person who can really do anything about it.
Not being a d*ck, just my .02 worth.
Link Posted: 2/15/2006 8:12:27 PM EDT
It isnt even all the pain that bothers me much anymore. It is th ebeing unable to sleep and the damned restless leg syndrome. I am running through all the various RLS medications and none seem to be working on me,The only thing that works is narcotics unfortunately. I am looking into ANS implants at this point and am really counting on them to work so i canm ge back to some sort of work ASAP. It is just driving me nuts. I wish i could go back to me hometown while im laid up but driving is a huge fucking pain being as i cant turn my head well and after awhile my back is killing me. Also i am not even supposed to be driving,but eh
Link Posted: 2/15/2006 9:44:02 PM EDT
Sorry to hear about your depression. Try reading in bed - Its puts my ass to sleep in 20 minutes at most. It may or may not work for you, but I thought I would throw out the idea. Also, I would see a doctor (shrink) to learn some techniques to handle the depression. Asking for help does not make you weak, its takes a real strong individual to stand up and seek help and expose your condition. Lastly, but not least - pray. Prayer is amazingly powerful. Hang tough my friend, you can do it!!!!
Link Posted: 2/15/2006 10:07:17 PM EDT
Hey WindGap.

How are you doing. Just hang on ok ... here we have a saying: "Ang lahat ng bagay ay may katapusan." Meaning "All things will come to an end."

Think of your condition as a temporary setback. IT WILL PASS. Very soon you will just be thinking about what happened to you as if it were just a bad dream.

Focus. Take life a day at a time ... take each day an hour at a time.

If you are able to, why don't you go visit your hometown and be among your friends for a few days.

Take care dude. I hope things are looking up for you. Remember, if you are down - there is no other way but up.
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