Bored.
Sitting at the bar in the B&B.
new college kid bartender. Thought she knew it all. Actually, she was annoying damned near everybody.
I got up to pee and slipped out the side door and went to the convenience store nearby and bought some Alka Seltzer and returned to my stool, winked at my pal and ordered a fresh Vitaman R.
When she turned her back to get it, I put a shitload of Alka Seltzer in my mouth. When the beer arrived, I wordlessly paid for it.
I took a pretty good swig and waited. I didn't have to wait for long until the foam started pouring out of my mouth.
Falling off my barstool, I started twitching and moaning on the floor.
Of course, the girl went into a panic and called the EMTs.
When the sirens told me they were half a block away, I got up and split leaving her to hold the bag.
THE ENTIRE PLACE told the EMTs that nothing had happened.
NOBODY ratted me out. Instead, they told the EMTs the girl was nuts, and that nothing had happened.
She left shortly after and went back to Nebraska.