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Posted: 2/8/2006 7:07:38 PM EDT
As my regular readers know, I've long been skeptical of the "Religion of Peace" moniker for Muslims — for at least 3,000 reasons right off the top of my head.

CALVIN AND HOBBES — AND MUHAMMAD
February 8, 2006

The culture editor of a newspaper in Denmark suspected writers and cartoonists were engaging in self-censorship when it came to the Religion of Peace. It was subtle things, like a Danish comedian's statement, paraphrased by The New York Times, "that he had no problem urinating on the Bible but that he would not dare do the same to the Quran."

So, after verifying that his life insurance premiums were paid up, the editor expressly requested cartoons of Muhammad from every cartoonist with a Danish cartoon syndicate. Out of 40 cartoonists, only 10 accepted the invitation, most of them submitting utterly neutral drawings with no political content whatsoever.

But three cartoons made political points.

One showed Muhammad turning away suicide bombers from the gates of heaven, saying "Stop, stop — we ran out of virgins!" — which I believe was a commentary on Muslims' predilection for violence. Another was a cartoon of Muhammad with horns, which I believe was a commentary on Muslims' predilection for violence. The third showed Muhammad with a turban in the shape of a bomb, which I believe was an expression of post-industrial ennui in a secular — oops, no, wait: It was more of a commentary on Muslims' predilection for violence.

In order to express their displeasure with the idea that Muslims are violent, thousands of Muslims around the world engaged in rioting, arson, mob savagery, flag-burning, murder and mayhem, among other peaceful acts of nonviolence.

Muslims are the only people who make feminists seem laid-back.

The little darlings brandish placards with typical Religion of Peace slogans, such as: "Behead Those Who Insult Islam," "Europe, you will pay, extermination is on the way" and "Butcher those who mock Islam." They warn Europe of their own impending 9/11 with signs that say: "Europe: Your 9/11 will come" — which is ironic, because they almost had me convinced the Jews were behind the 9/11 attack.

The rioting Muslims claim they are upset because Islam prohibits any depictions of Muhammad — though the text is ambiguous on beheadings, suicide bombings and flying planes into skyscrapers.

The belief that Islam forbids portrayals of Muhammad is recently acquired. Back when Muslims created things, rather than blowing them up, they made paintings, frescoes, miniatures and prints of Muhammad.

But apparently the Quran is like the Constitution: It's a "living document," capable of sprouting all-new provisions at will. Muslims ought to start claiming the Quran also prohibits indoor plumbing, to explain their lack of it.

Other interpretations of the Quran forbid images of humans or animals, which makes even a child's coloring book blasphemous. That's why the Taliban blew up those priceless Buddhist statues, bless their innocent, peace-loving little hearts.

Largely unnoticed in this spectacle is the blinding fact that one nation is missing from the long list of Muslim countries (by which I mean France and England) with hundreds of crazy Muslims experiencing bipolar rage over some cartoons: Iraq. Hey — maybe this democracy thing does work! The barbaric behavior of Europe's Muslims suggests that the European welfare state may not be attracting your top-notch Muslims.

Making the rash assumption for purposes of discussion that Islam is a religion and not a car-burning cult, even a real religion can't go bossing around other people like this.

Catholics aren't short on rules, but they couldn't care less if non-Catholics use birth control. Conservative Jews have no interest in forbidding other people from mixing meat and dairy. Protestants don't make a peep about other people eating food off one another's plates. (Just stay away from our plates — that's disgusting.)

But Muslims think they can issue decrees about what images can appear in newspaper cartoons. Who do they think they are, liberals?
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 7:12:30 PM EDT
I would so love to be married to Ann Coulter...
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 7:16:04 PM EDT
I sure hope she has a good security service.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 7:25:32 PM EDT
they have to have some excuse for their violence and inhumanities to man...the majority of them are so deprived and impoverished that they are stressed to the breaking point...imagine the anger and violence that would break out in America if all the women put on those black sacks and didn't show us any skin?...and most of the violence is by young men whose hormones are running wild and they have no other outlets.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 7:31:47 PM EDT
When I win the lottery, I'm going to ask Ann if I can be on her security detail- no pay needed.

She is a brilliant writer.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 7:33:08 PM EDT

Originally Posted By johnrj:
they have to have some excuse for their violence and inhumanities to man...the majority of them are so deprived and impoverished that they are stressed to the breaking point...imagine the anger and violence that would break out in America if all the women put on those black sacks and didn't show us any skin?...and most of the violence is by young men whose hormones are running wild and they have no other outlets.



That's a pretty good apology. Watch out, the imans or CAIR will be wanting to put you to work, ....their own spin is weak.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 7:34:08 PM EDT
She has a way with being hot too.....
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 2:54:59 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/9/2006 2:56:52 AM EDT by Merlin]

Originally Posted By johnrj:
they have to have some excuse for their violence and inhumanities to man...the majority of them are so deprived and impoverished that they are stressed to the breaking point...imagine the anger and violence that would break out in America if all the women put on those black sacks and didn't show us any skin?...and most of the violence is by young men whose hormones are running wild and they have no other outlets.




That is probably the stupidist statement I've ever read on Arfcom.

Link Posted: 2/9/2006 3:22:48 AM EDT
Almost lost in the middle of the column was this brilliant observation.

Largely unnoticed in this spectacle is the blinding fact that one nation is missing from the long list of Muslim countries (by which I mean France and England) with hundreds of crazy Muslims experiencing bipolar rage over some cartoons: Iraq. Hey — maybe this democracy thing does work! The barbaric behavior of Europe's Muslims suggests that the European welfare state may not be attracting your top-notch Muslims.

That is an incredible thought.
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 3:54:38 AM EDT

Originally Posted By johnrj:
they have to have some excuse for their violence and inhumanities to man...the majority of them are so deprived and impoverished that they are stressed to the breaking point...imagine the anger and violence that would break out in America if all the women put on those black sacks and didn't show us any skin?...and most of the violence is by young men whose hormones are running wild and they have no other outlets.



Haven't you seen the thermal scope video with the donkey?

Besides, they bring the poverty on themselves. Their countries mostly have tons of money.
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 4:21:00 AM EDT

Originally Posted By buckmaw:
I would so love to be married to Ann Coulter...


You think an anorexic smoker with skeletor hands and a penchant for ridiculing anyone who disagrees with her is your dream girl?
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 4:26:20 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Wobblin-Goblin:

Originally Posted By buckmaw:
I would so love to be married to Ann Coulter...


You think an anorexic smoker with skeletor hands and a penchant for ridiculing anyone who disagrees with her is your dream girl?




Your comment smells of, but your post count says otherwise. I don't know what to believe.
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 4:28:33 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 4:29:16 AM EDT

Originally Posted By kc8ard:

Originally Posted By Wobblin-Goblin:

Originally Posted By buckmaw:
I would so love to be married to Ann Coulter...


You think an anorexic smoker with skeletor hands and a penchant for ridiculing anyone who disagrees with her is your dream girl?


Your comment smells of, but your post count says otherwise. I don't know what to believe.


I also think "Red Dawn" isn't nearly as good a movie as many people here seem to think.
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 4:30:08 AM EDT

Originally Posted By johnrj:
they have to have some excuse for their violence and inhumanities to man...the majority of them are so deprived and impoverished that they are stressed to the breaking point...imagine the anger and violence that would break out in America if all the women put on those black sacks and didn't show us any skin?...and most of the violence is by young men whose hormones are running wild and they have no other outlets.



Maybe we should just export whores... oh, sorry, I meant American women from the MTV generation.... no, wait, I meant whores. Ah, hell. I can't tell the difference.

NO! Wait! We should make them all watch Brokeback Mountain! Then they will understand it is okay to just XXXX each other up the XXX all day.

Link Posted: 2/9/2006 4:33:09 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Wobblin-Goblin:

Originally Posted By buckmaw:
I would so love to be married to Ann Coulter...


You think an anorexic smoker with skeletor hands and a penchant for ridiculing anyone who disagrees with her is your dream girl?




+1 She's a trouble making faaaaaaaaaar right skank.
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 4:35:13 AM EDT
She does have a way of exposing idiots.
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 4:35:15 AM EDT

Originally Posted By kc8ard:

Originally Posted By Wobblin-Goblin:

Originally Posted By buckmaw:
I would so love to be married to Ann Coulter...


You think an anorexic smoker with skeletor hands and a penchant for ridiculing anyone who disagrees with her is your dream girl?




Your comment smells of, but your post count says otherwise. I don't know what to believe.



Careful calling there newb. Every man is allowed an opinion
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 4:46:52 AM EDT
Holy cow that is funny it reminds me of this Ann Coulter Mouse pad Thing I saw,

These are way cool!




Link Posted: 2/9/2006 4:50:11 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Wobblin-Goblin:

I also think "Red Dawn" isn't nearly as good a movie as many people here seem to think.



That's it! You are a damn troll!
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 4:51:01 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Gunner1X:

Originally Posted By kc8ard:

Originally Posted By Wobblin-Goblin:

Originally Posted By buckmaw:
I would so love to be married to Ann Coulter...


You think an anorexic smoker with skeletor hands and a penchant for ridiculing anyone who disagrees with her is your dream girl?




Your comment smells of, but your post count says otherwise. I don't know what to believe.



Careful calling there newb. Every man is allowed an opinion



haha, I guess you're right. I'm entitled to my opinion as well too. It just reminds me of some of the far leftist people that love to bash her. I personally believe she's a delightful person. I've read most of her books and I even saw her in person during CPAC, a conservative convention in DC. Now, as far as the comment...She's really not that skinny and she only smokes occasionally. I guess, she's of the I only smoke when I drink mentality. I don't have a problem with it or her, although I am a pack a day smoker. Now, as far as her beauty, I don't really dig her physical features that well. But, I really love her wit and intelligence in writing. I think most people need to understand that she uses a high degree of satire, and that not everything is meant to be taken seriously. One of her main objectives is to infuriate far leftist liberals. Any questions?
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 5:09:21 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Wobblin-Goblin:

Originally Posted By kc8ard:

Originally Posted By Wobblin-Goblin:

Originally Posted By buckmaw:
I would so love to be married to Ann Coulter...


You think an anorexic smoker with skeletor hands and a penchant for ridiculing anyone who disagrees with her is your dream girl?


Your comment smells of, but your post count says otherwise. I don't know what to believe.


I also think "Red Dawn" isn't nearly as good a movie as many people here seem to think.



Damn you just stepped into now! Getting popcorn..dissed Ann and Red dawn all in one breath!

Link Posted: 2/9/2006 5:29:53 AM EDT

Originally Posted By MasterSniper:
Damn you just stepped into now! Getting popcorn..dissed Ann and Red dawn all in one breath!



Two breaths.

(or, in ARFCOM-ese, "breathes")
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 5:42:12 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Wobblin-Goblin:

Originally Posted By kc8ard:

Originally Posted By Wobblin-Goblin:

Originally Posted By buckmaw:
I would so love to be married to Ann Coulter...


You think an anorexic smoker with skeletor hands and a penchant for ridiculing anyone who disagrees with her is your dream girl?


Your comment smells of, but your post count says otherwise. I don't know what to believe.


I also think "Red Dawn" isn't nearly as good a movie as many people here seem to think.


THANK YOU! I am not the only one!
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 5:43:25 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Merlin:
[That is probably the stupidist statement I've ever read on Arfcom.




You've been around here long enough to know better....you must be writing more than you read, 'cuz there is WAY more stupid stuff here

roy d...stand by for more
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 5:47:45 AM EDT
I want Ann Coulter + Michelle Malkin in alittle whipping cream threesome action.
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 5:51:16 AM EDT
Another brilliant work of art by Ann.


CMOS
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 5:52:39 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Wobblin-Goblin:

Originally Posted By buckmaw:
I would so love to be married to Ann Coulter...


You think an anorexic smoker with skeletor hands and a penchant for ridiculing anyone who disagrees with her is your dream girl?



Those of us that are into chicks love her.

The rest of you, however.......


And she's got a rapier wit.
Not the usual "...but, but ....." from the left.
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 5:52:58 AM EDT

Originally Posted By raven:
"that he had no problem urinating on the Bible but that he would not dare do the same to the Quran."



Ah!

So it would appear that not all people of faith are dangerous psychopaths waiting to install a theocracy!

I wish other people would get the freakin' message.



Link Posted: 2/9/2006 5:54:20 AM EDT
tagged
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 5:54:38 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Gunner1X:


+1 She's a trouble making faaaaaaaaaar right skank.





Ann Coulter is "faaaaaaaaaar right"? Damn. I guess that makes me faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar right !


Link Posted: 2/9/2006 5:56:11 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Gunner1X:
+1 She's a trouble making faaaaaaaaaar right skank.



I dunno.

I think she is a little too liberal for my taste.
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 5:56:32 AM EDT

Originally Posted By buckmaw:
I would so love to be married to Ann Coulter...



I bet she's a FREAK in the sheets
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 5:58:58 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Wobblin-Goblin:

Originally Posted By kc8ard:

Originally Posted By Wobblin-Goblin:

Originally Posted By buckmaw:
I would so love to be married to Ann Coulter...


You think an anorexic smoker with skeletor hands and a penchant for ridiculing anyone who disagrees with her is your dream girl?


Your comment smells of, but your post count says otherwise. I don't know what to believe.


I also think "Red Dawn" isn't nearly as good a movie as many people here seem to think.




BLASPHEMY! It's the king of all B movies
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 6:01:53 AM EDT

Originally Posted By efpeter:

Originally Posted By Gunner1X:


+1 She's a trouble making faaaaaaaaaar right skank.





Ann Coulter is "faaaaaaaaaar right"? Damn. I guess that makes me faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar right !



Me to, I'm a hell of a lot louder about my beliefs than she is with hers. She's famous cause she has tits. Nice, perky, luscious, poke your eye out tits.
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 6:19:55 AM EDT
Nicely done Ann.

Please continue practicing with your Beretta though...
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 7:47:44 PM EDT
bump
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 8:04:59 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Gunner1X:

Originally Posted By Wobblin-Goblin:

Originally Posted By buckmaw:
I would so love to be married to Ann Coulter...


You think an anorexic smoker with skeletor hands and a penchant for ridiculing anyone who disagrees with her is your dream girl?




+1 She's a trouble making faaaaaaaaaar right skank.

Apparently your definition of "skank" differs from the commonly accepted one. And I find it interesting you say "faaaaaar right" like it's a bad thing.
Link Posted: 2/10/2006 3:05:11 AM EDT

Originally Posted By RoyDamnMercer:

Originally Posted By Merlin:
[That is probably the stupidist statement I've ever read on Arfcom.




You've been around here long enough to know better....you must be writing more than you read, 'cuz there is WAY more stupid stuff here

roy d...stand by for more



No, really, I think it's pretty close to the stupidist thing I've ever read here on Arfcom. 'Course, I'm not talking about former or current really, really stupid posters like C_C or P_O, but this one's pretty close.

Cheers!

Merlin
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