WHY are ex-wives so GD difficult? - Page 2

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - WHY are ex-wives so GD difficult? (Page 2 of 2)

Posted: 2/6/2006 6:09:31 PM EDT

[#1]

Quoted:
And I am sorry but when all is said and done questions like .
"Can I see our daugter?" " How is she doing?" "What is the best time to call to talk to her ?" and things of that general nature do not in any way shape and form cause a problem unless the ex psyco path is just that .

Questions in general that are of that nature should mostly already be answered by the custody agreement arrived at in court. People whose custody agreements are only one or two pages long and in which most decisions are left to a handshake agreement are opening themselves up for problems such as you describe. Spend the time up front in family court, get the major choices ironed out and put into black in white on paper. You will thank yourselves later.

Posted: 2/6/2006 6:54:23 PM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
Quoted:
And I am sorry but when all is said and done questions like .
"Can I see our daugter?" " How is she doing?" "What is the best time to call to talk to her ?" and things of that general nature do not in any way shape and form cause a problem unless the ex psyco path is just that .

Questions in general that are of that nature should mostly already be answered by the custody agreement arrived at in court. People whose custody agreements are only one or two pages long and in which most decisions are left to a handshake agreement are opening themselves up for problems such as you describe. Spend the time up front in family court, get the major choices ironed out and put into black in white on paper. You will thank yourselves later.

True , but a custody agreement is only as good as the enforcment of it .
When the cops always tell you" Sorry it is a civil matter. Take it to court." And the court always says " Well we will just give her another chance . " You get real tired of throwing away good money to be right back at square one .

Posted: 2/6/2006 6:57:58 PM EDT

[#3]

Thankfully my ex and I didnt have any kids, and she took her kids and went back to Knoxville, TN with her new hubby..........I dont have to look at her, hear about her or think about her any more.........and I feel sorry for Victim number 3, because soon he will learn why she was an ex twice removed

Posted: 2/6/2006 7:20:17 PM EDT

[#4]

I get the same crap from my ex. She moved 1000 miles away but I'm ducking my responsibilities as a father because I can't make trips there on a whim to see my daughter.

I'd love to spend more time with my daughter but between work and money problems I haven't been able to make it to Philly more than once a year. A 3 day weekend costs $600 and doesn't include any of the activities my daughter and I may engage in.

I call it a "Terminal case of ex-wife syndrome". She's doing her best to try to put me in an early grave.

Posted: 2/6/2006 7:33:37 PM EDT

[#5]

I can't speak from experience since I got it right the first time but I heard Willie Nelson say there is no such thing as an ex-wife. You just get MORE wives . . .

Posted: 2/6/2006 7:35:05 PM EDT

[#6]

Have one friend that shows up to each class reunion with a new wife. hinking.gif At last count it was up to #6. Another made 4, but one doesn't count since they remarried and got divorced a year later. have I'm still with the same one after 36 years. She humors my love of guns and hunting, I give her my check, let her figure out how to pay the bills, and we are both happy.

Posted: 2/6/2006 7:41:15 PM EDT

[#7]

Got cut off. The answer is they are all friggin nuts. exes that is

Posted: 2/7/2006 1:26:09 AM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
And I am sorry but when all is said and done questions like .
"Can I see our daugter?" " How is she doing?" "What is the best time to call to talk to her ?" and things of that general nature do not in any way shape and form cause a problem unless the ex psyco path is just that .

Questions in general that are of that nature should mostly already be answered by the custody agreement arrived at in court. People whose custody agreements are only one or two pages long and in which most decisions are left to a handshake agreement are opening themselves up for problems such as you describe. Spend the time up front in family court, get the major choices ironed out and put into black in white on paper. You will thank yourselves later.
True , but a custody agreement is only as good as the enforcment of it .
When the cops always tell you" Sorry it is a civil matter. Take it to court." And the court always says " Well we will just give her another chance . " You get real tired of throwing away good money to be right back at square one .

Point being questions like "can I see our daughter?" "besttime to call her?", being aprised of the childs status, ALL of that will be answered in a good order, will be spelled out so that the question doesn't even need to be asked. Failure to abide by the conditions of the Order is certainly enforceable by the officer responding to your call for service.

Posted: 2/7/2006 2:35:32 AM EDT

[#9]

Going thru it right now. Seperated now. Some days my wife is easy to deal with other times its like dealing with a dragon. Bitches That she has to spend all day with my son and nobody helps her the when I want to take him out to visit my family or just take him out to spend time with him she gives me a hard time about that too.

Posted: 2/7/2006 9:54:19 PM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
And I am sorry but when all is said and done questions like .
"Can I see our daugter?" " How is she doing?" "What is the best time to call to talk to her ?" and things of that general nature do not in any way shape and form cause a problem unless the ex psyco path is just that .

Questions in general that are of that nature should mostly already be answered by the custody agreement arrived at in court. People whose custody agreements are only one or two pages long and in which most decisions are left to a handshake agreement are opening themselves up for problems such as you describe. Spend the time up front in family court, get the major choices ironed out and put into black in white on paper. You will thank yourselves later.
True , but a custody agreement is only as good as the enforcment of it .
When the cops always tell you" Sorry it is a civil matter. Take it to court." And the court always says " Well we will just give her another chance . " You get real tired of throwing away good money to be right back at square one .

Custody battles ARE a civil matter, has nothing whatsoever to do with the police. PD's get really tired of dealing with grownups who can't get along, and continue to use the kids as pawns. if I'm forced to watch one more baby swap in the lobby of the PD, I think I'm going to puke. Naturally each party has to drag along their new squeeze to piss the other one off. Really childish.

Posted: 2/8/2006 3:51:50 AM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
users.waymark.net/0002596-1/pics/exspouse.gif

That ain't a depiction of God in that cartoon is it? I protest - that should be a CoC violation - I'm going to break the glass in my monitor and burn my processor. An outrage, blashemous!!!!!!!

Posted: 2/8/2006 5:13:20 AM EDT

[#12]

I highly recommend using a mediator for anyone going through a divorce with children involved. It made things 100 percent easier. It cost a bit, maybe 300.00 each to get the custody agreement done, but it made our lives easier, and having a 3rd party that had no interest in the outcome help us put it together was a godsend. This was in addition to our lawyers.

We've gone back to her and used her twice as over the years situations have changed, and we needed to ammend the agreement. 60.00 for an hour split between 2 people is priceless, compared to the amount of time and energy and anger and frustration it might take to tackle issues on your own.

Posted: 2/8/2006 5:43:29 AM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
A large percentage of women paint this Eutopian exsistance away from the spouse. Once that never happens, they become much more bitter, and then some even want revenge for their departure.

___

As an addendum, my personal experience has been how relationships with mutual friends have changed. I've finally figured that after all the years we travelled and bought bigger homes (she always wanted to brag about both) and she no longer has this outlet, she has complained about how unhappy she had been.

I figure as long as she's still apparently embittered enough to trash me (despite years of bragging about our travel, or homes, or cars, etc.), then she's still apparently upset after I filed for divorce.

She's probably more so embittered as I am now remarried to a wonderful lady, who has no desire to have bragging rights other than how we both are now so happy the second time around.

I hope she one day finds happiness...though I'm sure it will be at the expense of the next fellow who will be needled to keep up with her demands for happiness through intangible needs other than tangible and true love.

Posted: 2/8/2006 6:02:24 AM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
A large percentage of women paint this Eutopian exsistance away from the spouse. Once that never happens, they become much more bitter, and then some even want revenge for their departure.

Very wise post Pig!

What has amazed me in life is how they're often so stubborn they would never admit that. I can't even begin to count the number divorced guys who have all the hassles of marriage with none of the benifits. I sometimes think these guys would be better off is she just said, no more sex and here's your bedroom.

Zap, I'm afraid your situation is a classic rule of thumb. "Go away! Now why the hell did you go away?"

Tj

Posted: 2/8/2006 6:08:43 AM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Most all women are petty and vindictive, motivated primarily by jealousy and greed.

Sigh. Its sad 'cause its true.

Boy howdy, is it.

My first wife was bulemic and, used to leave little presents of glasses of vomit
around the house...in the shower....anywhere really...That along with taking me from no
debt whatsoever, to the debt I am still working off to this day.

I tried being supportive, and, understanding, but, finally I just realized that she just wasn't
worth holding onto.

Good news is she remarried, so, now she's somone elses problem.

Posted: 2/8/2006 7:00:30 AM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
I highly recommend using a mediator for anyone going through a divorce with children involved. It made things 100 percent easier. It cost a bit, maybe 300.00 each to get the custody agreement done, but it made our lives easier, and having a 3rd party that had no interest in the outcome help us put it together was a godsend. This was in addition to our lawyers.

Amen.

The ex and I went through mediation because I simply didn't want to deal with court (and because I warned her that if she pushed for court, I'd play for ALL the marbles: kids, house, the works. She realized she didn't want to mess with me.

Our mediation took one long day, and that was it.

Posted: 2/8/2006 7:03:44 AM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:

Zap, I'm afraid your situation is a classic rule of thumb. "Go away! Now why the hell did you go away?"

Tj

You ain't kiddin'.

Hell, she won't even admit she said, "Go away!". She thinks I walked out.

No sense of reality whatsoever. None.

Posted: 2/8/2006 7:06:21 AM EDT

[#18]

My ex wife threatened to have her out of state ("mob connected") boyfriend kill me. I told her to give me his address and I'd save him the trouble and show up on his doorstep and we will see who ends up walking away.

Posted: 2/8/2006 7:13:27 AM EDT

[#19]

.

Posted: 2/8/2006 7:18:31 AM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
Quoted:
What, I'm the only one?

nope, I bitch about my ex-husband all the time.

My first question or gripe is "Will he ever grow up and become a man?"
It's all good though, I only have to talk to him for 3 more years when our youngest child turns 18, then all bets are off as far as me being nice.

I take it you are sooo much of a woman, that you have first hand knowledge of what its like to be a man

And I bet you still wonder why you are divorced

Posted: 2/8/2006 1:34:26 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
Custody battles ARE a civil matter, has nothing whatsoever to do with the police. PD's get really tired of dealing with grownups who can't get along, and continue to use the kids as pawns. if I'm forced to watch one more baby swap in the lobby of the PD, I think I'm going to puke. Naturally each party has to drag along their new squeeze to piss the other one off. Really childish.

No ones disputing that custody is a civil matter, there are plenty of spouses out there that are divorced for good reasons, but still have to interact with a spouse for visitation. Yes, it would be nice if everyone got along. They don't. In the meantime, I don't usually mind the keep the peace calls. I just wish everyone took the time to get a proper custody order written up early-on instead of relying on a handshake or a one page Order. It would prevent sooo many issues.

Posted: 2/9/2006 12:35:09 AM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
And I am sorry but when all is said and done questions like .
"Can I see our daugter?" " How is she doing?" "What is the best time to call to talk to her ?" and things of that general nature do not in any way shape and form cause a problem unless the ex psyco path is just that .

Questions in general that are of that nature should mostly already be answered by the custody agreement arrived at in court. People whose custody agreements are only one or two pages long and in which most decisions are left to a handshake agreement are opening themselves up for problems such as you describe. Spend the time up front in family court, get the major choices ironed out and put into black in white on paper. You will thank yourselves later.
True , but a custody agreement is only as good as the enforcment of it .
When the cops always tell you" Sorry it is a civil matter. Take it to court." And the court always says " Well we will just give her another chance . " You get real tired of throwing away good money to be right back at square one .

Custody battles ARE a civil matter, has nothing whatsoever to do with the police. PD's get really tired of dealing with grownups who can't get along, and continue to use the kids as pawns. if I'm forced to watch one more baby swap in the lobby of the PD, I think I'm going to puke. Naturally each party has to drag along their new squeeze to piss the other one off. Really childish.

I agree it is childish , but some timers you have no choice . For me it was either ask the court to make sure all transfers took place in police presence or face another false accusation of DV .

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - WHY are ex-wives so GD difficult? (Page 2 of 2)

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