User Panel
Posted: 1/29/2006 9:06:10 PM EDT
Okay so there's these people we know in the neighborhood and are sort of friends with. I stop by their house on the way to the playground with our kid and they invite me in for just a little bit. Well as i walk past into the kitchen I immediately notice off to the side corner by the trashcan there is a log of shit laying on the tile floor. They don't have any pets. There is a shit laying on the floor in their kitchen, they don't have any pets and I'm trying to figure out what in the world else it could be because my brain couldn't accept the fact there'd be an actual shit just sitting there on the floor. Now I don't know these people well enough to just come out and say "Hey, you got a shitpile on your floor". But the neighbor wife must have seen me grimacing about somethign and asks me what's the matter and so I'm pretty sure I got a look on my face like "WTF!?" so I just have to come out and say it, "uhm, is that a....?" while pointing to it. The husband says "Yeah, but I'll clean it up." That's it. "Yeah, but I'll clean it up." Conversation continues onto something else while my blink-rate registers absolute confusion. What the hell? Who lets a shit just sit there on the floor and where in the world did it come from and what else can you say at that point? They do have a 4 year old and so the ONLY thing I can come up with is that the kid is being poop-trained and they must be pretty used to seeing shit on the floor if he doesn't make it to the potty. I'm still shaking my head about it though. |
|
You should have just said "excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom" and then dropped trou right in front of him.
If he starts protesting, just get indignant and say "what, I'm not good enough to take a dump on your kitchen floor???" |
|
|
|
|
Is that you Frank ? |
|
|
Bye |
|
|
|
you should have been like aaaa i see you shit on the floor i prefer a good toilot myself, but when in rome do as the romans and taken a big shit on the floor.
|
|
I wouldn't be able to resist saying something about it.
It would keep me up at night wondering just where the shit came from. |
|
Pete CO, you wouldnt hold it to there face and take pics??? man im surprised.......... |
|
|
Invite them over for dinner. Serve Baby Ruth's for dessert. Allow the hilarity to ensue.
|
|
Oh man, I hope it was the 4 year old.
This post made my night. Thanks. |
|
Reminds me of a story George Clooney told on Leno one night.
George Clooney had a roommate and his rrommate buys a kitten. Every time Clooney would go to the bathroom to do his business, he would crab the scooper and pick up the kitten shit out of the litterbox and flush it just so the house doesnt stink. Well one day about a week later he notices his roommate looking all over the house. He asks him what is he doing? The roommate says "Uh, have you noticed any kitten shit around the house?" Clooney says "No why?" he said well I had this kitten for over a week, he eats but there is never any crap in the litterbox" Clooney just plays dumb and says "hmmmm if I find it I will let you know" Another week goes by, clooney is still scooping shit out of the litterbox and flushing it. roommate is losing his mind... TAKES THE KITTEN TO THE VET! and tells the vet the story, Vet prescibes laxatives for cats or something like that. Now the roomate is giving this poor kitten laxatives and there is nothing wrong with the kitten... Clooney proceeds to pick up the crap and flush it as normal. Until ONE DAY Clooney has to drop a stinkloaf real bad... he drops trou right over the litterbox and dumps one in. Roommate about had a coronary. |
|
|
|
|
i've seen a turd in a trashcan at a bar.....the trash can wasn't in the bathroom either.
|
|
Maybe the turd was on the sofa and they threw it to the trash can and missed......
I'm sitting in my recliner and laughing my ASS OFF at 7am to this thread. |
|
My curiosity would NOT let the matter die. I'd grill him like a cheap sandwich.
|
|
Kharn |
|
|
LOL! Reminds me of the "doodie" scene in Caddyshack. |
|
|
Yeah,nothing like seeing a turd laying on the floor. Wow,thats pretty bad. Did the guy KNOW it was there before you said anything?
|
|
Fixed it |
|
|
|
Let's just say it was humanoid-size and leave it at that. |
|
|
"Mind if I try a little taste?"
You gotta go for the shock factor! Only then will they tell the truth! |
|
I find quotes from the Simpsons have relevance in more and more situations...
"Pardon me, I couldn't help but noticing that your house smells of feces..." |
|
|
You can use one of mine: |
|
|
I just woke up my wife up with my cackling laughter. |
||
|
|
|
|
Between you guys and your stories and Season 3 of Family Guy I probably woke up the Apt complex this evening.....
|
|
Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. One new winner* is announced every week!
You will receive an email every Friday morning featuring the latest chatter from the hottest topics, breaking news surrounding legislation, as well as exclusive deals only available to ARFCOM email subscribers.
AR15.COM is the world's largest firearm community and is a gathering place for firearm enthusiasts of all types.
From hunters and military members, to competition shooters and general firearm enthusiasts, we welcome anyone who values and respects the way of the firearm.
Subscribe to our monthly Newsletter to receive firearm news, product discounts from your favorite Industry Partners, and more.
Copyright © 1996-2024 AR15.COM LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Any use of this content without express written consent is prohibited.
AR15.Com reserves the right to overwrite or replace any affiliate, commercial, or monetizable links, posted by users, with our own.