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Posted: 1/29/2006 9:06:10 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/29/2006 9:15:51 PM EDT by TrollAccount]

Okay so there's these people we know in the neighborhood and are sort of friends with. I stop by their house on the way to the playground with our kid and they invite me in for just a little bit. Well as i walk past into the kitchen I immediately notice off to the side corner by the trashcan there is a log of shit laying on the tile floor.

They don't have any pets.

There is a shit laying on the floor in their kitchen, they don't have any pets and I'm trying to figure out what in the world else it could be because my brain couldn't accept the fact there'd be an actual shit just sitting there on the floor.

Now I don't know these people well enough to just come out and say "Hey, you got a shitpile on your floor". But the neighbor wife must have seen me grimacing about somethign and asks me what's the matter and so I'm pretty sure I got a look on my face like "WTF!?" so I just have to come out and say it, "uhm, is that a....?" while pointing to it. The husband says "Yeah, but I'll clean it up."

That's it.

"Yeah, but I'll clean it up."

Conversation continues onto something else while my blink-rate registers absolute confusion. What the hell? Who lets a shit just sit there on the floor and where in the world did it come from and what else can you say at that point?

They do have a 4 year old and so the ONLY thing I can come up with is that the kid is being poop-trained and they must be pretty used to seeing shit on the floor if he doesn't make it to the potty.

I'm still shaking my head about it though.
Link Posted: 1/29/2006 9:08:25 PM EDT
just make a mental note not to watch their kids.
Link Posted: 1/29/2006 9:12:18 PM EDT



That was good, thanks I needed a laugh


Link Posted: 1/29/2006 9:12:36 PM EDT
How's his wife's cooking?
Link Posted: 1/29/2006 9:13:01 PM EDT
You should have just said "excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom" and then dropped trou right in front of him.

If he starts protesting, just get indignant and say "what, I'm not good enough to take a dump on your kitchen floor???"

Link Posted: 1/29/2006 9:14:25 PM EDT
This thread is useless without pics.
Link Posted: 1/29/2006 9:16:46 PM EDT

Originally Posted By bastiat:
You should have just said "excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom" and then dropped trou right in front of him.

If he starts protesting, just get indignant and say "what, I'm not good enough to take a dump on your kitchen floor???"

LOL!

Link Posted: 1/29/2006 9:17:42 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ArmedAndRetarded:
This thread is useless without pics.




Is that you Frank ?
Link Posted: 1/29/2006 9:19:55 PM EDT

What do you say when you find sh-t on your neighbor's floor?


Bye
Link Posted: 1/29/2006 9:20:16 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ArmedAndRetarded:
This thread is useless without pics.



Just imagine this on a tile floor:

Link Posted: 1/29/2006 9:22:03 PM EDT
Well wriiten post...damn funny too
Link Posted: 1/29/2006 9:22:11 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/29/2006 9:24:10 PM EDT by HillBillySniper]
you should have been like aaaa i see you shit on the floor i prefer a good toilot myself, but when in rome do as the romans and taken a big shit on the floor.
Link Posted: 1/29/2006 9:35:51 PM EDT
Good shit
Link Posted: 1/29/2006 10:00:21 PM EDT
I wouldn't be able to resist saying something about it.

It would keep me up at night wondering just where the shit came from.

Link Posted: 1/29/2006 10:04:50 PM EDT

Originally Posted By PeteCO:
I wouldn't be able to resist saying something about it.

It would keep me up at night wondering just where the shit came from.




Pete CO, you wouldnt hold it to there face and take pics??? man im surprised..........
Link Posted: 1/29/2006 10:09:46 PM EDT
Invite them over for dinner. Serve Baby Ruth's for dessert. Allow the hilarity to ensue.
Link Posted: 1/29/2006 10:14:25 PM EDT
if they offer food "just say no"
Link Posted: 1/29/2006 10:17:50 PM EDT
Oh man, I hope it was the 4 year old.

This post made my night. Thanks.
Link Posted: 1/29/2006 10:30:17 PM EDT
Reminds me of a story George Clooney told on Leno one night.

George Clooney had a roommate and his rrommate buys a kitten. Every time Clooney would go to the bathroom to do his business, he would crab the scooper and pick up the kitten shit out of the litterbox and flush it just so the house doesnt stink. Well one day about a week later he notices his roommate looking all over the house. He asks him what is he doing?

The roommate says "Uh, have you noticed any kitten shit around the house?" Clooney says "No why?" he said well I had this kitten for over a week, he eats but there is never any crap in the litterbox" Clooney just plays dumb and says "hmmmm if I find it I will let you know"

Another week goes by, clooney is still scooping shit out of the litterbox and flushing it. roommate is losing his mind... TAKES THE KITTEN TO THE VET! and tells the vet the story, Vet prescibes laxatives for cats or something like that.

Now the roomate is giving this poor kitten laxatives and there is nothing wrong with the kitten... Clooney proceeds to pick up the crap and flush it as normal. Until ONE DAY Clooney has to drop a stinkloaf real bad... he drops trou right over the litterbox and dumps one in.

Roommate about had a coronary.
Link Posted: 1/29/2006 10:33:42 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DrFrige:
Reminds me of a story George Clooney told on Leno one night.

George Clooney had a roommate and his rrommate buys a kitten. Every time Clooney would go to the bathroom to do his business, he would crab the scooper and pick up the kitten shit out of the litterbox and flush it just so the house doesnt stink. Well one day about a week later he notices his roommate looking all over the house. He asks him what is he doing?

The roommate says "Uh, have you noticed any kitten shit around the house?" Clooney says "No why?" he said well I had this kitten for over a week, he eats but there is never any crap in the litterbox" Clooney just plays dumb and says "hmmmm if I find it I will let you know"

Another week goes by, clooney is still scooping shit out of the litterbox and flushing it. roommate is losing his mind... TAKES THE KITTEN TO THE VET! and tells the vet the story, Vet prescibes laxatives for cats or something like that.

Now the roomate is giving this poor kitten laxatives and there is nothing wrong with the kitten... Clooney proceeds to pick up the crap and flush it as normal. Until ONE DAY Clooney has to drop a stinkloaf real bad... he drops trou right over the litterbox and dumps one in.

Roommate about had a coronary.


Link Posted: 1/29/2006 10:34:27 PM EDT
i've seen a turd in a trashcan at a bar.....the trash can wasn't in the bathroom either.
Link Posted: 1/29/2006 10:42:34 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 3:11:46 AM EDT
Maybe the turd was on the sofa and they threw it to the trash can and missed......


I'm sitting in my recliner and laughing my ASS OFF at 7am to this thread.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 3:12:59 AM EDT
visit your other neighbor.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 3:22:16 AM EDT
My curiosity would NOT let the matter die. I'd grill him like a cheap sandwich.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 3:44:22 AM EDT
ARGH I'M LMAO AT WORK AGAIN NOOOOO
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 3:51:11 AM EDT

Originally Posted By QuantumPion:
ARGH I'M LMAO AT WORK AGAIN NOOOOO

+1 to that, good thing I'm one of the first to arrive.

Kharn
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 4:51:04 AM EDT

Originally Posted By AmeRican15:
Invite them over for dinner. Serve Baby Ruth's for dessert. Allow the hilarity to ensue.


LOL! Reminds me of the "doodie" scene in Caddyshack.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:32:39 AM EDT
Yeah,nothing like seeing a turd laying on the floor. Wow,thats pretty bad. Did the guy KNOW it was there before you said anything?
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:01:52 AM EDT
4 years old is pretty old to be dropping turds on the floor.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:47:59 AM EDT
How big was the turd?
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:52:35 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DrFrige:
Reminds me of a story George Clooney told on Leno one night.

George Clooney had a roommatelifemate and his rrommate buys a kitten. Every time Clooney would go to the bathroom to do his business, he would crab the scooper and pick up the kitten shit out of the litterbox and flush it just so the house doesnt stink. Well one day about a week later he notices his roommate looking all over the house. He asks him what is he doing?

The roommate says "Uh, have you noticed any kitten shit around the house?" Clooney says "No why?" he said well I had this kitten for over a week, he eats but there is never any crap in the litterbox" Clooney just plays dumb and says "hmmmm if I find it I will let you know"

Another week goes by, clooney is still scooping shit out of the litterbox and flushing it. roommate is losing his mind... TAKES THE KITTEN TO THE VET! and tells the vet the story, Vet prescibes laxatives for cats or something like that.

Now the roomate is giving this poor kitten laxatives and there is nothing wrong with the kitten... Clooney proceeds to pick up the crap and flush it as normal. Until ONE DAY Clooney has to drop a stinkloaf real bad... he drops trou right over the litterbox and dumps one in.

Roommate about had a coronary.



Fixed it
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:54:11 AM EDT
"Yeah, but I'll clean it up."


It's probably the kids.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:55:24 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 7:12:05 AM EDT
Dry docking a stink pickle on the kitchen floor.


Link Posted: 1/30/2006 9:12:19 AM EDT

Originally Posted By rtr:
How big was the turd?

Sorry. I left my tape measure at home.


Let's just say it was humanoid-size and leave it at that.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 9:17:55 AM EDT
How was overall cleanliness for the rest of the home?
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 9:18:36 AM EDT

humanoid-size


Adult or child?
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 9:19:04 AM EDT
"Mind if I try a little taste?"

You gotta go for the shock factor! Only then will they tell the truth!
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 9:21:32 AM EDT
I find quotes from the Simpsons have relevance in more and more situations...

"Pardon me, I couldn't help but noticing that your house smells of feces..."
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 9:24:42 AM EDT
Ya grab em by the back of the neck, push em over, and rub their nose in it.

BAD NEIGHBOR!
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 9:29:08 AM EDT
with I had one of those lmao icons...

friggin hilarious...
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 8:21:25 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Yossarian:
with I had one of those lmao icons...

friggin hilarious...



You can use one of mine:

Link Posted: 1/30/2006 8:26:10 PM EDT
Your neighbor isn't German by any chance.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 8:36:14 PM EDT
Best read all night.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 8:36:27 PM EDT

Originally Posted By rtr:
How big was the turd?


Size matters not.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 8:44:28 PM EDT

Originally Posted By CajunMojo:

Originally Posted By rtr:
How big was the turd?


Size matters not.
i1.tinypic.com/mw3bcl.jpg



I just woke up my wife up with my cackling laughter.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 5:20:21 AM EDT

Originally Posted By macman37:
I find quotes from the Simpsons have relevance in more and more situations...

"Pardon me, I couldn't help but noticing that your house smells of feces..."

Or how about just "Holy Shit!!!"
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 5:40:40 AM EDT
Between you guys and your stories and Season 3 of Family Guy I probably woke up the Apt complex this evening.....
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