Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login
Posted: 1/17/2006 7:23:12 AM EDT
North vs. South
The North has coffee houses,
The South has Waffle Houses

The North has dating services,
The South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives,
The South has Lee Press-on Nails

The North has double last names,
The South has double first names.

The North has Indy car races,
The South has stock car races.

The North has Cream of Wheat,
The South has grits.

The North has green salads,
The South has collard greens.

The North has lobsters,
The South has crawfish.

The North has the rust belt,
The South has the Bible Belt.

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . .

In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store....do not buy food at this store.

Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

Send this to four people that ain't related to you, and I reckon your life will turn into a country music song 'fore you know it

Your kin would get a kick out of it too.


Link Posted: 1/17/2006 7:38:32 AM EDT
You left out a few things.
People actually have manners down South!
Please and Thank You have meaning!
The Young'n address me as Sir!
Link Posted: 1/17/2006 7:44:48 AM EDT
AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.




G
Link Posted: 1/17/2006 7:48:33 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/17/2006 7:48:56 AM EDT by fireguy]

Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"

I believe it's pronounced "yaint"


Link Posted: 1/17/2006 9:14:07 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/17/2006 9:15:38 AM EDT by AcidGambit]
We still hold doors open for women and each other, even if we don't know the people.

and remember... "How ya doing" or "How's is going" when you walk into an establishment, is not a question, it is a statement. You reply the same back.
Link Posted: 1/17/2006 9:15:59 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/17/2006 9:16:12 AM EDT by BeetleBailey]
you left out the biggest one:

OUR WIMMINZ ARE ELEVENTYBILLION TIMES PURDIER THAN YOUR FRIGID SKANKS!!!
Link Posted: 1/17/2006 9:18:21 AM EDT
Go home you yankee!
Link Posted: 1/17/2006 9:19:40 AM EDT
The citizens of New Orleans showed us a Yanks a thing or two about how to act in a time of crisis, I tell you!
Link Posted: 1/17/2006 9:26:24 AM EDT

Originally Posted By BeetleBailey:
you left out the biggest one:

OUR WIMMINZ ARE ELEVENTYBILLION TIMES PURDIER THAN YOUR FRIGID SKANKS!!!




I gotta agree on that one.
Link Posted: 1/17/2006 9:33:38 AM EDT

Originally Posted By BeetleBailey:
you left out the biggest one:

OUR WIMMINZ ARE ELEVENTYBILLION TIMES PURDIER THAN YOUR FRIGID SKANKS!!!




you aint just whistling Dixie.
Link Posted: 1/17/2006 9:35:07 AM EDT

Originally Posted By sc_beerbarge:
North vs. South
The North has coffee houses, Where hippies recite poetry
The South has Waffle Houses

The North has dating services, Because they are too stupid to find one on their own
The South has family reunions. Because we actually have families

The North has switchblade knives,
The South has Bowie Kinves

The North has double last names,Because they don't know who their daddy is
The South has double first names. In Honor of grandparents

The North has Indy car races, Itty bitty 4 cylinder euro trash
The South has stock car races. American made V8 horsepower

The North has Cream of Wheat, Creme of WHAT?
The South has grits. Gotta do something from the leftover mash

The North has green salads, And waldorf (fruit) salad
The South has collard greens. and turnip greens and mustard greens and....

The North has lobsters, and crabs
The South has crawfish. and catfish (YUM!)

The North has the rust belt, Nuff said
The South has the Bible Belt. And all that goes along with it

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . .

In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. In the north, everyone is so self centered they don't care about helping any one.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store....Entertainment for the whole family do not buy food at this store.

Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are air ya?"

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it. [emeril Lagasse]Pork fat rules!!![/Emeril lagasse]

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper. Of course the liberal yankee schools try to ruin everything American any way.

Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here. And usually about a northerner

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there Great place to pickup the babes!!!

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim. Because the liberal yankees haven't stolen OUR guns yet!!

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway. We don't have lawns, we have yards

AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits. Can't fix ruined genetics and they will still be raised by damn yankees

Send this to four people that ain't related to you, and I reckon your life will turn into a country music song 'fore you know it But you will be too stupid to understand it.

Your kin would get a kick out of it too. If you can identify any. Whose your daddy?



OK, a few add ons here......Courtesy of a graduate from check-your-neck tech!!!
Link Posted: 1/17/2006 9:39:08 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Tomislav:
The citizens of New Orleans showed us a Yanks a thing or two about how to act in a time of crisis, I tell you!

They aint really southerners. They are french.
Link Posted: 1/17/2006 9:40:43 AM EDT
Both are teh ghey!
Link Posted: 1/17/2006 9:43:45 AM EDT

Originally Posted By BeetleBailey:
you left out the biggest one:

OUR WIMMINZ ARE ELEVENTYBILLION TIMES PURDIER THAN YOUR FRIGID SKANKS!!!



I AGREE
Top Top