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Posted: 1/6/2006 6:05:18 AM EDT
Mrs Pic saw a young Marine in a T-shirt that said "Guns don't kill people, I kill people. USMC",
and griped to me about it. When she told me I smirked and that made her even more upset. I told her to let the Marines have their little joke and get over it. I got a sensitivity lecture for my trouble, but I turned the tide. I gave her a lecture on GI humor(It's a vent from seeing too much ugliness.) I think Menopause has a part of this, but how many of your wives don't appreciate GI humor? ETE: Thanks to you Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines that share your humor with me. |
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right there with you pic....
Gotta give them something, since many give all... |
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I like the one:
When it absolutely, positively has to be destroyed overnight. U.S. Marines |
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Luckily I don't have to explain to my active duty spouse.
The best t-shirt (military humor) I ever saw was in Groton many years ago. Our sub was host to a visiting British sub. During the picnic/volleyball/beer drinking phase, a young man off of the Brit sub had a t-shirt that stated: Nuke 'em till they glow in the dark, then shoot them. Still brings a grin to my face. |
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I've always found GI humor (the inventive stuff, not the really crude stuff) to be hilarious. Even little stuff like "Eyeball, Mark I"
I share with my wife when appropriate. She sometimes gets it, sometimes not. Meh. |
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Man I remeber all the good cadences that would make Democrats die
Napalm sticks to kids etc. My squad gave me a plaque and a trophy statue of a trooper pulling in his chute. After the Good luck stuff it has. "Cause Napalm Sticks To Kids" on it. |
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I have a T-shirt that says that. |
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GI humor is far better than GI "fuck it I don't care anymore."
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My best friend was a missilier in the Air Force and their unit patch was a picture of an ICBM with the slogan (I might be paraphrasing it a bit), "Guaranteed hot and fast or the next one is free". I always wanted one of those patches.
Oh and Pic, my wife doesn't get it either. |
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That would be "Eyeball: Mark I, Mod 0" |
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My wife digs on the Military humor.
My favorite: It's a war, not a bake sale. Some people need to be killed. |
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Wife that doesn't get it here checking in. She gets aggrivated when I sing cadence to my 2 Y/O daughter when we go for walks in the woods around the house. My daughter LOVES it, but my wife doesn't seem to think it appropriate that I am singing about:
A little bird With a yellow bill Was sittin' on The window sill I lured him in With a piece of bread And then I smashed his...little head! That is always accompanied by the associated stomps and claps that make the song so endearing. Hey at least I'm not singing about Ralph the Airborne Ranger Here's a small sample: "I'll break down the walls with my $ucking balls said Ralph the Airborne Ranger!" That's probably enough to get my point accross. The song is rather profane. I still catch myself singing it when I'm tired and miserable, and it never fails to cheer me up. I guess the wife will never understand. |
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My girlfriend doesn't have a mouth or nose..
just a big rubber hose.... I'd buy her anything to keep her alive... she's got a neat TV.... it's callled an EEG .... I'd buy her anything to keep her alive... |
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That's a catchy as it is wrong. ETA: My wife doesn't understand my old army humor with my buddies - but that's because it's in a different language (she doesn't speak Danish) |
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Load another magazine, in my trusty M16. Cuz all I ever wanna see! Is bodies, bleeding bodies. Throw another hand grenade! Should have seen the mess I made. Cuz all I ever wanna see, Is bodies, broken bodies. Stab em with the bayonet! If he squirms you're not done yet! Cuz all I ever wanna see, Is bodies, cut-up bodies. Call some more TACAIR. On that bunker over there. Cuz all I ever wanna see, Is bodies burnin bodies!
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No wife, but I love it.
To err is human. To forgive is divine. Neither is Marine Corps policy. It's God's responsibility to forgive Osama Bin Laden. It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting. USMC |
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Snipers.
If you run, you will only die tired. I love that shirt. So many people have negative reactions. Makes me lov eit more. |
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My wife grew up in a Marine Corps town so I don't have any problems in that regard.
With others? Yeah. BFD. She says she likes it that I am a little crazy. My main GF when I was in the service was a lib in college. She didn't get it but let me have my space with regards to it. Screw the socialists though, each and every one of them. |
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You left out the main phrase, which we always sang as we approached the hospital...and then quieted down.... My girls a vegetable. She lives in a hospital I'd buy her anything, to keep her alive (man I wish I could remember more of the refrains, anyone remember them?) She had such pretty hair now she is bald up there I'd buy her anything to keep her alive she used to run and play now shes................ (in a bed all day?) I'd buy her anything to keep her alive |
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With pretty much every pard I've had somewhere in the photo album is a pic of somebody (maybe even the owner) taking a dump in the open. Near as I can tell it's difficult NOT to have one. And I've never met a wife/GF (even my own) who absolutley did not get this.
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That, by far, is the best one I've ever heard! |
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I had a t-shirt, pic of a mushroom cloud on the horizon with a boomer stemaing into it.."24 Empty Missile Tubes, a Mushroom Cloud, Now it's Miller Time" along with Nuke'em 'til they glow then shoot them in the dark. Used to wear both to class when i was in college.
My wife tolerates but does not understand my humor, which was pretty F'ed up before I joined the Army (at 17). My girls a vegetable She lives in the hospital I'd buy her anyhting to keep her alive.... She's got no arms or legs Just got four wooden pegs, She's got no hair at all Looks like a big cue ball She got her own TV Calls it an EKG My baby's got no eyes Just two holes I sodomize She's got no liver or spleen Just got a big machine My girl pees through a tube But I still play with her boobs I had the females in my PLDC class complain to me about this cadence. They shut up when I pointed out the fact that they were, between them, fucking 7 or 8 different guys was lot worse than a silly song. Also had a female E-7 at Ft Dix complain about it. She actually stopped her car and got out to call me over.....I told her that I was training soldiers, not the San Francisco ass pumpers glee club, and I'd sing whatever I wanted to. Then I beat a hasty retreat! |
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My team leader always calls this one out since he used to be on brads
Whats the sound of the twenty-five? BOOM BOOM Whats the sound of the twenty-five? BOOM BOOM Shoot, move and communicate BOOM BOOM Shoot, move and communicate BOOM BOOM That one and Captain Jack are my favorites. |
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My wife hates it when I put "bread, loaf, one each" on her grocery list.
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Hmmmmm...we used a different adjective at Fort Jackson. The women did anyway. Guess the guys had to use more sensitive euphemisms |
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Well, since I now have a little girl and another one on the way, it's become a kinder, gentler family. It took me months to cull the swear from my verbage after ETSing. My wife's intensive program of nagging, harrassment, and restriction from booty had me back speaking the Queen's English in no time. I remember in Korea my squad mates could speak to each other using nothing but explatives. I'm talking about entire conversations with nothing but cursing. It was funny how everyone seemed to understand. |
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I hear ya. I have 2 boys...and considering I was raised by a Navy man, had 2 brothers who were Army, Marine (respectively) I TOO have learned to curb my un-ladylike tongue. But there are days when it just...er...comes out! |
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wasnt in the .mil but my parents were. also no wife :P but i just had to reply with this
"Napalm Sticks to kids" |
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We had to stop singing our more colorful songs at Ft. Ord when the post comander's wife heard them while driving thru a training area.
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Funniest thing I have read tonight! |
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What happened to: The moral of My story is To get some head, You use some bread. ? |
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Two I haven't seen mentioned yet:
Crush the town and kill the people Park my M1 in the square! Shoot my main gun at the steeple Kill them while they are in prayer! <<<<(at this point the L/Cpl singing it is cut off by the GySgt, because the NavSci department had just lectured on how we shouldn't use cadences that make us sound like psychos not an hour earlier) Here comes peter cotton tail Hoppin down the bunny trail BOOM Land Mine Dead bunny Bloody bunny Subsequent verses replace boom, land mine with: Bang, Sniper Slash, Kabar etc. |
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lets not forget the classic n00b pranks:
box of grid squares 50ft of flight line go to the comm shack and ask for the prc-E7 im having issues with an ID10-T |
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Here are a few more:
another version of Napalm
and
and finally, a good jump school jodie
As far as jodies go, there are these two. I can't type either of them here as it is a SURE violation of the CoC. WARNING: These are is NOT for the innocent. They are the TUBGIRL of jodies. www.usafatoday.com/Folklore/modules/news/article.php?storyid=190 www.usafatoday.com/Folklore/modules/news/article.php?storyid=194 |
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Another version of the napalm,
Napalm sticks to babies Burning burning babies. I forget the whole thing but get some good looks when I mention it. |
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LOL!!!!! |
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The missus gets a few of my mil humor stories. Others, she looks at me like I'm from Mars.
Her parents don't get it at all. They're waaaay too religious. |
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Tried to pull out the potato you keep in your mouth while you're talking Danish ? |
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headlight fluid. |
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Tag wish i could remember some of the "PREBAN" cadence from Fort Benning. unfortunatly when i was there our DS had to sneak em in when knobody was listining.
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