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Posted: 1/6/2006 6:05:18 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2006 10:10:55 AM EDT by piccolo]
Mrs Pic saw a young Marine in a T-shirt that said "Guns don't kill people, I kill people. USMC",

and griped to me about it. When she told me I smirked and that made her even more upset.

I told her to let the Marines have their little joke and get over it.


I got a sensitivity lecture for my trouble, but I turned the tide. I gave her a lecture on GI humor(It's a vent from seeing too much ugliness.)

I think Menopause has a part of this, but how many of your wives don't appreciate GI humor?

ETE: Thanks to you Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines that share your humor with me.

Link Posted: 1/6/2006 8:03:08 AM EDT
right there with you pic....
Gotta give them something, since many give all...
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 8:08:17 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2006 8:08:32 AM EDT by xinflt]
GI humor is the best. I miss it dearly!
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 8:10:36 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2006 8:11:08 AM EDT by gobbledog]
I like the one:

When it absolutely, positively has to be destroyed overnight.
U.S. Marines
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 8:13:28 AM EDT
Luckily I don't have to explain to my active duty spouse.

The best t-shirt (military humor) I ever saw was in Groton many years ago. Our sub was host to a visiting British sub. During the picnic/volleyball/beer drinking phase, a young man off of the Brit sub had a t-shirt that stated:

Nuke 'em till they glow in the dark, then shoot them.

Still brings a grin to my face.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 8:14:03 AM EDT
I've always found GI humor (the inventive stuff, not the really crude stuff) to be hilarious. Even little stuff like "Eyeball, Mark I"

I share with my wife when appropriate. She sometimes gets it, sometimes not. Meh.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 8:14:50 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2006 8:16:00 AM EDT by WildBoar]
Man I remeber all the good cadences that would make Democrats die
Napalm sticks to kids etc.

My squad gave me a plaque and a trophy statue of a trooper pulling in his chute. After the Good luck stuff it has. "Cause Napalm Sticks To Kids" on it.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 8:17:08 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2006 8:32:49 AM EDT by Persephone]

Originally Posted By gobbledog:
I like the one:

When it absolutely, positively has to be destroyed overnight.
U.S. Marines



I have a T-shirt that says that.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 8:18:15 AM EDT
Best one I ever saw, we pulled into some port in Japan and a bunch of the guys had T-Shirts with a mushroom cloud on the front and on the back it said "Made in America, tested in Japan"
Didn't last long let me tell ya!! Command had no sense of humor!
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 8:21:38 AM EDT
i got one that sez, "war: mankind's oldest contact sport"
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 8:23:04 AM EDT
GI humor is far better than GI "fuck it I don't care anymore."
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 8:24:32 AM EDT
My best friend was a missilier in the Air Force and their unit patch was a picture of an ICBM with the slogan (I might be paraphrasing it a bit), "Guaranteed hot and fast or the next one is free". I always wanted one of those patches.

Oh and Pic, my wife doesn't get it either.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 8:25:57 AM EDT

Originally Posted By macman37:
I've always found GI humor (the inventive stuff, not the really crude stuff) to be hilarious. Even little stuff like "Eyeball, Mark I"

I share with my wife when appropriate. She sometimes gets it, sometimes not. Meh.



That would be "Eyeball: Mark I, Mod 0"
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 8:30:54 AM EDT
My wife digs on the Military humor.

My favorite: It's a war, not a bake sale. Some people need to be killed.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 8:39:23 AM EDT
Wife that doesn't get it here checking in. She gets aggrivated when I sing cadence to my 2 Y/O daughter when we go for walks in the woods around the house. My daughter LOVES it, but my wife doesn't seem to think it appropriate that I am singing about:

A little bird

With a yellow bill

Was sittin' on

The window sill

I lured him in

With a piece of bread

And then I smashed his...little head!

That is always accompanied by the associated stomps and claps that make the song so endearing.

Hey at least I'm not singing about Ralph the Airborne Ranger
Here's a small sample:
"I'll break down the walls with my $ucking balls said Ralph the Airborne Ranger!"
That's probably enough to get my point accross. The song is rather profane. I still catch myself singing it when I'm tired and miserable, and it never fails to cheer me up.

I guess the wife will never understand.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 8:44:39 AM EDT
My girlfriend doesn't have a mouth or nose..

just a big rubber hose....

I'd buy her anything to keep her alive...

she's got a neat TV....

it's callled an EEG ....

I'd buy her anything to keep her alive...
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 8:49:29 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2006 8:51:20 AM EDT by DK-Prof]

Originally Posted By JIMBEAM:
My girlfriend doesn't have a mouth or nose..

just a big rubber hose....

I'd buy her anything to keep her alive...

she's got a neat TV....

it's callled an EEG ....

I'd buy her anything to keep her alive...




That's a catchy as it is wrong.



ETA: My wife doesn't understand my old army humor with my buddies - but that's because it's in a different language (she doesn't speak Danish)
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 9:02:37 AM EDT
Load another magazine, in my trusty M16. Cuz all I ever wanna see! Is bodies, bleeding bodies. Throw another hand grenade! Should have seen the mess I made. Cuz all I ever wanna see, Is bodies, broken bodies. Stab em with the bayonet! If he squirms you're not done yet! Cuz all I ever wanna see, Is bodies, cut-up bodies. Call some more TACAIR. On that bunker over there. Cuz all I ever wanna see, Is bodies burnin bodies!

Link Posted: 1/6/2006 9:08:31 AM EDT
No wife, but I love it.

To err is human. To forgive is divine. Neither is Marine Corps policy.

It's God's responsibility to forgive Osama Bin Laden. It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting. USMC
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 9:15:33 AM EDT
Snipers.
If you run, you will only die tired.


I love that shirt. So many people have negative reactions. Makes me lov eit more.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 9:19:38 AM EDT
My wife grew up in a Marine Corps town so I don't have any problems in that regard.
With others? Yeah. BFD.

She says she likes it that I am a little crazy.

My main GF when I was in the service was a lib in college. She didn't get it but let me have my space with regards to it.
Screw the socialists though, each and every one of them.

Link Posted: 1/6/2006 9:20:05 AM EDT

Originally Posted By JIMBEAM:
My girlfriend doesn't have a mouth or nose..

just a big rubber hose....

I'd buy her anything to keep her alive...

she's got a neat TV....

it's callled an EEG ....

I'd buy her anything to keep her alive...



You left out the main phrase, which we always sang as we approached the hospital...and then quieted down....


My girls a vegetable.

She lives in a hospital

I'd buy her anything,

to keep her alive

(man I wish I could remember more of the refrains, anyone remember them?)

She had such pretty hair

now she is bald up there

I'd buy her anything

to keep her alive

she used to run and play

now shes................ (in a bed all day?)

I'd buy her anything

to keep her alive
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 9:31:45 AM EDT
With pretty much every pard I've had somewhere in the photo album is a pic of somebody (maybe even the owner) taking a dump in the open. Near as I can tell it's difficult NOT to have one. And I've never met a wife/GF (even my own) who absolutley did not get this.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 9:32:24 AM EDT

Originally Posted By yoslick:
Best one I ever saw, we pulled into some port in Japan and a bunch of the guys had T-Shirts with a mushroom cloud on the front and on the back it said "Made in America, tested in Japan"Didn't last long let me tell ya!! Command had no sense of humor!

Slick



That, by far, is the best one I've ever heard!
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 9:33:01 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 9:40:15 AM EDT

Originally Posted By TimJ: I told her that I was training soldiers, not the San Francisco ass pumpers glee club, and I'd sing whatever I wanted to.
That's a good one! I got to write that one down.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 9:41:19 AM EDT
My team leader always calls this one out since he used to be on brads

Whats the sound of the twenty-five?
BOOM BOOM
Whats the sound of the twenty-five?
BOOM BOOM
Shoot, move and communicate
BOOM BOOM
Shoot, move and communicate
BOOM BOOM

That one and Captain Jack are my favorites.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 10:02:56 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2006 10:03:41 AM EDT by limaxray]
As a missileer, we've specialized in morbid humor.

About twelve years ago, when I was on alert, I was talking to a friend of my wife's who was really big in the anti-nuke thing, to the point of extremism. Her group at the time, Students Against Nuclear Energy (SANE) was even against X-rays.

As we're talking, I made the comment that I actually enjoyed the job. I didn't get far enough past that statement to say what I wanted to, that I felt that I was contributing to national security, etc etc, before she started giving me crap about enjoying the killing of millions of people.

My response: "Enjoy it, hell, I look forward to it! In fact, I've been working on the perfect ICBM mission--half the warheads will arrive first, but they'll be hollow, and spread M&Ms and Snickers bars in the streets. The second half will arrive five minutes later--this way we can catch all the women and children out in the open!"

She didn't think it was nearly as funny as I did.


Door art, Ellsworth AFB launch control center--now part of the Cold War Monument in Rapid City.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 10:39:56 AM EDT
My wife hates it when I put "bread, loaf, one each" on her grocery list.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 10:42:10 AM EDT

Originally Posted By limaxray:


My response: "Enjoy it, hell, I look forward to it! In fact, I've been working on the perfect ICBM mission--half the warheads will arrive first, but they'll be hollow, and spread M&Ms and Snickers bars in the streets. The second half will arrive five minutes later--this way we can catch all the women and children out in the open!"






Link Posted: 1/6/2006 10:44:13 AM EDT

Originally Posted By 2IDdoc:
Wife that doesn't get it here checking in. She gets aggrivated when I sing cadence to my 2 Y/O daughter when we go for walks in the woods around the house. My daughter LOVES it, but my wife doesn't seem to think it appropriate that I am singing about:

A little bird

With a yellow bill

Was sittin' on

The window sill

I lured him in

With a piece of bread

And then I smashed his...little head!

That is always accompanied by the associated stomps and claps that make the song so endearing.

Hey at least I'm not singing about Ralph the Airborne Ranger
Here's a small sample:
"I'll break down the walls with my $ucking balls said Ralph the Airborne Ranger!"
That's probably enough to get my point accross. The song is rather profane. I still catch myself singing it when I'm tired and miserable, and it never fails to cheer me up.

I guess the wife will never understand.



Hmmmmm...we used a different adjective at Fort Jackson. The women did anyway.
Guess the guys had to use more sensitive euphemisms
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 10:53:46 AM EDT

Hmmmmm...we used a different adjective at Fort Jackson. The women did anyway.
Guess the guys had to use more sensitive euphemisms



Well, since I now have a little girl and another one on the way, it's become a kinder, gentler family. It took me months to cull the swear from my verbage after ETSing. My wife's intensive program of nagging, harrassment, and restriction from booty had me back speaking the Queen's English in no time.

I remember in Korea my squad mates could speak to each other using nothing but explatives. I'm talking about entire conversations with nothing but cursing. It was funny how everyone seemed to understand.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 11:09:51 AM EDT

Originally Posted By 2IDdoc:

Hmmmmm...we used a different adjective at Fort Jackson. The women did anyway.
Guess the guys had to use more sensitive euphemisms



Well, since I now have a little girl and another one on the way, it's become a kinder, gentler family. It took me months to cull the swear from my verbage after ETSing. My wife's intensive program of nagging, harrassment, and restriction from booty had me back speaking the Queen's English in no time.

I remember in Korea my squad mates could speak to each other using nothing but explatives. I'm talking about entire conversations with nothing but cursing. It was funny how everyone seemed to understand.



I hear ya. I have 2 boys...and considering I was raised by a Navy man, had 2 brothers who were Army, Marine (respectively) I TOO have learned to curb my un-ladylike tongue.

But there are days when it just...er...comes out!
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 11:10:47 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2006 11:19:12 AM EDT by thompsondd]
My wife is a military brat. My FIL is a retired USMC E8 (E9 select). She understands it probably better than I do.



Link Posted: 1/6/2006 1:47:44 PM EDT
No sky too...
No muff too tuff..

Airborne!!!

Link Posted: 1/6/2006 2:56:09 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2006 3:24:58 PM EDT by cyrax777]
wasnt in the .mil but my parents were. also no wife :P but i just had to reply with this

"Napalm Sticks to kids"
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:03:12 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:27:18 PM EDT
We had to stop singing our more colorful songs at Ft. Ord when the post comander's wife heard them while driving thru a training area.
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:38:20 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:

Originally Posted By limaxray:


My response: "Enjoy it, hell, I look forward to it! In fact, I've been working on the perfect ICBM mission--half the warheads will arrive first, but they'll be hollow, and spread M&Ms and Snickers bars in the streets. The second half will arrive five minutes later--this way we can catch all the women and children out in the open!"








Funniest thing I have read tonight!
Link Posted: 1/6/2006 3:48:55 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2006 3:49:21 PM EDT by Ajax72]

Originally Posted By PlaymoreMinds:

Originally Posted By 2IDdoc:
Wife that doesn't get it here checking in. She gets aggrivated when I sing cadence to my 2 Y/O daughter when we go for walks in the woods around the house. My daughter LOVES it, but my wife doesn't seem to think it appropriate that I am singing about:

A little bird

With a yellow bill

Was sittin' on

The window sill

I lured him in

With a piece of bread

And then I smashed his...little head!

That is always accompanied by the associated stomps and claps that make the song so endearing.

snip





Hmmmmm...we used a different adjective at Fort Jackson. The women did anyway.
Guess the guys had to use more sensitive euphemisms



What happened to:

The moral of

My story is

To get some head,

You use some bread.

?
Link Posted: 1/7/2006 8:55:17 AM EDT
Two I haven't seen mentioned yet:

Crush the town and kill the people
Park my M1 in the square!

Shoot my main gun at the steeple
Kill them while they are in prayer!
<<<<(at this point the L/Cpl singing it is cut off by the GySgt, because the NavSci department had just lectured on how we shouldn't use cadences that make us sound like psychos not an hour earlier)

Here comes peter cotton tail
Hoppin down the bunny trail

BOOM
Land Mine
Dead bunny
Bloody bunny

Subsequent verses replace boom, land mine with:

Bang, Sniper

Slash, Kabar

etc.
Link Posted: 1/7/2006 10:21:10 AM EDT
lets not forget the classic n00b pranks:

box of grid squares
50ft of flight line
go to the comm shack and ask for the prc-E7
im having issues with an ID10-T
Link Posted: 1/7/2006 12:27:25 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/7/2006 12:48:03 PM EDT by thompsondd]
Here are a few more:


Burn the town and rape the women
Spray your napalm on the square
Do it on a Sunday morning
Get 'em on the way to prayer

Pass out candy to the children
Watch 'em all gather round
Put a belt into your '60
Mow the little bastards down!

Aim your HE [High Explosive shells] at a convent
Lay it on the cross on top
Watch the nuns run through the courtyard
Watch their bodies turn to slop!

Aim your Nike [It was a missile before it was a sneaker] at a rest home
Then go pull the fire alarm
Watch the wheelchairs start a 'rollin
Watch the sickies buy the farm!

Mother and child in a pit
Baby suckin' on mama's tit
Dow Chemical don't give a shit! [Historical note: This Jodie was sung by Louis Gossett Jr.'s character in "Officer and a Gentleman", except that they substituted "chemical burns" for "Dow Chemical" in the movie.]
Napalm sticks to kids!

Peasants in the noonday sun
Phantoms on a strafing run
Coppertone won't help 'em none
'Cause napalm sticks to kids!



another version of Napalm


We shoot the young the sick and lame
We do our best to kill and maim Because all the kills all count the same
Napalm Sticks to Kids

Flyin' low across the trees
Pilots doin' what they please
Droppin' frags on refugees
Napalm Sticks to Kids

It made us feel so good inside
When the strong men wept and the women cried
But what we really liked is the children fried
Napalm Sticks to Kids

See that family over there
Watch me get'm with a pair
Blood and guts just everywhere
Napalm Sticks to Kids

CIA with guns for hire
Montaignards around the fire
Napalm makes that fire higher
Napalm Sticks to Kids

Baby suckin' on a mother's tit
Gook down in a fifty pit
Dow Chemical doesn't give a shit
Napalm Sticks to Kids

Attack some kids when you go downtown
By throwin' some candy on the ground
Then grease 'm when they gather 'round
Napalm Sticks to Kids

A squad of Cong in the grass
But all the fightin's long since passed
Crispy Critters in a mass
Napalm Sticks to Kids

LOH's out to have a blast
Drop some peon kids enmasse
Send the remains to the Chief of Staff
Napalm Sticks to Kids

Oxcarts rollin' down the road
Peasants with a heavy load
They're all VC when the bombs explode
Napalm Sticks to Kids

Shootin' women's lotsa fun
Try killin' one that's pregnant, son
You'll get two for the price of one
Napalm Sticks to Kids

Flyin' low and feelin' mean
See that family by the stream
Drop some napalm and hear 'm scream
Napalm Sticks to Kids

See that gook down on his knees
Lost some fleshets in the breeze
Find his arms nailed to the trees
Napalm Sticks to Kids

NVA are all hardcore
Watch us nail 'm to the jungle floor
Throw our psyops out th' door
Napalm Sticks to Kids

Eighteen kids in a no fire zone
Books under arms and goin' home
Last in line goes home alone
Napalm Sticks to Kids

Chuck's in a sampan sittin' in th' stern
Thinks his boat'll never burn
Them fuckin' gooks'll never learn
Napalm Sticks to Kids

See th' little kids jump and shout
Dropped some napalm without a doubt
Watch 'm try and put it out
Napalm Sticks to Kids

I've been around the things I've seen
Some people who are mighty mean
Th' gooks ya kill, they make ya clean
Napalm Sticks to Kids

I've only seen it happen twice
But both times it was pretty nice
Shootin' peasants plantin' rice
Napalm Sticks to Kids

Napalm son is lots of fun
When dropped from a bomb or shot from a gun
It gets the gooks when they're on the run
Napalm Sticks to Kids

Some people say it's not so neat
To see gooks burnin' in th' street
But burnin' flesh smells mighty sweet
Napalm Sticks to Kids

Gooks in the open, makin' hay
But I can hear them gunships say
They'll be no ChuHois today
Napalm Sticks to Kids

Shoot civilians where they sit
Take some pictures as you split
All your life you'll remember it
Napalm Sticks to Kids

They'se great shape for the shape they'se in
But they'se no way that they can win
With napalm rollin' down their skin
Napalm Sticks to Kids



and


Dead puppies aren't much fun
They don't come when you call
They don't play with red rubber balls
They just lie there in the hall


My puppy used to play
Now he just lies in the yard all day
Puppys' dead, puppy's gone
Puppy's out rotting on the lawn
or
My puppy used to play
But he hasn't moved in days
Mom says puppy's days are through
She will put him in the stew

Dead kittys aren't much better
They just lie in the kitty litter
Kitty's dead, kitty's through
Gonna put kitty in the stew
or
Dead kitties aren't much better
They just lie in the kitty litter
Their fur gets soft and sticky
Mom says kitty's going in the hibachi

My puppy used to run
Till I shot him with my gun
6-round load in a 12-gauge pump
Gotta throw puppy in the dump

Dead gerbils' fur congeals
They just lie in their spinning wheels
Skin so pink and eyes so white
Gerbils go down in just one bite

Dead hamsters are the worst
When you bite them, they just burst
Blood will trickle down your chin
You won't eat dead hamsters again



and finally, a good jump school jodie


Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
He ain't gonna jump no more

He was just a rookie and he surely shook with fright
He checked all his equipment, made sure his pack was tight
He had to sit and listen to those awful engines roar
And he ain't gonna jump no more
Chorus

Is everybody happy" cried the sergeant looking up
Our hero feebly answered "yes" and then they stood him up
He jumped right out into the blast his static line unhooked
And he ain't gonna jump no more
Chorus

He counted long, he counted loud he waited for the shock
He felt the wind, he felt the clouds, he felt the awful drop
He pulled the cord, the silk spilled out and wrapped around his legs
And he ain't gonna jump no more
Chorus

The risers swung around his neck, connectors cracked his dome
Suspension lines were tied in knots around his skinny bones
The canopy became his shroud; he hurtled to the ground
And he ain't gonna jump no more
Chorus

The days he'd lived, loved and laughed kept running through his mind
He thought about the girl back home, the one he'd left behind
He thought about about the medics and wondered what they'd find
And he ain't gonna jump no more
Chorus

The ambulance was on the spot the jeeps were running wild
The medics jumped and shouted and scream with glee rolled up their sleeves and smiled
For it had been a week or more since last a chute had failed
And he ain't gonna jump no more
Chorus

He hit the ground the sound was "splatt," blood went spurting high
His comrades was heard to say a "helluve way to die!"
He lay there rolling in the welter of his gore
And he ain't gonna jump no more
Chorus

There was blood on the risers, there was brains upon the chute
His intestines were a' dangling from his Paratrooper suit
He was a mess; they picked him up and poured him from his boots
And he ain't gonna jump no more
Chorus

. . . another version
Here's the historically accurate version of "Blood on the Risers," as verified by Ft. Benning, home of the Airborne and incidentally a really crappy place.

First jumper on the wingstrut called the spotter as he looked
Our hero now was fearless for he'd read Russ Gunby's book
He jumped right out into the blast, his static line unhooked
He ain't going to jump no more

Gory, Gory, what a helluva way to die
Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
Gory, gory what a helluva way to die
He ain't going to jump no more

He counted long, he counted loud, six thousand was his goal
He tumbled out of stable and began a forward roll
He spun out flat, began to dive and went out of control
He ain't gonna jump no more
Chorus

The risers wrapped around his neck, connectors cracked his dome
The lines were snarled and tied in knots around his skinny bones
The canopy became his shroud, he hurtled to the ground
He ain't gonna jump no more
Chorus

He pulled the handle on his reserve and threw it far away
He tried to grab the skirt, but all his thumbs got in the way
He threw it out all full of holes and then began to pray
He ain't gonna jump no more
Chorus

The days he'd lived and loved and laughed kept running through his mind
He thought about the girl below, the one he'd left behind
He thought about the medico's and wondered what they'd find
He ain't gonna jump no more
Chorus

The ambulance was on the spot, its mighty siren wailed
The medics rolled their sleeves and smiled as through the air he sailed
For it had been a week or more since last a chute had failed
He ain't gonna jump no more
Chorus

The drop zone coming fast, a hundred miles or more
"I get his helmet and his boots," he heard a buddy roar
He bounced around the runway in the welter of his gore
He ain't gonna jump no more
Chorus

His pelvis crashed into his chest, his ribs poked through his side
His helmet bounced a hundred feet, his head was still inside
The ground crew stood there laughing as he rolled around and died
He ain't gonna jump no more
Chorus

There was blood upon the risers, there was brains upon the chute
Intestines were a danglin' from his brand new Telsan boots
They picked him up still in his shroud and poured him from his boots
He ain't gonna jump no more
Chorus



As far as jodies go, there are these two. I can't type either of them here as it is a SURE violation of the CoC.

WARNING: These are is NOT for the innocent. They are the TUBGIRL of jodies.

www.usafatoday.com/Folklore/modules/news/article.php?storyid=190

www.usafatoday.com/Folklore/modules/news/article.php?storyid=194
Link Posted: 1/7/2006 12:42:18 PM EDT
Another version of the napalm,

Napalm sticks to babies
Burning burning babies.


I forget the whole thing but get some good looks when I mention it.
Link Posted: 1/7/2006 12:48:49 PM EDT

Originally Posted By limaxray:
My response: "Enjoy it, hell, I look forward to it! In fact, I've been working on the perfect ICBM mission--half the warheads will arrive first, but they'll be hollow, and spread M&Ms and Snickers bars in the streets. The second half will arrive five minutes later--this way we can catch all the women and children out in the open!"



LOL!!!!!
Link Posted: 1/7/2006 12:56:42 PM EDT
The missus gets a few of my mil humor stories. Others, she looks at me like I'm from Mars.

Her parents don't get it at all. They're waaaay too religious.
Link Posted: 1/7/2006 1:02:02 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/7/2006 1:22:43 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/7/2006 3:41:56 PM EDT by julenissen]


ETA: My wife doesn't understand my old army humor with my buddies - but that's because it's in a different language (she doesn't speak Danish)



Tried to pull out the potato you keep in your mouth while you're talking Danish ?
Link Posted: 1/7/2006 1:23:53 PM EDT
.
Link Posted: 1/7/2006 1:25:22 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DvlDog:
lets not forget the classic n00b pranks:

box of grid squares
50ft of flight line
go to the comm shack and ask for the prc-E7
im having issues with an ID10-T



headlight fluid.
Link Posted: 1/7/2006 1:30:36 PM EDT
Tag wish i could remember some of the "PREBAN" cadence from Fort Benning. unfortunatly when i was there our DS had to sneak em in when knobody was listining.
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