Steve was excited about buying a new hunting rifle. So, he decided to go bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it.As the sound of the rifle shot faded away, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see a BIG brown bear.The bear said, "You've got two choices, pal. Either I maul you to death or we have sex."Steve decided to bend over.Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Steve soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out to the woods, where he found the offending bear and shot it.As the sound of the rifle shot faded away, there was another tap on his shoulder.This time, a big BLACK bear stood right next to him. The bear said,"That was a huge mistake, Sam. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have really rough sex."Again, Steve thought it was better to comply.Although he survived, it would take several months before Steve finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the black bear, and shot it. He felt sweet revenge.As the sound of the rifle shot faded away, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant grizzly bear standing there.The grizzly said, "Admit it, Steve, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"

[BD]Ouch!

Semper Fi

What a way to go!

Drowning At The Guinness Brewery

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her
door.

"Brenda, may I come in?"  he asks.  "I've somethin' to tell ya."

"Of course you can come in.  You're always welcome, Tim.  But where's my
husband?"

"That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda.  There was an accident down at
the Guinness brewery."

"Oh, God no!"  cries Brenda.  "Please don't tell me..."

"I must, Brenda.  Your husband Shamus is dead and gone.  I'm sorry."

Finally, she looked up at Tim.  "How did it happen, Tim?"

"It was terrible, Brenda.  He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."

"Oh my dear Jesus!  But you must tell me true, Tim.  Did he at least go
quickly?"

"Well, no Brenda, no."

"No?"

"Fact is, he got out three times to pee."