Posted: 7/23/2005 2:52:55 PM EDT
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Come across someone that made you feel physically sick? I was out with a couple of friends last night and we decided to go to a diner that we haven't been to in a while. When we got there, I saw someone I haven't seen in almost a year. The reason he and I stopped being friends (at least on my end) was that he has abused me and has been talking a lot of shit. So, I see him and he acts as though nothing has gone wrong. I have never felt so sick in my life. |
verbal abuse and he has slapped her once across the face. ive met him a few times and from the first time i met him i didnt like her hanging around with him. he's nothing but a loser and i dont want that around me or frtloop. im very glad she doesnt hang around him anymore. ETA: i was not around when that happened or he would have been seriously injured. i heard about everything after we got together. |
I wasn't afraid of him for the first time in my life when I saw him yesterday....but there was still a little fear. The guys that I was with wanted to beat the shit out of him but they decided that if he made one wrong move in front of them, they wouldn't hold back. The fact that he honestly thought that we were going to go back to being friends and talking when I wouldn't even look at him was beyond me. I hid in the bathroom for what felt like forever trying not to get sick from the sight of him...but that didn't happen either. |
What afplayboy said is right. It was mostly emotional and verbal abuse but he did hit me across the face once. And I'm sure it would have been more than once if I hung out with him alone after that. |
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It's a natural feeling, but hang in there. He may have hurt you physically because he's stronger, but remember this: "You can only be insulted by someone you respect" He's a piece of shit so anything he might have said to you, imagine it was a giant piece of poo speaking. He's a joke, and deep down inside he knows it too, that's why he has to treat women the way he does. |
The guy sounds like a real piece of work  , don't let it get to you - you've obviously moved on to better things and better people - at least your friends were level-headed in the diner. If he were to ever bother you again, I'm sure he could be dealt with in a less civil manner - obviously, a diner isnt the best place to confront some dirtbag. As was already mentioned, this guy is a loser. ANY guy who slaps a woman is a real piece of work. |
Good for you. You learned and got that out of the situation. I know far to many women who never learn and keep repeating the same mistakes over and over and ending up in abusive relationships again and again. And your reaction to him is healthy... scum should make you sick. |
The sad thing is that I kept hanging out with him in groups and I still considered him a friend....until Afplayboy woke me up to the way he was acting with me. And yes zeekh...he isn't much of a man...I just hope the next woman that comes along learns to get away from him before he does anything to her. |
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I wonder if you're not suffering from some type of battered [excuse the expression] wife syndrom or something if the sight of him affects you so violently btw - {{{HUGS}}} I have the same feeling towards a few people too so please do not think I am insinuating that you've done anything wrong, only that there might be a way to over come this. Patty |
It sure would be nice to know who to get away from how he affects me....So far, the only way I've done that is to avoid any place that he MAY be....anywhere around his house, the diners, the community center.... And that's cut off a lot of contact with my other friends....because either they've already made plans to go to those places or I am the reason we don't go anywhere. |
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Ladies Ladies, simply kick guys in the nads. It is rather simple and will make the biggest man fall. You just have to kick hard and solid dont wussy out while throwing your leg just keep the leg moving right up the legs and bam. Than when hes down kick him in the nad again than a few nice shots to the kidneys. And walk away. |
ABSOLUTELY!! Basically the same thing as you. Old friend who beat the shit out of me. Several years later I am picking my girls up at their sitters and who is in the house picking up his kid!! I never want to feel that feeling again in my life. I've seen him many times in the years since then and I don't get that feeling anymore because I can see him for the worthless piece of shit that he really is. |
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It's so hard to just ignore those people, because our reactions may sometimes make us feel like the douche bag has won the game. Well, karma is a fact; he will get his in the end. You're trying to move beyond that idiot and you don't associate with him anymore--and you're the better person for it. Just keep staying away from him. He has no clue what an a**hole he is, but if push comes to shove, you can show him one day. I put my money on you, frtloop. |
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Guess I have a weird outlook on things then. If it was me I would just ignore him when you run into him out and about and if he presses the issue then tell him ONCE to stay away from ya. If he dont stay away from you (like at the other end of the room) then all bets are off and I can kick his butt (bonus!!). |
I do ignore him...but that doesn't change the way he makes me feel. Everything that he has done to me comes rushing back and that's what makes me sick. Luckily he doesn't know my phone number or my address since I moved out of my parents house. But knowing him, he will try his best to find out. And I swear....if he does find out and comes by, I will have no problem "protecting" myself if he tries to get in... |
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Physical abuse of a woman is something that I have absolutely zero tolerance for. It can not be excused. I know guys who've been in actual FIGHTS with women, but in each case, the woman was the aggressor and was game to fight. Maybe even enjoyed it. But that's not at all the same thing as a man abusing a woman. That can't be tolerated. I am always unfailingly gentle with my GF or any woman. I don't have a mean bone in my body, and even on those rare occasions when I get angry, it's nothing more than a passing mood. I've never felt any urge to strike a woman or cause her pain in any way. You'd have to be sick to want to. CJ |
Exactly the same here. I have an ex who is an ex because she was into trying to beat up on me when she had her mood swings. Anytime I disagreed with her on something, she'd get that way. I don't like people who push other people around like that. |
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I also have an ex-GF who is an EX in no small part due to the fact that she tried to assault me...ONCE. I left a note on her car's window under the wiper: "This blood from my lip is payment in full. Go to hell." I left a spot of blood on the note from my lip. It came from when she pushed me with her hand over my mouth, trying to knock me down. My tooth cut my lip on the inside when that happened, and that was quite enough for me. I hadn't done anything to deserve that, she was just flat out unhinged. It was the first time a woman ever attempted to assault me, and the first time is the last time for any woman to do that. I'm gone immediately thereafter. It will always be like that. CJ |
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My friend, It is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. That is what panic is, trauma is, post tramatic stress disorder is, etc.,... You reacted because your body tells you to stay away from a bad situation, by making you sick and forcing you to leave. Your brain refuses to admit/give into it,....The basic fact is ... you don't want to be there.[ I know I am stubborn too!  ]Happened after I got assaulted by a guy 6 years ago. Every time I saw him around for four years, I would be physically ill. It will pass in time. In the meantime, treat yourself with kindness, listen to your body and do what you need to do. No shame in leaving the area. No shame in forgiving one's self for it either should you feel rotten for it. It doesn't have to do with guts to stay. It has to do with a deep inbred knowledge of knowing it can happen again, because the person is capable of nothing else. It has to do with the old self preservatin of fight, flight or fright. Adrenalin levels raised up too high in the body, and you have illness. Do something about it,...either fight, or leave, r face your fear by confronting him WITH back up. and you will feel better. Be gentle with yourself. 
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