Posted: 7/17/2005 8:01:53 PM EDT
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My girlfriend of a year and half and I have been having some serious discussions about breaking up. Our relationship has a quite a few compromises; politics, hunting, etc... and it's come to the point where there's one too many comprises for the idea of marriage. We both had it in our minds that we wanted kids (me more than her), and recently, she's dropped the idea of having kids altogether. Now for me, it's a deal breaker. Having a family is pretty important on my list of 'things to do'. Now for the advice part, we both want to go on for another semester when she graduates, but is it the best idea?--to drag it out even though there's no chance of a future. We have a great relationship, are best friends and love eachother dearly. Thanks adam |
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So, you want to continue dating a girl that you have very little in common with. And you say you loive her. Do I have that right? Tell me, if you made two lists, 1 of the things you like about her and 1 with the things you two disagree on. WHich list would be longer? Sgat1r5 |
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If you're getting along I don't see the problem with staying together as long as it's mutually beneficial. You're in the "drift apart" stage and I'm in that phase with my ex GF. We're still great friends but we're on different paths and when I move from California, that will pretty well wrap things up for us. Keep your options open (both of you) and proceed. It sounds like you're dealing with the realities of the situation very well (no denial, no game playing). Just my 0.02. |
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I'd move on with that many differences. Politics, religion, being a mother were all deal breakers for me and in retrospect I am really, REALLY glad I chose someone with the same values as me. They are a big deal. And I have one of the best marriages of anyone I know. HOWEVER, you both want to stick it out for another semester??? That doesn't really sound like two people who want to break up.  
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Maybe it's fear of lonliness rather than a true concern for the other. No offense meant, but lonliness is a powerful motivator. Some school relationships continue, grow, and blossom into "real world" relationships - most don;t. Once again, no offense meant, but the pressures of getting to class on time and maintaining a certain GPA aren't shit compared to needing a few more bucks to make rent, or getting a red notice from the power company AND trying to be a good partner. Either sit down in a neutral environment and hash things out, or break up. To be perfectly honest, you can remain "friends with benefits" for the balance of the school session, but if you're already identifying multiple areas of conflict, I'd be concerned with the long term viability or your twosome. |
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There used to be good phase for this situation. It involved certain acts and uploading files. However that phase has been banned. You could do that then breakup. But on a serious note this is a painful situation. She's a great girl but not great for you. I don't see the point in staying together. All your doing is missing the chance to find the one who great for you. |
| One of the hardest things I had to do was break up with a girlfriend of three years, someone who wasn't going to grow up/grow out after graduation. The fear of being alone kept me together with her but it eventuall got so bad and the relationship became so poisoned that it was better off to be alone than to be with her. It really saddened me to see what was once a wonderful relationship degenerate into something very ugly. If you know she isn't right for you now, step back and seperate on good terms like I should have done. |
You are a cruel bitch sometimes David, but I am guessing you are right. Sgat1r5 |