JOTD > General Discussion

Posted: 6/30/2005 8:24:45 AM EDT

I found this funny!

A guy goes to the U.S. Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Have you been in the
service?"

"Yes," he says. "I was in Viet Nam for three years"

The interviewer says, "That will give you extra points
toward employment" and then asks, "Are you disabled in
any way?"

The guy says, "Yes 100%...a mortar round exploded near
me and blew my testicles off."

The interviewer tells the guy, "O.K. I can hire you
right now. The hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M.
You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00 A.M."

The guy is puzzled and says, "If the hours are from
8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. then why do you want me to come
in at 10:00 A.M."

"This is a government job" the interviewer says. "For
the first two hours we sit around scratching our
balls.......no point in you coming in for that."

Posted: 6/30/2005 8:25:52 AM EDT

[#1]

I like it!

Posted: 6/30/2005 8:27:48 AM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
I found this funny!

A guy goes to the U.S. Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Have you been in the
service?"

"Yes," he says. "I was in Viet Nam for three years"

The interviewer says, "That will give you extra points
toward employment" and then asks, "Are you disabled in
any way?"

The guy says, "Yes 100%...a mortar round exploded near
me and blew my testicles off."

The interviewer tells the guy, "O.K. I can hire you
right now. The hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M.
You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00 A.M."

The guy is puzzled and says, "If the hours are from
8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. then why do you want me to come
in at 10:00 A.M."

"This is a government job" the interviewer says. "For
the first two hours we sit around scratching our
balls.......no point in you coming in for that."

Tag...

Posted: 6/30/2005 8:51:10 AM EDT

[#3]

An aging Hollywood actress has had a lot of plastic surgery. Had her face lifted, her tummy tucked, butt and breast implants, etc. She goes to her doctor with an embarassing problem.
"I've spent a lot of time on the casting couch," she tells him. "I've been with more men than I can count and now, well, everything is sort of hanging loose down there. I can't even do a nude scene!"
"No problem," the doctor says. "We have a procedure where we trim off the excess flesh and shape it back up. You'll look 20 years younger."
"Well, okay," she says, "but NO ONE can find out. I'd be ruined."
The doctor assures her no one will know and she has the operation. She wakes up and sees 3 huge bouquets of roses in her room. She is pissed and calls the doctor.
"You said no one would know and know look at all these flowers!"
"No one knows," the doctor replies. "One bouquet is from the hospital. They give one to all patients who have elective surgery, and one is from me for trusting me with your career."
"So who is the 3rd one from," she asks.
"Oh, those are from a guy in the burn unit thanking you for the new ears!"

Posted: 6/30/2005 8:56:05 AM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:
An aging Hollywood actress has had a lot of plastic surgery. Had her face lifted, her tummy tucked, butt and breast implants, etc. She goes to her doctor with an embarassing problem.
"I've spent a lot of time on the casting couch," she tells him. "I've been with more men than I can count and now, well, everything is sort of hanging loose down there. I can't even do a nude scene!"
"No problem," the doctor says. "We have a procedure where we trim off the excess flesh and shape it back up. You'll look 20 years younger."
"Well, okay," she says, "but NO ONE can find out. I'd be ruined."
The doctor assures her no one will know and she has the operation. She wakes up and sees 3 huge bouquets of roses in her room. She is pissed and calls the doctor.
"You said no one would know and know look at all these flowers!"
"No one knows," the doctor replies. "One bouquet is from the hospital. They give one to all patients who have elective surgery, and one is from me for trusting me with your career."
"So who is the 3rd one from," she asks.
"Oh, those are from a guy in the burn unit thanking you for the new ears!"

Posted: 6/30/2005 9:00:32 AM EDT

[#5]

Good one!

Posted: 6/30/2005 12:36:31 PM EDT

[#6]

Posted: 6/30/2005 12:45:14 PM EDT

[#7]

LOL! Excellent.

Posted: 6/30/2005 1:00:10 PM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:
An aging Hollywood actress has had a lot of plastic surgery. Had her face lifted, her tummy tucked, butt and breast implants, etc. She goes to her doctor with an embarassing problem.
"I've spent a lot of time on the casting couch," she tells him. "I've been with more men than I can count and now, well, everything is sort of hanging loose down there. I can't even do a nude scene!"
"No problem," the doctor says. "We have a procedure where we trim off the excess flesh and shape it back up. You'll look 20 years younger."
"Well, okay," she says, "but NO ONE can find out. I'd be ruined."
The doctor assures her no one will know and she has the operation. She wakes up and sees 3 huge bouquets of roses in her room. She is pissed and calls the doctor.
"You said no one would know and know look at all these flowers!"
"No one knows," the doctor replies. "One bouquet is from the hospital. They give one to all patients who have elective surgery, and one is from me for trusting me with your career."
"So who is the 3rd one from," she asks.
"Oh, those are from a guy in the burn unit thanking you for the new ears!"

Uhhh...why do I get the feeling that I really don't want to find out what the implication is?

Posted: 6/30/2005 1:05:04 PM EDT

[#9]

Thank you both for the laugh!

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