Posted: 6/12/2005 4:21:01 PM EDT
After a wonderful morning fishing, I returned home and as soon as I hit the door my new wife hits me with lets go to the grocery store. So smelling like fish, I went to the store with my wife. As we were rounding the cookie asile I let loose five very violent and ferocious farts. I could have been heard three asiles over. As my wife held her head in shame and hurried away down the asile a younger snoody type young lady came around the corner when I let out my fifth fart. As i kept my back to this young woman I was trying to find some Keebler vanilla wafers when I noticed this pungent smell and I then knew if I could smell my own fart then it had to be very potent. Still acting like I havent noticed this young woman I grabbed my box of Keeblers and hurried to catch up with my wife. As I neared the end of the asile I turned to notice the woman was holding her nose and waving her hand franticly in front of her nose tryign to make her way down the cookie asile. As I was making my way up the next asile, the soda asile I heard a young mans voice say damn smells like someone had shit his pants. Knowing that I had did a fine job of growing older and the magic of pork and beans on a fishing trip, I stuck my chest out and held my head up in pride as I finished my shopping adventure.
|
 I was in Wally world early one morning, thats when I go there, get in and out, beofre the land whales get beached. Well the store was empty save for a some shelf stoker guys, Well I had gas bad that morning, and I found a empty isle and let it rip, man that was a mistake, it was LOUD in the near empty store, well I took off a running down a differant isle and I can hear a couple guys yell out DAMN, what was that...... Ya, the stupid stuff we all do......
|
|
Scott McNiel is a fairly popular voice actor. I got to sit in on a Q&A session with him and even got to ask one of the questions. He was recounting a story about when he went shopping with his wife on the day after Thanksgiving. He couldn't move in any direction down the aisle it was so jammed and he was trying to grab a couple cans of soup and rejoin his wife on the next aisle. Finally he shouts in a demonic voice (which he demonstrated for us) "GET OUT OF MY WAY!" and it was like Moses parting the Red Sea. He grabbed his soup and walked down the aisle to where his wife, completely embaressed, was waiting. "And that," he added, "is how I got out of ever going shopping with my wife again." |
Now !
|
Ok... Here were two incidents that happened to me. When I was in Jr. High School, in an English Class, I let out a HUGE Fart, I immediately turned around and screamed ass*ole! at the guy sitting behind me, everyone thought that the guy sitting behind me was the guy who let it rip. The second time, was when I was taking a Color Photography Class in High School. In the Dark Room (unlike for Black and White Film) you cannot have ANY light. There were a couple of girls in there, I had very quitely walked in through the double set of doors when all of a sudden I had to let one go, so I clenched myself real good and let it out real quiet, then I silently crept out of the dark room..which is when I started to hear some screams behind me... |
|
Our old Fire Chief was good for stuff like that. "TANGO... come into my office" "Yeah Chief, whaddya need? <breathe in> You sick bastard" "heh heh heh" Another of his faves was to drop a SBD in the kitchen then wander out before it detonated. We learned if he smiled the smile and walked out, we better didi mau |
You sound like an immature 3rd grader. |
Dad....is that you? |
O.K. if you say so
|