Look guys, I wrote the original One high, one low to tell you not to do those annoying people habits. I also wrote it to masturbate with. Listen, things are not getting better, so here's another episode of: One High, One low
My day starts out as usual. I get to work and all my co-workers are bubbly and full of energy. I just rode 3.5 miles as fast as I could because I was late out the door. As I'm clocking in I have this daydream about watching all these chipper morning people shot execution style eveytime they say "Good Morning" or "You look tired today!" Well, no shit, unlike you I'm trying to further my education to get out of this awful godforsaken pit of despair only properly described and only seen while standing behind 100 maggot infested brie cheese wheels singing the national anthem with a canadian accent. Excuse me, I'm getting off topic. Now for my first customer:
"Will that be paper or plastic?" me - Notice i'm polite.
"plastic" notice how everything is seemingly ok, so far.
At this point I'm about halfway through the order hopeing somehow you are an armed robber and will shoot me in the head to end my misery. Alas, you turn out to be normal...
"There you go, all packed and ready to go, would you like assistance to your vehicle?" Me, kissing ass as if your ass was the most holy and revered ass in the city. An Ass like the one I'm kissing, which happens to be yours, should only belong to someone in the "Big Book of British Asses: An all reveling look at the correlation between kissing and ass" Although, I have to admit that I just wrote that entire book in my head based on how well I kissed your ass just now.
"No, thank you" you say so sweetly, " I'll wait till I'm a bit older before I take you up." Now you take your exit.
See, I've calmed down some since my last time of writing. Although I wish that every chicken that comes through my line has the propensity to possibly choke you to death. Here comes my pal, Mike, or michelle as we called him in school (we were chums). Mike comes up and always brightens my day. Everytime he finishes filling a bag he screams "get some" just like in FMJ, his favorite movie.
(I'm one checkstand up from him)
me"Will that be pa- 'GET SOME' -per or plastic?"
customer: "Paper" 'GET SOME'
"Dammit, Mike, knock it off"
Mike in his british accent "Run away, Run away"
The only way to get him to knock off screaming "Get Some" is to distract him into laughing at some corny joke or clever phrase that will keep his otherwise unused mind amused.
Like, which I used today; "Mike, did you know that three out of four people make up 75% of the population?" Now Mike will just start giggling and his entire 200 lbs pound body will quiver like some advanced form of parkinsons has invaded his nervous system. That'll shut him up. Look, I'd tell you more but I want to go drink, alot.
[):)]
NSF