Posted: 12/6/2004 7:08:01 AM EDT
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ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG LIMITS The following rules are enacted in the interest of fair chase and public safety. 1. Any person with a valid state hunting license may harvest attorneys. 2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited. 3. Intentional killing of attorneys with vehicles is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove the dead attorney to the roadside and proceed to the nearest carwash. 4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, aircraft, or other motorized vehicle. 5. It is unlawful to shout “whiplash”, ambulance”, or “free Perrier” for the purpose of trapping attorneys. 6. It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships. 7. It is unlawful to use cocaine, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys. 8. It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, brothels, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals. 9. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it. 10. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin. 11. It is illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys. |
