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Site News The People of Virginia VS Grabigial BanBerger | ARFCOM News
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10/21/2004 3:25:12 AM EDT
I just see it as a horrible last moment to spend on this earth, having your body burned to shit.

I myself want to be buried in 6ft of rose pedals
10/21/2004 3:30:02 AM EDT
[#1]
Please don't bury me
down in that cold, cold ground.
I'd rather have 'em cut me up
and pass me all around.
Throw my brain in a hurricane,
the blind can have my eyes,
the deaf can keep both of my ears
if they don't mind the size.

Give my stomach to Milwaukee,
should they run outta beer.
Put my socks in a cedar box,
just get 'em outta here.
Venus de Milo can have my arms,
LOOK OUT, I got yer nose!
Sell my heart to the junk man
and give my love to Rose.

--John Prine
10/21/2004 3:31:33 AM EDT
[#2]
Do whatever is cheapest, just dont donate me to be cut up.


Im for being cremated.
10/21/2004 3:31:48 AM EDT
[#3]
Quoted:
Please don't bury me
down in that cold, cold ground.
I'd rather have 'em cut me up
and pass me all around.
Throw my brain in a hurricane,
the blind can have my eyes,
the deaf can keep both of my ears
if they don't mind the size.

Give my stomach to Milwaukee,
should they run outta beer.
Put my socks in a cedar box,
just get 'em outta here.
Venus de Milo can have my arms,
LOOK OUT, I got yer nose!
Sell my heart to the junk man
and give my love to Rose.

--John Prine

Yes ground would be cold, but rose pedals and a nice coffin, comfy. Sounds good just thinking about it.
10/21/2004 3:33:18 AM EDT
[#4]
Quoted:
Do whatever is cheapest, just dont donate me to be cut up.


Im for being cremated.

What if you can still feel when dead? What if your soul has yet to leave your body, what if that shit hurts like a mother fucker and you can't do anything about it.

Put your hand under some hot water, think about 100x more extreme.
10/21/2004 3:35:36 AM EDT
[#5]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Do whatever is cheapest, just dont donate me to be cut up.


Im for being cremated.

What if you can still feel when dead? What if your soul has yet to leave your body, what if that shit hurts like a mother fucker and you can't do anything about it.

Put your hand under some hot water, think about 100x more extreme.


If Im still alvie I hope to rise soon after my death to feast on the flesh of the living,

Otherwise Im pretty much convinced when Im dead Im gone.

Hopefully I wont die of age and having my body fail
10/21/2004 3:48:20 AM EDT
[#6]
Quoted:
I just see it as a horrible last moment to spend on this earth, having your body burned to shit.

I myself want to be buried in 6ft of rose pedals


I figure an hour or two of intense heat beats several hundred years of stewing in your own fetid juices inside a sealed box. You ever smelled a grave that's been opened? I have

10/21/2004 3:51:40 AM EDT
[#7]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Do whatever is cheapest, just dont donate me to be cut up.


Im for being cremated.

What if you can still feel when dead? What if your soul has yet to leave your body, what if that shit hurts like a mother fucker and you can't do anything about it.

Put your hand under some hot water, think about 100x more extreme.



Ever see an embalming?  I don't think it would be painless.

Any clothing on the corpse is removed and set aside; jewelry, also, is inventoried. The corpse is then washed in disinfecting and germicidal solutions, shaved, and groomed. The embalmer bends, flexes and massages the arms and legs to relieve rigor mortis. The eyes are closed and kept closed with an eyecap that keeps them shut and in the proper expression. The mouth may be sewn shut, and a device is also employed to allow the embalmer to set the facial expression of the corpse.

External body cavities are packed with cotton soaked in cavity fluid or autopsy gel. A large plastic screw may also be threaded in place in the anus and vagina to ensure a proper seal. The corpse is dressed in tight-fitting plastic clothing to control leakage of any bodily fluids.

The actual embalming process usually involves four parts:

   * arterial embalming, which involves the injection of embalming chemicals into the blood vessels, usually via the right carotid artery. Blood is drained from the right jugular vein. The embalming solution is injected using an embalming machine;
   * cavity embalming, the suction of the internal fluids of the corpse and the injection of embalming chemicals into body cavities, using an aspirator and trocar;
   * hypodermic embalming, the injection under the skin of embalming chemicals under the skin as needed; and
   * surface embalming, which supplements the other methods, especially for visible, injured body parts.

Embalming chemicals vary in their composition, but most are based on formaldehyde and methanol (wood alcohol).

Cosmetics are then applied to the corpse to make it appear more living and create a "memory picture" for the decedent's friends and relatives. An oily foundation is placed on the visible areas of the skin, and theatrical or mortuary cosmetics are placed on the corpse. A photograph of the dead person in good health is often sought, in order to guide the embalmer's hand in restoring the corpse to a more lifelike appearance. Blemishes and discolorations occasioned by the last illness, the settling of blood, or the embalming process itself are also dealt with at this time. Various funeral homes have different practices as to whether the corpse will be clothed during the time of application of the cosmetics, or whether the cosmetics will be applied first and the corpse clothed afterwards.

After the corpse has been dressed, it is placed in the coffin for the various funeral rites.
10/21/2004 3:53:00 AM EDT
[#8]
Not wrong at all.  Been done for 1000's of years.


But I am still being buried whole, along with my wedding ring and AR


SGtar15
10/21/2004 3:56:26 AM EDT
[#9]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Do whatever is cheapest, just dont donate me to be cut up.


Im for being cremated.

What if you can still feel when dead? What if your soul has yet to leave your body, what if that shit hurts like a mother fucker and you can't do anything about it.

Put your hand under some hot water, think about 100x more extreme.



Ever see an embalming?  I don't think it would be painless.

Any clothing on the corpse is removed and set aside; jewelry, also, is inventoried. The corpse is then washed in disinfecting and germicidal solutions, shaved, and groomed. The embalmer bends, flexes and massages the arms and legs to relieve rigor mortis. The eyes are closed and kept closed with an eyecap that keeps them shut and in the proper expression. The mouth may be sewn shut, and a device is also employed to allow the embalmer to set the facial expression of the corpse.

External body cavities are packed with cotton soaked in cavity fluid or autopsy gel. A large plastic screw may also be threaded in place in the anus and vagina to ensure a proper seal. The corpse is dressed in tight-fitting plastic clothing to control leakage of any bodily fluids.

The actual embalming process usually involves four parts:

   * arterial embalming, which involves the injection of embalming chemicals into the blood vessels, usually via the right carotid artery. Blood is drained from the right jugular vein. The embalming solution is injected using an embalming machine;
   * cavity embalming, the suction of the internal fluids of the corpse and the injection of embalming chemicals into body cavities, using an aspirator and trocar;
   * hypodermic embalming, the injection under the skin of embalming chemicals under the skin as needed; and
   * surface embalming, which supplements the other methods, especially for visible, injured body parts.

Embalming chemicals vary in their composition, but most are based on formaldehyde and methanol (wood alcohol).

Cosmetics are then applied to the corpse to make it appear more living and create a "memory picture" for the decedent's friends and relatives. An oily foundation is placed on the visible areas of the skin, and theatrical or mortuary cosmetics are placed on the corpse. A photograph of the dead person in good health is often sought, in order to guide the embalmer's hand in restoring the corpse to a more lifelike appearance. Blemishes and discolorations occasioned by the last illness, the settling of blood, or the embalming process itself are also dealt with at this time. Various funeral homes have different practices as to whether the corpse will be clothed during the time of application of the cosmetics, or whether the cosmetics will be applied first and the corpse clothed afterwards.

After the corpse has been dressed, it is placed in the coffin for the various funeral rites.


Cut me up before you burn me. At least I will still be whole.
10/21/2004 3:57:54 AM EDT
[#10]
Quoted:
Quoted:
I just see it as a horrible last moment to spend on this earth, having your body burned to shit.

I myself want to be buried in 6ft of rose pedals


I figure an hour or two of intense heat beats several hundred years of stewing in your own fetid juices inside a sealed box. You ever smelled a grave that's been opened? I have


Yeah but it is slow, I would adjust if i COULD feel it. And yeah death stinks, than again I could be a mummy. I just think it is a waste to burn something after you spent some much time in it.
10/21/2004 4:00:33 AM EDT
[#11]
Stick me in a box and put me in the ground, but there damed well better be a lone bagpiper playing "Amazing Grace" as I'm lowered, and when the first shovel full is thrown on top of me, he needs to break into "Scotland the Brave".
<---------------------------------------Proud to be a Scot.
10/21/2004 4:02:39 AM EDT
[#12]
When I am done with this body, I want to return it to EARTH as ASH.
10/21/2004 4:08:11 AM EDT
[#13]
I have expressed to my family that I want to be cremated and have my ashes spread either in the woods or on a golf course.
10/21/2004 4:20:11 AM EDT
[#14]
I'm going for medium rare. Keep me pink in the middle.
10/21/2004 4:23:49 AM EDT
[#15]
Quoted:
I have expressed to my family that I want to be cremated and have my ashes spread either in the woods or on a golf course.



If they are a bad golfer you can get both.


SGatr15
10/21/2004 4:27:37 AM EDT
[#16]
Burn the shit outta me for all I care.  Once I'm dead, the body is just remains, the soul is gone.  My wife feels the same way.
10/21/2004 4:30:59 AM EDT
[#17]
I am an organ donor so my body will be cut up and organs distributed if im not too old/sick/whatever.

The least I could do is help someone else out when I die.  Nothing like being remembered for saving another person's life even when dead.
10/21/2004 4:31:09 AM EDT
[#18]
Quoted:
I have expressed to my family that I want to be cremated and have my ashes spread either in the woods or on a golf course.


Great, your ashes can be spread by the shoes of pretentious wankers...

Mini golf courses, on the other hand, are ideal.   You can look down from heaven at the funny children who don't realize that they are stepping on dead you.

- BG



(OK, all golfers aren't pretentious wankers, but a good number are)
10/21/2004 4:34:20 AM EDT
[#19]
USe what you can, burn whatever's left over.

Reminds me of the story i read online. Hunter dies, and the widow has his cremains placed in shotgun shells. Then family memebers and close friends went on a final hunting trip with him. I coudl have sworn i read this on CNN.  Perfectly feasible. They even had the bagged game list from his final hunt.
10/21/2004 4:37:43 AM EDT
[#20]
Organ donor.

If that don't work a body farm.
10/21/2004 4:46:06 AM EDT
[#21]
Knowing someone that worked in a crematory, I pass.
Between the cockroaches and sickos posing the bodies in compromising positions and generally making fun of someones anatomy...what a way to go.
Not very ceremonious or respectful, but a cheap way out.
Recyling used pacemakers is a morbid racket too, if the information is accurate.
True or not, not too many "visitors" come away with the facts anyway!
Bring some A-1 along, just in case.
10/21/2004 4:48:00 AM EDT
[#22]
I am an organ doner. Take what you need and burn the rest. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.
10/21/2004 4:49:31 AM EDT
[#23]
I'm not wasting some good earth just to have my carcass slowly decompose.

Burn me!

GM
10/21/2004 4:51:49 AM EDT
[#24]
My family has the instructions to donate my organs (whatever they can use and still works) and them to cremate me and spread my ashes over Isle Royal.  Well half of them anyway, wife needs the other half to be buried in Arlington.
10/21/2004 4:57:53 AM EDT
[#25]
I want a Viking funeral.
10/21/2004 4:58:22 AM EDT
[#26]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Do whatever is cheapest, just dont donate me to be cut up.


Im for being cremated.

What if you can still feel when dead? What if your soul has yet to leave your body, what if that shit hurts like a mother fucker and you can't do anything about it.

Put your hand under some hot water, think about 100x more extreme.


Have you ever seen the embalming process?  if you still feel pain it's gonna hurt either way.
10/21/2004 4:58:57 AM EDT
[#27]
Quoted:
Quoted:
I have expressed to my family that I want to be cremated and have my ashes spread either in the woods or on a golf course.



If they are a bad golfer you can get both.


SGatr15
10/21/2004 5:01:50 AM EDT
[#28]
Burn me.
Dead people should not own land.
10/21/2004 5:07:33 AM EDT
[#29]
Quoted:
I want a Viking funeral.


www.listonart.com/Art_Of_The_Month/2002/Images/A_Viking_Funeral.jpg


me too.
10/21/2004 5:09:14 AM EDT
[#30]
Quoted:
Quoted:
I want a Viking funeral.


www.listonart.com/Art_Of_The_Month/2002/Images/A_Viking_Funeral.jpg


me too.



My dad wants one of those...in our 14 foot tinny with his fishing gear and ping pong paddle...

tinny=aluminium runabout=small boat with motor
10/21/2004 6:04:10 AM EDT
[#31]
Who was it that said, "I came into this world screaming and covered in someone else's blood, and I want to go out the same way"?

Organ donor, toss the rest.  I get a new one which won't be overweight or nearsighted (don't know about the gray hair) after that.
10/21/2004 6:06:43 AM EDT
[#32]
I buried my Mom and cremated my Dad, he is on my fireplace mantel where we have words from time to time, I and my wife are going to the ovens at the end...
10/21/2004 6:15:25 AM EDT
[#33]
When I am dead, my body is nothing but garbage...if I had my druthers, I'd have them toss it into a swamp and let the gators eat it.  
10/21/2004 6:46:05 AM EDT
[#34]
The entire time I've been on this site I've been gathering intelligence from you guys on how to defeat zombies. So when I come back from the dead I will be able to defeat your feeble attempts to stop me!
10/21/2004 6:49:50 AM EDT
[#35]
I want my body cut up in 2x2 inch squares and put on a trotline.  
10/21/2004 6:50:08 AM EDT
[#36]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Do whatever is cheapest, just dont donate me to be cut up.


Im for being cremated.

What if you can still feel when dead? What if your soul has yet to leave your body, what if that shit hurts like a mother fucker and you can't do anything about it. hand


And I guess being trapped in a box 6' under being munched on by worms and shit is better?
10/21/2004 7:18:49 AM EDT
[#37]
Cremate me, pour my ashes around a seedling Black Walnut tree.  When it matures part of my remaining ashes will have fertilized the tree thus turning my remains into wood.  Then cut it down and make rifle stocks from it.  

That's my best bid for some sort of cool immortality.  Imagine holding an M1 stocked with wood fertilized by my ashes...
10/21/2004 7:19:01 AM EDT
[#38]
I make hardwood Caskets, so yes it is wronghink
Justin
10/21/2004 7:19:06 AM EDT
[#39]
i want a WITNESSED creamation.  burn me, but have a family member make sure it's me that's getting burned with my dignity still in tact.  i know it's just a shell, and they're more than welcome to whatever they can use, but after that burn me.

then bake my ashes into a cake and serve it to whoever i was grudging against at the time.
10/21/2004 9:06:29 AM EDT
[#40]
My mom died this past January and she got creamated.  It shouldn't have bothered me because it is her body, but I was really bothered by the fact that she got creamated.  My aunt put my moms ashes in a bowel on the kitchen table on the day we had a "memorial service" for her.  Creamation bothers me for some reason so I know that I don't wanted to be creamated.  I am just wierd I guess....
10/21/2004 9:09:43 AM EDT
[#41]
Quoted:
External body cavities are packed with cotton soaked in cavity fluid or autopsy gel. A large plastic screw may also be threaded in place in the anus and vagina to ensure a proper seal. The corpse is dressed in tight-fitting plastic clothing to control leakage of any bodily fluids.


Dude !!!  


That's not right.  
10/21/2004 9:14:50 AM EDT
[#42]
Coyote Bait????

Prop me up against a tree during my last hours so I can watch the sunset from the tree line of a hilltop.

MT
10/21/2004 11:29:58 AM EDT
[#43]
Quoted:
I just see it as a horrible last moment to spend on this earth, having your body burned to shit.


You'll be dead and past caring about all that. Oxidation is oxidation regardless of the method. As burial plots become more expensive, cremation is going to become more predominant. I'd rather have the money spent to educate a grandchild than piss it away on a plot and a stone that will be irrelevant in a half century when anyone who knew me is also dead.
FWIW
YMMV
DFB
10/21/2004 11:32:30 AM EDT
[#44]
Quoted:
I want a Viking funeral.


www.listonart.com/Art_Of_The_Month/2002/Images/A_Viking_Funeral.jpg

Yup, me too!!  
10/21/2004 11:36:55 AM EDT
[#45]
"We can burn her, bury her, or dump her."
"Dump her?"
"Dump her in the Thames."
"Ugh."
"Oh, did you like her?"
"Yes."
"Oh, then we won't dump her.  So should we burn her or bury her?"
"Which do you recommend?"
"Well, they're both nasty.  If we burn her, she's flung into the flames, crackle crackle crackle, which is a bit of a shock if she's not quite dead - but quick.  And afterwards, we give you some ashes which you can pretend were hers.  If we bury her, she gets eaten up by maggots and weevils, nibble nibble nibble, which as I said before, is a bit of a shock if she's not quite dead."
10/21/2004 11:51:50 AM EDT
[#46]
Quoted:


Put your hand under some hot water, think about 100x more extreme.


go have an MRI done of your head...now multiply that claustrophobic feeling times 1,000,000, and add to it the sensation of slowly being eaten by worms.  Doesn't THAT sound nice
10/21/2004 11:53:00 AM EDT
[#47]
Quoted:
Stick me in a box and put me in the ground, but there damed well better be a lone bagpiper playing "Amazing Grace" as I'm lowered, and when the first shovel full is thrown on top of me, he needs to break into "Scotland the Brave".
<---------------------------------------Proud to be a Scot.


Alba Saor!!
10/21/2004 11:58:46 AM EDT
[#48]
Quoted:
Quoted:
I want a Viking funeral.


www.listonart.com/Art_Of_The_Month/2002/Images/A_Viking_Funeral.jpg

Yup, me too!!  



Little known fact - Vikings did NOT wear helmets with horns on them.
10/21/2004 12:02:09 PM EDT
[#49]
I don't want to get dug up for a freeway or a housing development
10/21/2004 12:06:52 PM EDT
[#50]
Only if you are still alive.
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