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USA
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Posted: 5/14/2024 9:34:20 PM EDT
[#1]
We’re all just a few PSA daily deals away from being compulsive spenders
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Posted: 5/14/2024 9:43:12 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By MMcfpd: Kept secret and with an accompanying record of being busted with sex workers...pfft! Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By MMcfpd: Originally Posted By BillofRights: We shall let him clear it up, but my interpretation was that she considered it a Windfall that he had been squirreling away. That's why every man should store his gold in a plastic Ammo Can, buried in the back yard. He was a Pimp!?!?  Mah Man! 
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Posted: 5/14/2024 9:47:23 PM EDT
[Last Edit: BillofRights]
[#3]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By MyAliyah: Going into debt, involving his whole fam, not good. But, I do have a couple of rooms full of stuff I keep locked and she has no idea of the value To be completely honest, this thread had me thinking about this. Most of the guys here have far more than $14,000 worth of unaccounted for stuff. Is that supposed to be financial infidelity? |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 9:53:08 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By MMcfpd: Austin? Singapore |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 11:13:54 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By BillofRights: To be completely honest, this thread had me thinking about this. Most of the guys here have far more than $14,000 worth of unaccounted for stuff. Is that supposed to be financial infidelity? Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By BillofRights: Originally Posted By MyAliyah: Going into debt, involving his whole fam, not good. But, I do have a couple of rooms full of stuff I keep locked and she has no idea of the value To be completely honest, this thread had me thinking about this. Most of the guys here have far more than $14,000 worth of unaccounted for stuff. Is that supposed to be financial infidelity? Different. My friend has been spending money with the full awareness that he’s hiding it from his wife. $14k is the balance and who knows how much he’s spent while keeping a balance and paying on the credit card. |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 11:20:28 PM EDT
[#6]
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NM, USA
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Posted: 5/14/2024 11:20:51 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By BillofRights: To be completely honest, this thread had me thinking about this. Most of the guys here have far more than $14,000 worth of unaccounted for stuff. Is that supposed to be financial infidelity? Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By BillofRights: Originally Posted By MyAliyah: Going into debt, involving his whole fam, not good. But, I do have a couple of rooms full of stuff I keep locked and she has no idea of the value To be completely honest, this thread had me thinking about this. Most of the guys here have far more than $14,000 worth of unaccounted for stuff. Is that supposed to be financial infidelity? I mean, $14k of stuff you bought, or car debt, or similar is a bit different than that of credit card debt that's getting interest charged on it. |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 11:21:29 PM EDT
[#8]
This thread is one big reason why I never married and never will....I will also not commingle finances (i.e. shacking up).
A relative of mine, his ex wife had a gambling habit that he didn't know about. Other people I know of, the financial spending/waste isn't hidden - the spouse just seems to feel they have no control to stop the other spouse. I former friend of mine? Her husband seems to be trying to fill a void with shit. Two escalades, ATVs, Harleys, crotch rockets, big house that they can't even paint/pressure wash/maintain, his latest was a boat. One day he flat out told her that since she makes more than him, she's obligated to put more towards their "bills". IMO, she married her father. Both her husband are drunks who take money from her. |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 11:26:08 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By haveTwo: I mean, $14k of stuff you bought, or car debt, or similar is a bit different than that of credit card debt that's getting interest charged on it. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By haveTwo: Originally Posted By BillofRights: Originally Posted By MyAliyah: Going into debt, involving his whole fam, not good. But, I do have a couple of rooms full of stuff I keep locked and she has no idea of the value To be completely honest, this thread had me thinking about this. Most of the guys here have far more than $14,000 worth of unaccounted for stuff. Is that supposed to be financial infidelity? I mean, $14k of stuff you bought, or car debt, or similar is a bit different than that of credit card debt that's getting interest charged on it. Except money is fungible. If you have $14,000 worth of “unregistered” guns and ammo, and still have debt on a mortgage, or car, it’s precisely the same thing, (with a lower interest rate). |
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NM, USA
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Posted: 5/14/2024 11:41:59 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By BillofRights: Except money is fungible. If you have $14,000 worth of “unregistered” guns and ammo, and still have debt on a mortgage, or car, it’s precisely the same thing, (with a lower interest rate). Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By BillofRights: Originally Posted By haveTwo: Originally Posted By BillofRights: Originally Posted By MyAliyah: Going into debt, involving his whole fam, not good. But, I do have a couple of rooms full of stuff I keep locked and she has no idea of the value To be completely honest, this thread had me thinking about this. Most of the guys here have far more than $14,000 worth of unaccounted for stuff. Is that supposed to be financial infidelity? I mean, $14k of stuff you bought, or car debt, or similar is a bit different than that of credit card debt that's getting interest charged on it. Except money is fungible. If you have $14,000 worth of “unregistered” guns and ammo, and still have debt on a mortgage, or car, it’s precisely the same thing, (with a lower interest rate). I took that as $14k of shit bought over time, not $14k of shit that was actually hidden. My point being it's two different things. One is hiding what you buy, and another is paying interest and accumulating debt that you hide. Both bad, second one is worse. I don't pretend to know exactly what my wife spends on her at, and I bet she doesn't know exactly what I spend. We keep to a budget and pay things as planned though, and can both see the accounts, even if I'm a-okay with her ocd methods of paying the bills. Even though we could pay off our mortgage faster if we made sacrifices. |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 11:44:43 PM EDT
[#11]
[b]..., and he’s headed to counseling. I hope they both get counseling and work it out. ... Does that shit actually work? I feel like that shit is a "doing something" checkbox lie to mindfuck everybody else |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 11:46:16 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By bradpierson26: Also $14k is different if you make $33k vs $133k vs 333k… Perspective is key They've been together 20 years and have a $14k on a line of credit for random bullshit. If they were "on track" they'd be on the other side of zero to the tune of a couple hundred grand at least. That's fucking crazy to have that kind of debt in your 40s. A mortgage sure, a car payment maybe...financing TVs and game consoles though? |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 11:56:48 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By MyAliyah: Going into debt, involving his whole fam, not good. But, I do have a couple of rooms full of stuff I keep locked and she has no idea of the value First of all, keep your voice down...... 
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Posted: 5/14/2024 11:57:14 PM EDT
[#14]
I worked with a guy who's wife was getting all kind of gifts to the house from the Mississippi Gulf Coast casinos. He got suspicious and come to find out she was $120K in debt.
He was smart about it, did nothing to help her pay it off, divorced her and the debt went against her portion of the settlement. |
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USA
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Posted: 5/15/2024 12:10:52 AM EDT
[#15]
What kind of Samsung account gets a guy into significant debt?
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MI, USA
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Posted: 5/15/2024 12:14:27 AM EDT
[Last Edit: FaygoJoe]
[#16]
Originally Posted By Eroic: Oof. Someone very close to me just found out that her husband has two lines of credit that he’s been hiding from her. One is a credit card and the other is a Samsung account. $14,000 worth of debt she had no idea about. They’ve been married for 20 years and have great kids. They’re both really really nice people. I don’t get it. This happened about 15 years ago, but it happened again. [color=#ff0000]She’s been lied to for years and years about this. It’s stupid shit too like a big screen tv and game consoles for work. Multiple Bluetooth speakers for no reason. It sounds like compulsive behavior, and he’s headed to counseling. I hope they both get counseling and work it out. Like I said, they’re great people. Anyone ever deal with this? Originally Posted By bradpierson26: I’m sure that’s extremely common I’m the bread winner I pay the bills, she has no idea about half the shit Is he delinquent? That’s a stretch to call it infidelity If he makes the payments, can still qualify for a mortgage and car loans, she can fuck off as I see it… Is this keeping him from feeding their kids…? Counseling over $14k is a wild concept to me Best of luck to your friend This topic comes up frequently on the Dave Ramsey show; despite how people feel about him, his advice, or his show in general I've highlighted the areas of concern in my opinion. Whether it's $4K or $14...the husband has lied to his wife multiple times over 15 years, and this is the crux of the argument. bradpierson26 makes a valid point about the context of the dollar amount (i.e. $14K being either 42%, 11%, or 4% of one's income) but hiding things from your spouse is a problem no matter the amount, IMO. But he also seem okay with what he calls "hidden debt" to a spouse. He's entitled to that opinions but it's tinder for a bigger flame if you ask me. It's a trust and behavior issue as far as I'm concerned. There may be other nuances within the whole thing and I haven't read the entire thread yet, but even a small concealment (aka lie) will instill doubt and cause distrust in a marriage. Combining finances and discussing all purchases over a few hundred dollars or so has really strengthened my marriage and reduced opportunities for suspicion and distrust by about a million. |
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Posted: 5/15/2024 12:28:09 AM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By woodsie: They've been together 20 years and have a $14k on a line of credit for random bullshit. If they were "on track" they'd be on the other side of zero to the tune of a couple hundred grand at least. That's fucking crazy to have that kind of debt in your 40s. A mortgage sure, a car payment maybe...financing TVs and game consoles though? Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By woodsie: Originally Posted By bradpierson26: Also $14k is different if you make $33k vs $133k vs 333k… Perspective is key They've been together 20 years and have a $14k on a line of credit for random bullshit. If they were "on track" they'd be on the other side of zero to the tune of a couple hundred grand at least. That's fucking crazy to have that kind of debt in your 40s. A mortgage sure, a car payment maybe...financing TVs and game consoles though? Boom! That's the way I see it. I love to tell my story. Back in 2004 when I knew my girlfriend and I were going to get married, I told her I was going to have to pay off my debt before we did and that I would be poor for a while. I was an E-4 and I paid off my $4k debt. I asked her to marry me a few months later and two weeks after that we got hitched. Damn, 20 years fly by. We have always agreed on money and how to spend it. We are frugal and wise. We were 20somethings that both agreed on a path of self-sacrifice. Our children will graduate from college (if they want to go) with zero debt and I will take their 529s and start funds for the grandkids, fund our Roths for $35K each and maybe even the boys' to get them started on retirement investments. And it all started when my wife and I chose to be poor for a while. |
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CO, USA
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Posted: 5/15/2024 12:28:14 AM EDT
[#18]
My wife’s aunt filed for divorce from her husband a couple of years ago. During the divorce she discovered he had an entire warehouse full of exotic cars she didn’t know about across town. Ferraris, Lambos etc.
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Posted: 5/15/2024 2:24:47 AM EDT
[#19]
After my sister's husband died from cancer she discovered 10's of thousands of credit card debt. He was paying his medical bills on his credit card.
 Luckily there was some sort of widow's exclusion protecting her from that but they hound her constantly, trying to get the money out of her.
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Posted: 5/15/2024 3:42:25 AM EDT
[#20]
I actually came to this thread to ask you guys if I could borrow like $20, I get paid on Friday and will pay you back.
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Posted: 5/15/2024 4:38:00 AM EDT
[#21]
Dude needs to be delivering grubhub after work till he pays it off. If wife doesnt work she needs to
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NM, USA
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Posted: 5/15/2024 5:59:58 AM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Eroic: Different. My friend has been spending money with the full awareness that he’s hiding it from his wife. $14k is the balance and who knows how much he’s spent while keeping a balance and paying on the credit card. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Eroic: Originally Posted By BillofRights: Originally Posted By MyAliyah: Going into debt, involving his whole fam, not good. But, I do have a couple of rooms full of stuff I keep locked and she has no idea of the value To be completely honest, this thread had me thinking about this. Most of the guys here have far more than $14,000 worth of unaccounted for stuff. Is that supposed to be financial infidelity? Different. My friend has been spending money with the full awareness that he’s hiding it from his wife. $14k is the balance and who knows how much he’s spent while keeping a balance and paying on the credit card. Yeah, that's not a good look for him. |
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Posted: 5/15/2024 6:13:01 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By BillofRights: We shall let him clear it up, but my interpretation was that she considered it a Windfall that he had been squirreling away. That’s why every man should store his gold in a plastic Ammo Can, buried in the back yard. That's for decoy gold. |
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NY, USA
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Posted: 5/15/2024 6:23:28 AM EDT
[#24]
My brother married idiot. She had about $40,000 in debt, which she "surprised" him with once married... He spent several years paying it off.
After years of overtime he gets it paid off. Yeah! Made it! And then she ran up all the debt again.... After Paying it off a second time, he discovers more credit card bills. She's done it a third time: While he's been working his ass off, trying to get shit paid off, she's working behind his back to get more credit cards, and run up more debt. And there's nothing to show for it: No big car. No fancy house. All the money is spend on stupid shit like Starbucks and dinner at a restaurant. Thousands and thousands in debt, all accumulated "on the sly". Every time he gets them on their feet, she's been busy digging holes behind his back just as fast as he can fill other holes... Bye Bye, Stupid Bitch. Pack your bags. You're done.... Best move he ever made... Yeah, 'Financial Infidelity" is a thing. The number one cause of divorce is supposedly money. Its hard to think and act like a team when one player is off playing their own game. |
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WI, USA
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Posted: 5/15/2024 9:38:21 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By frozenny: My brother married idiot. She had about $40,000 in debt, which she "surprised" him with once married... He spent several years paying it off. After years of overtime he gets it paid off. Yeah! Made it! And then she ran up all the debt again.... After Paying it off a second time, he discovers more credit card bills. She's done it a third time: While he's been working his ass off, trying to get shit paid off, she's working behind his back to get more credit cards, and run up more debt. And there's nothing to show for it: No big car. No fancy house. All the money is spend on stupid shit like Starbucks and dinner at a restaurant. Thousands and thousands in debt, all accumulated "on the sly". Every time he gets them on their feet, she's been busy digging holes behind his back just as fast as he can fill other holes... Bye Bye, Stupid Bitch. Pack your bags. You're done.... Best move he ever made... Yeah, 'Financial Infidelity" is a thing. The number one cause of divorce is supposedly money. Its hard to think and act like a team when one player is off playing their own game. The "Big Three": Money Kids Sex |
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WA, USA
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Posted: 5/15/2024 9:48:03 AM EDT
[#26]
going into debt for toys is stupid.
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Posted: 5/15/2024 9:53:03 AM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Lorax: You've been here long enough to know. Remember the craze here of the remote control helicopters? Yeah......everyone in the entire family got one for Christmas that year. We had mid-air collisions and women running for cover.  Arfcom is no place to hang out if you're on a tight budget.   Truth
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Posted: 5/15/2024 10:35:54 AM EDT
[#28]
I run the finances in our home and I stay on top of stuff. Not with an iron fist, but if my wife hid $14k in debt, there would be serious discussions about what this marriage is for her. There is absolutely no reason to hide finances, unless you're doing something shady or you can't trust your partner. If the latter, then why did you get together?
Could be that I came from a childhood of parents arguing about finances all the time. People need to talk about this shit, otherwise it turns ugly and then to divorce very fast. |
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USA
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Posted: 5/15/2024 10:42:55 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By JaredC1: Ya. 14k isn’t that much debt for two middle aged people who both work. I’d be pissed she was lying but don’t consider this “infidelity” Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By JaredC1: Originally Posted By bradpierson26: Also $14k is different if you make $33k vs $133k vs 333k… Perspective is key Ya. 14k isn’t that much debt for two middle aged people who both work. I’d be pissed she was lying but don’t consider this “infidelity” Fidelis means faith or trust or belief or confidence. This situation shows a lack of all fidelis. It's not irredeemable. But it's not good either. |
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Posted: 5/15/2024 10:47:06 AM EDT
[#30]
$14,000 might be a relative issue. How much yearly income? How much net worth? If you can bare afford your car payment then it's probably an issue worth addressing
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Posted: 5/15/2024 10:50:05 AM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By bradpierson26: I’m sure that’s extremely common I’m the bread winner I pay the bills, she has no idea about half the shit Is he delinquent? That’s a stretch to call it infidelity If he makes the payments, can still qualify for a mortgage and car loans, she can fuck off as I see it… Is this keeping him from feeding their kids…? Counseling over $14k is a wild concept to me Best of luck to your friend Does your wife know about MVIS ? |
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USA
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Posted: 5/15/2024 10:56:27 AM EDT
[Last Edit: miseses]
[#32]
Am I the only one that doesn't give a shit what my wife does with her own money? If she charges 14k to cards in her name that is her prerogative, and she can deal with paying it off. Yeah if there is a divorce they judge will merge the finances and I'll become responsible for the debt. Good luck with that, I've never used credit for anything and I have no particular attachments to the USA.
Personally I would not want to be married to someone that is going to give me grief over personal spending of $14k (like 3 or 4 nice guns?) with or without their counsel. |
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Posted: 5/15/2024 11:03:52 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By nightstalker: $14,000 might be a relative issue. How much yearly income? How much net worth? If you can bare afford your car payment then it's probably an issue worth addressing You already know the rough answers to those questions. People with substantial net worth don't but TVs and game consoles with debt. They are a broke ass couple and one of them found out that they are even more broke than she had originally thought. Absolute best case scenario is that she thought they were merely paycheck to paycheck before this revelation. |
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Posted: 5/15/2024 11:09:25 AM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By arowneragain: Compulsive spending? In GD? Surely not.  Attached File |
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USA
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Posted: 5/15/2024 11:09:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: miseses]
[#35]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By PKT1106: I run the finances in our home and I stay on top of stuff. Not with an iron fist, but if my wife hid $14k in debt, there would be serious discussions about what this marriage is for her. There is absolutely no reason to hide finances, unless you're doing something shady or you can't trust your partner. If the latter, then why did you get together? Could be that I came from a childhood of parents arguing about finances all the time. People need to talk about this shit, otherwise it turns ugly and then to divorce very fast. I've been married happily many years and we don't argue finances. I have no idea what assets or debt my wife has, all our accounts are "hidden" from each other, I trust her to take care of her personal income and debt and she trusts me to do same for mine. I don't care the slightest to know the details. We are not rich either. Calculate shared costs, they get split in half and any differential one spouse pays the other. Maybe other people think it's weird but it's worked perfectly for us and we don't have to deal with a lot of the problems that communist-esque pooling creates. |
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Posted: 5/15/2024 11:18:44 AM EDT
[#36]
We have separate financial accts. We've paid everything off we own working together. I could not tell you what accts she has or owes. She does not know my financial situation. She has bills assigned to her to pay, and I've got bills I'm responsible for. We are never late. I will say this, though. If I ask her a question about something, she will tell me the truth and not hide anything.
I give her my statements to file, and she never opens them. I tell her if she wants to do it. I don't care. I do not open her mail either. If she wants a new car, she buys it in just her name. Same with me. Now, huge purchases like if we were to sell the house, yeah, we talk about it. But why should I be entitled to her money she earned or her to mine. She has her retirement and I've got mine. Married 35 years, and it's worked out great and never argue about finances. Have argued over other things before that was just stupid and honestly i can't even remember what they were about. Just because you marry someone does not mean you own them and everything they have. That said she's extremely responsible and hates debt. If she can't pay it off within 2 payments on her credit cards she won't buy it. I'm the same way. We have zero debt. House, cars, boat and RV all paid for. After my ex-wife from years ago stole out of our joint acct. and was sending money to her mother to bank for her. I let her handle finances because I worked all the time. I was 24 at the time. I'd just given her a 3500.00 check to deposit. A week later the acct was down to 100.00 i discovered. I was like WTF  This was the 80s and was earning about 5k a month which was pretty good at the time. I closed acct and opened a new with just me on it and keep check book. She went nuts. I finally gave her a hundred bucks and a plane ticket back home to momma.Never again would I have a joint acct. It's worked out great. I don't get this hiding financial information from your spouse. I've read finances are the number one reason for fights and divorce I think. |
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Posted: 5/15/2024 11:24:33 AM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By runcible: He's probably a fireman. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By runcible: Originally Posted By MHowski: big screen tv and game consoles for work that could very well be true. We had boxes networked through the station to play against each other. I finally sold mine when I realized how addicted I was getting to that stupid thing.
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Posted: 5/15/2024 11:24:40 AM EDT
[#38]
Sounds like my sister's ex (now deceased).
Although he was hiding checks that he had written, she couldn't figure out why hers kept bouncing. |
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Posted: 5/15/2024 11:27:08 AM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By P1pe: That’s not too terrible. Our only debt is our 2.x percent 15 year mortgage but the wife and I have separate finances. I prefer it that way  My man 
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Posted: 5/15/2024 11:27:54 AM EDT
[#40]
My wife and I both work and we have separ5bak accounts. I don't tell her what she can't buy, and she doesn't tell me what I can't buy.
I don't like it when she runs up her CC debt, but she is the one that has to pay it off, not me. |
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Posted: 5/15/2024 11:39:15 AM EDT
[Last Edit: Sandbowl1980]
[#41]
My wife and I do not have joint credit cards. Nor are either of us authorized to use each other's credit cards. She bought me a rolex for our 30th anniversary, and I felt guilty that she spent that kind of money on me. But she said, "I wanted you to have it. Besides, it's an investment. Now I'm guilty of buying her gold, diamonds, etc over 35 years of marriage. Now she says she does not need any more. I look at it as money in the bank. I've got gold and silver in my safe. I've tried to give her the combination, and she's not interested. I keep telling her that if something happens to me, she needs to know how to open it.
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Posted: 5/15/2024 11:41:00 AM EDT
[#42]
The dishonesty about it if they had an agreement to be open about their total finances isn’t cool. On the other hand, $14,000 in debt between two accounts isn’t a huge deal assuming the guy has a decent income and can keep up with the payments. Add a zero and it might be an issue worth getting really mad about, IMO.
I broke things off with a long term GF I was planning to marry after she disclosed that she had over $240k in credit card and student loan debt, and she was planning to quit her job to go back to school for a Master’s using more student loans and living off of credit cards - this was for a career that would have paid about $40,000/yr at most, forever. To her credit, she did at least disclose it before we got married, but that’s a level of financial irresponsibility I didn’t think we could have overcome. |
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Posted: 5/15/2024 11:43:46 AM EDT
[Last Edit: Scoobysmak]
[#43]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By dogsplat: Amateur. I know a guy who’s now separated trying to be ex has spent hundreds, yes, hundreds of thousands on psychics. Humm...what ever she is being told must be working or he would have been divorced by now..... 
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Posted: 5/15/2024 11:46:24 AM EDT
[#44]
Financial infidelity would be supposed to bring 1300 home, 500 goes to payday loan, can't pay bills they agreed to, acct negative by day after, husband covers it, then they get all kinds od Amazon and Etsy boxes.
Ask me how I know what financial infidelity is. Forgot about the part where they think nothing of asking others for money, not just husband. |
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Posted: 5/15/2024 11:55:05 AM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryOkay I had missed this one.....
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Posted: 5/15/2024 11:56:07 AM EDT
[#46]
My ex wife tried to hide $200,000 from me in an account
She was saving up to put me through hell. She was going to leave me for her best friends boyfriend and the best friend informed me about it. My ex settled with me in the divorce and I brought up the money. The judge made her give it back to me because she agreed on a lump sum and having that she would have been over the agreement. After all said and done she ended up with about $80,000 due to a prenup |
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Posted: 5/15/2024 11:58:27 AM EDT
[#47]
The lying is worse than the dollar amount. Of course the two are related, and a high dollar amount might open the door to lying about it, but they need to get to the root cause of why the husband thought he had to lie in the first place.
They should be on the same page about their financial goals even if they have separate accounts. What the hell do they want to do in life, or are they ok being wage slaves til they die? Maybe that's their plan? But what was the extent to which the husband was disrupting the plan, and of course the lying, are the big issues. |
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Posted: 5/15/2024 12:13:15 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By BillofRights: To be completely honest, this thread had me thinking about this. Most of the guys here have far more than $14,000 worth of unaccounted for stuff. Is that supposed to be financial infidelity? It depends. Do they have an accepted budget that they’ve agreed to abide by, and have been hiding money or purchases outside of that accepted budget? If so, yes, that’s financial infidelity. If a man feels the need to lie about or sneak around with his purchases, yes, that’s financial infidelity. If that $14k of stuff isn’t being lied about, hidden, or violating an agreed upon budget, probably not. |
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Posted: 5/15/2024 12:17:08 PM EDT
[Last Edit: Eroic]
[#49]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By MikeMilligan: The lying is worse than the dollar amount. Of course the two are related, and a high dollar amount might open the door to lying about it, but they need to get to the root cause of why the husband thought he had to lie in the first place. They should be on the same page about their financial goals even if they have separate accounts. What the hell do they want to do in life, or are they ok being wage slaves til they die? Maybe that's their plan? But what was the extent to which the husband was disrupting the plan, and of course the lying, are the big issues. I agree with all your points here and highlighted some key words. It sounds like they have never had a plan or financial goals. I suppose lacking those things will make you a wage slave pretty quick. Poor People Spend, The Middle Class Saves, Rich People Invest. |
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Posted: 5/15/2024 12:24:46 PM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Scoobysmak: Meh, my ex was spending 3k in two weeks.....not having a job and I paid for everything. At most she spent $250 on the family at the time, groceries and fast food because her fibromyalgia was acting up and couldn't cook.  I'm fucking glad my fiancée is frugal as fuck! |
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