Originally Posted By FGracing:
Women tend to not accept responsibility or apologize when they know they are wrong. It's easier to twist around reality and deflect until they find a way to place the blame at your feet.

Originally Posted By TheKill:
Reading all these posts blows my mind.

My wife once accidentally backed into my neighbors car.  

So I pull in and she says "I have to tell you something, I backed into the neighbors car".

I said "were you on the fucking cell phone when you did it?"  Because I know her, we have to have regular discussions about paying attention to operating the car at times.  She tends to make bad decisions when it comes to being distracted by shit while she should be focusing on driving.  

She got upset, but she didn't try to turn it around on me.  She said "no, but while I was backing up, I was trying to push the dog back into the back seat because he was trying to come up front".  

I said "so what did we learn here?"  She didn't have an answer, so I told her "next time pay attention to what you are doing, if you can't do that because, for example, the dog is climbing over the top of you, then just stop the car and fix the problem first for fuck's sake".  

She apologized.  I said "well how bad was it and what did the neighbor say" and she said "I went and got him, we looked at it, there was no damage.  I said "OK, let's learn from this so there isn't a next time that does damage or hurts somebody!"

Then the matter was forgotten and we went and had a nice dinner.  She has never dug it up to try and throw it back at me, and I haven't done that to her either.  

Now, pretty much every other woman I've been with would have turned it around on me and said I was "being an asshole", whatever and turned the entire episode into "TheKill treats his wife like shit, that is the entirety of the problem here, film at 11".  That is why if her and I ever split up, I won't be getting married again.  All this dysfunctional, unaccountable, shitty, narcissistic behavior that passes for normal "that's just women, learn to deal with it".  Yeah, no, fuck that, thanks.

Originally Posted By Ridgerunner9876:

We have some genuine security geniuses around here.

It is beginning to dawn on me that aptitude for matters such as security is generally lower than I expected on average.

Originally Posted By xylo:
If OP wasn't drunk/drinking, he could have taken care of his house instead. Next time don't be incapacitated. It's a hard world.

Originally Posted By WoolRug:
Do you guys ever listen to yourselves talk about how stupid and childlike you think your wives are?

Originally Posted By TheKill:
Reading all these posts blows my mind.

My wife once accidentally backed into my neighbors car.  

So I pull in and she says "I have to tell you something, I backed into the neighbors car".

I said "were you on the fucking cell phone when you did it?"  Because I know her, we have to have regular discussions about paying attention to operating the car at times.  She tends to make bad decisions when it comes to being distracted by shit while she should be focusing on driving.  

She got upset, but she didn't try to turn it around on me.  She said "no, but while I was backing up, I was trying to push the dog back into the back seat because he was trying to come up front".  

I said "so what did we learn here?"  She didn't have an answer, so I told her "next time pay attention to what you are doing, if you can't do that because, for example, the dog is climbing over the top of you, then just stop the car and fix the problem first for fuck's sake".  

She apologized.  I said "well how bad was it and what did the neighbor say" and she said "I went and got him, we looked at it, there was no damage.  I said "OK, let's learn from this so there isn't a next time that does damage or hurts somebody!"

Then the matter was forgotten and we went and had a nice dinner.  She has never dug it up to try and throw it back at me, and I haven't done that to her either.  

Now, pretty much every other woman I've been with would have turned it around on me and said I was "being an asshole", whatever and turned the entire episode into "TheKill treats his wife like shit, that is the entirety of the problem here, film at 11".  That is why if her and I ever split up, I won't be getting married again.  All this dysfunctional, unaccountable, shitty, narcissistic behavior that passes for normal "that's just women, learn to deal with it".  Yeah, no, fuck that, thanks.

Originally Posted By JamiesGotAGun:
You're fucked.

You're so fucked,  you cannot even comprehend.

You betrayed her.
You chastised her in front of your family.
You made her understand what she did was fucking dumb.

You're fucked.

Originally Posted By BuckeyeRifleman:
Last weekend we were handing out with my parents about 2 hrs away. We're having a good time, I've had a few drinks, hanging out. My wife announced that she thought the person she was texting on marketplace might be a scammer. They said they sent the money for the workout equipment she was selling, but are now asking for a refund. I look at the texts, and I immediately agree that it's 100% a scammer.

She then told us that she had already given said person our address and told them we were out of town until tomorrow afternoon to arrange the meetup prior to receiving the money.

I flip out a bit. I don't raise my voice, but I'm more than a little angry with her for telling strangers we're out of town and giving them our address. I then look at our driveway/garage security camera and realize I forgot to charge it (it's at 1% battery.) This is my fault, but it fuels my unease more than a bit. I can't just drive home as I had been drinking, plus it's 11:30 at night. I think about the fact a house not far from ours got hit and cleaned out due to a social media post last year.

So I give my wife a bit of the riot act. Again, not to the point of losing my mind or raising my voice, but like "Seriously, did you think about the fact you don't know this person before telling them that!?" She just retorts, "Look at the profile pic, she seems normal!" This conversation lasts about 10 minutes. It was nothing crazy, I've had worse come to Jesus' from elementary school teachers.

Instead of just apologizing for her mistake, my wife doesn't take any responsibility for it and storms off to bed. So I vent a bit to my mom for about 20 minutes about my wife's lack of situational awareness and common sense at times, in reality I'm probably more pissed at myself for not charging the camera more than anything.  

I then get a text from the wife. "I hear everything you are saying, it's gonna take a long time to forgive you for this!"



Now I'm the bad guy. My wife has been seeing a therapist for depression/anxiety and some childhood trauma. I think that's great. The downside is, because of this she now seems to fancy herself a mental health expert. She claims that I need therapy and it wasn't normal to be angry over that, etc etc.

I apologized for probably overreacting.  
Thankfully, we got home and all was well and now I seem like an asshole. But it was still really dumb on her part. Somehow, it's now my fault and I'm the one who has problems.

Originally Posted By TheKill:
Reading all these posts blows my mind.

My wife once accidentally backed into my neighbors car.  

So I pull in and she says "I have to tell you something, I backed into the neighbors car".

I said "were you on the fucking cell phone when you did it?"  Because I know her, we have to have regular discussions about paying attention to operating the car at times.  She tends to make bad decisions when it comes to being distracted by shit while she should be focusing on driving.  

She got upset, but she didn't try to turn it around on me.  She said "no, but while I was backing up, I was trying to push the dog back into the back seat because he was trying to come up front".  

I said "so what did we learn here?"  She didn't have an answer, so I told her "next time pay attention to what you are doing, if you can't do that because, for example, the dog is climbing over the top of you, then just stop the car and fix the problem first for fuck's sake".  

She apologized.  I said "well how bad was it and what did the neighbor say" and she said "I went and got him, we looked at it, there was no damage.  I said "OK, let's learn from this so there isn't a next time that does damage or hurts somebody!"

Then the matter was forgotten and we went and had a nice dinner.  She has never dug it up to try and throw it back at me, and I haven't done that to her either.  

Now, pretty much every other woman I've been with would have turned it around on me and said I was "being an asshole", whatever and turned the entire episode into "TheKill treats his wife like shit, that is the entirety of the problem here, film at 11".  That is why if her and I ever split up, I won't be getting married again.  All this dysfunctional, unaccountable, shitty, narcissistic behavior that passes for normal "that's just women, learn to deal with it".  Yeah, no, fuck that, thanks.

Originally Posted By PlaneJane:
If I were either one of these two, I’d divorce the other one.

Originally Posted By dc306:
I had a live in GF that was constantly leaving the house unlocked, garage door up when she would leave, etc. What made me crazy was her lack of ability to understand my point of "They aren't going to steal your candles and dolies, and shit, they are going to steal all MY SHIT, the guns, the knives, the ammo, the body armor, etc". She could never wrap her brain around that concept that it wasn't even a fair risk mistake, she was setting ME up to get cleaned out.

And yes, she's the ex GF, but not because of that stuff.

Originally Posted By StevenH:
Her feelings are not your responsibility.

Originally Posted By perfectsilence:

Other people know you have that shit? Who’s the retard here lmao

Originally Posted By FluffyTheCat:

You are the asshole but only because you apologized to your wife.  You should have told her that you don't care how she feels.

You are the man. You are supposed to protect your family and stupid emotional feelings should not enter into your mind.

You should have let her storm off to bed. You should not care about her stupidity.

Originally Posted By BuckeyeRifleman:


Yup, you are right.

99% of the time I would’ve kept my mouth shut and calmly explained what kind of danger she put us in.

Had my security camera not been at 1% battery (no shit) I probably would’ve reacted that way even though I still would’ve been mad.

Instead my inner monologue became my outer monologue. “WTF… are you serious? How could you give a stranger our address then tell them we are out of town? Did you not think about that at all?”

That’s more or less what was said. It wasn’t like “You stupid bitch!” or anything.

Originally Posted By terryj:
Did you check references before you entered into that contract?

Originally Posted By OHBuckeyes:


Haha you talk to your wife like she’s five?

Originally Posted By MFP_4073:
updates OP ??

y’all still married ?

Originally Posted By BuckeyeRifleman:

I also explained why I was so worried. She still sort of doesn’t get it which is frustrating… “I still don’t understand why it was such a big deal? I don’t want to live in a world where I have to think like that.”

Originally Posted By BuckeyeRifleman:


Yeah, we’re fine. We talked it out. I explained my side, and that it was the perfect shit storm or bad circumstances, so I didn’t handle it well.  

…

I also explained why I was so worried. She still sort of doesn’t get it which is frustrating… “I still don’t understand why it was such a big deal? I don’t want to live in a world where I have to think like that.”

“Well you do, whether you like it or not, just be a little more careful next time. Maybe I should handle the marketplace selling next time.”

Originally Posted By ArmedKulak:
You're the bad guy for going online and posting about how stupid your wife is.