Posted: 7/7/2004 12:44:09 PM EDT
|
Friend sent this to me via email: ----------------------------------------------------------------------- MEMORANDUM: TO THE MAJORITY OF US REGARDING: THE NEWLY REVISED OVER 50 DRESS CODE Hello, Our charitable responsibilities have dictated (and we’d like to keep down our cookies) the necessity for this memorandum. While we were out recently, we saw a robust 57 year old woman blond, bra-less wearing an under-sized tank top at a biker stop. Go ahead, imagine for yourself the picture... If that wasn’t enough, she turned to wave, then smiled and there’s not a tooth to be found. We were then privileged to see her large back-shoulder tattoo of a Bald Eagle had aged to become Rand McNally 3-D map of what we guessed to be a Snowy Appalachian Mountain Range tapering off to the Ozarks? Hence... Many of us "Old Folks" (those over 50, way over 50 and even some hovering near 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to be nice and conform to the fashions that the designers in NYC, California, and/ or Paris inflict upon the world. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So we made a serious study of the situation and here are the results. I don't want to burst your bubble, but despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations do not go-together and thus should be avoided: (REVISED) OVER 50 DRESS CODE 1. A nose ring and bifocals 2. Spiked hair and bald spots 3. A pierced tongue and dentures 4. Miniskirts and support hose 5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads 6. Speedo's and cellulite 7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar 8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor 9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge 10. Bikinis and liver spots 11. Oversized, people in tank tops showing a tattoo 12. Short shorts and varicose veins 13. In-line skates and a walker 14. Thongs and Depends Please keep these guidelines available when shopping with copies available when needed |
That's some funny stuff! Being over 50 most of his insights are spot on. M |