Posted: 7/3/2004 10:52:15 AM EDT
| We have no property or asssets so we are using one of those quick and easy ones. Attorney has the paperwork, been paid, retainer, etc. Should all be said and done by October. |
Carefull . Those quick and easy ones can blow up over night no matter how nice you try to be . |
OCTOBER?! If there's no property or assets, then why is it going to take so long? |
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My first wife and I did one of the quickie cheapie divorces and it went off without a hitch. I paid a typing service $55 for the paperwork and a $100 filing fee and I then we waited for the judge to sign off. We never even had to appear. I think it depends on both parties being adult enough to just accept that it didn't work and the cheapies will work fine. But, if she doesn't sign the appearance waiver (that's what it's called in Indiana) you may want to look at another option. Just to protect your ass..ets. |
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Thanx for all the encouragement. I'm sitting here this early norning pondering my life. 33 years old and most of my adult life I had been in a state of dependence. Not on a substance but on others. I don't quite understand this but looking back I relinquished all of myself to my wife and daughters mother, each taking bits of me until now theres not enough of me to even take care of myself. At this point I am about 30k in debt including truck and student loans, work cash uner the table job for the last 12 years with legit employment sporadically. Ihave about $1k to my name and no credit no decent job leads. Made a mess of the decent women I found. If there is one thing I regret in all of this, it is that I gave up. Figuring it would all work out. It didn't. Here I am, alone when all of my friends are married happily with kids, house, job. All the things I wanted and still do desire. I made a mess of myself by letting life "happen" to me rather than taking control. And now as crazy as it seems I discovered feelings for someone new that I had onluy once before in my life and I blew it. Not mature enough at the time to take control of myself and marry her. Instead latching on to the ones who would drain me of myself. Now another walks into my life and we now find each other at the distant ends of a relationship that is mired by my marriage, finances, and living arraingments(with my 24 year old brother). So it sounds crazy, I guess but I am overwhelmed by lonliness right now. I only regret that at this point I am not what I want to be. This girl I met has distanced herself from me because of my situation of not being divorced, stable job, etc. Who can blame her? Took me 6 months to finaly file. My stuff still at our apt and all that. Now she waits for me on the side, hoping Iwill get it together. Me not knowing where to fucking begin. All the while hoping that this one doesn't get away like the last. As strange as it sounds and contrary to what everyone tells me to be, I have , in spite of being married for 3 years, engaged for one, and dating for 5, I was alone all that time. Never truly in love with my daughters mother or my wife. There were times I swore I was but looking back, it was desperation to cure lonliness that perpetuated itself. I'm so depressed right now. I would give anything to find a decent 9-5 job that paid the bills and allowed me to get my life on track, be the man this girl needs me to be. I guess I am so engulfed with her because the thought of losing her reminds me of my failures at life. I have one pillar of myself that I am proud of and that is my Naval service. The rest of my life just seems to beat me around. I don't think I can bear to lose this girl, be living with my brother, and broke for much longer. I look around at folks who are successful and try to find what they have and I lack. I can't figure what it is. I have struggled to climb out of this but keep falling back. Now it is swim or die. I don't even know the first stroke. Sorry for the deporssing rant but I'm a mess right now. Allthe crap that cmes with this divorce stuff amplified by the fact I am in love with a woman who recognizes that I am not able to be that guy for her right now and it makes me feel so fucking inadequate. |
Prayers coming, man. That sounds painful. It sounds like you know your problems. The next step is to deal with them. |
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What you're feeling seems permanent and overwhelming, but with a good attitude/approach you can turn it into anything you want. Start asking yourself questions you might not have before; Do I; want to go back into the military? want to start new in another state? work in a different field? etc. You are never so free, as when you have nothing. If you always wanted to live in Alaska, or work for a hunting outfitter in Wyoming, or any other thing/place you wanted to try, when you get to zero you can start over anywhere. Don't dwell on adversity, but find your opportunity. Pray every day that you make the right decision, and possibly discuss the things with the girl you mentioned. Maybe she's bold enough to make a new start too. I'll add you to my prayer list. You can do it. 
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