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Posted: 2/24/2021 7:59:43 PM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I believe he has a felony conviction from way back. Depending on what it is you can petition for restoration of rights... |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:01:59 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Can't have a GD thread without someone bringing the hate. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Low hanging fruit of "comedians" and a commie. Has good coke though... Can't have a GD thread without someone bringing the hate. Tim Allen was a mediocre (at best) stand up comic whose "gimmick" caught on in popular culture. He translated that gravitas to a sit com which wasn't very funny. It wasn't awful but, it certainly wasn't in the top 500 of all time best sit coms. He turned *that* fame (don't fucking ask me how) into a series of B movies with A budgets and C list costars which had varying levels of cinematic success, the Toy Story series notwithstanding. Finally, after all of his movie stardom had been used up, not that there was a lot there to begin with, he moved BACK into a remake of Home Improvement where he manages an Academy knockoff. He certainly has more money, fame and probably a "cooler" life story than mine by many measures BUT, he's not what I would consider to be "good" comic talent. His schtick caught on but got old fast, his timing is just OK and he never really found anyone he had great chemistry with, which is how you turn "ok comedy" into blockbuster movies. Just look at the combinations of Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan, Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy (though, to be fair, Eddie was funny as fuck on his own), Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong and others. Those teams had something that was much greater than the sum of their parts. Tim Allen never found that. He's the Sweet and Low of comedy. It's *kind of like* the real thing but, it lacks the flavor you were hoping for. |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:02:45 PM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'm Alton Brown |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:03:46 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'm Todd Howard. I can validate this. |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:04:00 PM EDT
[#5]
I'm The One-Armed Man
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:05:50 PM EDT
[#6]
I thought The Sant Clause was really good.
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:09:43 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Depending on what it is you can petition for restoration of rights... Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I believe he has a felony conviction from way back. Depending on what it is you can petition for restoration of rights...  Got out of prison early, by being a stoolie. |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:10:55 PM EDT
[#8]
Richard Karn reminds me of Rip Torn minus 20 years of booze.
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:10:57 PM EDT
[#9]
Iirc, someone here claimed that April was his sister, correct?
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:12:04 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted: wow shes is a pretty lady   Wood smash without prejudice. |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:12:06 PM EDT
[#11]
Decker here, replicants be damned.
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:13:01 PM EDT
[#12]
I'm a nobody in real life, just like here.
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:16:55 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'm not Alton, I'm Willie. Venmo me $1000 Fixed it for you. |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:21:11 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted: He's not wrong, though. Tim Allen was a mediocre (at best) stand up comic whose "gimmick" caught on in popular culture. He translated that gravitas to a sit com which wasn't very funny. It wasn't awful but, it certainly wasn't in the top 500 of all time best sit coms. He turned *that* fame (don't fucking ask me how) into a series of B movies with A budgets and C list costars which had varying levels of cinematic success, the Toy Story series notwithstanding. Finally, after all of his movie stardom had been used up, not that there was a lot there to begin with, he moved BACK into a remake of Home Improvement where he manages an Academy knockoff. He certainly has more money, fame and probably a "cooler" life story than mine by many measures BUT, he's not what I would consider to be "good" comic talent. His schtick caught on but got old fast, his timing is just OK and he never really found anyone he had great chemistry with, which is how you turn "ok comedy" into blockbuster movies. Just look at the combinations of Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan, Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy (though, to be fair, Eddie was funny as fuck on his own), Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong and others. Those teams had something that was much greater than the sum of their parts. Tim Allen never found that. He's the Sweet and Low of comedy. It's *kind of like* the real thing but, it lacks the flavor you were hoping for.  Attached File |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:26:38 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted: He's not wrong, though. Tim Allen was a mediocre (at best) stand up comic whose "gimmick" caught on in popular culture. He translated that gravitas to a sit com which wasn't very funny. It wasn't awful but, it certainly wasn't in the top 500 of all time best sit coms. He turned *that* fame (don't fucking ask me how) into a series of B movies with A budgets and C list costars which had varying levels of cinematic success, the Toy Story series notwithstanding. Finally, after all of his movie stardom had been used up, not that there was a lot there to begin with, he moved BACK into a remake of Home Improvement where he manages an Academy knockoff. He certainly has more money, fame and probably a "cooler" life story than mine by many measures BUT, he's not what I would consider to be "good" comic talent. His schtick caught on but got old fast, his timing is just OK and he never really found anyone he had great chemistry with, which is how you turn "ok comedy" into blockbuster movies. Just look at the combinations of Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan, Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy (though, to be fair, Eddie was funny as fuck on his own), Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong and others. Those teams had something that was much greater than the sum of their parts. Tim Allen never found that. He's the Sweet and Low of comedy. It's *kind of like* the real thing but, it lacks the flavor you were hoping for. Its yet another example of: Fcommies Fcriminals Fdrugdealers Fanti2Afolks FHollywood Flibtards Fwokeactors But...but not him because he is so funny and original, he is the "every man". |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:32:15 PM EDT
[#16]
I'm not an actor, I just play one on T.V.
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:38:09 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: He's not wrong, though. Tim Allen was a mediocre (at best) stand up comic whose "gimmick" caught on in popular culture. He translated that gravitas to a sit com which wasn't very funny. It wasn't awful but, it certainly wasn't in the top 500 of all time best sit coms. He turned *that* fame (don't fucking ask me how) into a series of B movies with A budgets and C list costars which had varying levels of cinematic success, the Toy Story series notwithstanding. Finally, after all of his movie stardom had been used up, not that there was a lot there to begin with, he moved BACK into a remake of Home Improvement where he manages an Academy knockoff. He certainly has more money, fame and probably a "cooler" life story than mine by many measures BUT, he's not what I would consider to be "good" comic talent. His schtick caught on but got old fast, his timing is just OK and he never really found anyone he had great chemistry with, which is how you turn "ok comedy" into blockbuster movies. Just look at the combinations of Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan, Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy (though, to be fair, Eddie was funny as fuck on his own), Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong and others. Those teams had something that was much greater than the sum of their parts. Tim Allen never found that. He's the Sweet and Low of comedy. It's *kind of like* the real thing but, it lacks the flavor you were hoping for. Yes, Galaxy Quest was totally B-level production & casting... |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:38:11 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'm Todd Howard. Fallout and The Elder Scrolls are not multi-player games! Stop that shit! |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:43:37 PM EDT
[#19]
I'm corn pop
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:44:23 PM EDT
[#20]
I've seen his name pop up in the "what celebrities are here" threads. I have a good idea of his screen name..i think
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:46:12 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'm Alton Brown |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:48:22 PM EDT
[#22]
His book, Don't Stand Too Close To a Naked Man, was a good read.
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:52:20 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: He's not wrong, though. Tim Allen was a mediocre (at best) stand up comic whose "gimmick" caught on in popular culture. He translated that gravitas to a sit com which wasn't very funny. It wasn't awful but, it certainly wasn't in the top 500 of all time best sit coms. He turned *that* fame (don't fucking ask me how) into a series of B movies with A budgets and C list costars which had varying levels of cinematic success, the Toy Story series notwithstanding. Finally, after all of his movie stardom had been used up, not that there was a lot there to begin with, he moved BACK into a remake of Home Improvement where he manages an Academy knockoff. He certainly has more money, fame and probably a "cooler" life story than mine by many measures BUT, he's not what I would consider to be "good" comic talent. His schtick caught on but got old fast, his timing is just OK and he never really found anyone he had great chemistry with, which is how you turn "ok comedy" into blockbuster movies. Just look at the combinations of Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan, Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy (though, to be fair, Eddie was funny as fuck on his own), Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong and others. Those teams had something that was much greater than the sum of their parts. Tim Allen never found that. He's the Sweet and Low of comedy. It's *kind of like* the real thing but, it lacks the flavor you were hoping for. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Low hanging fruit of "comedians" and a commie. Has good coke though... Can't have a GD thread without someone bringing the hate. Tim Allen was a mediocre (at best) stand up comic whose "gimmick" caught on in popular culture. He translated that gravitas to a sit com which wasn't very funny. It wasn't awful but, it certainly wasn't in the top 500 of all time best sit coms. He turned *that* fame (don't fucking ask me how) into a series of B movies with A budgets and C list costars which had varying levels of cinematic success, the Toy Story series notwithstanding. Finally, after all of his movie stardom had been used up, not that there was a lot there to begin with, he moved BACK into a remake of Home Improvement where he manages an Academy knockoff. He certainly has more money, fame and probably a "cooler" life story than mine by many measures BUT, he's not what I would consider to be "good" comic talent. His schtick caught on but got old fast, his timing is just OK and he never really found anyone he had great chemistry with, which is how you turn "ok comedy" into blockbuster movies. Just look at the combinations of Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan, Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy (though, to be fair, Eddie was funny as fuck on his own), Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong and others. Those teams had something that was much greater than the sum of their parts. Tim Allen never found that. He's the Sweet and Low of comedy. It's *kind of like* the real thing but, it lacks the flavor you were hoping for.  Show us on the doll where Tim touched you...  |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 8:57:31 PM EDT
[#24]
I was a Space Cowboy , now I'm tumbling thru reentery .
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:01:02 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I am Iron Man Can you walk at all, or if you move will you fall? |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:01:53 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I’m Alton Brown Not sure if serious.  If Alton Brown has an Italian pseudonym and owns two of my chef knives I’ll be dipped in it an rolled on cracker crumbs 
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:04:01 PM EDT
[#27]
I'm a dead alien living in Antarctica
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:07:45 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You'd probably make more money if you threatened to send the pics unless they pay. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I'm not Alton, I'm Willie. Venmo me $1000 and I will send you nude pics of Kamala. You'd probably make more money if you threatened to send the pics unless they pay. |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:12:58 PM EDT
[#29]
I’m Bruce Willis
Yippikiyah mother fucker! |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:15:02 PM EDT
[#30]
I'm Rick James, bitch!
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:15:15 PM EDT
[#31]
I don't know about Tim Allen but there's a member here that can channel Debbie Dunning, or maybe Carol Channing...
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:18:54 PM EDT
[#32]
I'm the Cloverfield monster.
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:19:08 PM EDT
[#33]
Tim Allen is a national treasure! I hope so.
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:20:24 PM EDT
[#34]
I had a dream the other day that Alton Brown had me at his house in South Carolina having a large dinner in his movie theater.
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:23:13 PM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I was a Space Cowboy , now I'm tumbling thru reentery . I am the walrus Goo goo gajoob |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:23:45 PM EDT
[#36]
@R32 is Janet Reno.
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:24:05 PM EDT
[#37]
Doubt it. Doesn’t he have a felony conviction for drugs, so basically not allowed to own guns?
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:24:43 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I don't know about Tim Allen but there's a member here that can channel Debbie Dunning, or maybe Carol Channing...  Ryan Stiles - Carol Channing Impressions |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:24:53 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Yes, Galaxy Quest was totally B-level production & casting... It was a great movie though...right? His Santa Claus movies are classic Christmas family movies at this point. Outdoor Man is a funny and heartwarming comedy the whole family can watch without being on edge that commie bullshit might be pushed. Home Improvement was great in its day, but admittedly hasn't aged well. |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:26:26 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Doubt it. Doesn’t he have a felony conviction for drugs, so basically not allowed to own guns? Like that would stop someone from being a member here. |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:27:17 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted: He's not wrong, though. Tim Allen was a mediocre (at best) stand up comic whose "gimmick" caught on in popular culture. He translated that gravitas to a sit com which wasn't very funny. It wasn't awful but, it certainly wasn't in the top 500 of all time best sit coms. He turned *that* fame (don't fucking ask me how) into a series of B movies with A budgets and C list costars which had varying levels of cinematic success, the Toy Story series notwithstanding. Finally, after all of his movie stardom had been used up, not that there was a lot there to begin with, he moved BACK into a remake of Home Improvement where he manages an Academy knockoff. He certainly has more money, fame and probably a "cooler" life story than mine by many measures BUT, he's not what I would consider to be "good" comic talent. His schtick caught on but got old fast, his timing is just OK and he never really found anyone he had great chemistry with, which is how you turn "ok comedy" into blockbuster movies. Just look at the combinations of Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan, Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy (though, to be fair, Eddie was funny as fuck on his own), Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong and others. Those teams had something that was much greater than the sum of their parts. Tim Allen never found that. He's the Sweet and Low of comedy. It's *kind of like* the real thing but, it lacks the flavor you were hoping for. This has to be the most heartfelt, thought out, respectful while being completely honest, brutal insult I have ever read. I am both amazed and saddened by reading this. You, my friend have a way with words and if we ever cross paths first beer is on me.... |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:28:55 PM EDT
[#42]
I'm Mike Rowe
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:32:15 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Yes, Galaxy Quest was totally B-level production & casting... |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:33:02 PM EDT
[#44]
I'm Ron Burgundy?
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:34:36 PM EDT
[#45]
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:36:32 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'm Gage the porn star. Well Gage is from Arkansas... |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:37:25 PM EDT
[#47]
I'm Sigourney Weaver.
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:42:47 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'm Sigourney Weaver. How you doin??? |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:42:54 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I believe he has a felony conviction from way back. He spent about a year and a half in prison. Was selling coke. |
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Posted: 2/24/2021 9:43:00 PM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I am Howie Carr I probably should not have said anything. Huge fan, please give Grace a pat on the ass for me. |
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