Posted: 5/9/2004 7:41:59 PM EDT
|
About two years ago, a guy cut my wife off in traffic. When she blew the horn at him (to watch where he was going), he promply responded with a middle finger. The gesture was returned and things only got worse from there. The guy hit the brakes in front of her several times trying to make her hit him. She tried to pass him a couple of times and he would cut over in front of her and then hit the brakes again. He threw a drink out the window at her, etc. At one point, they got stuck at a traffic light. He opened the door, put one foot out of the car, leaned out, looked at her, and pounded his fist into his other hand. Light changed to green and this repeated for another mile. At the next light, she (stupidily) got out of her car. Other driver did the same. Keep in mind that she had been unable to ever pass him and he was still in front of her. When she asked him what his (explicitive removed) problem was, he began yelling at her, etc. When she said it wasn't worth it and TURNED HER BACK to him and began walking back to her vehicle, he proceeded to say something about "knocking her f^%$#*@ teeth out". She then (more stupidily) turned back and said "Do it". Now this is a guy probably about 35-40, about 6'1" and 200 lbs or so. He proceeded to call her several names (the "c" word, the "b" word, and the "w" word, all with their own adjectives in front)and spit in her face. My wife knocked his sunglasses off. He pushed her in the chest, at which time, my wife (who is only 5' 5" and about 120lbs) proceeded to whip his ass in the middle of the intersection. My wife is a military brat (father in law is a retired Marine - 22 years). I kid her that she spent more time in the military than I did. Anyway, my wife is a sweetheart AND a hottie, but you don't want to piss her off. Was I mad? Yeah. Was it a MAJOR inconvience? Yes, and it will continue to be a HUGE financial problem for many years. Do I wish it wouldn't have happened? Yes, but it did and I can't change the fact it did. I am not going to second guess her. She freaked that once again, some dickhead was going to threaten her and push her around. She lived through a lot of shit when she was younger. She defended herself. Mostly I am just glad to still have her in one piece, alive and not in jail or 6 feet under. Anyway, we talked at length over the past two years. She knows what she did was stupid. She knows that she could have been killed for doing it. I flat out told her that had it been me, I would have shot her ass in the intersection, and I think she knows I would have. I have told her that they would have hauled her off in a body bag rather than the paddy wagon. It could have been MUCH worse. There are a lot of 'should haves' that became apparent after she had time to calm down and realize what she had done. My grandmother always told me "hind sight is always 20/20" (it is a Southern thing). We went through the criminal stuff about 1 1/2 years ago. We were facing civil court tomorrow. Finally settled out of court. We probably could have gotten a jury to agree BOTH parties were stupid and NO ONE deserved anything, but it was going to cost ANOTHER $5-6K just for three days in court. This is on top of MANY $K's already. I paid them a fraction of just what our attorney fees were going to cost. Oh, I forgot to mention his PREGNANT wife was in the passenger side of the car. She was suing too for "mental anguish" that put undue stress on her pregnancy late term. Anyway, I just had to get it out. It has been eating at me for a long time. Now, just 52 years until I have all the debt paid off.  I already sold my Kimber. Anyone need an ELCS?
|
All she wanted was her day in court, and I wanted to give it to her. However, it has already almost broke the bank and we have kids to feed and clothe. Anymore would have been the BIG bankruptcy.  I wasn't personally being sued, but since she doesn't work, guess who had to fund this "project"? It will take me YEARS to pay off the debt we already have. The best we could have expected from court and the additional attorney costs was "you're both stupid and neither one of you deserves anything". The worst would have been a judgement against her (which she has no means to pay). Still, it was several thousand more $$$$$ just to get there.
|
 I know this caused you trouble, but it's STILL utterly PRICELESS! CJ |
|
I am sorry you have to pay this shit but your wife was an asshole and now you're payin for it. That was seriously dumb shit that she did. Sorry, it just was. Anyone who exits their car at an intersection to "deal" with another driver is asking for trouble and deserves what they get. Too bad you are the guy paying. I hope you straightened her out. You're lucky she's still alive. |
And thus the "mental anguish" suffered by the prego wife. Knowing she married a pussy. |
|
I'm not usually one to say "I told you so" but I'm sure the wife already knows how stupid this is. I don't know why we as Americans get so worked up over shit like this. I drive 30,000 miles a year and have experienced a lot of this. I even had one guy do the same thing for NO reason - got out of his car, started coming towards me, then pointed at me to follow him - he looked certifiably insane. In the future, simply calm down, ignore the other guy, don't gesture with your hand or make a face, and the hothead will leave you alone. Hopefully he'll eventually get nailed by the cops or make a mistake and crash his car into a tree and die. |
My thoughts exactly. Sorry to hear of your troubles. I also have a petite wife with a huge temper. She has chilled out a bit, but she'll stand her own ground and is not affraid to tell someone where they can go. Including me. 
|
The most important thing I learned in the NM CCW class is how expensive physical confrontations can be. 5k to retain a lawyer, 25k for a grand jury, 150k for a trial. And then there's the civil suit. You can bet that I'm not going to get into anything resembling a pissing contest. If your life is in danger, it's different; you do what you have to do. Even then, it's better to SSS. |
It's called witnesses. There was two of them and only one of her. You know as well as I do that majority wins. He claimed he did NOTHING and that she was some kind of demented psychopathic crazed woman behind the wheel. Pregnant wife was there to back it all up. Guess who they believed? |
Man, thanks a lot guys for restating the obvious. In case you missed it in the ORINGINAL POST, let me say it again:
|
|
Did she plead guilty in criminal court or go to trial? If she plead I think that'd give you some problems in a civil case, also although you could go bankrupt on the attorney's fees if she was found to have assaulted someone that would probably not be dischargeable in bankruptcy, now if she doesn't work and her name isn't on the title to your home I don't know how anyone would collect it. I had a guy try to start a fight with me over traffic stuff years ago. I didn't realize until I had him pinned on the hood of his car that his wife was in the car, I still remember the look on her face. I was shocked-what an idiot. He was a fairly big guy (a lot bigger than me) so maybe he was used to being able to push people around and intimidate them but I just could not fathom what would possess someone to get into that situation with their wife in the car. Some people arrived just as I had let him go and they only saw the end of the confrontation (i.e. me  , not him attacking me. ) I had let him go at that point after I had told him to get in his car and get out of there. But I almost got into a fight with the "concerned citizens" who were "going to teach me a lesson." I guess since I was the one in the leathers and helmet and he was driving a station wagon with his wife in it they figured I had started it.Although I didn't, in my opinion, do anything wrong from a moral standpoint,; after I got home it scared the crap out of me, I could easily have been the one that ended up in jail over that incident. |
First, let me go over the charges. They both were arrested for road rage, a misdermeanor. She got the added hit of battery. (She admitted to hitting him several times because my wife is an honest person, even when it means it will cost her). She pled no contest with the added benefit of having a first offender status. If she stays out of trouble, it will be erased from her "permanent record".
This sounds about like how it went down. Aside from the obvious fact that it could have been much worse (she could have been injured or killed), I don't think most people realize how quickly they can be perceived as the instigator despite thinking themselves as the 'victim', defending themselves, whatever. Although it sounds like you were defending yourself, all it takes is 2 others who only see a portion of what happened and who are left with a different 'impression' than your take on things to make you to turn you into "Defendant". I guess that is the main lesson that I can pass on to everyone else from this. #1 - Be Careful #2 - Be Smart #3 - Let Stupid Shit Slide and if you don't follow the above four rules, be sure to follow #4 - Have WITNESSES. Otherwise, you may be as right as rain, but if there are more against you than are for you, you are going ot get screwed for it. |
If it were me, and since you now know who this person is and presumably where he lives and what kind of cars he drives, if he were a local person, I would try my best to get him arrested for a traffic offense. I would borrow friend's or coworker's cars and their cell phones and occasionally follow him, especially on a Friday or Sat. night when he might visit a drinking establishment. When he comes out and gets in his car and on the road, I would call the police and report a person driving erratically. If he was speeding a lot, I would call that in too. If the town requires vehicle stickers, and he didn't have one, I'd call in for that too. I don't want to get you into trouble, but if this happened to me, I would be vindictive. There's a fine line between being a responsible citizen and stalking, of course. Maybe he would figure out it was you, maybe not. Just giving you ideas, if you really want to go about things in a legal way. These suggestions work. Don't ask me how I know.
|
|
Good thing you settled it, whatever the reason, if she plead guilty I would think that'd come out at the trial and her goose would have been cooked. Well I can't picture a jury giving this guy any significant money but without insurance coverage even a small verdict would have been a disaster. I take that back, sounds like some kind of nolo contendre plea- in NY that's same as a guilty plea, sounds like down there it's like our "adjournment in contemplation of dismissal" where the charge is later dismissed if the defendant doesn't get in any further trouble. |
