There are a lot of stories from Midway. From Air crew fuck ups to Subs banging into shit.
I was there in the late 90’s for the DoD to DoI turnover.

Many go like this:
Aircraft bird strike takes out engine. Plane grounded. Second plane brings new engine. Yep..bird strike. Another engine gone. Ok..lets limit air time in the bird zone...which you can’t because they are all over the runway area.
Next parts delivery..Touch and go skid drop with several million in jet engine parts. Great idea. Good practice and get the parts.

Except..they are going too fast. Slip the load out the back. It careens across the runway, through some trees and into the harbor. Oops !

New rules. No more day time take offs or landings during the Albatross nesting season unless absolutely necessary.

I had a driver that put a quart of turboshaft (10wt) in the transmission on an Abrams.   TC had him use a vampire to suck out about two gallons of 30wt out of the transmission so he wouldn't get confused again.     For those that don't know, the vampire was a small hand pump for pulling oil samples to send for analysis.  Oil samples were probably less than a cup.. so sucking up two gallons is a memorable event...  LOL

Snort.

You saw a COC violation, or you heard about one from your best good buddy Bubba?

Is the pilot now flying rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong?

We were flushing and installing a new JP5 hose for helicopter refueling. After we spent a long day pumping testing, etc, one of my fucking worst shit head E3’s finally showed up late for duty. His contribution to the evolution? Dumped about 2 gallons worth of tested JP5 samples down the sounding tube to the JP5 storage tank. Except it wasn’t the JP5 tank, it was the ship’s hydraulic reservoir fill tube, which looks nothing alike. So 750 gallons of hydraulic got contaminated... my division got to pump all of it out to the dirty oil tank, and handle the offload to a truck. Then we had to do confined space entry in to the hydraulic tank to clean it. Then button it up, and refill it from a truck. The best part? Shit head E3 had medical appointments on the days that the cleanup and refilling happened so he didn’t even help fix his own fuckup.

1992 in the Gulf a CH-46 was landing on the LPD (one of the smaller ships) of our MEU and landed so hard it broke the frame in the middle of the bird.  It stayed on there until we got into port pier-side in Bahrain and they used a crane to lift it off and hauled it away on a flatbed trailer. I have a picture somewhere of it.

The this reminded me of another helo incident at Camp Pendleton.   We were doing rope ops from a Huey at Camp Del Mar on the football field (rappelling, fast rope, SPIE).  There was a stick going to rappel and as the Huey was lifting up the rope master on the bird saw someone with Air Force survival knife in a sheath on his hip where he would brake with the rope.  rope master snatches it out of the sheath and throws it out the door of the helo as the helo is hovering and the instead of landing on the ground the up force from the ground affect sent that thing right into the blade.  Definitely have a picture here of this one too. We made a plaque with it for the rope master.

CLANG!!!!!!!  WTF!!!!!!

Helo sits back down and shuts down.  Took a chunk out of the blade and they had to bring in a flatbed and crane, remove the rotor, and truck it back to the airfield.

And a 3rd incident.

We were out on San Clemente Island spotting Naval Gunfire and rode a CH-46 back. Think it's about 30 or 40 miles out.  Land at Camp Del Mar and offload and the helo takes off headed north to El Toro or Tustin and like 5 minutes later crash lands on a side of a hill due to mechanical failure. Luckily none of the crew was seriously hurt.

If we had gone down in the Ocean it would have been bad juju for sure.

Fucking MaxxPros man, they’ll getcha.

So, there I was in the gun turret, in a sorta hodgepodged crew gun truck (E4 driver and E4 Gunner “co” in charge) when the fucking driver tried to murder me by driving through a bunch of wires that went over the wire cutter and wrapped up on my turret.  So I start cursing him, badly, and I climb out to move the wires and the fucking driver keeps driving slowly down the street.  We made it about 100yds before a sergeant in another truck yells at us that “hey wtf is your gunner doing standing on the roof???”

So the driver comes back with he’s an asshole and not lisnteningnto me, I yell at the other truck that The drivers being an asshole and not listening to me.  The sergeant in that truck loses his shit on the radio at both of us and I get back in the turret and the driver and I exchange words again.  Well we decided we were gonna play “I’m not talking to you” the rest of the mission, but on the way back the fucking driver sees a bigass pothole, well he hit that bitch at like 60mph.  I get tossed straight up, hit the top of the birdcage, come back down and break my nose on the butt of my M240B.  We get back to base and I tackled his ass off the hood of the truck as he was coming out the door.  They let us roll around for about 5minutes before several sergeants kicked the shit out of us both and sent us to the medics.

He’s one of my best buds.

I'll be honest... I'm loving this thread, best stuff I've read in a long time...  

One of my 13F’s called for CCA (OH-58’s with hellfires) on a well house being used as a pillbox. 58’s came in on an azimuth of attack right over our position (on the roof of a compound). I looked at the target and then the 58’s and keyed the mode to call for a check fire (to give a safer azimuth of attack). Just as I pushed the button the hellfire gave a sonic crack over our heads as it flew probably 50-75’ over our heads and hit the well house about 150 meters away.

Another was an infantry LT who called in a gun run from an A-10 with some Brrrrrrrt and Ernie. Strafed some 20mm right between him and another one of his platoons.  Oops.


Yet another was one of my jackass Soldiers who was constantly taking his helmet off when in the guard tower at the FOB. We had an MI-17 crash on our FOB (it’s all over YouTube) and he took a 3” rock to the back of the head through the back window of the tower.  Knocked him out cold and he had a nasty gash for a few weeks.

Video...Doty was an idiot and throttled up the aircraft instead of down...but muh hero...

I was taking magazine temperature logs up to the bridge of the USS Missouri when the collision alarm sounded. I looked forward and saw the ass end of a Canadian frigate practically under our bow as it was crossing in front of us. We had been doing close breakaway drills with them and someone fucked up bad. Our ships barely cleared by a few feet. As I walked onto the bridge to drop off the reports, the CO and the XO came running onto the bridge. Everyone was at attention while the captain and the xo screamed and cursed the officer of the deck. It was pretty uncomfortable and strange for all us enlisted guys to witness an O-3 get destroyed like that in front of us. It may not have even been his fault but it didnt matter at that moment. I was happy to get out of there and back to my gun turret to tell the tale of what happened.

While on the way to the Illinois state fair, I stopped by the fence line of the airport to watch a pair of ANG F-16s taxi in. Long story short, one of the ground crew closed the canopy with the boarding ladder still hanging from the canopy sill.

The crew chief could be heard over the fuel trucks and ~200 yards away. Impressive.

First thing that comes to mind is after the box at NTC we tell a private to empty the water cans on the back of the Stryker. He emptied the Water cans alright. And the 2 5 gallon fuel cans. First of all they are shaped different and say fuel on them. Second of all you poured out 10 gallons of jp8 and at no point thought wow this really smells like fuel?

Bradley fighting vehicle, shooting another BFV in the clearing pit with a 7 rd burst.

M1 Abrams barrel smacking a concrete post as it was doing about 35 mph. It was non .mission capable after that.

50 cam barrel launching out of the receiver on first round.

Tank starting a 25,000 acre fire, that crossed a river an burnt part of a town.

Didn't actually see this, but a BFV destroying an apache parked on another range.

M113A3 catching on fire (fuel leak) total loss.

This has Buffalo Soldiers all over it..



"We, ahh, completed that"

More memories... one of our O1’s thought he knew better than the main propulsion control manual, and everybody who was teaching him. So he goes to transfer propulsion from the main gas turbine (MGT) back to the Diesel engine (MDE)... usually done by hitting the MGT stop button and waiting for shaft RPM to slow down from 150 to about half that and then clutch in the idling MDE.

Well ol’ O1 decides to try it in a one hand motion and flicks the MGT Governor/clutch knob through MDE (which in theory should kill the turbine) and then intended to wait for shaft RPM and then flick it back cool guy style to clutch in the MDE.

Well cool guy didn’t account for the idling MDE. All parameters were met for it to clutch in the moment the selector switch went there. So he redlined the shit out of the engine... when we pulled in to Panama they took the cover off the clutch and it fell apart like pizza slices.

Upon return to Honolulu, the upper crankshaft was found to need rebuild, the vertical drive was trashed, and the lower crank was suspected of being trashed too but that would have required complete disassembly and suspending the engine block inside the engine room. They fixed what they could, buttoned it up and sold the ship to Bangladesh like a year later.

Cool guy went on to be a helicopter pilot

I was in from 1980 when we had a blast to 2008 when they sucked the life essence from the guard. I have been in the battalion formation in February that the battalion commander had to apologize for leading the officers, including the chaplain, on a streaking run around the female barracks. It was 28 degrees the night this act was committed. MPs tried to get them to calm down and discreetly go back to their area. They were so belligerent the MP hauled them all in.
This is one of many crazy things I have seen need to write about them some time.

Oh...one more. Gunner on an RG ripped the cover off of an M2 and a section of about 7-10 linked rounds fell off from the top of the vehicle. Landed just right and set one round off. Projectile had enough force to make it about 2 inches into a hesco barrier right between myself and the commanders RTO. Fun times. Would never do it again voluntarily...

Bosun Mate Chief /E7 named Coffee woke a kid in berthing trying to suck his dick. He got walked down the brow in dungarees and got a BCD. Stupid as fuck.

We were told to use transmission fluid on HMMWVs and CUCVs in Germany back when they were all woodland camouflage. It made them look brand new.

Oof; that's up there with forgetting to remove the tail stand when taking a plane off its service jacks.

Not really a screw up, watching an M60 zoom across the desert at NTC dragging an upright port a potty behind it.
Somehow the tank had snagged onto a long row of concertina wire that was close to a port a potty.
Crew was totally unaware.

One of my privates put not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, but 5,  5 fucking 5 gallon cans of water into a big ass commercial generator in Iraq on the FOB.

The contractors wouldn't touch it, but a SEABEE saved our ass and got that thing running again. Once it was running (roughly) the contractors swapped it out.

Just one of many stories with this jackass. We ended up sending him home from Iraq, with an escort, and booted his ass like 2 weeks later.

When we got back, he called my Gunny and asked him why the Marine Corps didn't do his taxes for him. . Gunny near blew a blood vessel in his forehead.

I can still set the now retired MGuns off by mentioning the kid's name 15 years later.

We would order Pizza from dominoes and have them deliver it to us in the field. We would meet them at the old abandoned range control building run out of the wood throw some money at them and run back into the woods..

In his defense...the water was probably in diesel jugs. Seen that before....

Glossing the tire of a motor pool full on M35A2s with brake fluid because the Lt wanted them to look good for a battalion inspection.

Well shit, where do I start?

- My personal best was six weeks into my military career. We were all gathered around the dorm room entrance and talking about our pretty blonde drill instructor. I piped up and started describing in great detail the numerous sexual things I would do to her if I ever had a chance. Little did I know she was listening on the intercom. Her, and all the other drill instructors. She came over the intercom, confirmed it was me, then had me report to the drill instructors breakroom.
- During Gulf War One we were prepping a trailer loaded cluster bombs filled with fire bomb submunitions. We were working in the dark as instructed for our own safety. One of the guys on my crew didn't realize the nut for the arming wire stud on one of the bombs wasn't actually tightening, the stud had come loose so it was actually rotating and slowly coiling the wire, until the fuze went POP! and armed itself.
- I was with some Army guys at an Abrams TAFT site in the Middle East as they warned the foreign military about the need to secure tanks on transporters. Typical for those guys though, they didn't listen. We went off base and came back after 30 minutes just to fund a transporter on the side of the road with a tank next to it...on its side. We made the Arabs pose with us next to the tank.
- I was running an A-10 APU for some loaders so they wouldn't have to drag around support equipment at a base in the US. We had done a few jets when I heard BBBBRRRRRRRR. I looked over at the squadron next door and saw an A-10 as it was settling back on the front gear after firing a few rounds toward the runway. Those loaders never checked to see if there was ammo in the system before running an ops check. Several of them were on the ground holding their ears. A few hundred yards in front of the jet there was dirt flying everywhere.
- I had warned my Arab counterparts about doing F-16 gun spins without verifying the system was empty. A few months into my tour, one of them forgot and fired a few rounds of 20mm into the shelter door. I was at his interrogation while his superiors beat him.
- I watched some loaders accidentally unlock an F-15 pylon before they had equipment under it to catch it. We made them pose for the wall of shame picture.
- I was talking to one of the guys on my crew during a loadout with live nukes (B-61s) in the late 80s in Germany. We had brought the bomb into the shelter and were doing our inspection. My friend was very animated and like to talk with his hands...unfortunately, he had a ratchet and socket in his hand. The socket came off the ratchet and hit the nuke, putting a slight impression in the body. I reported it and within minutes had every important human being was at our shelter, along with EOD and the nuke guys to look over the bomb and ensure it was fine.

The First Sergeant and myself caught 2 soldiers fucking in a water buffalo...top said since you are small enough to pull this off you get to clean and sterilize every water buffalo on the fob...

OH-58 landed on the FOB to FARP and fired a 2.75 rocket just over the perimeter wall heaco’s while taking off.

we had a guy toss a CLU in a trash bag from a COP post, just to be tossed in the burn pit by another Marine.  BC and Company commander loved that one.  Cost a couple guys a stripe.  Fallujah 06

Nope.  Water cans.  They were all sitting there neatly lined up next to the non-running generator.

Plus, a fuel truck came every other day to top off the 50 gallon fuel tank and the kid himself had escorted the fuel truck into the compound on several occasions.  The only instructions the Marines had with regards to the commercial generator was to call the COC if it stopped running. Which, he failed to do after it conked out from the water.  Our Captain was passing by the compound and noticed no lights and no generator.  The kid had no idea why it stopped running.

There's more, so much more.......  like writing out answers on a bubble sheet for a climate survey, misplaced m4, hiding in the bushes from me on the FOB, lurking outside my can in the middle of the night......

Oooopsies!!!

PG rated version, 4 E-3’s who were notorious for disappearing during work (underway at sea) were found playing poker, cards and money and all, multiple decks up inside the mast of the ship.

Didn't witness the event but ended up examining the after math...

3 troops in AIT are in the barracks (open bay) for some reason by themselves.  One troop is laying on his bunk reading a book.  Another troop pulls out a fired 40mm grenade and he and troop # 3 decide to play catch with it in the open middle area of the bay.  After several tosses, one goes wide and troop #3 starts to reach for it but turns away at the last second.  Grenade hits railing of a bunk.... the one the guy is reading on...and detonates.   Reader has head at end of bunk where grenade hits and is DRT.  Troop # 3 is fragged up on side of his body and collapses.

MPs are called and they called EOD...me... because they are scared there might be more UXO.  I try to talk to uninjured troop but he is too freaked out and hysterical to get useful info.  I go in and drag injured troop to the door so medics can tend to him.  Bookworm troop is obviously dead so I do a search for other UXO and find nothing.  Scene clear I turn it back over to the MPs and head back to the unit to try and drink the images away.

Duds are bad, mkay, don't fuck around with them.

That is fucked up..     seriously ...  

I remember in OSUT  we had someone that received some gay porn in a care package. They had his ass cycled out of the company in record time.  

By contrast we had someone who got caught shop lifting at the PX ,  his ass was still mopping floors when we graduated .

We were in the OP at Lancelin training area on the west coast of Australia doing naval gunfire call for fire.  Outside the training area is a wildlife refuge or national park or something, so when the ships shoot they are way off the coast shooting near their maximum range to try to prevent skipped rounds from leaving the impact area.

An Aussie ship was on station and we called for an illum round.

Shot over

Shot out

Splash over

Splash out

We are looking for the illum to pop.  Naddda.  

Dark star repeat over

Ummm, you don't see the illum OP?

Negative on the illum

We see the illum

They somehow had shot 180 degrees from the direction they were supposed to. Luckily that was out to sea.

They went off station and didn't come back

Had a convoy turned around coming to Hutal, the SGT just noticed his M4 was missing.

When they got back to PASAB it was leaned up on a Hesco where his MAXXpro was parked.

Poor guy got relieved and was the mayor cell slave for the rest of the deployment.

Got sent to recruiting and made E6, not sure if he ever made E7.

Had a guy in the SF pipeline and was waiting to get on a team, this dumbass he was with somehow managed to get a 9mm round through both knees. Both of 'em, one shot, one kill. He happened to be there at the time and when those EMTs got there, oh boy, they were retarded. The guy had to basically walk them through basic first aid and how to stop bleeding. Finally just snatched the crap out their hands in the ambulance and took care of it himself. My guy had to wait outside while the docs took care of this stud, but I'm sure with his knowledge he just told them to fuck off and fixed himself up. From what I heard later, the dude was a total badass. I think he deployed a couple times on teams after that without finishing the SF pipeline. Have to be pretty worthwhile to deploy with an SF team and not be tabbed.

DULL SWORD?

We were in transitional tents, rotating out. Dude from 82nd busts into tent, yells, has anyone found an m 4, then runs off. Left it in a shitter, TCNs found it, an gave it to red badge guard detail..poor fucker...lol

Well I obviously didnt witness the actual event but I did witness the destruction still evident 50 years later (I visited there in early 90's).
For biggest military screw up, I nominate the Port Chicago disaster in Concord, California.

Its the one where the white Navy officers had a contest going to see which one of their groups of black sailors could load the most ammo when they were on duty.
The resulting explosion killed 320 and injured 390, the two navy ships being loaded disappeared and a Coast Guard fire boat was blown 600 feet away.  
The town of Port Chicago was wiped off the map, only the concrete foundations were left.
The explosion registered 3.4 on a Richter scale at UC Berkeley.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Port_Chicago_disaster

I remember the time Sgt Hulka was injured on the obstacle course  when the confidence tower was blown up by a mortar round.  

I found an M9 in a porta john at JRTC. Picked it up and took it back to our tent. Platoon Sergeant had the roster of weapon serials and who they were assigned to. It was our 1st Sergeant. I surrender it to my PS, 1SG ends up going back to Carson for "medical reasons". She ended up going somewhere else shortly after we got back.

Me, when they were trying to give me lessons on how to drive a deuce truck in Korea.

Backstory: I am not a standard transmission guy to begin with.  Trucks?  Oh HELL no.

All I can say is "that poor truck transmission."

Well, they never asked me to drive the deuce again after THAT.

Snip

Ha!

Had a FEX where the 'white hats' didn't check the weather when they dropped some CS grenades. Our FOB was ---maybe--- a couple hundred meters from a 2 lane state highway (the north side of the training area). I watched the cloud drift over the camp and continue... I didn't hear anything later until about 16months later at the next FEX: no CS was dropped (white smoke only). I asked a white hat why the CS wasn't bothering anyone.

Apparently, the CS clouds slowly choked out the 2 lane highway, and reeled in a some civvies driving by. CS still isn't used at FEXs there.

Misread

My dad filled a truck with the wrong fuel.  He lost some weekend passes for that one.
The next month he was in barracks and his buddy was playing with his .45. Twirling it back and forth, being a cowboy.  Dad ignored it. Dude ended up sending a round through his own head.  
They questioned my dad for hours. He was reading a book when it happened.
They put him on some shit detail because he should have stopped it.

Dads ears rang ever since that day.  He got VA disability for that. Jokes on them.

Eeeeeeee