Restroom Poetry > General Discussion

Posted: 2/3/2004 5:55:14 AM EDT

Here I sit
Cheeks a flexn'
Just gave birth
To another Texan

I love you guys. Really, I do. Just couldn't NOT pass this one on.

Posted: 2/3/2004 6:01:43 AM EDT

[#1]

Here I sit upon my throne,
Shit out my ass
piss out my bone.

Posted: 2/3/2004 6:12:10 AM EDT

[#2]

On day in the stall I saw a note way towards the front of the stall. SO I leaned over to read it and it said "You are now shitting at a 45 degree angle"

I actually let out a chuckle at that one.

Sgtar15

Posted: 2/3/2004 6:16:56 AM EDT

[#3]

He who writes on bathroom walls,

Shits his shit in little balls.

He who reads this word of wit,

Eats those little balls of shit.

Posted: 2/3/2004 6:21:22 AM EDT

[#4]

Seen on the wall in a Auburn watering hole:

[b][size=6][red]I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER!![/b][/size=6][/red]

Below it:

[size=1]Go home Dad, you're drunk.[/size=1]

Posted: 2/3/2004 6:22:34 AM EDT

[#5]

Here I sit,
brokenhearted
Tried to shit,
but only farted.

Posted: 2/3/2004 6:28:29 AM EDT

[#6]

They paint these walls,
To stop my pen.
The shithouse poet,
Strikes again!

Posted: 2/3/2004 6:35:09 AM EDT

[#7]

written high up on the wall ...

"It's no use standing on the seat,
The crabs in here can jump ten feet."

Posted: 2/3/2004 6:42:16 AM EDT

[#8]

No matter how much
you shake and dance,
The last drops goin'
in your pants.

The world says,
"Get used to it",
But at least you'll tell them
you gave a shit!

Posted: 2/3/2004 6:51:09 AM EDT

[#9]

From some stall in Maine!

I sit on the Pooper
Giving birth to a State Trooper!!!

Posted: 2/3/2004 6:58:14 AM EDT

[#10]

Here I sit, in fumes and vapor
Waiting for, some toilet paper
How much longer, must I linger
Before I am forced, to use my finger

Posted: 2/3/2004 7:08:41 AM EDT

[#11]

Here I stand with downcast glance,
tried to fart and shit my pants.

Another version of one:

Here I sit brokenhearted,
paid my dime and only farted.

Posted: 2/3/2004 7:17:15 AM EDT

[#12]

Here I sit all broken hearted
came to sh*t but only farted
wasted a dime
oh what the hell
I think i'll just sit and enjoy the smell

Posted: 2/3/2004 7:22:51 AM EDT

[#13]

Some people come to sit and think.
Others come to shit and stink.
I just come to scratch my balls,
And read the writings on the walls.

Posted: 2/3/2004 7:24:40 AM EDT

[#14]

I wonder if writing on stall walls is just a guy thing, or women do it too.

Posted: 2/3/2004 7:27:15 AM EDT

[#15]

[rofl]

Posted: 2/3/2004 7:46:06 AM EDT

[#16]

Some come here to sit and queef, I come here to stroke my beef

More than two shakes and you're playing with it

Posted: 2/3/2004 8:02:22 AM EDT

[#17]

Here I sit, broken-hearted
paid my dime and only farted.
Yesterday I took a chance
saved my dime and shit my pants!

Posted: 2/3/2004 9:14:18 AM EDT

[#18]

"Peals of laughter, tears of joy,
I was here before Kilroy"

to which was added ...

"Alas my friend, before you spoke,
Kilroy was here, but his pencil broke"

Posted: 2/3/2004 9:15:09 AM EDT

[#19]

If you want to take a shit with ease...
Just rest your elbows on your knees...
Then just give a gentle squeeze...
And out it comes like rotten cheese.

I saw this about 20 years ago and have never forgotten it. Don't know why...

Posted: 2/3/2004 9:27:18 AM EDT

[#20]

One here in the library says "Nuke gay whales for a better tomorrow" written on the wall.

I laugh every time I read it.

Posted: 2/3/2004 9:34:07 AM EDT

[#21]

Saw this one in Colorado:

"Here I sit
Feelin super
Just gave birth
To a CO state trooper"

Posted: 2/3/2004 9:39:59 AM EDT

[#22]

Here's two of my favorites.

1) If you voted for Hillary Clinton, you can't
shit here....your asshole is in Washington.

2) Dear Chelsea, One good turd deserves
another...between my legs hangs your mother.

Posted: 2/3/2004 9:45:51 AM EDT

[#23]

Saw this written well off to the side of a urinal...

"If you're drunk and can read this, you are now pissing on the wall"

Posted: 2/3/2004 9:53:32 AM EDT

[#24]

You shithouse poets
are sons-of bitches
While I was reading your pen
I shit in my britches

Posted: 2/3/2004 12:46:42 PM EDT

[#25]

Piss here
Piss clear
and shake your spear
Shakespear

Posted: 2/3/2004 12:49:39 PM EDT

[#26]

He who stands with cock in hand and pisses on the seat,
Should be hit with a sock full of shit and his ass thrown on the street.

(Written high up on the wall)
If you can piss above this line,
The the fire department wants you.

Posted: 2/3/2004 12:56:13 PM EDT

[#27]

Seen on a bathroom stall at Ft. Knox 1973:

Paid your dime
Take your time
Pretend it's something to die for
For you are giving birth to a lifer

Tj

Posted: 2/3/2004 1:12:13 PM EDT

[#28]

tagged [:D]

Posted: 2/3/2004 1:18:42 PM EDT

[#29]

[size=3]Here I come to rest my balls
and ready the shit upon the walls.[/size=3]

Posted: 2/3/2004 1:27:01 PM EDT

[#30]

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose dick was so long he could suckit,
As he wiped off his chin,
He said with a grin,
"If my ear were a cunt I would fuck it!"

Posted: 2/3/2004 1:27:53 PM EDT

[#31]

I have shit in England
I have shit in France
Before I shit here again
I'll shit in my pants.

Posted: 2/3/2004 1:38:31 PM EDT

[#32]

Pity the man
whose poetic wit,
Is brought to the surface
by the smell of shit.

Posted: 2/3/2004 1:51:17 PM EDT

[#33]

"I want to pjork Bjork". Funnier with the matching umlauts.

Posted: 2/3/2004 2:23:29 PM EDT

[#34]

Bahaha. funny stuff. BTT.

Posted: 2/3/2004 5:33:07 PM EDT

[#35]

Saw this one in a stall that was ridden with political ramblings back and forth:

"If you're taking a shit, don't write stuff about politics, write stuff about shit!"

Posted: 2/3/2004 5:59:38 PM EDT

[#36]

Wie Adolf Hitler
sitz ich hier:
Die braune Masse
unter mir.

Posted: 2/3/2004 6:01:05 PM EDT

[#37]

In a ladies room at the Marina in San Francisco:

"If we all just sat down, the damned seat wouldn't *be* wet!"

Posted: 2/3/2004 6:39:30 PM EDT

[#38]

(Written high on the wall)...What are you looking up here for..The joke is in your hand!

Posted: 2/3/2004 6:58:26 PM EDT

[#39]

Above the urinal in a local volunteer fire department:

If your hose is too short
Or your pump is too weak
Stand a little closer
Or you'll piss on your feet.

Posted: 2/3/2004 7:17:04 PM EDT

[#40]

Cat's ass, rat's ass, dirty old twat.
69 douche bags tied in a knot.

Cocksuck, Motherfuck, Dick Lick, too.
I'm a U.S. Serviceman, who the fuck are you?

[shock] [;D] [LOL]

Posted: 2/3/2004 9:16:13 PM EDT

[#41]

From a college dorm.....
Flush twice.....it is a long way to the kitchen.

Posted: 2/3/2004 9:27:04 PM EDT

[#42]

I think we all need to go in 1 public restroom and write "Fuck You Arock" on the wall.

Posted: 2/3/2004 10:28:51 PM EDT

[#43]

Quoted:
Here I sit
Cheeks a flexn'
Just gave birth
To another Texan

[:D]

I love you guys. Really, I do. Just couldn't NOT pass this one on. [}:D]

View Quote

Nope- it's

Here I sit
my buns a flexin'
giving birth to
another mexican

*****

you can squeeze it
you can shake it-
bang it against the wall...
but you always have to wait,
for that last damn drop to fall

oh yeah- who could forget:

In the day of old
when men were bold
and rubbers weren't yet invented-

they wrapped a leaf
around their beef
and babies were prevented.

Posted: 2/4/2004 4:33:35 AM EDT

[#44]

Written next to the large, industrial toilet paper roll in a roadside rest somewhere in the Midwest:

"This is John Wayne Toilet Paper
Its rough,
Its tough,
And it don't take no shit off anyone!"

Dave

Posted: 2/4/2004 7:09:14 AM EDT

[#45]

Here I sit all broken hearted,
Tried to shit but only farted.
Since I couldn't get it started,
I quickly wiped and then departed.

Posted: 2/4/2004 7:19:26 AM EDT

[#46]

If you took a poop, please put it back.

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