Four guys who worked together always golfed as a group at 7:00 am on Sunday.

Unfortunately, one of them got transferred out of town, and they were talking about trying to fill out the foursome.

A woman standing near the tee said, "Hey, I like to golf. May I join the group? They were hesitant, but said she could come once to try it and they would see what they thought. They all agreed, and she said "Good, I'll be
there at 6:30 or 6:45."

She showed up right at 6:30 and wound up setting a course record under par. The guys went nuts, and everyone in the clubhouse congratulated her.

Meanwhile, she was fun and pleasant the entire round. The guys happily invited her back the next week, and she said, "Sure, I'll be here at 6:30 or 6:45."

Again, she showed up at 6:30 Sunday morning. Only this time, she played left-handed and matched her under score of the previous week.

By now the guys were totally amazed, and they asked her to join the group for keeps. They had a beer after their round and one of the guys asked her, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right and left-handed for the day?"

She said, "That's easy. Before I leave for the golf course, I pull the cover sheet off my husband who sleeps in the nude. If his "you-know-what if is pointing to the right, I golf right-handed; if it's pointing to the left,
I golf left-handed."

One of the guys asked, "What if it's pointed straight up?"

She said, "Then I'll be here at 6:45

Alright-

So Jesus and Moses are playing golf.  Moses tees off first and hits a beautiful drive 300yds down the fairway just off the lip of the green.  When it comes time for Jesus to tee, he slices the ball directly into the trees where the ball comes to rest in a bird's nest.  A bird comes by, picks the ball up and drops it on the fairway.  A hedgehog comes out of his hole, sees the ball, picks it up in his mouth and drops it on the green.  Right then a huge gust of wind blows through and knocks the ball into the cup.  Moses looks over at Jesus and says:

"You gonna fuck around all day, or are we going to play golf?"