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Posted: 9/11/2017 2:37:17 PM EDT

[#1]

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Quoted:
It also gave everyone cancer

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The nuclear fallout was just the blameless scapegoat.

Posted: 9/11/2017 2:43:23 PM EDT

[#2]

"Condorman" which came out very early 80's I think.

I Loved that movie. This was Disney's attempt to compete with Marvel/DC with their own superhero movies after Superman came out as a success. Movie was a total flop.

Posted: 9/11/2017 3:15:55 PM EDT

[#3]

Rubber

Posted: 9/11/2017 3:21:40 PM EDT

[#4]

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Quoted:
Megaforce

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Damn it, beat me to it.

Posted: 9/11/2017 3:46:02 PM EDT

[#5]

Quote History

Quoted:
Remo Williams - The Adventure Begins. A South Korean unwritten flick, thankfully no follow up sequel was made and it ended right there.

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HORRIABLE movie, MASSIVE plot holes. but had like 900 books in a series (that were all just about as bad as the movie)

Posted: 9/11/2017 4:00:25 PM EDT

[#6]

Posted: 9/11/2017 4:02:54 PM EDT

[#7]

Quote History

Quoted:
Flesh Gordon

Barberella

A Boy and his Dog

Damnation Alley

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Actually a pretty good movie. the final scene had me laughing so hard it hurt.

Posted: 9/11/2017 4:07:52 PM EDT

[#8]

Quote History

Quoted:
Kuffs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sr4TF6zT9xM

Staring Christian Slater.

Plot is that Slater has a brother who was a Special Police Officer for San Francisco (LONG COMPLICATED THING IN REALITY) and gets killed. Slater takes up the business and goes after the bad guys in typical late 80s humorous action film format. It attempted to be a White Man's Beverly Hills cop and sucked.

Only reason why I remember it is because of math. Cop has five subjects at gun point with a shotgun. One thug says "that shotgun only holds four rounds." Cops shoots thug and say "who wants to be number three." Or some shit like that.

Also a lot of breaking the fourth wall.

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" I want a big gun that holds a lot of bullets..."
" here is the bretta 92 sir, holds 15 plus 1.. "
"ill take 2"

Posted: 9/11/2017 4:18:03 PM EDT

[#9]

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Quoted:
It also gave everyone cancer

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Everyone smoking 4 packs of day of cigarettes that, if they were filtered, had asbestos in the filter might, just MIGHT, have had something to do with that ....

Posted: 9/11/2017 4:21:32 PM EDT

[#10]

Posted: 9/11/2017 4:31:32 PM EDT

[#11]

Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man

Posted: 9/11/2017 5:44:04 PM EDT

[#12]

Xanadu

Michael Beck once said doing The Warriors opened a lot of doors for him, then doing Xanadu slammed them all shut again.

Posted: 9/11/2017 5:47:28 PM EDT

[#13]

There was this one a few years back where a crippled guy goes to space and turns into a blue alien. Was completely shitty, can't remember the title.

Quote History

Quoted:
"Condorman" which came out very early 80's I think.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wn7yDHRmDzk/UR7qUW5MgAI/AAAAAAAAA6g/5A1KjYWoF0Y/s1600/Condorman.jpg

I Loved that movie. This was Disney's attempt to compete with Marvel/DC with their own superhero movies after Superman came out as a success. Movie was a total flop.

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I loved how the bad guys all had Porsche 911s.

Posted: 9/11/2017 5:57:17 PM EDT

[#14]

This many pages in and not a single mention of the biggest pile of crap ever put on film after being adapted from an even bigger pile of steaming written crap.

Battlefield Earth (2000) Official Trailer #1 - John Travolta Movie HD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhNuXvlCTTc

Posted: 9/11/2017 8:53:27 PM EDT

[#15]

Quote History

Quoted:
This many pages in and not a single mention of the biggest pile of crap ever put on film after being adapted from an even bigger pile of steaming written crap.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhNuXvlCTTc

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Not a movie that no one remembers.

Posted: 9/11/2017 10:12:15 PM EDT

[#16]

Quote History

Quoted:
Not a movie that no one remembers.

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Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
This many pages in and not a single mention of the biggest pile of crap ever put on film after being adapted from an even bigger pile of steaming written crap.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhNuXvlCTTc

Not a movie that no one remembers.

I forget about as often as I can until one of these turd movie threads pop up. It deserves to be in every bad, aweful, shitty, worst movie list in existence.

Posted: 9/12/2017 1:31:46 AM EDT

[#17]

Teenage Caveman -- the 2002 version, there's one from the 50s with the same title.

I ran across it late night on some random satellite channel, and it's a very WTF version of softcore porn meets snuff film.
One of the lead actresses was the director's girlfriend at the time, so you can count on quality right there. It has a couple
"scanners" moments if you know what I mean.

Really bizarre, really low budget, and I've yet to meet a person who remembers or has heard of it.

Posted: 9/12/2017 3:30:49 AM EDT

[#18]

All of this cheesy 80's shit and no mention of Joe Bob Briggs Drive In Theater???
I like many of the films posted.
Cool thing is that back then, these movies were known to almost everybody, as they were shown just as much(if you had satellite) as the "popular" shit like Teen Wolf, 16 Candles, etc.
I'll add;
The Toxic Avenger
Metal Storm The Destruction of Jared Sin
The Wraith
The Friday the 13th movies.
Flash Gordon
Some Kind of Wonderful
RAD
DARYL

Posted: 9/12/2017 3:37:26 AM EDT

[#19]

Barbarella.

The only redeeming part of this disaster of a movie is that it starred Hanoi Jane, allowing me to conjure up Barbarella Jane every time I see her traitorous face in my world.

Posted: 9/12/2017 3:46:28 AM EDT

[#20]

Barbarella sexy time

Posted: 9/12/2017 3:46:47 AM EDT

[#21]

Quote History

Quoted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kQDIosuZuo

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I kinda liked that
movie back in the day.

Posted: 9/12/2017 3:48:01 AM EDT

[#22]

Posted: 9/12/2017 3:48:35 AM EDT

[#23]

Spaced Invaders. I loved the movie when it came out on video in 1993, IIRC. Laughed till I cried. I watched it again a while back and it is not so funny now

Posted: 9/12/2017 8:11:57 AM EDT

[#24]

Quote History

Quoted:
Everyone smoking 4 packs of day of cigarettes that, if they were filtered, had asbestos in the filter might, just MIGHT, have had something to do with that ....

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Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
It also gave everyone cancer

Everyone smoking 4 packs of day of cigarettes that, if they were filtered, had asbestos in the filter might, just MIGHT, have had something to do with that ....

I'm not talking about the cast..... I mean the fans. It gave them all cancer.

Posted: 9/12/2017 8:26:13 AM EDT

[#25]

Quote History

Quoted:
The Green Slime
from IMDB reviews...
The Best Lousy Movie I've Ever Seen
8 July 1999 | by Bill Slater (Las Vegas, Nevada) – See all my reviews
You have GOT to see this movie to believe it. The music is better (or cheesier) than Austin Powers (Whammy bar electric guitars twang along while a pretentious singer who sounds like Elvis on Ludes wails "Green SLIME! Green Slime!") Richard Jaeckal (of The Dirty Dozen fame) is unintentionally hilarious as the space station Rambo. He grits his teeth every time the camera is on him (no exaggeration!) But the stars of this movie have to be the one-piece, rubber suited, one-eyed monsters with the electric touch. I saw this when I was 15, and I still remember laughing at them, and at the space station hanging on its wires, burning in space (The flames and smoke RISE UP...in space, get it?) All in all, a spectacularly bad movie...so bad its great.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g79_ljVC5Wk

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LOFL, one of the first movies I saw as a kid in our little theater in our podunk town. Scared the hell out of me. When I watched it later as a grown up, I couldn't stop laughing.

LC

Posted: 9/12/2017 12:08:21 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
They were especially bad but possessed some odd sense of endearment (in a cringeworthy way) if you noticed them.

I submit "Born American" circa 1986.

I was 10 and my parents took me to see it in the theater

It was still the cold war and I remember seeing the trailer and thinking it was going to be another Red Dawn. Came away from it disappointed. It did star Chuck Norris's son though.

Plot: A couple of guys slip across the Russian border in search of shenanigans and end up in a gulag -- more or less.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOV3goMZNQQ

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I remember this movie, OP. I really thought the first half was very good and set up a story that allowed some Americans to uncover a criminal raping girls in the remote Soviet north. A great cold war mystery/thriller in the making.

HOWEVER, they didn't take the movie in that direction. The second half is this horrid action movie that's so over the top my eyes locked in full eye roll mode for two days.

Posted: 9/12/2017 12:11:34 PM EDT

[#27]

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Quoted:
TURK182

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forgot all about that one...

Posted: 9/12/2017 12:55:05 PM EDT

[#28]

I submit "Howard's End".

An absolutely worthless story. It's incredibly written and acted, but completely about the wrong thing. It is a complete waste of talent, time, and money. Should be simply called "Rich people amuse themselves". It would be a good 5-minute short film but an egregiously long and pointless story as a feature. I saw it in a theater and I wanted to walk out about 10 times but my date wanted to stay.

It won several Oscars. So yeah, it was famous at the time. But I cannot find anyone that really remembers it well, if at all. And the ones that do remember it, cannot recall who the characters were, what the plot was, or any dialogue. It's that turdtastic. It's a non-movie. It's a pastiche of pretentiousness, that is all.

Seriously, it's a movie that actually makes me angry that it was made. I'll take any Golan/Globus or Troma crapfest over Howard's End.

Merchant Ivory's HOWARDS END (4K Restoration) | Official US Trailer | Academy Award Winner

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNJdbu4p1Fg

Posted: 9/12/2017 12:56:28 PM EDT

[#29]

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Quoted:
Isaac Asimov wrote a novella called Nightfall. He later (long after the movie) expanded it into a full blown novel.

The premise is that near the galaxy's core there's a planet in a system with 6 suns, and it's never night there. Once every few thousand years all the suns leave the sky, and it gets dark. Their civilization is only a few thousand years old, built upon the remains of 6 or so previous civilizations, all destroyed by fire and no one knows why.

From that basic premise, the following steaming pile of offal was created. This is one of the very few movies I've ever demanded my money back for.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ly25fD8f2JY

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Read Nightfall. Great book.

Never knew they tried to make a movie out of it.

Looks like it should have been called something else.

Posted: 9/12/2017 1:04:58 PM EDT

[#30]

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Quoted:
Red Sonja

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Oh come on, it's not that bad. A good solid 80's sword and sorcery flick. Basically a Schwarzenegger Conan movie by another name. Also, Brigitte Nielsen was pretty hot back in the day.

Posted: 9/12/2017 1:10:40 PM EDT

[#31]

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Quoted:

What, are you saying that "You skin that smokepole!" is NOT great classic cinema???

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I think it's "smoke wagon" but I can see where your mind is!

Posted: 9/12/2017 1:16:32 PM EDT

[#32]

Posted: 9/12/2017 1:17:32 PM EDT

[#33]

Quote History

Quoted:

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/71/Dune_%281984_Film%29.jpg/220px-Dune_%281984_Film%29.jpg

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Naw, man! Dune is awesome! One of me and my wife's favorite sci-fi flicks! The soundtrack is killer.

Posted: 9/12/2017 1:41:42 PM EDT

[#34]

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Quoted:

Naw, man! Dune is awesome! One of me and my wife's favorite sci-fi flicks! The soundtrack is killer.

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I actually like the David Lynch Dune movie as well. It's not perfect, but it is pretty good.

It is by will alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of Sapho that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.

Posted: 9/12/2017 5:23:18 PM EDT

[#35]

when I was a kid my parents had HBO and we lived outside of town. When you are young, with nobody home in the summer and can't really leave your small neighborhood you watch a lot of movies.

There was this movie that was terrible but I watched it all the time. I think it was called Looker for some reason. They had a ray gun of some sort that could stop time. Anyone remember this? It's getting less in my memory all the time but I'd sure like
to find it again.

Posted: 9/12/2017 5:34:35 PM EDT

[#36]

Quote History

Quoted:
when I was a kid my parents had HBO and we lived outside of town. When you are young, with nobody home in the summer and can't really leave your small neighborhood you watch a lot of movies.

There was this movie that was terrible but I watched it all the time. I think it was called Looker for some reason. They had a ray gun of some sort that could stop time. Anyone remember this? It's getting less in my memory all the time but I'd sure like
to find it again.

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With Albert Finney. Yeah, HBO wore that one out in the 1980s.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082677

Posted: 9/12/2017 5:43:52 PM EDT

[#37]

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Quoted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmsly1UOeMk

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Holy shit, is that Artie Lange?

Posted: 9/12/2017 5:49:07 PM EDT

[#38]

Quote History

Quoted:
All of this cheesy 80's shit and no mention of Joe Bob Briggs Drive In Theater???
I like many of the films posted.
Cool thing is that back then, these movies were known to almost everybody, as they were shown just as much(if you had satellite) as the "popular" shit like Teen Wolf, 16 Candles, etc.
I'll add;
The Toxic Avenger
Metal Storm The Destruction of Jared Sin
The Wraith
The Friday the 13th movies.
Flash Gordon
Some Kind of Wonderful
RAD
DARYL

View Quote

I have a DVD of that. Best movie with Charlie Sheen AND Randy Quaid in the cast.

Posted: 9/12/2017 6:02:41 PM EDT

[#39]

Quote History

Quoted:
The Green Slime
from IMDB reviews...
The Best Lousy Movie I've Ever Seen
8 July 1999 | by Bill Slater (Las Vegas, Nevada) – See all my reviews
You have GOT to see this movie to believe it. The music is better (or cheesier) than Austin Powers (Whammy bar electric guitars twang along while a pretentious singer who sounds like Elvis on Ludes wails "Green SLIME! Green Slime!") Richard Jaeckal (of The Dirty Dozen fame) is unintentionally hilarious as the space station Rambo. He grits his teeth every time the camera is on him (no exaggeration!) But the stars of this movie have to be the one-piece, rubber suited, one-eyed monsters with the electric touch. I saw this when I was 15, and I still remember laughing at them, and at the space station hanging on its wires, burning in space (The flames and smoke RISE UP...in space, get it?) All in all, a spectacularly bad movie...so bad its great.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g79_ljVC5Wk

View Quote

True story:
I saw The Green Slime at the local theater with some friends.
At one point, the slime was attacking and many in the audience were yelling at the screen for the actor to "shoot it in the eye", because we had all figured out that was the only way to kill it.
One of our group stood up and SCREAMED, "Shoot it in the balls!"
I have never seen the end of the movie