Fizzle my shanizzle, dat bes funny shiznit
FORT WORTH, Texas (LBC) -- It came down Chante Mallard's conduct after da fact, both prosecuting 'n defense attorneys be like Saturday after da 27-year-old former nurse's aide wuz sentenced 50 years in da cage fo' hitting a homeless mutha wit her hooptie 'n leaving tha dude's ass die still embedded in da windshield, know what I'm sayin'? A Texas jury found Mallard guilty of murder Thursday after deliberating fo' less than an hour, know what I'm sayin'? A tearful Mallard testified in da sentencing phase, apologizing Brandon Biggs, son of da mutha brizzle capped, 'n her own family, but da jury wuz not swayed 'n returned da stiff sentence n' shit. "I think that shiznit wuz hella fair based upon da facts 'n da evidence da jury heard," prosecutor Richard Albert told LBC, know what I'm sayin'? Defense attorney Jeff Kearney be like da defense team "did everything we could do n' shit. This wuz just a case where da jury wuz not ready accept her conduct 'n punished her severely fo' that shiznit." " Mallard struck Gregory Biggs, 37, in da early morning hours of October 26, 2001, then drove crib 'n parked da hooptie in her garage wit Biggs, bleeding death, trapped in da windshield." After Biggs died, Mallard, an ex-boyfriend 'n a cousin dumped tha dude's body in a nearby park, where authorities found that shiznit da next day." Mallard wuz not arrested until March Two Thousand 'n '02 when a tip pointed fuzz her in connection wit da unsolved death n' shit. Prosecutors contended her lack of action after striking Biggs 'n her actions after tha dude died constituted murder, while da defense argued that Mallard, high on doobies 'n alcohol, panicked 'n made poor choices, know what I'm sayin'? Kearney be like da defense had been prepared fo' a lengthy sentence, but had hoped da jury would give Mallard a chance at parole early 'nuff " allow her some kind of meaningful life." " Instead, Mallard is not eligible fo' parole until brizzle has served 25 years." "We presented numerous evidence 'n witnesses show brizzle did has strong community support," tha dude be like n' shit. "She did has da ability come back out 'n has a meaningful life, know what I'm sayin'? " But Albert be like that "some crimes are just so outrageous that giving someone a chance rehabilitate is just not going occur a jury." " "More damaging wuz just da way her life went back normal a week later," tha dude be like n' shit. "She's going back da same club, gots a new boyfriend n' shit. It wuz just shocking, know what I'm sayin'? " Kearney be like tha dude's client wuz "a person who had a whole lot of gravy in her but did something really horrible." "The jury probably recognized that shiznit, but her conduct ." .. wuz so compelling da jury they just couldn't get over that shiznit," tha dude be like, know what I'm sayin'?