Posted: 9/4/2016 9:09:03 PM EDT
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My mom recently passed and we are making the plans for the funeral. Prior to the mass (Catholic Service) we are having the viewing although she is cremated. I expected during that time that my wife would sit next to me as people come up to pay their condolences. I have family members with some very strong feelings regarding this and they believe that my wife should not be up there due to tradition and that would also put her before other blood relatives. I guess they have it in their heads that there is some weird order that has to be followed and cannot be broken. Is that correct? It would seem to me that spouses would sit next to the children of the deceased for support but everyone is acting like my wife is not supposed to be there. I have never heard of this and wanted to hear from others if this is the huge violation everyone is making it out to be.... |
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Quoted: Sorry for your loss OP, it is almost a year since mine passed. With that said, I think your wife should sit with up with you too. I absolutely hate this process. It has brought out the worst in people and one person has hijacked the whole thing to obviously show they care more than everyone else. It has basically been theater of the highest order by a person that believes they are the only one grieving. It has become less about my mother than it has about that particular person. |
Haha, that made my day! It's funny because it's true. |
Lurch's Rule for Funerals: No matter what you do at a funeral, someone in the family will get upset. Call and notify 20 people of the death? Some people will get upset they weren't called. Just do what you want. If someone doesn't like it, that's their problem. And I think the husband/wife should sit together. |
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Quoted:
Thank you, and I am sorry about yours. I haven't ever lost anyone close to me so it has been difficult. I absolutely hate this process. It has brought out the worst in people and one person has hijacked the whole thing to obviously show they care more than everyone else. It has basically been theater of the highest order by a person that believes they are the only one grieving. It has become less about my mother than it has about that particular person. Quoted:
Quoted:
Sorry for your loss OP, it is almost a year since mine passed. With that said, I think your wife should sit with up with you too. I absolutely hate this process. It has brought out the worst in people and one person has hijacked the whole thing to obviously show they care more than everyone else. It has basically been theater of the highest order by a person that believes they are the only one grieving. It has become less about my mother than it has about that particular person. I feel doubly for you, OP. Been there/done that, as they say. You do what YOU feel right about during this time. Your conscience should be clear at the end. What others do, shows. Believe me. What you do, which is right, shows too. Believe me, again. You'll be Ok. May not feel like it right now, takes time, it's natures process. Just do what YOU know is right... |
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Quoted:
My mom recently passed and we are making the plans for the funeral. Prior to the mass (Catholic Service) we are having the viewing although she is cremated. I expected during that time that my wife would sit next to me as people come up to pay their condolences. I have family members with some very strong feelings regarding this and they believe that my wife should not be up there due to tradition and that would also put her before other blood relatives. I guess they have it in their heads that there is some weird order that has to be followed and cannot be broken. Is that correct? It would seem to me that spouses would sit next to the children of the deceased for support but everyone is acting like my wife is not supposed to be there. I have never heard of this and wanted to hear from others if this is the huge violation everyone is making it out to be.... I swear I hate people. Wife should be next to you. |