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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:12:00 AM EDT
[#1]
Quoted:
When I was 19 and in the army (in germany) I always said I was going to tour the USA when I got back home. Of course, I never did and now, at 45 , it's my biggest regret. Like so many others, I got out of the army, went to college, got a job, got married, had kids and have been tied down ever since. My son is 13 now and I told him that I want him to find a friend or group of friends who, upon graduating high school, will hike the Appalachian trail. I've told him that I will provide him with gear and mail him money, food, wellness packages, whatever. He just needs to do it, see the east coast, and discover himself. Then he'll have a story to tell for his entire life and will see other parts of the US. My wife, and this is no lie, has never left home. She went to a local nursing school and lived at home during that time, then when we got married we bought land from her parents and built a house "on the farm". Her parents are our next door neighbors. Aside from typical tourist destinations while on vacations she has never seen anything outside of the area and has no idea of how diverse the US can be geographically and culturally. This lack of experience makes her hate what I'm asking my son to do out of fear. As I've grown I've watched older coworkers talk sadly about their kids leaving the house and going off to college. Then those kids get a job and that's it. Would anyone else consider doing this or asking your kid to do it? How cool would it be if 5 years from now a group of arfcom kids met up at the trailhead and started their adult lives with a great adventure? Does he want to do it? |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:15:58 AM EDT
[#2]
He's 13. He only wants to play minecraft and watch youtube. I have 5 years to break that habit.
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:18:06 AM EDT
[#3]
He would probably have more fun backpacking around Europe for a month or two.
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:18:41 AM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
He's 13. He only wants to play minecraft and watch youtube. I have 5 years to break that habit. Sounds like YOU and some buddies should hike the trail. It sounds like your dream not his. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:20:32 AM EDT
[#5]
It would be awesome I'd encourage it.
On my bucket list |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:21:38 AM EDT
[#6]
I would certainly support such an adventure, but he's got to choose it.
Sounds like you're trying to relive your past through him. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:21:47 AM EDT
[#7]
Maybe you should try to swing a 3-7 day trip with just the two of you first. That way you get to experience it, it's time spent together, and it could spark his interest.
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:22:11 AM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
He's 13. He only wants to play minecraft and watch youtube. I have 5 years to break that habit. Lol. Fuck hiking. Get him some pussy. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:22:45 AM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sounds like YOU and some buddies should hike the trail. It sounds like your dream not his. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
He's 13. He only wants to play minecraft and watch youtube. I have 5 years to break that habit. Sounds like YOU and some buddies should hike the trail. It sounds like your dream not his. This. Why try to force him to do something he doesn't want to do. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:23:21 AM EDT
[#10]
hike with group of pussy
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:23:33 AM EDT
[#11]
Don't tell him. Show him.
It sounds like all you're doing is foisting your regrets on him. You want your kid to do the things you wish you had done. Sorry, but that dog won't hunt. YOU need to do the things that YOU wish you had done . . . and involve your son in these activities. Maybe he'll get the bug. Hiking the the entire trail is a bit optimistic. Start taking hikes in your own area. Bring him along. Maybe take up geocaching and do it together. See where it goes. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:24:22 AM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I would certainly support such an adventure, but he's got to choose it. Sounds like you're trying to relive your past through him. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:24:25 AM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sounds like YOU and some buddies should hike the trail. It sounds like your dream not his. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
He's 13. He only wants to play minecraft and watch youtube. I have 5 years to break that habit. Sounds like YOU and some buddies should hike the trail. It sounds like your dream not his. Why not let him find his own "Appalachian trail" and support that? Making him do something you didn't won't work. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:24:28 AM EDT
[#14]
Get him a dirt bike, and get you a dirt bike. If the hike doesn't happen, you both go ride the TAT(trans american trail).
Sometimes kids need a little push. Its great your talking to him early!!! |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:26:37 AM EDT
[#15]
I can already hear him at school on Monday "guys I think my dads gone crazy. He wants me to walk 2000 miles when I graduate highschool. I think this is his way of telling me I'm not getting a car when I turn 16."
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:30:41 AM EDT
[#16]
Sounds like a plan. I would have liked to have done it when I was young. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:30:44 AM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
He's 13. He only wants to play minecraft and watch youtube. I have 5 years to break that habit. https://www.geocaching.com/guide/ |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:30:57 AM EDT
[#18]
"I always wanted to see America, but now I'm forty-five so I'm talking my son into going on a four month walk in the woods without me." That don't make no sense.
Take him hiking next weekend. Then take him some where else for another hike the following weekend. Then take the family on a road trip vacation this summer. Get them all in the family truckster, drive out West, do some hiking and then drive back home. Stop and see all of the sights there and back. Rinse and repeat. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:32:18 AM EDT
[#19]
Quoted:
When I was 19 and in the army (in germany) I always said I was going to tour the USA when I got back home. Of course, I never did and now, at 45 , it's my biggest regret. Like so many others, I got out of the army, went to college, got a job, got married, had kids and have been tied down ever since. My son is 13 now and I told him that I want him to find a friend or group of friends who, upon graduating high school, will hike the Appalachian trail. I've told him that I will provide him with gear and mail him money, food, wellness packages, whatever. He just needs to do it, see the east coast, and discover himself. Then he'll have a story to tell for his entire life and will see other parts of the US. My wife, and this is no lie, has never left home. She went to a local nursing school and lived at home during that time, then when we got married we bought land from her parents and built a house "on the farm". Her parents are our next door neighbors. Aside from typical tourist destinations while on vacations she has never seen anything outside of the area and has no idea of how diverse the US can be geographically and culturally. This lack of experience makes her hate what I'm asking my son to do out of fear. As I've grown I've watched older coworkers talk sadly about their kids leaving the house and going off to college. Then those kids get a job and that's it. Would anyone else consider doing this or asking your kid to do it? How cool would it be if 5 years from now a group of arfcom kids met up at the trailhead and started their adult lives with a great adventure? Does he have any interest in the outdoors and hiking? If not you need to introduce that to him and let it grow, setting out to thru-hike the A.T. is not something someone just does if they don't already have an interest in the outdoors. Hell, as much as I like the outdoors and hiking/backpacking Im not sure an A.T. Thru-hike is something I'd want to do. I do wholeheartedly agree though with encouraging him to do something while he is young. If not a thru hike, maybe an Auto tour of the U.S., at least the western/south-western part. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:32:25 AM EDT
[#20]
Never a better time in life to do that than after you graduate high school.
I've done parts of it, I am doing a section this summer. If I could do my life over again, one of the things I would do is take a year off and hike Europe or the AT. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:33:56 AM EDT
[#21]
OP, have you ever taken him hiking or camping?
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:35:05 AM EDT
[#22]
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:38:24 AM EDT
[#23]
Mmmm, a lot of the responses are interesting but that's because I can't include all the facts. My wifes plan is that my son not work while in high school. Then we (I) pay for his college and then he live at home as long as he wants/needs. She's already informed me of this. Her plan breeds dependance on me. I want him to go out there and become independant.
If he is kicking /screaming/crying about it when he's 18, I won't push him out the door but I will encourage it, for his own good. I joined the army when I was 18 mainly to get the college fund. I didn't join because I was super eager about the prospect of fighting in a war. In the end it was a great experience even though I did end up in a war and i'll admit, my dad, a vietnam vet, pushed me a bit to enlist. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:38:37 AM EDT
[#24]
Start overnight hiking with him. Make them easy fun trips, teach him how to pack, set up a tent, cook good trail food. Get him interested, then offer to bankroll the trip.
I too regret not hiking the AT, but I always thought I didn't have the time. Now I have responsibilities where I can't take 6 months or more off. My father in law section hiked about half the trail when he retired before his knees gave out, so there is hope for me, and you, yet. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:41:56 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
OP, have you ever taken him hiking or camping? Hiking a few times but short hikes. Camping 3 times now. He seems to enjoy it while we're doing it. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:44:10 AM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Mmmm, a lot of the responses are interesting but that's because I can't include all the facts. My wifes plan is that my son not work while in high school. Then we (I) pay for his college and then he live at home as long as he wants/needs. She's already informed me of this. Her plan breeds dependance on me. I want him to go out there and become independant. If he is kicking /screaming/crying about it when he's 18, I won't push him out the door but I will encourage it, for his own good. I joined the army when I was 18 mainly to get the college fund. I didn't join because I was super eager about the prospect of fighting in a war. In the end it was a great experience even though I did end up in a war and i'll admit, my dad, a vietnam vet, pushed me a bit to enlist. Encourage him to join the .mil with the 11X option after HS, he'll get plenty of hiking with his bros. Plus get his learnin paid for. or tell him he has to keep a certain GPA for you to pay for "collage", work a part time job etc. in order for you to pay for it all. Wit ha certain GPA he should get scholarships and cut down on your cost. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:44:11 AM EDT
[#27]
If you want to create independence, that's great. But there are better ways to see the US than hiking the AT - he'll finish thinking most of the eastern US is just a continuous rhododendron tunnel.
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:47:15 AM EDT
[#28]
I did Maine through Pennsylvania when I was in college and you're absolutely correct- it is still one of the most memorable things I've done and I look back on it fondly.
But I did it because I wanted to. Had someone made me do it, I probably wouldn't have. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:49:16 AM EDT
[#29]
OP you should totally do it, hike the trail that is.
This sounds like it's your dream and not his. If it's yours then do it and let him follow his dreams. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 10:55:31 AM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
OP you should totally do it, hike the trail that is. This sounds like it's your dream and not his. If it's yours then do it and let him follow his dreams. This. I was on the AT last weekend, and there was a father and son hiking it together. Dad looked about 60, and the son looked around mid-late 30s. Besides them, there were lots of 40+ yr old people out there. Unless the OP has some medical disability, it's not too late. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 11:03:43 AM EDT
[#31]
While I think it's absolutely healthy to encourage him to venture out and explore the world around him I do agree with some of the other posts here as well. It has to be his adventure that he wants to embark on.
If he's encouraged to expand his horizons and not shelter and limit himself into the typical post high-school pattern he will undoubtedly come up with a plan of his own choosing that accomplishes the same growth potential. He may not like hiking but may wish to tour the US on a motorcycle as an example. But he may in fact really enjoy backpacking and hiking and choose to through-hike any number of trails. But the adventure should be of his choosing or he's not likely to be passionate about to commit to the level required for success. Just my opinion though. But good for you for encouraging him to take a different approach than the status-quo. Cheers! -JC |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 11:05:36 AM EDT
[#32]
Shut down the internet for a month, take him camping for no less than a solid week at least once a year, teach him 5 ways to make a fire, and as he gets a little older make it known to him all the crazy amounts of trail pussy he will crush.
OP, as of this time last year I expected to be on the AT right now. Life changed up a bit and I wouldn't have it any other way than it is now, but I am still planning a through hike of the Colorado Trail and JMT. I'm 35. There is time for all of us. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 11:06:41 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
He would probably have more fun backpacking around Europe for a month or two. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 11:07:01 AM EDT
[#34]
Are there bears on the Trail?
Then, nope. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 11:08:10 AM EDT
[#35]
Sounds like you want him to be something he doesn't care about. Also, he's 13.
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Posted: 5/22/2016 11:09:21 AM EDT
[#36]
It sounds like a great time to me, but make sure your son is into the idea.
If he's not, and you keep going on about it, he will want to do ANYTHING but that when the time comes. I hope it works out. That would be an epic trip for a young man. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 11:19:13 AM EDT
[#37]
AT is probably not what you're envisioning.
Jumping on the AT from a cold start with no experience is going to be nothing but bad. Your wife is going to ruin your boy if you let her. It's not too late to lead by example and get "out there" with him. Have you looked into boy scouts? See if there's a good troop in your area. If so, both of you join and be as involved as possible. IMHO, you're on the wrong road in lots of ways although your offer, I'm sure, was heart felt and indeed very generous. At 13, he's feeling old enough to not be commanded. You'll have to figure a way to entice and encourage him to lay off the screen time and pick up some worthwhile activities. Not an easy thing to accomplish. Good luck. It can be done. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 11:22:20 AM EDT
[#38]
Ill just put this out there.
Let's assume he comes around and decides he might want to do this but won't voice that because of fear of being 100% on his own. I'm confident we could develop an arfcom emergency support system with as many members here that live near the trail. This might help your son and wife open up to the idea. Again, if he wants to do it. I know a father & son that have through hiked the trail several times |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 11:35:29 AM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Are there bears on the Trail? Then, nope. To the OP, anyone I have met that even set out to the whole AT did it with a deep personal drive that didn't require their friends to go on with them or because their parents wanted them to. Take your son now on some 1,3,5,7 days trips and then see if there is any point in even mentioning the AT in full. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 11:38:51 AM EDT
[#40]
Not a terrible goal, but it will take months and will suck unless you are into it. I would send him to a 2 week summer camp where they hike a small part of the AT, just to see if he likes it. And maybe the two of you could hire a guide to take you through the Hundred Mile Wilderness this summer.
I have hiked parts of the AT, and walking sucks after a few days. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 11:43:37 AM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sounds like YOU and some buddies should hike the trail. It sounds like your dream not his. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
He's 13. He only wants to play minecraft and watch youtube. I have 5 years to break that habit. Sounds like YOU and some buddies should hike the trail. It sounds like your dream not his. Yes, seems very odd and random other than it being your dream. When my son is 13 im going to spend 5 years convincing him that he needs buy a brick home when he moves out, not a stucco home because i like brick homes after living in both but my wife has only lived in stucco homes. My biggest regret is buying our current stucco home. See how off that sounds? |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 11:48:11 AM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Does he want to do it? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
When I was 19 and in the army (in germany) I always said I was going to tour the USA when I got back home. Of course, I never did and now, at 45 , it's my biggest regret. Like so many others, I got out of the army, went to college, got a job, got married, had kids and have been tied down ever since. My son is 13 now and I told him that I want him to find a friend or group of friends who, upon graduating high school, will hike the Appalachian trail. I've told him that I will provide him with gear and mail him money, food, wellness packages, whatever. He just needs to do it, see the east coast, and discover himself. Then he'll have a story to tell for his entire life and will see other parts of the US. My wife, and this is no lie, has never left home. She went to a local nursing school and lived at home during that time, then when we got married we bought land from her parents and built a house "on the farm". Her parents are our next door neighbors. Aside from typical tourist destinations while on vacations she has never seen anything outside of the area and has no idea of how diverse the US can be geographically and culturally. This lack of experience makes her hate what I'm asking my son to do out of fear. As I've grown I've watched older coworkers talk sadly about their kids leaving the house and going off to college. Then those kids get a job and that's it. Would anyone else consider doing this or asking your kid to do it? How cool would it be if 5 years from now a group of arfcom kids met up at the trailhead and started their adult lives with a great adventure? Does he want to do it? This. I'd be careful about living vicariously through your son... it's not too different than the sports dads who try to give junior every opportunity they wish they'd had, and rarely ask the kid if that's even what he wants. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 11:48:55 AM EDT
[#43]
As most others here are saying, don't force it on him. It is obvious you have good intentions, but forcing your idea of adventure on your son will not end well. Also, if you want him to see the East Coast, I recommend seeing more than Appalachia. Appalachia is a small part of the eastern U.S., and frankly, it is not much of a sight to see. If you want to show him mountains, take him out west to the Rockies and the Teton Range.
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Posted: 5/22/2016 11:49:19 AM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sounds like YOU and some buddies should hike the trail. It sounds like your dream not his. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
He's 13. He only wants to play minecraft and watch youtube. I have 5 years to break that habit. Sounds like YOU and some buddies should hike the trail. It sounds like your dream not his. Not a bad idea... he's acting as if he's washed up and gone, and not well under 50 with plenty of good years left in him. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 11:52:13 AM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Why not let him find his own "Appalachian trail" and support that? Making him do something you didn't won't work. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
He's 13. He only wants to play minecraft and watch youtube. I have 5 years to break that habit. Sounds like YOU and some buddies should hike the trail. It sounds like your dream not his. Why not let him find his own "Appalachian trail" and support that? Making him do something you didn't won't work. 
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Posted: 5/22/2016 11:59:20 AM EDT
[#46]
Really...do something with him... Load the car. 13 days got me from South FL to Yellowstone for 5 days in the park and another 2 nights camping in the teton national forest. 3 weeks of summer vacation should be more than enough to drive to yellowstone and hit one of the other parks, grand canyon, zion, petrified forest, glacier, mt saint helens/ranier.... Just do it.
Apalacian trail on his own. Maybe...as long as he is reliable. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 12:01:18 PM EDT
[#47]
My opinion, so ymmv:
You're young, buddy. Go hike it with him. It'll be time that he never forgets. I plan to hike the PCT with my son when he gets a bit older (he's 3 now). With regards to your wife's plan: fuck that. Get your kid out of the house and into a job now. Support his schooling, but let him make his own money. My wife and I both came up the same way. In high school she worked at a dry cleaner and I worked at a bicycle shop. We were both taught to work hard. She's now a senior executive at a multi-billion dollar software company and I own a successful business. We could sure afford for our kid to sponge off us his whole life, but why???? I can't even tell you how often I hear my customers whining about their 20-30 year old kids still living with them. It's one thing to love your kids, it's another to teach them how to be successful, independent humans. Both are essential for success. Good luck, man. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 12:03:00 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
He would probably have more fun backpacking around Europe for a month or two. Yeaaahhhh.... Nooo.... With all the recent "immigration" into Europe as of late, the Appalachian Trail looks like a much better alternative. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 12:05:16 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Sounds like YOU and some buddies should hike the trail. It sounds like your dream not his. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: He's 13. He only wants to play minecraft and watch youtube. I have 5 years to break that habit. Sounds like YOU and some buddies should hike the trail. It sounds like your dream not his. This, go hike that sucker OP, let your kid worry about his own stuff later. |
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Posted: 5/22/2016 12:05:38 PM EDT
[#50]
A friend of mine hiked part of the trail last year and came back with Lyme Disease. Be careful.
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