Dang, beat.


Yes....I did

Had a couple guys tell me this one.

Figured the AF method was to have room service drop off some real TP.

Kind off a spinoff ref mre tp, but 2 things about the boxes: I always thought that the Hesco barrier development had origins in the military use of empty mre boxes filled with dirt/sand to act as barriers. Then, when EFPs were being used, the use of the makeshift metal boxes filled with sand/material hung on the humvee doors, had its origins with the mre box

Now my epic mre tp story

In al anbar and foreign fighters were a big problem... IPs had a truckload of Syrians detained for weeks but no one was able to stick any type of charge on them...other than being 'wetbacks', but they didn't want to house and feed them, so wanted to return them. We escort them right to the border POE. We thought there might be some anxiety, but the Syrian border cops were pretty cool and gear queers. I know it was bad timing but I had to take a duece.

There was a 'welcome center' there, so I thought hey lot of tourists probably come here, so wanting to make a good impression, there will be some nice clean shitters, febreeze sprayers on the wall. Yeah, I'm kidding, but thought couldn't be any worse than Iraqis. WRONG. It was like someone tossed shit grenades in there. With gear still on, I position myself over the porcelin hole in the ground and go to shitting...it's bad, so bad it could influence future American Syrian relations. (We were out on ten day cycles and midway thru we ate some green chicken with our Iraqi counterparts) When I was done I realized I had a tp packet but not sure which pocket it was in... I started to sweat, I had a bandana but really didn't want to use my fucking desert recon ninja head wrap to wipe my ass...I searched every fricken pocket I could get to and then feel it in my side pants pocket, but now I have to somewhat recover from my squat in order to get the tp out in whole, all this while not touching any of the shit encrusted stall walls. I finally get it, and it must have been some magical tp, because for all the explosive action, I swear I used like two sheets and was clean! When I walked out, I know a few Syrians said something like the Americans blew out our toilets, that's why we don't have nice toilets. (Of course all I could hear was derka derka derka)

Actually a helicopter will fly over at 20 feet and blow sand up your ass.  Ask me how I know...

On the other hand, I know a great way to get a helicopter to find you if you are lost in the desert.  Just drop trou and about the time you hit the point of no return, you will hear it getting closer.

Ummm...

Hollee chit....I did not know that, I thought hesco was something developed around the 90s...whats the date on that pic? (Ok, saw the link photo,Civl War era)

Correct answer:  strip MRE down to main meal and snack, put in bag with travel sized pack of baby wipes.  Save instant coffee pack, throw everything else in garbage.

1860s... Civil War. My guess would be Petersburg.

They were called gabions, and have been around for centuries.

This one is definitely Petersburg.



Far newer than this sketch, which shows what may have been the first "pre-made" structures.



Historically, Joe usually had to make them from local materials.

Fucking awesome I can't believe I learned something from this read besides GD not knowing how to wipe their asses in the field.

I can't believe anyone ever took the "hole in the TP" joke seriously. But, Air Force.

When you really start to study history, it seems everything military leaders unofficially pass down as "fact" is 87% bullshit. But some are more obviously so.

If by "snack," you mean 2 packets of jalapeño cheese stolen from your buddy, then yes.

You stole your buddy's jalapeño cheese? Dude, that's just low.

Goes WAY back before that as well

Does that mean 2nd battalion 8 Marine Regiment?  Was never in the service.  If it does, my son is in the same. America's Battalion!

Pretty sure he was the one that put a vegetarian omelette in my rucksack.

1. Remove TP from packaging


2. Use as napkin while eating




3. Giggle at soldiers who actually have to use it




4. Poop in portajohn and use copious amounts of TP and wet wipes to get sparkling clean




5. Wait for DFAC privileges to be reinstated so you can quit eating MREs and go back to slightly cooked frozen pizza.




Dicks


 

(Eta: contractor, not military, don't stolen valor me bro)

I was never that bad, I did mix the coffee, creamer and salt packets together for a small snack.



I did find a half eaten chocolate covered cookie bar on the ground, it was like I found a $100 bill



 

This

I always like the stories from support (ie Non-combat) MOS's tell the Infantryman (like myself) and it always starts like this:

"No shit there I was . . ."

and ends with

"It was/I was/we were pretty badass. You shoulda been there or we're just like you."

Negative POG (pronounced Pogue) you are still just a shade higher on the totem pole than the dip spit on my boots.


Army Infantryman here, about halfway done as a Drill Sergeant.

Oh wait, this is a poop thread. I'm sure we'll find an MOS bashing thread here soon enough.

AUP shit holes were the same, funny on time watch one fal face first out of the porta john because he was sitting on the seat



I guess he reached for the door and and fell forward, since he didnt lock the door.



It was pretty funny.



 

You would have been beat to death in Ranger school.



Thats lower than banging your buddies girlfriend



 

Yep



Awesome!!



 

fire starter?

That was last deployment



We had nasty porta johns(FOB PASAB and COP Hutal) chow hall was good, until they closed it down.



 

Pffft
If you're reduced to using MRE TP you aren't planning properly
if you ARE reduced to using MRE TP hopefully you've saved up a few packets

Well... shit.

MRE's LOL, Coast Guard and Air National Guard here. I had MRE's one time back in 1991 while as an augmentee for the SP's guarding an empty base. The SMSGT would break out a case of MRE's and it would be a mad dash to make sure you didn't get the one breakfast. As for the tp situation, I always had the coffin locker or ruck filled with two ply and baby wipes.

Hmm. Judges ruling, FreeFallE7?

You know how I know you've eaten a lot of MREs?

Why? Wouldnt you burn more cakories digesting it then you woul get?

You need to PM this guy outofstep and introduce yourself. You two can fellate each other and stuff.

I had a fucking awesome First Sergeant who kept a small ammo can full of a map of Fort A.P. Hill that was painstakingly cut into grid squares with a razor.



He was just waiting for someone to pull the old standby "Go ask 1SG for a box of grid squares so he gets mad and smokes the dumb private" prank. One day it happened. He asked the stupid private who sent him to ask for it.



"Specialist xxx"



He handed him the ammo can with the admonishment "Tell Specliast xxx here's his fucking box of grid squares and I want him to glue my goddamn map back together and square it away or there will be hell to pay."

Lol! I like how he has to explain how POG is pronounced in a thread full of tanks. But he is infantry.
(Former infantry here don't blow a gasket)