Posted: 3/29/2003 9:41:12 AM EDT
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I was reading a post asking for ideas on a practical joke to play for ones graduation. This brought up some of the wonderful ones I was involved with in the Marines. 1. Axe / E-Tool Qual This was a mass casualty joke involving everyone from the squad leaders to the CO. It starts with the new meat (pvt, pfc) being lead around by a staff nco. As anyone in the suck can tell you everything has some kind of qualification or qual. These suckers wind up behind the motor pool for the axe/e-tool qual. By now everyone eltse is present and the betting comences on which newbie looks like the hardest charger ect. Each newbie is armed with a shovel or axe from the pioneer gear and placed far enough appart so as not to kill each other. Next a quarter is placed on the ground in front of each marine and they are told they must hit it 5 out of 6 times. At the last minute they are blind folded and they have thier covers removed and placed over the quarters (the same cover they spent hours starching and de-irish penenting). The signal is given and the new guys go to town hacking away until everyone starts to crack up. the looks on the newguys faces is priceless as they pick up what is left of thier cover. They wind up walking around the rest of the day with thier hand on thier head whenever outside and the ruined cover goes to the hall of fame. 2. Why the f*ck is my pack, sea bag, ect. so heavy ? can't count the number of times a sandbag, rock or similar item found its way into someones gear. 3. Who the F*ck laced my boots from the top to the bottom ? 4. Who the F*ck filled my boots with mashed poatato's ? 5. Who the F*ck gave the new pvt a fire watch list with special orders to wake the platoon sgt up at 03:00 ? 6. Who the F*ck were the two Marines dressed in MOPP 4 that shook 1st Sgt ..... awake at 03:00 screaming SCUD attack, gas gas gas. (late Feb 1991 somewhere in the saudi desert) 7. Who is the phantom shitter? 8. Who dug out from under all the tires of the platoon cmdrs hummer last night ? (it was resting on the frame, wheels hanging in space and the bastard never woke up) all for now |