Posted: 3/24/2003 3:15:54 PM EDT
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Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans? If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with? Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? |